


Reputation

by PetalsToFish



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Reputation - Taylor Swift
Genre: Album: Reputation (Taylor Swift), Angst and Fluff and Smut, Coming of Age, Complete, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Gryffindor James Potter, Healing, Idiots in Love, Quidditch Rivals, Rivals to Lovers, Slytherin Lily Evans Potter, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, jily
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2019-10-06 00:43:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 168,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17335484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PetalsToFish/pseuds/PetalsToFish
Summary: We think we know someone, but the truth is that we only know the version of them that they have chosen to show us. There will be no further explanation, only reputation. (Slytherin!Lily/Gryffindor!James)





	1. Bad Reputation

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jily and tay lovers everywhere](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=jily+and+tay+lovers+everywhere).



> Surprise friends!
> 
> My Slytherin!Lily fic was expanded into it's own universe!
> 
> This fic will center around a few themes, the major theme being (you guessed it) reputations and how they affect relationships at both a platonic and romantic level. I'll be updating once a week.
> 
> Shoot me a comment here or on tumblr,
> 
> Petals

The train was rolling through the streets of England, picking up speed as it went. Lily pressed her forehead against the window, trying to not sniffle to loudly or the other two boys in her compartment would hear her crying. Luckily, they were both chatting, talking about some candy one of them was eating. She pressed her green eyes shut, squeezing out some tears she'd been holding in.

She remembered Tuney's face on the platform, when Lily had tried to convince her to write to Dumbledore. Petunia hated Lily and it was all Sev's fault. Lily couldn't believe Tuney had called Lily a freak just because she could do magic. Lily's mum said Tuney was jealous, but Lily had tried sharing the magical world with her sister. Tuney was the one who had to be so bull-headed.

"Lily."

She winced when she recognized Sev's voice interrupting her replay of Petunia's scorn on the platform.

"I don't want to talk to you," Lily said in a constricted voice, turning her cheek.

"Why not?"

"Tuney hates me. Because we saw that letter from Dumbledore." Lily sniffed, looking up from the window to glare at Severus Snape.

"So, what?" Sev clearly failed to see the problem.

"So, she's my sister!" She threw him a look of deep dislike.

"She's only a —"

He caught himself quickly; Lily, too busy trying to wipe her eyes without being noticed, did not hear him. Lily was aware of her sleeves being covered in wet tear residue. She tried to run her sleeves on her legs furiously. She was such a baby, after all, who cried their first day of magic school? If Sev noticed her embarrassment, he was smart not to make note of it.

"We're going!" he said, unable to suppress the exhilaration in his voice. "This is it! We're off to Hogwarts!"

Lily nodded, mopping her eyes, but in spite of herself, she half smiled.

"You'd better be in Slytherin," said Snape, encouraged that she had brightened a little.

"Slytherin?"

One of the boys sharing the compartment, who had shown no interest at all in Lily or Snape until that point, looked around at the word. He was slight, black-haired like Sev, but with that indefinable air of having been well-cared-for. His school robes were pressed, and Lily thought she saw a faint line of lipstick on his cheek. He wore spectacles that were too big for his face and he was sitting beside a small pile of candy that could have made all of them sugar high.

"Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?" Specs asked the other boy that was lounging on the seats opposite.

"My whole family have been in Slytherin," the other boy said with a shrug.

"Blimey," said Specs, "and I thought you seemed all right!"

"Maybe I'll break the tradition." Lily watched Sev give the lounging boy a deliberate once over, "Where are you heading, if you've got the choice?"

Specs lifted an invisible sword, "' _Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart!_ ' Like my dad."

Sev made a small, disparaging noise. The boy in the glasses turned on him and Lily saw a challenge arise on his face. She didn't like the cocky look the boy painted, or the jeer pulled by his lips.

"Got a problem with that?"

"No," said Snape, though his slight scorn said otherwise. "If you'd rather be brawny than brainy —"

"Where're you hoping to go, seeing as you're neither?" interjected the lounging boy cleverly.

Specs roared with laughter and offered the lounger a high five. Severus was positively seething. Lily sat up, rather flushed, and looked from one boy to the other with dislike. They reminded her of the bullies at school that always made fun of her for her hand-me-down dresses from Tuney. Lily took Sev's arm.

"Come on, Severus, let's find another compartment."

"Oooooo..."

Both troublemakers imitated her lofty voice and Lily sent them a glare over her shoulder. Spectacles tried to trip Snape with a well-placed foot as he passed. Lily was certain that no matter what, she didn't want to be in the same house as those morons.

"See ya, Snivellus!" a voice called, as the compartment door slammed.

"Don't listen to them." Lily told Sev gently when she saw his face, "They're just bullies."

Sev sniveled and knocked Lily's hand off his shoulder as he adjusted himself to stand taller. Lily pursed her lips and followed him as they made their way to a new compartment. When she cleared her throat, Sev finally looked at her.

Severus eyed Lily curiously, "what house do you want to be in?"

"Does it matter?" Lily murmured back.

"You've got to be in Slytherin." Severus insisted.

Lily played with her hair, "that one boy didn't seem too eager about Slytherin. Why?"

Sev wrinkled his nose, "Slytherin has a bad reputation." he said "but no one will bully you if you're in that house."

"Why would anyone _try_ and bully me?" Lily asked crossly as they slipped into an empty compartment, "If I knew any spells those boys back there would've shut up."

Sev fell onto a soft cushion, following Lily's lead. He had a slight flush on his sallow face as he dug dirt from his fingernails. He was trying to not look at her, but Lily couldn't imagine why.

"Sev," Lily asked again, "Why would anyone want bully me?"

"Well," Sev's black eyes lifted to her face, "Because of who your parents are."

Lily furrowed her brow, "but you said it doesn't make any difference, being muggle born."

"I lied." Sev confessed and she whitened, "I'm sorry! I just—it doesn't matter. Especially not for you! I've seen you do loads of things. You're going to be a powerful witch! You've got so much magic—purebloods just wouldn't understand."

"So, purebloods," Lily felt a twinge in her heart, "purebloods will bully me."

"Not if you come into Slytherin," Sev urged as she bit her lip contemplatively, "not if you stay with me."

"What makes a difference between me being in Slytherin versus any other house?" she asked.

Severus leaned forward, trying to be persuasive, "Slytherin is where the most powerful witches and wizards come from! Everyone respects Slytherins and assumes they're half blood or higher."

"I'm not ashamed of my blood." Lily said, rather defensively.

Sev scowled, "I'm just saying that. It's just, Slytherin would be the best choice for you."

Lily nodded to show she'd listened to his side of the argument, but she didn't say anything for the rest of the trip. Not even when they were boated across the giant lake and she caught her first glimpse of Hogwarts. Instead, she struggled with her inner turmoil. One part of her was interested to see what the Sorting Hat would say but another part of her was terrified the hat would not know what to do with her.

Lily faced the candlelit House tables, lined with rapt faces. She was shaking from head to toe with anticipation. Everyone was staring at the line of first years getting ready to have their entire school lives chosen by an old hat. McGonagall read out the first name.

"Sirius Black."

Lily's head shot up and next to her Sev shifted in his shoes. It was one of the boys from the train, the one who'd been lounging. The one who said his entire family was in Slytherin. If he went to Slytherin, Lily wasn't sure she wanted to be in that house. There were a few whispers. Sev leaned in close to her ear.

"If he's a Black, he's destined for Slytherin."

"Why?"

"He's pureblood."

Pureblood rang through Lily's mind like a broken record, over and over again. The boy certainly looked royal, with sharp cheekbones and a handsome white smile. A few of the girls were giggling into their hands. Lily watched as the hat was slowly placed on Black's head. The boy sat there for a minute and then finally the hat called out Gryffindor and the table dressed with red cheered.

"Good riddance." Sev hissed as Black whipped the hat from his head and went to sit at the Gryffindor table with a surprised but proud smile, "He's not good enough for Slytherin."

"More like Slytherin's not good enough for him."

Specs had heard Sev and clearly didn't approve of Severus' comment. In fact, Specs and Sev were glaring at each other with so much hatred Lily was certain one was about to combust in flames.

Lily glanced back as Black was welcomed to the Gryffindor table happily. She supposed that since Black was a bully and a pureblood, she'd rather not go into Gryffindor. Lily glanced sideways at Sev to see he was watching other students sorted with eager eyes. He'd been waiting for this moment longer than Lily. He'd been waiting for the chance to prove himself. Lily knew Sev wanted nothing more than to break out of their little town called Cokeworths.

Hogwarts was going to give both Severus and Lily a chance to shine. Lily reached out to squeeze Sev's elbow encouragingly. That made Sev stop staring daggers at Specs.

Lily wanted to be where Sev was, after all he was her best friend.

Professor McGonagall called, "Evans, Lily!" and suddenly Lily felt like she'd been set on fire.

Lily walked forward on trembling legs and sat down upon the rickety stool. Professor McGonagall dropped the Sorting Hat onto Lily's head. Lily felt the hat move and, barely a second after the fabric had touched her red hair, Lily began whispering furiously to herself.

"Slytherin, please. _Slytherin_."

The hat paused, it's old voice slithering through her head, "well, you've got courage. A strong thirst to prove yourself...but your heart is so kind...you are strong."

"Please put me with my friend. _Please_. Slytherin."

"If you're sure…" the hat paused once more before shouting for everyone to hear, "Slytherin!"

Lily swiped off the hat, feeling her shoulders relax. Lily handed the old cloth back to Professor McGonagall who smiled uneasily at her. Lily hurried towards the cheering Slytherins wrapped in green cloaks. As she went, she glanced back at Sev to see him looking a little more than euphoric. She also caught the eye of the boy in the specs, the one from the train, he was giving her a disgusted look. She sent him a simper of a smile back.

The Slytherins all patted Lily on the back as she went to sit down. For the first time in her life she felt welcomed, instead of shunned. A boy in a tall hat with silver blond hair moved over for her. Everyone kept telling her hello, the ones wearing green at least. Someone waved her over to his side.

"Lucius Malfoy," he said in a silky voice, "If you need anything, I'm happy to help."

A prefect badge was gleaming upon his chest and Lily sent Malfoy a small smile before returning her attention to the Sorting Hat.

The roll call continued. Lily watched boy called Lupin, another called Pettigrew, and the boy with the specs join each other at the Gryffindor table. Lily made a mental note to avoid all four of them, if she wanted her first year to go smoothly.

Professor McGonagall called Severus second to last. Lily watched with a thumping heart as Sev walked to the stool slowly. She watched McGonagall place the hat upon his head and there was a slight pause. She thought she saw a bit of worry flicker across Sev's face and her heart began pounding again.

"Slytherin!" cried the Sorting Hat.

Lucius Malfoy patted Sev on the back as he sat down beside him, separating Malfoy from Lily. Lily reached out with both arms to envelope her best mate in a hug. Sev laughed against her hold and they both grinned at each other as the feast started.

Lily ate so much food she was certain that she'd never walk again. She'd never had such good tasting food and Sev looked like he had a stomach ache from eating too much. Lily almost felt like she was dreaming, everything was so magical.

That night they were shown the Slytherin common rooms where they would stay the remainder of their time at Hogwarts. The entrance to the common room was located behind a stone wall in the dungeons of Hogwarts Castle. It was located beneath the Black Lake, so the light in the common room was green and the air was thicker. A flickering stone fireplace in the corner of the common room was the only thing that gave off substantial heat. The head of the Slytherin house, Professor Slughorn, stopped by before everyone went to bed. Lily liked him immediately, he had a bit of a grandfatherly air about him.

"I'm Lily Evans," Lily told Professor Slughorn, shaking his hand.

"Evans, eh?" Slughorn said as he shook Lily's hand, "what class are you most looking forward too?"

"Charms and Potions," Lily speculated keenly and that made Slughorn erupt into laughter and pull her into a unexpected hug.

"You're buttering me up!" he announced as he let her go, "You knew I taught potions, didn't you?"

"Not at all," Lily said truthfully, "My mate Sev and I read this potions book back home called _Brewing for the Better_ that made brewing sound like a lot of fun."

Lily motioned behind her to Sev who waved at the Professor uncomfortably. Slughorn smiled widely at Sev and stuck out a hand. Sev shook it loosely. Lily bit her lip, Sev wasn't very good at making friends so she instantly spoke to make up for his hesitance.

"We both love potions." she gushed to Slughorn, "I'm sure Sev is going to be your best student. He really has a knack for potions."

"And what about you?" Slughorn asked, fondly, as if he'd known Lily for years, "What do you have a knack for, dear girl?"

Lily felt her eyes light up as she said, "I guess we'll see."

"I think we shall," Slughorn agreed, clapping her on the back ceremoniously before moving on to the next group of students awaiting his attention.

Lily spun to look at Sev with excited eyes, "He seems lovely."

"Yeah," she noticed Sev's eyes were watching some older boys trade something by the fireplace as he agreed with her.

Lily put her hands on her hips and surveyed Sev, "Do you think we'll have classes together?"

Sev's eyes fluttered back to hers, "We're first year, all first years have classes together."

"Good." Lily tilted her head at him, "I can't wait."

A voice interrupted Lily and Sev, "and what are your names?"

Lily and Sev turned to find a tall boy with dark brown hair and narrowed brown eyes staring at them. He was only a little taller than Sev, but he was flanked by two others who towered over them all. Lily held out her hand to him and he stared at it, unimpressed.

"I'm Lily Evans." she said kindly, "This is my mate Severus."

The boy shook Lily's hand daintily, "Mates call me Mason, Mason Mulciber."

Lily didn't quite like the look in Mulciber's eyes as she drew her hand away. She purposely took a step back, so she was shoulder to shoulder with Sev. Mulciber turned his stoney eyes on Sev when Lily backed away.

"Snape," Sev spoke up, "I prefer Snape."

"Evans and Snape." the boy glanced between them, "Not pureblood names."

"Half blood." Snape spoke up before Lily could speak, pushing himself forward so that he half blocked Lily, "We're half-bloods."

Lily sent Sev a disparaged look but Sev disregarded her clear displeasure. Something flickered in the eyes of the tallest boy that Lily didn't like one bit. She licked her lips and placed her hand on Sev's elbow.

"I'm going to bed," she told him softly, "See you in the morning for school?"

"Yeah." Sev said, but he didn't meet her eyes, he was too busy staring at the boy who'd interrupted them, "Night."

"Goodnight." Lily whispered, pushing past Sev and making sure to send the boy, the one with the dark eyes, an intimidating stare.

Time passed like it always did, fast and without notice.

Lily's first year is a blur of magical wands and tense quills scratching at parchment. Sev was right, most people didn't bother with Lily and she was free to walk the halls learning all sorts of things. She had a happy routine at school, especially since she was always at Sev's side.

Lily's second and third year found her excelling in all her classes and astounding everyone with her charm work. She also happened to have a dab for potions, something that Professor Slughorn was so impressed by, that he even invited her to join his elite club. After Lily made Slughorn promise that she could bring Sev, they met the Slug Club once a month for fancy dinners. Sometimes Lily was called a teacher's pet, but most people directed their nasty thoughts onto Severus. He wasn't as outgoing as Lily and most people found him to be a bit odd. Sev got detention a lot in third year, mostly because he couldn't stop fighting James Potter and his troublesome mates.

Lily swore she blinked and suddenly she was fourteen, walking through the Hogwarts' halls with a smile and a friend at each hip. When she wasn't with Severus, Lily spent most of her time hanging out with Amelia Greengrass, a pureblood witch who was in Lily's year. Well put together with ocean blue eyes, Amelia could get a boy to do something for her with just one flutter of her eyelashes. Amelia was powerful because of her family name, magical blood that flowed so deep in her veins it seemed that everyone knew who she was.

Nonetheless, Lily and Amelia were friends, seeing as they were the only two girls who were fourth year Slytherins. They shared a small dorm in the back of Slytherin house and had a very good relationship. Amelia never commented on Lily's slim knowledge of the wizarding world and she hardly ever made snide comments about muggles. Lily often wondered if Amelia knew that her anti-muggle comments got under Lily's skin.

Amelia was still a pureblood, and purebloods despised muggleborns. The only person at Hogwarts who knew Lily's true heritage was Severus Snape, but he was determined to take Lily's secret to the grave. Lily also knew that Professor McGonagall (who had been the one to deliver Lily's Hogwarts letter) probably had heard rumors of Lily's lie. Luckily, the Professor seemed to either not care or notice Lily's little ruse.

With a natural knack for charms and potions, no one questioned Lily's upbringing anyways. Lily was almost top of the class in everything. Had it not been for the competition coming from Gryffindor, she might've been the top fourth year at school. Sadly, Potter and Black were determined to make Lily fight even harder to be the best at magic in their year. At fourteen years old, she'd grown to know James Potter and Sirius Black much better.

Black and Potter were like brothers and they matched each other in all matters of wit and cleverness. Lily was a few points behind both of them in Transfiguration, Defense Against the Dark Arts and Divination. Care of Magical Creatures was being ruled by their other mate and Gryffindor, Remus Lupin. Sev, a brilliant potioneer, was fighting Potter for the top spot in Potions, though Lily was close behind them and determined to take the lead. Lily only held her title as top student in Charms.

Lily had never been competitive, until she'd been introduced to James Potter. He was her aggressive competition in everything, including Quidditch. Potter played chaser to Lily's seeker on the Quidditch field. They might have only played against each other once, but ever since Lily caught the snitch before Potter could score another goal for a Gryffindor win, he hated her.

Part of the reason for Lily's rooted hatred for Potter was the fact that he always had to one-up her in everything she did. Another reason was because he picked on Sev a lot just because Sev was in Slytherin and best friends with Lily. Potter loved making both their lives miserable, but he especially loved to tease Lily.

He called to her as she made her way up the stairs of the castle after quidditch practice, always ready for a verbal sparring match when he spotted her. Lily had her broomstick on one shoulder, so she used her free hand to send Potter a rude hand gesture. Toni Spellers, a seventh year Slytherin, snorted next to Lily when she spotted whom Lily was eloquently flipping off. Potter blew Lily a kiss from his spot beside Sirius Black. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Go kiss a troll, Potter." She said.

"Let me know the time and place, Evans."

Lily didn't dare turn.

She'd long since learned that ignoring Potter was the best way to win against his banter.

"Potter likes you." Toni commented with a grin.

"Potter is the worst combination of boy," Lily said, "Gryffindor and a git."

"He's still a pureblood." Toni hummed. "I'd snog him."

"Have at it."

Lily had learned a lot in the four years she'd been at Hogwarts.

Even as she waved goodbye to Toni Spellers, Lily was thinking about the most important thing she'd learned: muggleborns were synonymous with dirt in the Slytherin dormitories. Severus had been right when he'd told Lily that she'd be safe in Slytherin but what he'd failed to mention was that she'd have to play another role to be safe.

Muggleborn prejudice was spreading beyond the whispers in the shadows.

Turning into the first-floor loo, Lily was dealt with a stark reminder of pureblood supremacy. Lily almost dropped her broomstick onto the loo floor when she spotted the curly blond hair covering the face leaning over the sink. Lily's stomach churned with disgust and despair.

Mary MacDonald, frontside soaked in her own bile, was holding herself up against a sink in the first-floor loo. It was clear that MacDonald was having some sort of panic attack, as her breaths were uneven and pained. Lily's black shoes were frozen on the stone ground as her head whipped around and she looked for someone else to take care of the sick girl. No one was in the loo besides Mary and the sick witch was staring into the mirror like she saw death itself staring back.

Lily took one large step, then another, as guilt rushed through her brain. Lily should've been in Mary's place. Lily should've been the one that was targeted. Lily was the one who should've been pointed at in the hallways and scorned at dinner.

But she wasn't.

Lily placed her hand on Mary's shoulder awkwardly.

"MacDonald?"

A moan accompanied MacDonald's flutter of her eyes, "Go away."

"What's wrong?"

"Mulci-" Mary stopped herself short when she opened one eye and caught the Slytherin crest on Lily's breast pocket, "Ugh."

Lily knew enough to put the pieces together.

Lily's blood ran cold and her cheeks blazed as she recognized the name of the idiot fifth year in her house who loved to pick on muggleborns like Mary MacDonald. Lily had heard him brag one too many times about his conquests in the common room. Lily had heard what Mulciber liked to do with the muggleborns first hand and it wasn't pleasurable in the slightest.

Finding Mary MacDonald crying until she was sick in girls' loo reminded Lily exactly why she was hiding herself in the shadows of the green robes.

Lily helped the pale girl to the Hospital Wing and Madame Pomfrey rewarded Lily's house fifteen points. MacDonald couldn't even look Lily in the eyes to say thank you. Lily knew why and she bit her lip as she turned away from the Gryffindor muggleborn. Lily had tried to help the muggleborns when she first came to Hogwarts but Sev had stopped her after a particular fight almost broke out in the Slytherin common room.

They'd fought about that too.

Severus was adamant that Lily needed to stay in the shadows, safe, where she wouldn't be seen as anything special. Lily wasn't very good at taking bullies sitting down like a good girl. Especially when most of the bullies were somehow coming from her own house. Slytherin was developing into a house that everyone feared...respect wasn't even a proper word to describe what people saw when they watched Lily's housemates pass.

Lily saw the fear in first year's eyes when she passed by in her green robes etched with a snake emblem.

Lily hated when she passed the giant stone columns with bejeweled counters in the main hall. Slytherin was trailing behind Gryffindor thanks to James Potter, who'd been awarded fifty points for rescuing Severus two weeks before. Lily didn't want to think about Severus or James Potter. She was mad at the both of them. Potter for being an insufferable pig and Severus for being overly protective and utterly dismissive of the problems rooted in their house.

As if he knew Lily was thinking about him, Severus appeared, surrounded by other Slytherin's at the entrance to the courtyard. They all waved, Sev the most, as she made her way out into the courtyard for a breath of fresh air. Lily heard Sev follow her. Lily didn't even glance his way, she was seething inside, and she didn't want to say anything she might regret later. Sev immediately noticed Lily's cold persona.

"Are you okay?"

"No."

"You walked past me in the hallway five minutes ago."

"I saw you, I just didn't want to stop and chat."

Severus frowned, "I thought we were supposed to be friends?" Snape said. "Best friends?"

"We are, Sev, but I don't like some of the people you're hanging round with!" Lily brushed her fingers through her hair, "I'm sorry, but I detest Avery and Mulciber! Mulciber! What do you see in him, Sev, he's creepy! D'you know what he tried to do to Mary MacDonald the other day?"

Lily had reached a pillar and leaned against it, looking up into the thin, sallow face. Mary's face had been paler than Sev's in the loo when Lily found her. Guilt flashed through Lily's brain again.

"That was nothing," said Sev. "It was a laugh, that's all —"

"It was Dark Magic, and if you think that's funny —"

"What about the stuff Potter and his mates get up to?" demanded Sev. His color rose again as he said it, unable, it seemed, to hold in his resentment.

"What's Potter got to do with anything?" said Lily, feeling exasperation rise again.

"They sneak out at night. There's something weird about that Lupin. Where does he keep going?"

"He's ill," said Lily. "They say he's ill —"

"Every month at the full moon?" said Sev.

"I know your theory," said Lily.

She shuddered as the word werewolf floated around in her brain. There were always rumors of course, and Potter was almost always at the center of each rumor. People either loved to hate Potter or hated that they loved him. Severus definitely loved to hate Potter and anything to do with Potter, including Potter's mates.

"Why are you so obsessed with them anyway?" Lily asked pointedly, "Why do you care what they're doing at night?"

"I'm just trying to show you they're not as wonderful as everyone seems to think they are."

The intensity of his gaze made Lily blush. She remember Toni Speller's words earlier. It was the first time someone had taken Lily and James' sparring as a precursor to flirting. Lily didn't like James Potter, he was a bully after all. She'd seen some of the nasty things he'd done...still...it was nothing compared to Mulciber trying to use imperious curses on Mary MacDonald.

Sev had been there when Mulciber tried to force Mary MacDonald to kiss him out by the broom shed. Sev hadn't stopped Mulciber from putting his hands down Mary MacDonald's robes. This time, for the first time, James Potter was the one who came out the hero.

"They don't use Dark Magic, though." Lily dropped her voice. "And you're being really ungrateful. I heard what happened the other night. You went sneaking down that tunnel by the Whomping Willow and James Potter saved you from whatever's down there —"

Sev's whole face contorted and he spluttered, "Saved? _Saved_? You think he was playing the Gryffindor hero? He was saving his neck and his friends' too! You're not going to — I won't let you —"

"Let me? _Let me_?"

Lily's bright green eyes were slits. He could be so demanding, it was infuriating. Sev backtracked at once.

"I didn't mean — I just don't want to see you made a fool of — He fancies you, James Potter _fancies_ you!" The words seemed wrenched from him against his will. "And he's not . . . everyone thinks. . . big Quidditch hero —" Sev's bitterness and dislike were rendering him incoherent, and Lily's eyebrows were traveling farther and farther up her forehead.

Lily knew Sev and Potter weren't the best of friends. They had some weird boy competition that had been happening since the day James tried to trip Sev on the train in first year.

"I know James Potter's an arrogant toerag," she said, cutting across Sev. "I don't need you to tell me that. But Mulciber's and Avery's idea of humor is just evil. Evil, Sev. I don't understand how you can be friends with them."

The moment she had insulted James Potter, his whole body had relaxed, and as they walked away there was a new spring in Snape's step.

"They're the most popular kids in school, Lily." Sev said, "I keep up appearances for the both of us."

"Popular." Lily scoffed, "Sev, kids are scared of them. That's not the kind of thing I'd want _you_ to be known for. They go for muggleborns like they've already joined the Death Eaters."

Lily wasn't certain he'd heard any of her lectures about Mulciber or cared that she found MacDonald crying in the loo. Instead he suggested that Lily not worry.

"No one here knows you're a muggleborn except for me." Sev reminded her, "and Mulciber wouldn't dream of touching you."

"Sometimes I want to just tell the world." Lily hissed as they searched for bowtruckles among the trees near Hagrid's hut, "I hate him so much, he thinks he's better than me."

"Just play nice." Sev got a worried look, as if he believed she'd have the gall to fight Mulciber, "you don't want to go picking fights with people like Mulciber."

"Someone needs to stand up to him." Lily said, "Sev, I picked Slytherin to escape the bullies, not be surrounded by them."

"But Gryffindor is full of bullies too." Sev pointed out. "Potter and his mates jinxed that one muggleborn's head twice its size last week. Aubrey? I think that's his name."

"That's because Aubry was picking on Peter Pettigrew." Lily said, "I saw the whole thing."

"Well it was still bullying a muggleborn." Sev muttered grumpily, "You can't pick and choose bullying examples."

"Sev." Lily threw up her hands, "The only reason that I'm not picked on for being muggleborn is because you told everyone in first year that I'm a half blood."

"Aren't you happy you aren't being picked on?" Sev asked as if she were being inconsiderate, "Isn't that the whole point?"

Lily broke a twig from a branch thoughtfully, "sometimes I feel like I don't belong in Slytherin."

"Sure, you do." Severus said, "after all, our Quidditch team would be nothing without their seeker!"

"I know," Lily smiled, thinking of quidditch, "but—"

"But?" Severus probed, "Lily everyone in the school knows who you are. Our head of house personally invites you over for drinks and treats every other week. You beat everyone in charms exam scores last year and you just got placed on the quidditch team! You _belong_ in Slytherin."

Lily tossed Severus a look over her shoulder sadly, "No one in this school knows me like you do Sev, because no one in this school knows the real me."

"And no one will ever know you as well as I do." Sev said, "you're worrying over nothing, Lily."

"I just feel like I'm a coward for not being who I am."

"You aren't being a coward." Sev rolled his eyes, "You're being smart. You've _seen_ what happens to muggleborns."

"I feel bad for Mary MacDonald." Lily said.

"You're just scared." Sev placed his hand on her shoulder, "But you shouldn't be. I won't let anyone hurt you."

Lily should've known the possessive smile on Sev's face was a foreshadow, a warning like the red flashing lights in muggle streets. Unfortunately, she wouldn't decipher the meaning and motives behind his smiles until much later. She would assume his slight touches and hugs were platonic; a brotherly type of love that stemmed from them growing up together.

At fourteen the word love seems very simple, when in fact, there is nothing simple about it at all.


	2. Gorgeous

_Chapter 2:_

_You should think about the consequence_

_Of your magnetic field being a little too strong_

James met Evans when he was young, eleven to be exact.

Now, at fifteen years old, they were the closest to rivals as one could get.

Opposite houses.

Opposing friends.

Conflicting quidditch teams.

Lily Evans was someone that had as much of a competition streak as James. Even in classes, James often found himself competing against her in charms and potions. Last year, fifth year, was even worse for them seeing as OWLs were given at the end of term and James was determined to get straight O's all term. He's gotten almost straight O's but his potions work could've used some brushing up. James heard Evans attempted for the same streak. She had to do whatever James did and beat him at his own game, just out of spite.

James had never met anyone with as much spunk and wit as Lily Evans had in one little finger. From the moment they'd met on the Hogwarts Express at eleven years old, James knew something about her was trouble. First, her clever eyes and sharply turned mouth were alway preparing to outwit him. Second, she was beautiful, with emerald eyes and red hair that starkly contrasted the Slytherin robes she wore. Third, Evans was a quick and talented witch. She made everyone else feel inferior with just one look.

Besides, if anyone dared go up against Evans they'd have all of Slytherin team to answer to. The Quidditch captain, Flint, treated Evans like she was breakable. He always had his eyes on her, probably because Slytherin knew how lucky they were to have Evans' tiny form weaving in and out of players for the snitch. Gryffindor's seeker, Shawn Jones, was a bit larger than Evans and it showed. Jones couldn't weave like a snake through her opponents like Evans could on a broomstick.

James watched Evans play against Hufflepuff one blistery winter day. The stands were pretty empty of spectators, the cold chill scaring many students back into the warm castle walls. James never missed a game though, weather or not, so he sat with the rest of his team in the Gryffindor stands as Slytherin annihilated Hufflepuff. Evans cut off Hufflepuff's seeker last minute, stealing the snitch right out from under their noses. The second Evans' hand closed around the golden snitch, Hufflepuff's beater angrily hit a bludger that collided with Evans' face the minute Madame Hooch called the game.

Evans barely even flinched.

Even now, with blood streaming from her broken nose as she walked across the field after the game, she looked like she'd won the quidditch cup instead of a quick game against Hufflepuff. Evans' chin was pointed out and her sleeves were rolled up past her elbows to show off her new bruises from the game. She wore the black and blue spots proudly, like they were real battle scars. Hufflepuff's defeated team glared as Evans walked past, but no one dared say anything, she could hold her own in a duel.

Other people might be intimidated by her, but James was drawn to Evans like a moth was drawn to flame. In hindsight, she was a horrible person for him to be around because she brought out the most competitive, ridiculous parts of James. He should've stayed up in the stands until Evans had cleared the field. Instead, he'd stupidly followed the other Gryffindors down to the field to give Hufflepuff their condolences.

Evans walked right up to James when she spotted him among the spectators congratulating the players. She had a playful glint in her eyes that she always saved just for sparing with James.

"You look ghastly, Evans." James commented as she let her eyes travel up and down his face, "gives a new meaning to ' _bad blood_ ' eh?"

"Bet you wish that you were the one to take the swing that broke my nose." she said coolly.

"I _was_ cheering pretty loudly for Chastity, to be honest."

Her mouth quirked, "Brutal." She crossed her arms, "so, did you pay Chastity off to try and knock me out with that bludger?"

James put a hand on his chest to feign shock, "are you accusing me of sabotage?"

Evans uncrossed her arms and pushed a loose strand of her hair into her bun, "I'm just saying it's suspicious that Chastity would send a bludger my way when she knew that I had the snitch either way."

"Yes, yes," James shoved his hands in his pockets, "We were all there to watch your heroic catch Evans, but I fail to see as to why you think _I_ might've had anything to do with it?"

"Well considering Gryffindor needed Slytherin to lose to Hufflepuff…" Evans said, "I'm wondering if you and Chastity planned for me to almost lose my front teeth today."

"You know what they say," James took his glasses off to clean them on his sleeve before replacing them on the bridge of his nose, "the only friendly snake in the world is the one without fangs."

Evans let out a snort at his joke, "and you know what they say about Gryffindors, don't you?"

"We're exceedingly brave?" James asked charmingly.

" No." She feigned holding up claws, "They're always lion."

James almost laughed.

" _Evans_!"

James and Evans jumped when Evans' captain, Andrew Flint, yelled at her from the Slytherin side. Flints eyes were narrowed as they observed Evans chat with James. Evans turned her cheek hastily so she could shoot Flint an annoyed expression.

"What Flint?"

"Get your arse over here and stop flirting with the competition."

"You think I'd flirt with _him_?" Evans barked back, "Flint, you wound me."

James scrutinized Evans as she sighed melodramatically before she waltzed her way back over to her fellow Slytherins. James heard Evans tell Flint he was a jealous cod and Flint spewed spit as he told her off for talking to James.

"He's a Gryffindor!" Flints voice travels easily with the wind.

"It's a free world Flint, I can trade wits with whomever I like."

"Not on _my_ team."

"Right, so when do you graduate again?"

James ducked his head to hide a smile. She was unbelievingly witty for someone who counted Severus Snape as a best friend. James ruffled his hair and slowly made his way across the field to where his own team were panicking because Slytherin had most likely won the cup for the year if Gryffindor didn't beat Ravenclaw in May.

A seventh year Gryffindor named Colby, one of James' team mates, apprehended James the moment he was within earshot.

"Why were you talking to Evans?"

"She wanted to know if I paid off Chastity to lug that bludger in her direction last minute."

"Did you?" Colby asked, looking as if he might kiss James if it were true.

"Nope," James said, "I think Chastity was just pissed after Evans side-swiped Zanders for the snitch."

Colby cracked his knuckles and shot Evans a glare over his own broad shoulder, "She plays like an untrained baby Hippogriff."

"Be careful that Evans doesn't hear you say that," Marlene McKinnon, Gryffindor's own beater spoke up, "She's got a bad temper."

Colby sniffed, "She doesn't scare me."

James raised a challenging brow at their beater, "Colby, Evans is right behind you."

Everyone laughed when Colby turned bright red and spun on his heel to apprehend Evans...who happened to be twenty paces away on the field hugging her friends.

James wiped tears from his eyes as Colby turned back around to tackle James into the ground and start punching his stomach. James was laughing, Colby only joshed with him, but James still held his hands up to protect his glasses from being broken by the roughhousing. Professor McGonagall, head of Gryffindor house and James' favorite teacher, appeared. She shot her quidditch team a bothered stare, as if unsurprised to find two of her students on the ground wrestling like muggles.

McGonagall looked over the rim of her glasses, "Colby, who are you sitting on top of?"

James twisted out from under Colby's grasp, "Hullo Professor."

McGonagall looked like she needed a long vacation when she saw James underneath Colby, "Why am I not surprised?"

"Sorry Professor." Colby stood up, leaving James on his back on the ground of the pitch.

McGonagall stared down at James sternly, "Well, what are you doing? Get up Potter."

"Just taking a quick nap, Professor."

James threw his hands behind his head and crossed his legs, shooting a smile at the sky as everyone watching continued snickering into their hands. At that exact moment, Evans happened to be passing by with her mate Greengrass. Evans leaned over James' frozen body, her long red fringe forming a halo around her face. James squinted through his lashes at her. Someone had fixed her bloodied nose and cleaned up her face from the rogue bludger.

"Who finally offed him?" she asked as she stepped gracefully around him, gathering a laugh from everyone around except Professor McGonagall.

"Why?" Marlene McKinnon jested, "Would you mourn him, Evans?"

Evans exhaled, "Only devastated that he'll miss out on the golden opportunity to watch Slytherin take the quidditch cup from Gryffindor in May."

"Hah!" James' eyes popped right open, "in your dreams!"

"Dreams concerning you are normally called _nightmares_ , Potter." Evans whipped around so that she was walking away backwards, her green eyes glittering treacherously at him.

There were a chorus of " _oooooo's_ " that erupted from James' field mates. James laughed to hide his annoyance. Evans always had to have the last word, it was something that drove him to madness sometimes. James noted Evans only looked back once more to shout for her friend to catch up. She didn't look back at James. He stared after her retreating back until the crowd had swallowed her up.

Of course, James got the last laugh in the end.

Gryffindor beat Ravenclaw and knocked Slytherin down from their first place pedestal to second place. Headmaster Dumbledore himself passed James the quidditch cup. The Slytherins were completely blindsided by Gryffindor's win. Three fights between Gryffindor and Slytherin had already broken out since the game was won that afternoon. Gryffindor house was in the midst of a crazy party, celebrating the victory with drinks and loud music. Two hours into the celebration the Gryffindor common room ran out of nicked firewhiskey. James and Peter had raced out of Hogwarts last minute to grab more firewhiskey when Peter got food poisoning suddenly and had to go back to Hogwarts without James.

Normally, James wouldn't mind sneaking back into Hogwarts with illegal booze, if he hadn't given Peter his invisibility cloak. James had nothing to hide him from portraits with wandering eyes and prefects with wandering feet. So now, James had to sneak back into the castle with only his wits to get him out of detention. James was just slipping back into the main part of the castle when he saw a familiar name on the map floating towards his own name.

_Lily Evans._

The golden string of words followed the footprints that gained on James, who was currently trapped between the statue of the humpbacked witch and the hallway that led to his escape. The map never lied, so even though James couldn't hear her soft footfalls clearly he knew that the pretty prefect was just about to run right into him. He could just imagine the look on Evans' face when she found him halfway through a wall, carrying illegal booze.

James stuffed the Marauders Map into his pocket quickly before he looked around furiously, realizing he'd gotten himself into a pickle. It was easy to sneak around Hogsmede, the wizard village, but it wasn't easy to navigate Hogwarts after curfew.

Especially not with prefects and teacher patrolling the corridors...and James had one particularly noteworthy (and most likely bitter) Slytherin Prefect coming his way with wit and a wand.

"Oh, _fuck_ , I'm in trouble." He hissed under his breath as the sound of Evans' heels hitting the stone floor started echoing closer to him.

He could run back behind the statue and try to wait her out, but he knew Evans would at least see his cloak whip around the corner at this rate. Evans was smart, she'd figure something was amiss. She might even know about the passageway. James' cheeks were still flushed from the cold night air and the six pack of firewhiskey in his hand was covered in a slight frosting of dust from the passageway. He pressed the bottles behind his back just as Evans turned the corner.

Green eyes, that's what he saw first. It's what James always noticed first on Evans. They were as bright as anything and always analyzing their surroundings with a cunning intelligence that rivaled his own. Her emerald eyes widened in astonishment when they met James' own hazel gaze as she turned the corner absentmindedly.

"Potter?"

Evans' voice twinkled like bells, echoing off the stone walls.

When James was growing up, he'd always been taught by his father and grandfather that it was better to not associate with Slytherins. He'd been told that Slytherins were cold, distant and couldn't be trusted. He'd been told time and time again, that nothing good ever came out of Slytherin house. He thought that Slytherin house was where all dark wizards and witches were created, products of their dark magic fueled society. James once compared Slytherins to snakes hiding in the shadows and waiting to strike unsuspecting prey.

Evans had a reputation among the school for being quick witted, popular and coy. She got her way with everything because the teachers adored her and she made Prefect (to no one's bloody surprise). Despite everyone knowing Evans' name and who she was, James only ever saw her with Severus Snape consistently and her loyalty to her old childhood friend was unnerving. Severus Snape worshiped the Dark Arts, James had seen Snape studying the magic more than once in the Library. James didn't trust Snape at all.

Evans also happened to be Slytherin's golden child. Professor Slughorn, Slytherins head of house, absolutely adored Evans and she could do no wrong in his eyes. Everyone always said Evans could murder someone and Slughorn would find a way to get her out of it. She was probably where the term 'teachers pet' originated from.

Of course, James knew Evans from Quidditch. She was a monster on the quidditch pitch and James didn't trust her when he played against her. Off the pitch James only got fired up around her, always ready for her razor sharp wit to rip him to shreds. James knew she was probably still seething that Gryffindor had managed to get the cup for the second year in a row. Evans had (on more than one occasion) called James a lot of names while flying against him in the games.

It was probably a piss poor choice that James wasn't sober the moment he came into contact with her.

"Evans." he swallowed thickly and threw her a big, fake grin, "Long time, no see."

"Potter." Evans' eyes narrowed, she didn't trust his friendly tone, "What are you doing out of your common room past curfew?"

"I could ask the same of you."

"I'm a Prefect." she stared at him, unreadable, "I'm on curfew rounds."

"Oh right," James nodded, "Forgot."

"You forgot I was a prefect?" Lily tilted her head, "Or forgot about curfew?"

Maybe it was the alcohol rushing through his system but everything about Evans was drawing him in. Even the thin frown currently etched on her face didn't deter him from sending her the biggest grin ever. She hadn't expected him and he knew she was startled by coming across him past curfew alone. After all, Evans didn't have magical map that told her James Potter was smuggling stolen firewhiskey from Hogsmeade back into Gryffindor tower for a party that was ongoing after Gryffindor won the quidditch cup.

"Well I'm headed back to the common room now," James said, "No need to give out a detention."

Evans looked like some sort of terrifying angel under the torchlight, "I can't give you a detention; Prefects can only take points."

James didn't wipe the stupid smirk off his face, "No telling what you'd do, since Gryffindor won the Quidditch cup."

Evans' frown thinned to a terse line, "Gryffindor got lucky by _two_ points, Potter."

Evans perceptively raised one of her brows and James saw her eyes flutter quickly to his hands stuffed behind his back. James swallowed thickly as Evans took another step into the room with James and the statue of the humpback witch. The torches in the room made warm flickers of light bounce off Evans' pale face as she slyly slid up next to James. He closed his eyes when he smelled her perfume, she was so close, she had to see the firewhiskey.

He was fucked, she was still bitter about Gryffindor winning the quidditch cup. His rival was going to march him right to a Professor for a months worth of detention, reveling in the power move. She was a Slytherin, for crying out loud. A member of the house that pumped out bad witches and wizards left and right. They were basically sworn enemies and she'd never let him go.

And then, Evans hummed a small laugh unexpectedly.

James cracked an eye open to find her reaching behind him with a little sneer. She grabbed one of the bottles out of his case and held it up to her face. The liquid sloshed inside the bottle as she wiggled it in front of their faces.

"Firewhiskey." she commented slightly, as if she hadn't found illegal booze in James' hands, "I thought you smelled particularly, _festive_."

Both of James' eyes were open now. Evans was turned towards his shoulders and if he turned his head anymore their noses would be touching. The orange firelight from the torches turned Evans into a golden edged siren, sent upon James to fuck with his mind. She stopped looking at the bottle, lowering it only to find James staring at the curve of her neck. She froze like a doe in a clearing that had spotted danger.

James had looked at Lily Evans every day for six years. They'd shared the same classes and ate the same meals every day. They went to the same quidditch games and rode the same train every year. They saw each other in the courtyard at least once a week. All of these things and yet, James had never noticed the slight pattern of light freckles that dotted across her nose. His eyes traced the patterns like they were a key to a puzzle he wanted to solve.

"Want a drink?" he breathed the only thing he could think of, inviting her to spend more time looking at him with her particularly wide eyes.

Evans looked away from James, glancing down at the bottle in her hand and then back up at James, "don't let anyone else catch you with these." she said, "Kip Gansely is patrolling a corridor above and he'd look for any excuse to give you over to a teacher."

"Thanks." James breathed, not believing his luck.

She turned on her heel and walked away swiftly from him, one of his bottles of firewhiskey in her hand. James saw her fingers were clasped around the bottle like it was going to fall from her gasp if she loosened her grip at all. Evans' knuckles were as white as snow. Her hair was swinging dramatically across her shoulders and she practically jogged away from him. Just for a fleeting second though, she looked back at him and she smiled.

Evans might as well have sent a stunner in James' direction.

He kept a wide berth from her the rest of the school year, determined to not stare at her in a way that could be perceived as anything else but distaste. No one seemed to notice the way James would sit in the front of the classroom so he couldn't gaze at the back side of her head. Sirius, Remus and Peter were blissfully unaware that whenever a group of Slytherins passed them in the hall, James' eyes lingered a little too long on Lily Evans. James noted that she hung out mainly with two Ravenclaws and her Slytherin dorm mate but, always in the shadows of the girls, Severus Snape lurked. He was like a guard dog, warding off any unwelcome looks from people like James.

James didn't like when he also noticed that Theo Knott hung out with Evans' small squad of girls. He wondered if Knott and Evans were a thing after James saw Knott staring at Evans a couple of times in classes but later, he saw Knott's name with Greengrass' name in a broom closet together on the Marauders Map. Knott only followed Evans because of Greengrass.

Snape was the only one who appeared to be the closest Slytherin to Evans.

James didn't see Evans around anyone else. In fact, According to the map, she spent a lot of time alone out on the grounds or inside the charms classroom.

When Evans passed James on the train home for the summer holidays, he saw her look up at him with a certain sort of intelligence that made his heart skip a beat. Severus Snape, always at her side, took her elbow and led her away before she could say anything. When Evans' shoulder brushed James' in the small hallway as Snape pulled her past, he swore he heard saw her smile flicker when their eyes met for the briefest of seconds.

James pressed himself to spend the summer forgetting about the red-haired witch. Instead, he and Sirius focused on other passions.

It was a normal summer, far away from Hogwarts. They went camping during one full moon. Running wild across the moors under the moonlight was the highlight of James' summer. Sometimes, James and Sirius went into Diagon Alley for ice cream with their mum. Sirius got a tattoo with Remus while Peter and James watched.

Sirius had bought a muggle motorbike and was restoring it during the day while James practiced quidditch in the back field. At night, both of the boys went off adventuring in the small local town with Peter and Remus. They spent a lot of time visiting pubs and convincing bartenders they were old enough to drink. He also got his first kiss from a pretty muggle girl under a table at the bar. James kept busy during the summer but, sometimes, he found his mind drift back to freckles and red hair.

The weird visions of her smile at night ate away at James until one afternoon he blurted out his worries while Sirius meddled with his bike.

"You know Evans, right?"

Sirius wiped his greasy hands on his muggle jeans, "the ginger prefect in Slytherin?"

"Yeah," James pretended to be looking at a comic so that Sirius wouldn't think James was too invested in the conversation, "the Slytherin seeker."

"Ugh." Sirius huffed, "Why on Earth would you be thinking about _her_? Of all people."

"She's got a nice smile." James' voice cracked.

Sirius looked at James over the seat of his bike, "My cousin Narcissa has a nice face too, but that doesn't mean she's a decent human being."

"Evans seems decent."

"Oh Merlin, James," Sirius shook a wrench knowingly in James' direction, "Don't you dare, especially since she's the one witch in all of Hogwarts who is best mates with _Snivellus_."

James' hand shot to his hair, ruffling it nervously, "No, yeah, I get that. But I talked to her at the end of term and she doesn't seem normal."

"Of course, she's not normal." Sirius scoffed, "She's a _Slytherin_."

"I meant normal for a Slytherin."

"She's as Slytherin as they come." Sirius muttered moodily, "Haughty. Short tempered. Hangs out with all those pureblood idiots. It's disgusting. Prongs, she's gonna marry Snape one day and they're going to have eighteen little greasy-haired Slytherin brats that'll end up as worthless as their father."

"What makes you think she'd marry Snape?" James neck was red, embarrassed at having started the conversation since it went downhill so fast.

"Evans and Snape have been attached at the hip since first year."

James felt sick now, "Right."

Sirius quirked a brow, "Did you conjure some alter-ego-fantasy of Evans while you were wanking?"

"No," James shot back resentfully, "She let me go when I snuck in past curfew with alcohol, I thought maybe she might be cool."

"She's _not_ cool." Sirius said firmly, "people only like her because she's not entirely unattractive and can catch a ball in her hands every once in a while."

"Or maybe," James suggested, "because she seems decent?"

"Decent people don't hang out with future Death Eaters." Sirius sounded tired of the conversation already, "You're being stupid, Prongs."

"I heard she helped Mary MacDonald in the loo, after the whole Mulciber thing."

"You know Evans _dated_ Mulciber, right?" Sirius looked angry that they were even having the conversation, "She'd slept with half of Slytherin house. Everyone knows that Evans and Greengrass are gold diggers."

James said sourly, "and all those blokes pissing in the loo can talk, but I don't think Severus Snape would be okay with Evans sleeping around."

"Yeah he does have some weird moronic claim over her." Sirius agreed, "but they've known each other longer than you and I have."

"Yeah." James' shoulders dropped, "I know but-"

"You and I both know exactly what Snape's about." Sirius said, warning in his tone, "He's dark, James. Anyone around him can't be good."

James sighed, "I don't know why I even brought her up. I guess I just thought maybe she was kinder. Maybe she could be like your cousin, Andromeda."

"She's not like Andy. Evans' kindness is fake; she's manipulative." Sirius used his sleeve to clean a spot on the side of his bike, "Evans is just trying to make herself look good in front of the Professors because she's a Prefect."

James grumpily kicked at the ground, "Don't you mean Head Girl?"

"Ugh," Sirius pulled an expression of great distaste, "Don't tell me she applied for Head Girl."

James nodded, "I saw her name on the list when I signed up."

"I swear to Merlin, if _Evans_ gets Head Girl then I'm dropping out of Hogwarts." Sirius swore, "And I'm taking you with me."

Euphemia Potter, James and Sirius' mother, had walked into the old garage at that exact moment carrying a stack of old dinner plates. Euphemia sent Sirius a long look, confusion written on her dark face as she set the plates on a desk by James.

"You're not dropping out of Hogwarts, young man," Euphemia, who adopted Sirius from his stupid family when he was fifteen, was a no-nonsense mother with a heart of gold, "I want to see you _both_ graduate."

"Mum, tell James that all Slytherin's are the reincarnation of Grindlewald."

"Sirius!" Euphemia snapped at Sirius, warning him, "do not joke about that."

Sirius shamefacedly lowered his head, "Sorry mum."

Euphemia straightened her back and looked between both her boys disparagingly, "Grindlewald was a terrible wizard and nothing to joke about. Especially not with the recent politics."

"Yes mum." James and Sirius said in unison.

Euphemia crossed her arms, "We need kindness more than ever. Love your neighbor, Sirius, even if you don't agree with them."

Sirius grumbled, "Mum, the Slytherin's are the reason for the war!"

"No, Voldemort is the reason why there's another war." Euphemia wiped her brow, "Sirius, you of all people should know that a person's house or family name does _not_ define who they are as a person."

Sirius didn't say anything else. In fact, he looked embarrassed after Euphemia scolded him. James' mother came to James next, brushing his black curls from his eyes before placing a swift kiss on his forehead. With her orange headscarf, she looked like she was glowing under the golden lights of the shack as she pressed her long nails into James' cheek.

"Why all this negative talk about Slytherin?" James' mum asked, "have you been talking to your father again?"

James' father hated Slytherins almost as much as James. Fleamont Potter always said that most of the bullying in his early school years came from the green robes. James' mom always argued with James' dad about influencing James with old prejudices.

"No," James said so his mum wouldn't yell at his dad, "I was just asking Sirius about this Slytherin girl in our year."

"She's a fucking—" Euphamia quickly shot Sirius a warning that made him falter, "I meant...she's not that great."

Euphemia opposed, "I have lots of friends who were in Slytherin."

"Yeah but you are a _Hufflepuff_ ," Sirius said with a snort.

"So?"

"it's impossible for you to hate anyone, mum."

"Wrong." Euphemia ruffled James' hair as she tried to teach her boys a lesson, "there was this Ravenclaw witch named Angelica in my year and I absolutely hated her. She used to soak the edges of my scarves in her ink pots."

"What'd you do about it?" James asked him mum wonderingly, knowing she had a gutsy side.

Euphemia grinned, "I took my pot of dragon dung in Herbology and dumped it on her head."

James raised his hand to high-five his mum, "Nice going mum!"

"And yet you grounded me for a week when I poured honey and stuck feathers all over James when he chickened out of getting a tattoo." Sirius commented dryly from behind Euphemia.

James hissed, "You dared me to get a monarch _butterfly_ on my _arse_."

"I don't know why you agreed, if you were going to chicken out!"

James rolled his eyes at his adopted brother, "I didn't think you were serious!"

"I'm always Sirius!"

Euphemia groaned at his joke.

Euphemia stood up taller, straightening her robes as she addressed Sirius, "you are _so_ lucky we adopted you. Walburga would've murdered you by now just for your awful jokes."

" _Mum_ , you take that back, my puns are the best!"

"Please," James shook his head at his brother, "You learned all your jokes from me."

Slytherins and girls with red hair pushed aside, as James and Sirius began a Joke War. James was distracted by his mother laughing until tears poured from her eyes as her sons tried to one-up each other. He secretly savored the change in subjects.

At the end of the day, Sirius was right, Evans' reputation preceded any good deed she'd possibly done. After all, she surrounded herself with dark wizards that openly campaigned to join Voldemort's side in the war once they left Hogwarts. Letting James off the hook once was in no way an excuse to see Evans as anything other than the garden snake among the cobras.

There was a reason James and Evans didn't have any mutual friends; prejudices ran as deep as blood.

They were like oil and water, unable to be mixed together because they were just too different from one another.

Evans was forgotten until James went to a Swift Broomsticks concert in the depths of wizarding London at the end of the summer. The concert was being held in a underground bar where smoke clung to James' clothes and his shoes stuck to the dirty floor. Euphemia had bought the tickets for Sirius and James as an early Christmas gift. James was having the time of his life, listening to his favorite songs with his friends. The guitar and drums made James' ears pound as he screamed the lyrics alongside Sirius, Remus and Peter. They'd gotten floor tickets and the bass shook the boys all the way down to their toes. They were all in awe, finally seeing their favorite wizard rock band in concert.

Music was James' favorite thing. The way the melodies could transform his mood inspired him. The way lyrics would stay stuck in his head for days at a time was therapeutic. Low croons and high notes sent goosebumps rising across his arms and reminded James that there was more than just physical magic in the world. Sensory magic had an extra zing that James felt all the way to his toes.

James only saw Evans after he stood up on his chair, cheering for a particular song loudly. He happened to look two rows down and spotted Evans among the rest of the concert goers. She was wearing a black set of robes that matched the woman next to her. They were both dancing in their own seats, twirling so that their robes shined almost metallically against the lights. James almost got the wind knocked from his lungs when he recognized Evans as she turned in her chair gracefully.

Evans was there with the only other Slytherin witch her age, a pureblood called Amelia Greengrass. James knew Greengrass was one of Evans' closer friends, they were often together at Hogwarts. They were holding hands as they danced along to the heart-pounding music. Severus Snape was nowhere to be found but that didn't surprise James, Snape didn't seem like a wizard rock type of person. Snape preferred having fun torturing muggleborns with his fellow future Death Eaters.

James wondered, again, what Evans thought of Snape's involvement in dark magic.

James tried to enjoy the music without letting his eyes wander down the rows to where Evans stood. He tried to focus on the lyrics but that only made it worse when the lead singer crooned about a witch that looked like nothing but trouble when she walked into his life.

When the first set ended, James watched Evans leave Greengrass and pass by his seat. She didn't notice James or the other students she went to school with. Evans had her eyes trained on a bar at the back of the large cement-walled room being used as a concert venue. James shouldn't have left his mates, but Remus, Peter and Sirius didn't seem to even notice when James slipped away because they were too busy arguing if the band had replaced their drummer.

From behind, Evans' hair was swinging across her shoulders and frizzy from her wild dancing.

James managed to catch up to her and when he placed a hand on her pale shoulder he said, "Where're you heading?"

She spun quizzically, warning written all over her face. She was about to tell off the stranger who had grabbed her but when Evans' eyes matched his, her frown turned into a wide smile that could've knocked any self-respecting bloke off his feet. With her red stained lips, she was nothing but trouble and he didn't even care. He pushed back every nasty thing he'd ever heard about her in favor of her smile.

She really was gorgeous.

"Oh, it's you!" she was also drunk, he could tell by the red splash across her cheeks that glowed every time the flashing disco lights lit up her face, "I didn't recognize that accent!"

James asked, taken aback, "What accent?"

"You sound Welsh!" she burst into laughter, shaking her head as if he puzzled her.

"I am Welsh. Half." James hoped he hadn't picked up his dad's thicker accent while he was home for the summer, "Potter side is all west country."

She wrinkled her nose like a mouse, it was cute, "West country suits you, Potter."

"I wasn't aware I spoke differently at school." he stated, confused as to why she looked him up and down with her glassy eyes.

Evans pretended to ponder before nodding her head up and down, "I honestly don't listen much when you talk."

James furrowed his brow, "Really?"

"You talk too much." Evans screwed up her whole face now, "and it gets a bit ridiculous."

"I'm ridiculous?" James scoffed, "You're drunk, Evans."

"Whatever you say, _West Country_."

"I can't believe you're making fun of my accent, right now."

Evans, definitely intoxicated, laughed as if he'd said the funniest thing in the world. James had never seen her so relaxed, so warm. There was something distinctly _summer_ about Evans. It was like she glowed like a mature Phoenix under the red lighting above their heads. James continued staring at her, thrown off balance by her cool and mellow attitude. She stopped laughing but her smile was still wide and uncontrolled.

He finally realized what was so different about her; she looked _happy_.

"So," James shouted over the music, wanting to keep her smile shining in his direction, "How'd you get alcohol?"

Her smile widened, if that was even possible, "The bartender keeps giving Amelia and I free firewhiskey!"

"Think he'll have one for me?"

"No," she laughed again, it was like she couldn't keep her laughs reigned in, "But I'll give you my next one!"

James was flabbergasted when she took his hand like they were friends, and led him through the crowds to the bar. She was wearing pretty robes that he'd never seen her wear before. They were short on her, coming up to her ankles. That's how James knew she'd borrowed it, still, she looked comfortable.

"You look happy!" he shouted over the loud prerecorded music still filling the hall from the speakers.

"Because I _am_ happy." She observed ingeniously.

"Why?"

"I love summertime. The music. The food. Plus, no school!"

"No school." James sighed dreamily, "Honestly, McGonagall's summer essay made me feel like I'd never left school!"

"Did you finish it?" Evans knitted her eyebrows together, "I've still got at least ten inches to go on mine and I have half a mind of just not doing it."

"I did finish it." James said, "But I cheated and wrote in larger script to take up extra space."

"Diabolical." she looked impressed, "I don't know why I didn't think of that!"

"What would you like now, puppet?" an older bloke with a wicked beard appeared behind the bar, flashing Evans a smile.

James saw annoyance flash across her face at the affectionate term uttered by the barkeep. Still, she kept a smile on her face the whole time.

"I told you, my name is Lily!" she said to the barkeep, "One Firewhiskey and a water, please."

Evans placed her hand on her cheek, flashing her eyelashes, flirting. James was reminded of Sirius' warning and he glanced over his shoulder. He hoped none of his mates, _especially_ Sirius, came looking for him. Sirius would likely beat him. Meanwhile, Evans was still working her looks in her favor. The barkeep was stolen immediately by the sight of her pretty eyes.

"Whatever you'd like, puppet."

Evans spelled out her name sweetly, "L-i-l-y."

" _Poppet_." the man winked at her and Evans' shoulders squared.

James jumped to the rescue and sidled up next to Evans, catching the barkeeps attention. James tossed a hand onto Evans' shoulder, pulling her closer with a grin. The barkeep hissed under his breath as he turned away. Evans turned on her heel to stare up at James with her dazzling eyes.

"Smooth, Potter." she said, "But I can handle it."

James lifted his arm off her shoulder, earning himself a thankful sidestep from Evans. She wasn't looking at James, in fact it looked like she was trying to hide her face from him. Evans did look young, her face still had the curves of a kid but something about her eyes left a lasting impression. James knew why she had so many admirers and (if the rumors were right) boys in her life. She'd conquer anything she set her mind too, James was certain of that.

The barkeep finally gave Evans a firewhiskey and her water. Evans beamed at the barkeep, gushing about how nice it was of him to give her more water, because she was famished.

"It's all free," the barkeep vowed, "Just come back and see me after the show, yeah?"

"Deal." Evans promised, wholeheartedly, before turning to James.

"So," James waited to ask until they were back among the sea of concert goers, "Are you going to go see him again, _puppet_?"

Evans snorted as she passed him the firewhiskey by shoving it into his stomach passive aggressively, "I don't fancy snogging him, or his beard."

James took a swing of her free firewhiskey, the liquid stinging his throat as it went down. Evans drank her cup of water as they waited for a group of people to move so they could continue back down to the stage.

"How is your summer going?" she asked conversationally when it appeared, they wouldn't be moving anytime soon.

"It's good," James felt so weird, talking to her like they were friends, "Yours is going well?"

"Alright." She said airly, before swirling the water in her cup, "thanks for asking."

"Do you like the band?" he asked.

"Love them," she grinned his way, "the lead singer is my husband."

James knew she was kidding so he added his own playful quip, "Yeah, and my girlfriend is the giant squid."

Evans laughed, James was certain he'd never heard her laugh so much in his entire life. It was so weird to be talking to her normally, without any teasing or arguing. It almost felt like he was in an alternate universe, one where they weren't rivals.

James cleared his throat as he tried to think of something, _anything else_ to say to her, but the crowd moved and so did they. Evans waved at James considerately as she made her way back to her spot next to Amelia Greengrass. James watched Evans say something to Greengrass. Greengrass turned her pretty blue eyes to the back of the house, straight at James. Greengrass' gaze was sharp and unwelcoming, reminding James that he was unpopular among the other Slytherins.

James could only prank the entire Slytherin house and beat them in quidditch so many times before he was indicted as their sworn enemy. James knew no one in Slytherin particularly liked him, especially some of the bratty future Death Eaters. James hated most of them because of their fascination for the dark arts and pureblood mania. While Greengrass wasn't as outspoken as her fellow Slytherins, she certainly made sure James knew he wasn't welcome to come talk to her or Evans for the remainder of the concert.

James didn't miss when Evans looked over his way, her expression soft and curious. Compared to Greengrass, Evans was radiating warmth and nothing but welcoming. Even as she danced in the dark concert with her friend, Evans radiated summer sunshine. Everytime the moving spotlights hit Evans' hair she seemed to glow in a way that set her apart from Greengrass. Evans screamed the lyrics like James and laughed into Greengrass' shoulder as she jumped up and down to the beats of the drum.

This Evans was nothing like the competitive Slytherin seeker he knew at Hogwarts.

Right now, under the beams of multi colored lights and among the sea of bodies, she was somebody James wanted to be friends with.


	3. Gorgeous (Part 2)

**Chapter 3:**

_There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have,_

_Guess I'll just stumble on home to my cats, alone._

"The Swift Broomsticks are amazing!"

Lily turned back to Amelia hastily, not wanting to be caught inspecting Potter as he spoke to his mate Black two rows back. Amelia was clapping ardently as the Swift Broomsticks, led by Amos Heller, took their final bow after playing an hour and a half of wizard rock hits. Lily clapped too, standing on her tiptoes to see over the head of the person in front of her as the band started to make their way behind the stage. The concert had been great, Lily had enjoyed every single song the Swift Broomsticks played. The only problem, really, was the Gryffindor boy sitting two rows behind Lily.

Amelia had already told Lily not to mind Potter, but Lily couldn't help and glance back to look at him, once or twice. He'd always been like an aggravating little itch in her side, they were Quidditch rivals after all. He looked for every chance to antagonize Lily about her flying and she was ready to battle his wits no matter the time of day.

Tonight's interaction at the bar during the concert had been different.

Lily had been flabbergasted when he'd come up to her in the middle of the concert and grabbed her shoulder like they were old mates. She hadn't been expecting James Potter, of all people, to be at the underground bar listening to a wizard rock band that catered to witches. When he'd startled her, she'd turned, never expecting to see his shadowy face shining whever the multicolored lights hit his tan skin. She didn't expect her smile, normally reserved, to break across her face like he was her favorite person on Earth.

She had acted like they were old friends who hadn't seen each other in months.

Lily tried to tell herself she'd just gotten caught up in the moment. After all she'd had four firewhiskey's and Potter had been smiling back at her. She tried to shake it off, the feeling that they might actually be friends, but every time she glanced back at Potter during the concert she couldn't help wondering if, somewhere along their weird relations, they had become friends.

After all, Lily in fourth year would've told James to piss off the minute he came up with her with his charming grin. Lily tried to convince herself that she'd given Potter her extra firewhiskey as payback for the time she nicked one from him months back in school. She tried to convince herself that there was nothing wrong with being polite to someone who you'd known since you were eleven, no matter the history.

Lily turned once more slowly. Her eyes caught his when the concert lights flashed on to end the concert and she smiled cordially, in a way that could be perceived as friendly. Potter smiled back, looking at her over the rim of his black glasses. She didn't know what about that smile confused her so, but she had a feeling it had something to do with their thorny history.

After all, Potter had tormented Severus for years just because he could. He had also called Lily every version of snake on Earth during their bickering on the Quidditch field. Potter's snide remarks about her flying were never asked for, and he had a habit of ruffling his hair whenever she walked past him to make it look like he'd just gotten off a broomstick.

All this, and yet Lily still couldn't resist staring at the back of Potter's head as Amelia led the way to the exit doors. He had one arm slung around his mate Black's shoulder and they were laughing loudly. Lily recognized his laugh, it was the same one he used quite often at school. She's never known a person who laughed as much as Potter laughed and sometimes Lily wished she were as happy as Potter seemed to be.

Lily looked sideways at Amelia, who was one of her closest friends in the fashion that they spent a lot of time together. In school they shared a room, and, in the summer, they shared walks in Diagon Alley. Ever since Amelia had started dating Theo Knott though, Lily and Amelia hung out less and less. The concert was the first thing they girls had enjoyed alone together in almost a month.

As much fun as Amelia could be, especially out in public, Lily's best friend title fell to Severus Snape. Sev had, after all, spent the last seven years keeping Lily safe from her own housemates. After all, Sev was the only one who knew Lily was muggleborn. As much as Lily would've liked to have told Amelia, Lily knew Amelia's parents would never let them hang out if they knew Lily's blood status. In fact, a lot of Lily's current friends would have to stop talking to her.

Black, Potter and the other two mates were leaning up against the side of the building outside. Lily wouldn't have even looked in their direction had it not been for the cool orange lights that fell over them, lighting the boys up like a marquee sign. Potter's eye caught hers first and she felt another flicker of a smile pass her lips as she raised a hand to wiggle three fingers in his direction.

"Like the concert, Evans?" he called out to her and Amelia stopped in her tracks, noting who was talking to Lily.

"Yeah," was her high-pitched response, since he'd apparently rendered her brain incapable of producing thought.

_That was new._

Black scowled, "watch out Prongs, they're probably looking for some new gold to fuck with."

"If we were, we certainly wouldn't be talking to the likes of you," Amelia said snottily to Black, "Rumor has it that you're burned from your family tapestry since you got kicked out for being a muggle lover."

Pettigrew spoke up, protective of his friend, "He actually ran away."

"Best day of my life, that was." Sirius raised his joint in the air, like he was raising a glass of champagne to make a speech, "Bless dear old mummy, for hating me enough to burn me off the family tree."

"Why would you ever want your family to hate you so much?" Lily asked, horrorstruck.

"Because Evans," Black's snicker was dark as his cool grey eyes looked Lily up and down with repulsion, "Unlike you, I don't care what people think about me."

Lily was so taken aback, her hostile glare settled into a puzzled stare. Lupin, the supposed werewolf according to Severus, was laughing into a bag of opened crisps. Pettigrew, always watchful, surveyed out the street with a vacant expression. Lily made her eyes stay on Black, keeping her chin up so that she didn't seem alarmed around him.

"I don't care what people think of me."

"Bullshite."

"Lily," Amelia said swiftly, forcing Lily to turn her back to the boys.

"Yeah?"

"Look." Amelia was astonished, she clutched Lily's elbow and pointed through the retreating crowd.

Lily's eyes scanned through the mass of bodies and a man with a curtain of pitch-black hair caught her eye immediately. Severus was walking towards Amelia and Lily, on a mission. Astonished at the immediate arrival of her best friend, Lily hung back a second before she walked forward and accepted a hug from Sev when he held out his arms to her.

"What are you doing here?" Lily probed nosily as she pulled away from Sev, "I told you it was a girl's night."

Sev didn't answer her. Instead he was focused deeply on something behind Lily. She knew exactly what had made his expression shift so rapidly. Potter and his mates were probably still hanging out on the wall of the concert venue. Lily felt Sev tug her a little closer and she eyed him curiously. She noted that he was holding himself taller too, black eyes narrowed.

Suddenly Amelia let out an excited cry that broke Sev from his trance, "Theo!"

"Hey babe!"

Theo Knott was next to appear, he had yes only for Amelia. After Knott, the face of a man Lily had been hoping she'd never see again emerged. Lily's teeth clamped together, and she had to square her shoulders hastily, modifying herself so that she stood up straight instead of slouched over in Sev's hold. Mason Mulciber was eyeing Lily with glittering black eyes that screamed trouble.

"You didn't tell me Mulciber was going to be here." Lily hissed into Sev's ear, "You know I can't stand him, Sev."

Sev shrugged nonchalantly, "Play nice, I already asked him to do the same with you."

"How do I play nice with him? He's like a mountain troll personified."

" _Lily_." Sev cautioned and Lily kicked Sev's ankle in response.

Theo was close enough now that Amelia jumped into his awaiting arms and snogged him like they hadn't seen each other in months instead of a few days. Mulciber pulled himself to a stop in front of Lily and Sev, black eyes glowing as they traced the way Sev's arm was draped over Lily's shoulder. Lily didn't dare let herself look defenseless when his gaze reached her hard face.

"Well," Mulciber said, "I guess if you weren't willing to shag me, Severus is better than nothing."

Everyone laughed. Severus went rigid and Lily bit her tongue as she feverishly tried to come up with a retort that wouldn't start an all-out brawl. Mulciber was smiling at Lily with a devious grin that Lily wanted to hex off his face. Avery, Mulciber's right hand man, stood tall behind his friend, wearing a bottle green cloak. Another wizard Lily didn't know looked Lily up and down with greedy eyes as they came to a stop behind Mulciber.

"She's gorgeous." the man said, "Is she yours, Sev?"

" _His_?"

"This is Lily," Severus said, cutting Lily off effortlessly, "she's having a drink with us tonight."

"I already drank enough," Lily quickly unraveled herself from the situation, "And I want to go home."

Now that she'd seen Mulciber and Avery, all Lily wanted to do now was get back into her bed and curl up with her cat. At least Juniper wouldn't ever look at Lily like a piece of meat. She looked at Lily for cat treats but that was to be expected because she was the fattest black cat Lily had ever seen. Lily had tried putting Juniper on a diet in fifth year, but Juniper protested the diet by almost drowning herself in the Great Lake to get herself the tuna that Lily was no longer providing. Needless to say, Juniper never went on a diet again.

"Don't leave." Sev said, "We're only going to Dittany."

"I want to go see my cat." Lily said, "She needs to eat."

"Your cat can live a few more hours without you." Amelia looked unimpressed by Lily's excuse, knowing Juniper personally.

Lily didn't know why, but in that moment she looked over her shoulder. She looked to see if Potter was watching. She was disappointed to find that Potter had left. Only Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew were still there, watching as they smoked a joint. Black sent her the finger. Lily felt her face flame as she turned back to Sev and his mates. Amelia stared at Lily tranquilly from inside Theo Knott's tight hold.

"Come on Lily," Amelia implored, "Let's get one more drink, it'll be fun."

Lily looked at her friend, wishing more than anything Amelia had a bit more decency as a friend. Amelia knew Lily hated Mulciber, especially after he'd stolen her first kiss in Hogsmede over fifth year. Lily wanted nothing more than for Mulciber to graduate and disappear but unfortunately, Mulciber liked to linger like a very unpleasant cough.

"Lily," Theo begged too, "Don't leave Amelia, it's girls' night."

"We can have fun, even with the boys here." Amelia agreed.

"To be clear." Lily said, her voice rising unstably, "I don't find anything fun about this crowd."

Mulciber and his cronies raised their brows sardonically at Lily's voice but Sev had the audacity to laugh as if she'd told a joke. Amelia, copying Sev's lead, giggled too, rolling her eyes. Lily glared at her dorm mate from school as Sev smacked Lily's shoulder.

"Isn't Evans a riot?" Snape asked out loud, making it seem like Lily had been jesting.

"I'm hilarious." Lily made sure Severus saw her death glare.

Sev pretended not to notice she was burning him alive in her dreams.

"Bit prickly if I do say so myself." Mulciber's eyes hadn't left Lily the whole time, his black eyes glistened dangerously, "What's the matter Evans? Still think you're too good for us?"

"I know I'm too good for you, Mulciber." Lily shot back.

"Let's go to Dittany." Snape announced as he squeezed Lily's elbow in warning, "Malfoy and Shawn are already there."

Snape led the way, dragging Lily along forcibly. Lily protested almost immediately. She felt Black and Pettigrew's eyes follow them as they walked away from the concert venue. Now Lily wished she really were at home in bed with her cat.

"I don't want to go." Lily hissed at Sev, yanking her wrist from his grasp, "I _hate_ him, Sev. Why'd you have to bring him along?"

"I didn't." Sev said, "Knott knew you were here with Greengrass and wanted to pick her up."

"You could've said we were going to go home." Lily pinched his side, "We don't have to go to Dittany."

"I have to go." Sev disagreed.

"No, you don't."

"I do Lily," Sev snapped and then he back stepped when he gathered, he'd raised his voice at her, "Just come, please? I'll pay for your drinks and I promise we won't stay too long."

"Why do you have to go?" Lily asked as her heels hit the pavement brashly, "It's not like any of these blokes have anything _important_ to talk about."

"They do." Sev disagreed, "and if I don't show up to these things, that could be bad for our names."

"I could care less about what they think." Lily said venomously, "The only other one I like is Knott and even he's an arse half the time."

"Just stick with Greengrass at Dittany." Sev said, "She'll probably be as bored as you."

"You make that sound like it's better." Lily huffed.

Lily was preparing to drink whatever alcohol she could smuggle from the bar or trick off of strangers when she entered the old bar called Dittany. It was only a few blocks down from the concert but Lily's feet still hurt as she crossed the short distance from the door to the bar. Lily recognized all sorts of Hogwarts students, old and current. A few Ravenclaws she knew from herbology club waved from the end of the bar when they spotted Lily. Sev tugged Lily along until they made it to the back of the pub where one familiar face was waiting. Malfoy, one of their old housemates, was sitting at a table with a smoking goblet. He wore dark clothes that contrasted his silver-blonde hair significantly.

"Well, Evans and Snape!" Malfoy smiled handsomely like a Politian, "Nice to see you both."

Lily nodded curtly as Mulciber and his mates quickly filed into their own seats. Severus let go of Lily's arm to slide into the booth. Lily tried to follow but Theo pushed her back with a grin and slid into the seat, leaving Lily and Amelia standing.

"Would you look at that." Lily said satirically, "All the men leaving the woman to stand."

"Don't be sour, Evans." Mulciber smirked at her, "There's always room on my lap."

Lily's frown deepened, "I'd sooner snog a fish."

The entire table laughed. Lily simultaneously rolled her eyes and crossed her arms as Mulciber whistled sinisterly at her sharp retort. Severus didn't look very pleased at Lily's suggestion and stuck his nose into the menu.

"Come on," Amelia tucked her hand under Lily's elbow to drag Lily away, "let's get you a drink."

"Yes, please."

Amelia paid for Lily, despite Lily's protests. The girls sat at two free bar stools, staying away from the back table where all the boys had their heads bent together in discussion. Lily sipped her whiskey, crossing her legs as music echoed around the pub from a band set up by the open door. Vines of dittany fell from the ceiling and curled to the middle of the pub where a small dance floor held couples and friends dancing to the music. It was a popular spot among witches and wizards simply because it was close to one of the entrances to the Ministry of Magic.

Lily knew Sev was here a lot with his mates. She'd been a couple of times herself but never at night. There were a lot of witches and wizards crammed into a small space. Lily could barely hear Amelia over the other voices rumbling together over music.

"Do you know why they all had to meet?" Amelia asked Lily.

Lily turned and saw Amelia's eyes were lingering on Theo in the back of the pub, talking with the other wizards. Severus was silent, not speaking, instead he was staring at his butterbeer darkly. Lily knew that face very well and knew Sev was deep in concentration. Lily tightened her lips as she examined the faces of the other boys and saw they were all acting as if they were gossiping first years.

"No." Lily admitted finally to Amelia, "but I reckon whatever it is, it's boring as Hell."

Amelia played with her new drink before admitting out loud, "Theo always wants me to come with him to all these meetings with his mates but I hate it because they kick me out of the room eventually."

"I _like_ when we don't have to be around them." she said, "the less I see them, the better."

Amelia quirked her brow, "Severus?"

"No," Lily shook her head, "Sev's different."

Amelia grinned, "Different as in, romantic?"

Lily sniggered and shot her old friend a look, "Severus? He's like a brother?"

Amelia took a sip from her glass before saying curtly, "Are you sure?"

"Amelia. No."

"You make it sound impossible but you two have known each other since before Hogwarts and you're both half-bloods."

"No."

Amelia was struggling to remember something else, "You both are also really good at Potions!"

"That doesn't mean we're soulmates!"

"Wasn't he your first kiss?"

"No," Lily kicked at Amelia cheekily, "Kip Gansley was my first real kiss since I don't count the tongue Mulciber shoved down my throat in fifth year."

Amelia wrinkled her nose, "Ugh, that overachieving Ravenclaw over Mason? At least Mason is pureblood."

"Mulciber is no Harrison Ford."

"Who?"

"Never mind."

Lily turned red, realizing she'd let slip a muggle actor's name. Amelia didn't notice Lily's flush thanks to the boy who had just walked up to the both of them. He was handsome, with green eyes and dark colored hair that framed his forehead. He had on nice slacks and a white button up shirt that lacked a top button.

"Fancy a dance?"

Lily raised her glass, "I'm still drinking."

"And I just finished my drink," the boy said, "We already have so much in common."

"Doubtful." Amelia stated coldly next to Lily.

The boy glanced at Amelia before turning back to Lily, "Dance?" he repeated.

"Thank you," Lily told the man, "But I don't want to leave my friend."

He pressed, "Just one dance and your friend can come too."

"My boyfriend wouldn't like that much." Amelia promised the wizard, "He's just over there."

The wizard followed Amelia's finger to the back of the pub where Sev, Knott, and the other wizards were talking to each other with very grave expressions. The wizard's eyes contracted before looking back at Amelia.

"You know them?" he asked in skepticism.

"Yeah," Amelia said, "we all go to Hogwarts together."

The bloke seemed to know some of the boys Sev and Theo were with, Lily could tell. He confirmed this with his next words.

"Not all of you can be from Hogwarts."

"I know it's sort of a shock believing any of them have ever graduated." Lily said cheekily, "Since some of them lack the brainwaves to produce a simple cheering charm let alone apparate."

The bloke chortled, looking Lily up and down favorably, "What's your name?"

"Lily Evans." she reached out to offer him a handshake he took her hand firmly.

"Benjy Fenwick." he said, "Pleasure."

"You were in Hufflepuff." Lily perked up at his name, "I remember hearing your name during quidditch games!"

He grinned, "Yeah!" he said, "I played seeker."

"I'm a seeker, too." Lily leaned forward in her seat animatedly, "What was your catching rate?"

"Eighty-seven percent, what about you?"

"Lily." Amelia spoke up, cutting off Benjy, eyes wide with forewarning, "The boys are looking over here."

Benjy turned back to Lily, "Is your boyfriend over there too?"

"No."

"Is this man bothering you two?" Theo had suddenly appeared, draping an arm around Amelia's shoulder and staring daggers at the other bloke who put up his hands in quick defense.

"No," Benjy stuttered, losing the suave confidence he'd just shown Lily, "Sorry. I didn't know they were with you."

The man stumbled away without glancing back. Lily saw him go to the other side of the bar, taking a seat alone. His ears were scarlet. Lily turned back to Theo, who was still possessively holding Amelia.

"What'd you do that for?"

Theo caught her gaze, "you _wanted_ to keep talking to him?"

"He was harmless, Theo." Lily shot back, "and he was talking to me, not Amelia."

"Harmless." Theo snorted, shooting the man a glare from across the room, "Lily, you really are clueless sometimes. He's a muggleborn."

"How do you even _know_ that?" Lily asked, rolling her eyes.

"Didn't you think it was weird he wasn't wearing robes?"

Lily clenched her jaw, she hadn't even made the connection that most wizards wore robes. Severus had to constantly remind Lily to wear her robes instead of her favorite pair of jeans and a shirt. Muggle clothes were fun, and Lily hated that she had to pack them all away for Hogwarts.

Of course, since Lily had been with her parents all summer, seeing Benjy Fenwick in muggle clothes hadn't even rang a bell in Lily's head. Theo and Amelia stared at Lily, awaiting her reply. Lily chugged the rest of her drink quickly, feeling sick for reasons totally unrelated to the liquor in her system.

"No," Lily finally said, lifting up her drink, "Guess I'm a little drunk."

"Maybe you should lay off the whiskeys." Theo said, "So you don't embarrass yourself and us."

"Fuck off Knott." Lily retorted irritably.

Amelia lifted a brow at Lily but didn't say anything. Severus joined them at the bar moments later, his black eyes were concentrated on Lily, who was clearly uncomfortable. Lily glared at Severus, using eye contact to let him know that it was his fault she was miserable.

"Want to leave?" Sev asked her, already knowing her answer.

Lily's eyes were slits as she replied gloomily, "I was ready to leave since the moment you and your mates showed up at the concert."

Severus took her arm before shooting Knott a look, "We're leaving. See you tomorrow."

Amelia grew instantaneously sour, "Lily! We just got here!"

"Let 'em go, babe." Theo said, pressing his cheek against Amelia's, "We can have some fun without them."

Severus pulled Lily out of the pub and the fresh air hit her like a wall. She felt like shite, but at least she didn't feel sick to her stomach. Severus had removed his hand from her arm and instead, had his wand drawn as they made their way to the bus stop. Lily spotted a clock in the window of a shop and saw that it was almost three in the morning.

"Mum is going to kill me." She groaned, "I told her I'd be back by now."

"You're almost of age," Sev muttered, "your parents should respect that."

"Muggles aren't of age until eighteen," Lily said, "Not seventeen."

"Well you aren't a muggle."

"I _am_ muggleborn." Lily said pointedly, feeling a row growing between them.

"Speaking of," Sev sounded bothered, "You looked like you were having fun with that muggleborn bloke."

"You've got to be kidding." He wasn't, she could tell by the uncomfortable look on his face, "honestly Sev, we were just talking. It's not like I dragged him to the back of the bar and snogged him senseless in front of all those purebloods."

"I know, but Knott and Mulciber were both watching you."

"So?"

"So, it looks bad when you talk to muggleborns so casually."

Lily, exasperated, let out a noise that sounded like a drowning tiger, "I think I deserve one night where I don't have to pretend to be someone that I'm _not_."

"Mulciber already thinks you're a _mud-gle-muggle_ _born_ s ympathizer."

"Because I am a muggleborn sympathizer." Lily stated firmly, "What Mulciber does to muggleborn girls is disgusting Sev-no don't look at me like that. He literally kissed me without consent, imagine what he'd do to a girl he _hated_? Remember Mary MacDonald in fourth year? He raped her!"

"He didn't _rape_ her." Sev said, face inflamed, "Who told you that?"

"Everyone at Hogwarts knows," Lily said crossly, "He'd slept with half of Hogwarts by his graduation. And Avery? Sev, he's so evil. In Potions class he used he'd skin the animals, _alive_."

Severus clearly hated the direction their conversation had taken, "I never said I liked Avery."

"You don't _not_ like Mulciber." Lily pointed out, "Since you looked all buddy with him tonight."

"Mulciber is helping me with this job at the Ministry after I graduate," Sev lamented, "He promised to get me an interview with his boss, okay? That's why I've kept him around."

"I thought you promised _me_ to stop hanging out with them?" Lily queried.

"And I did." he sighed when she sent him a disbelieving look.

"Then what was _that_?" Lily asked, "Come on, Sev, they're all essentially Death Eaters."

Sev bristled at her pointed jab. He knew she'd never let him live it down if he started hanging out with the Voldemort supporters who walked around London torturing muggles and muggleborns alike. Lily chewed on her bottom lip as she awaited Severus' answer. Finally, he spoke.

"I'll stop hanging out with Mulciber and Avery, I promise."

"Well that's easy to say now since we're going back to school and they aren't." Lily garbled crossly.

Sev grew very quiet. They didn't speak again until they'd made it to Lily's front steps. Sev cleared his throat as they stood under the yellow lighting beaming through the windows from inside the house. Lily crossed her arms oversensitively, prepared to fight with Sev again.

"It's not over once you leave Hogwarts, Lily," he said, "you know that you will never be safe if you tell anyone the truth."

"I can't hide behind a blood curtain forever, Sev." Lily tried not to let her voice rise, "My records are in the school files and once I start applying for jobs…people will find out that I'm muggleborn."

"So, don't apply for jobs." Sev reasoned, "Stay at home with your parents until the war is over, like we planned."

"Sev." Lily shook her head, "My parents want me to get a job and get out of Cokeworths."

"Once the war is finished you can do those things." Sev took her hands in his cold ones, "Lily, I've known you since we were kids. You're a great witch. Amazing, smart and talented. Everyone knows that you can and will do great things when you graduate. I want you to have everything you desire but you have to trust me when I say that for right now…this is for the best."

Lily stared down at his pale hands grasping her own desperately, pleading her.

She was balancing on a tightrope.

On one side was her life, precariously planned out like a safety net, ready to catch her from her fall. She would graduate from Hogwarts, a half blood who would disappear for a while...at least until the war was over. Severus was convinced the war wouldn't last much longer. He told Lily that he would get a job and work his way up to the top. He would try to get enough credibility so that whenever the war did end, Sev could get her a job.

Severus really had thought it all out but…

There was the other life, the one without a safety net. The one that would send Lily free falling into the unknown. She could ask Slughorn to help her get an internship at the Ministry's potions department. She could tell everyone she was muggleborn. She could show to the world that she wasn't ashamed to be a minority and that she was proud to be the daughter of Andrea and Scott Evans.

As nice as it would be to break free of the reputation she had built over the last seven years, Lily was understandably worried that once the truth came out, she'd be bullied by both sides.

The muggelborns would hate Lily for pretending to be someone else.

The purebloods would hate Lily for lying and for being herself.

"If I stay." Lily looked back up at Severus anxiously, "You won't leave Cokeworths, right?" she asked, "we'll still be friends, even after school?"

Sev's hooked nose wrinkled when he broadened his smile, "Always."

She managed a smile back too, "I am grateful for you, always looking out for me. I just wish I didn't have to lie to everyone and hold it all in. I mean, Mulciber and Avery spend all their free time bashing my blood. I wish I could tell them off. I _really_ don't like them."

"You don't have too like them or anyone else," Sev insisted, "Just trust that everything I'm doing is to keep us safe."

"You're a real half-blood." Lily mumbled, "You'll be fine."

"Yeah but you _should_ be half blood." Severus said, "It's a shame your parents are muggles."

"No, they're happy with their life." she yearned, "and I am proud to be their daughter...I just...I feel like I'm letting them down sometimes."

"You just need to graduate." Sev vowed, "Once we graduate we can come back to Cokeworths and _everything_ will be back to the way it was when we were kids."

Lily smiled softly and was taken back to long summer days on the playground with a much shorter version of Severus, "it will be nice to spend more time together again."

"Yeah well, it's your fault we don't get to see each other a lot now," Sev accused, "You are the one who took on eighteen different extracurriculars every year."

Lily snorted and placed a hand on her hip, "You know that I hate sitting around."

"Yeah," Sev chuckled and he looked at Lily tenderly, "you have a predisposition for attracting trouble."

"Hey!" Lily punched his arm and he flinched, "I've gotten way less detentions compared to _some_ people in school."

"Like Potter and his stupid mates." Snape scoffed, "I saw them at the concert. Potter couldn't keep his eyes off you, it was disgusting."

"Potter." Lily said, shaking her head humorously, "did you know he's part Welsh?"

"I don't give a damn _what_ he is, quite frankly." Sev muttered, "Considering he's the reason for half of my own detention slips."

Lily rolled her eyes, "I wish you'd been there, I saw him dancing. He looked like an animated cartoon skeleton on the telly." she mimicked robotic dancing, laughing, hoping to get Sev laughing along with her.

She was disappointed to find Sev's dark eyes unamused, "You were watching him?"

"Not like that," she said, "I didn't even know he was there until I offered him my drink."

"You gave him a drink?" Sev looked physically sick.

Lily nodded, "I wasn't going to drink anymore, and I knew the barkeep would give me one, so I gave it to him."

"Why?"

"I don't know," Lily shrugged, "it just seemed like the nice thing to do."

Sev grumbled and fell against one of the steps, "Lily."

"What?" Lily put her hands on her hips, "Look, I know you don't like him, but he's all talk. You know how conceited he is. I just like knocking down his ego."

"By giving him your drink?"

"It was repayment." Lily reminded Sev, "Since I technically stole one from his last year."

Sev's face fell into his hands. Lily sighed and fell onto the step next to him, brushing his shoulder with her hand. She looked out at her fence, left open for Sev to close on his way out. In the house, Lily could hear the TV loudly selling some fancy washing machine.

"So, you've just been drinking around with Potter?" Sev finally spoke up, "Merlin, you do have a death wish."

"Even if I do die, you still have to come to my funeral." Lily chirped.

Sev glared at her, "Lily, he hangs out with an werewolf, an ex-Black and the boy that set fire to the third floor corridor in third year." he counted off deliberately, "if ever there were worse people to be around, it's a couple of blood traitors and their pets."

Lily pulled away from Sev, uneasily, "Blood _what_?"

Sev went red, "Nothing."

"No," Lily stood up formally, "No, it's not nothing, Sev."

"I didn't mean it like that!"

"I see you've started catching Mulciber's slang too." she said coldly.

"Lily, Lily no wait!" Sev grabbed her hand and she shot him a cold and hurt expression, "I'm sorry! It slipped out."

Lily narrowed her eyes, "How long until another one slips out?"

She'd always wondered if Sev had adopted any of the nasty habits their school mates had. She'd just gotten her question answered on the steps of her muggle home. There was something ironic about it all. Lily couldn't help but feel every single fear she'd ever had flutter through her brain the moment she looked down at Severus Snape, her best friend from childhood, using pointed intolerance.

"It won't ever happen again" Sev swore, "I swear, on my grave. Mulciber just got into my head tonight."

Lily took her own hand back, "if I hear anything like that from you again...you're better than them, Sev. That's why I'm your friend, but if you ever say that kind of shit around me again, I won't ever forgive you."

"It was an accident." Sev repeated swiftly, "Potter just gets on my nerves and you mentioned him, and you know that I can't stand him anymore than you can stand Mulciber. After all, Potter attacks me in the hallways all the time for no reason except a laugh."

Lily wrinkled her nose distastefully, "He's still doing that?"

"Of course." Sev said irately, "who else do you know that hexes people for the fun of it?"

Lily turned to the door and grabbed the handle before she said softly, "Mulciber."

She was almost inside when he shouted out very quickly, "See you on September first?"

Lily peeked through the cracked door, "Pick me up at six?"

Sev smiled, relaxed by her even tone, "Yeah, make sure to wear your new Head Girl badge."

Lily smiled, warmth spreading back to her toes, "I haven't gotten the letter yet, Severus."

"You'd better get it," Sev said, "Because with that badge, Potter doesn't stand a chance at getting away with hexing people for fun."

Lily winked, "Damn right."

Lily fell asleep slowly that night and she tossed around until the morning when she woke up to the sound of birds outside her window. Dreams haunted her of Severus dressed in robes like Malfoy, calling her names that turned into tears on her cheeks. Mulciber held a wand to her neck and told her to take off her clothes. Whispers followed Lily, even in her sleep. Echoes of poignant words that Lily feared would one day find her while she was awake.

"Lily!"

Lily opened one eye lazily but buried her head deeper into her feather pillow. Sunlight streamed through the glass of her tiny square window, hitting the open trunk at the base of Lily's small bed. Lily tangled her legs slowly from her covers and managed to sit up just as her mum opened her door, red hair wild around her face. Lily's mum, Andrea Evans, had the smile of an angel and the heart of one too.

Lily looked like a carbon copy of her mother, especially when looking back at old family photo albums. Both women were made up of an average height with long red hair, small light freckles, and green eyes. When Lily looked at her mum it was almost like looking at herself in the mirror after an aging potion. Andrea opened Lily's door all the way so that Lily's fat cat Juniper could slink through and somehow jump up into Lily's lap. Lily grunted as Juniper lay down, placing all fifteen pounds on Lily's thighs.

"Morning mum." Lily yawned as she rubbed her eyes, "What time is it?"

"Half past noon." her mum admonished, "your toast and eggs got cold, so I placed them in the oven."

Lily fell back into her pillow, "I'm sorry, I was exhausted from the concert."

"Well you'll have plenty of time to sleep the rest of this week." Lily's mother reached out, tucking some of Lily's own red hair behind her ear, "and then it's your first, last day of school."

"Don't remind me." Lily mumbled moodily, remembering her dreams.

Lily's mum tittered, reaching out to tap Lily's nose, "Lily Evans, you turn that frown upside down. I still remember how excited you were when you were eleven. You were so ready to go off to brew potions and cast spells."

Lily hummed as she sat up again to wrap her arms around her mum's shoulders before saying, "I know mum, it's just stressful is all."

"Be grateful you got this chance." Andrea kissed Lily's temple, "think of your sister."

Lily's frown returned at the mention of her muggle sister, "I'd rather not."

Lily's mother nudged Lily in the ribs and Lily snickered, lurching away from her mum and almost dropping the poor cat. Lily's mum stood up and looked at Lily's trunk filled with robes at the base of her bed.

"I noticed the other day, your robes looked shorter. Do we need to go to the wizard shopping place?"

Lily's mother turned her concerned green eyes on Lily and Lily felt electricity run up through her spine. Warning sirens went off in Lily's head and Lily immediately began shaking her head no. Lily struggled to fold Juniper into her arms, burying her nose into the black fur to hide her red cheeks. Andrea leaned down to hold up some of Lily's school robes, noting the tattered edges.

"Lily, we might be short on money, but we can buy you some new robes." Andrea said softly.

"Money isn't the problem." Lily wiggled Juniper closer to her face and Juniper wiggled furiously out of Lily's grasp, swatting Lily's red cheeks as she fell back into Lily's lap.

Andrea, having dealt with Lily's oddities for years, merely raised a brow, "what is wrong then?"

"Nothing."

"I'd like to go shopping with you for your last year." Andrea said and Lily felt her heart break, "we went with you in first year and it was so fun, remember?"

Lily wished the bed would swallow her whole. Neither of Lily's parents knew that Lily lied about their heritage to her house mates. When asked, Lily always told people that her parents worked in wizardry book publishing. It was a boring job that no one would question beyond the common polite interest.

"Mum," Lily said deliberately, "You can't go to Diagon Alley with me because- _because_ there was an outbreak."

"An outbreak?"

"Yes," Lily lied quickly, "Uhm, dragon pox. I'm safe because I have the vaccine, but you don't so, you can't go."

Her mother narrowed her eyes warily, "Lily Evans, are you lying to your mother?"

"No," Lily snorted as she continued lying, throwing her arms around her mum so she could hide her own face, "Mum, really. Dragon pox is only a problem in my world. You just wouldn't understand, as a muggle."

Lily's mother returned Lily's hug, keeping her arm firm around Lily's waist, "I hate to miss out." she said, "You'll be graduated and then what?"

"And then I'll come home and live with the both of you until I die." Lily promised, closing her eyes against her mums hug.

"No," Lily's mum squeezed her harder, "you're so good at everything, you're too good to stay in Cokeworths."

"You have to say that." Lily said, "You're my mum."

"You told me that Professor Slughorn wants to get you an internship for potions. You should talk to him."

Lily didn't say anything, she just let her mum hold her a little longer. Finally, Andrea let go of Lily. Andrea's hands were cold as they stroked Lily's cheeks adoringly.

"Proud of you, love-dove." Andrea murmured, "I know it must be hard, entering one world and leaving another every time you leave home, or come home."

Lily felt tears prick her eyes. Even though her mother had no idea about the problems at school, she still tried to help, and Lily appreciated it so much. Lily placed her own hands over her mums' hands, keeping them on her face.

"I love you, mum." Lily said sincerely, "I hope that, if I ever have kids, I'll be half the mum that you are."

Andrea's eyes lit up, "I'll miss you terribly when you're away."

"I'll miss you too, mum." Lily said dejectedly, "I wish you had magic so that you could visit."

"I do too."

Andrea let go of Lily's face and turned away to grab Lily's dirty laundry pile. Lily watched as her mother picked up the laundry. Lily was glad her mother couldn't know why she wasn't allowed to accompany Lily inside the Wizarding World now. Lily was happy that her mother did not know the real reason why Lily never let any of her friends (except Severus) come visit the small flat.

For years, Lily's parents were so proud of Lily for being different and excelling at magic. They applauded her good grades and encouraged her when she wanted to try out for Quidditch. Lily's dad had taken overtime at the bank just so that they could afford to give Lily money for a broomstick. Lily's mother wrote her letters every month detailing her life as if Lily were sitting right next to her at the breakfast table.

As much as Lily loved her parents, they were safer not knowing that their daughter had lied to everyone. They were safer hidden away in Cokeworths, living their normal muggle lives. Lily had already made up her mind that when she graduated, she was going to come home and take a muggle job so she could protect her parents. She'd seen and heard too much to ever believe that they'd be safe.

"This came for you in the mail."

Lily looked up. Her mother was balancing the dirty laundry basket in one hand and holding a piece of parchment in the other that she'd pulled from her pocket. The letter had a familiar candle wax seal. Lily scrambled to grab the parchment from her mother's loose fingertips and ripped it open swiftly. Excitement buzzed through her nervous system as she read the first few lines and, when she pulled the entire letter out, a shiny new badge fell onto Lily's bedspread. Juniper reached out with one of her paws to see if it was edible. Lily swatted the cat paw away.

Excitedly, Lily dropped the whole letter in favor of the badge that had 'Head Girl' engraved into the gold.

"Mum!" she squealed in disbelief, "I got Head Girl!"

"Oh, Lily that's wonderful!" Andrea cried, hugging Lily tightly with her free arm, "Wait until your father hears about this! He'll be so proud!"

Lily opened the letter up more and was excited to see that, not only was she Head Girl, but she'd also gotten selected to be Slytherin's Quidditch Captain. Lily felt like the world had stopped spinning for a moment as she comprehended, suddenly, that she'd gotten everything she ever wanted.

_Head Girl and Quidditch Captain?_

Lily felt like she was on top of the world.

"This is so amazing," Lily said to her mum contentedly, "I didn't think I'd get both!"

"I'm so happy for you, Lily." Lily's mom hugged her even tighter, "I know it's hard for you, sometimes. But this just _proves_ that you're meant to be in the magical world."

Lily fidgeted with her new badge as she admitted, "I just wish you and dad could be a part of my world too."

"Lily?"

Lily's head shot up again and focused on her mum, standing in the doorway with a short smile, "Yeah mum?"

Andrea rose an eyebrow, "Just promise me something?"

"Anything." Lily swore as Juniper started batting at the loose bits of paper on the bed.

"Don't ever give up magic because you feel bad we can't have it."

"I don't-"

Lily's mother glared, shutting Lily's mouth promptly, "Promise me you'll talk to Professor Slughorn about that internship?"

Lily's lowered her shoulders in defeat, "I promise, mum."

"Good." She nodded curtly and then sent her daughter a kind look, "If you're lucky enough to have something that makes you different from everybody else...don't ever change."

Lily felt a pang of guilt as she agreed with her mother's wise words. She wasn't entirely being truthful, after all, the person who had been awarded Head Girl and Quidditch Captain was 'half-blood'.

Would Lily have even been considered or honored had she been truthful about who her parents were from the start? 

 


	4. Big Reputation

Chapter 4:

_I got a reputation girl, that don't precede me_

_I'm one call away, whenever you need me_

The Potter's got their boys up at the crack of dawn on September 1st. James and Sirius were notorious for falling back asleep, so the parents tag-teamed by pulling each boy from their soft bed sheets and into scratchy robes. Euphemia spent a half hour trying to get James and Sirius to eat something other than jellied toast and Fleamont was tasked with the usual pre-term lecture that was really not needed as both boys tended to ignore him and simply nod their heads in time to Fleamont's voice.

The boys stayed in zombie mode until the platform, when Euphemia proudly pinned James' Head Boy badge onto his robes. Sirius, who looked for any excuse to make fun of James, was snickering loudly as James begrudgingly accepted Euphemia's praises over the shiny new badge. The Potter's kissed both their boy's goodbye, ignoring the snake-like stares coming from Sirius' birthmother across the platform. In the time it spent Euphemia to try and brush down James' hair and straighten Sirius' tie, Remus and Peter found them.

"We're going to get a compartment in the back." Peter announced, his face gleaming with a leftover tan from his vacation to France, "let's go or they'll all be taken!"

Euphemia looked over James' shoulder to glare at Peter, "Peter, dear, let an old woman say goodbye to her sons."

"Hi Mrs. Potter," Peter gleamed red now, from Euphemia's chastising.

"I can't stay with you blokes anyways," James said, shoving his mum's hand from trying to flatten his hair.

"Why not?" Peter protested, "The prefect meeting isn't for another half an hour."

"James has to meet his Head Girl." Remus waggled his eyebrows at everyone as James rolled his eyes.

The train whistle rang through the station and they were all reminded to get aboard. The Potter's kissed James and Sirius, hugged Remus and Peter, then disappeared with winks. The boys had already loaded their luggage to avoid hassle and so, they started searching for a compartment in the back of the train. James grabbed Sirius' arm as they walked, flicking his wrist to look at the shiny silver watch Sirius had gotten as an early birthday gift from Fleamont and Euphemia.

"Alright there, Head Boy?" Sirius grinned when he saw the sick look on James' face.

"What the Head Girl is someone I don't like?" James voiced his fears, "What if it's some boring rule-abiding Hufflepuff…or Catchlove? I heard she wanted it."

"Whoever it is, she probably won't fancy being stuck with you much either," Sirius said wittily, "I still maintain my theory that Dumbledore was smoking dragon dung when he sent you the badge."

"Yeah, yeah." James mocked as Sirius started following Remus into an empty compartment with a wide grin, "It's _so_ hilarious that I got Head Boy."

"Riveting!" Remus called from inside the compartment.

"Unbelievable!" Peter's voice rang in.

"Absolutely hysterical." Sirius ended with a wink at James, "Don't forget us troublemakers on the other side."

Sirius slammed the compartment shut on James with a lighthearted wave that made James roll his eyes. James shoved his hands in his pockets and continued on his path towards the front of the train where the prefect's carriage was awaiting his presence. Sirius had been teasing James for the whole week. Ever since the letter came from school, rewarding James with Head Boy, Sirius had been taking the mickey out on James whenever he could.

When James got the Head Boy badge in the mail, he'd been so shocked that he dropped it in his bowl of porridge. His parents practically threw a party when they realized what James was trying to clean off with a napkin. They'd gone out to dinner to celebrate and gotten James new robes just for the occasion. James had been in shock since getting the award. James thought for sure Remus would be the one to earn the badge, seeing as he was a prefect, but it seemed Dumbledore wanted James for the job.

Remus had been so understanding and James felt bad that his friend didn't get the spot. Remus was adamant that he didn't want it because he couldn't do the rounds with the full moon schedules. Remus only made fun of James when Sirius did, playing off Sirius' prankster attitudes. James knew Remus was rather excited to have a friend at the meetings as most of the other prefects didn't care for Remus much because Remus didn't follow the rules rigorously like a soldier.

Meanwhile, Sirius was being a real prick about it and making fun of James at any opportunity. He'd roped Peter into it and the pair had already nicked the badge twice to try and charm it to start yelling derogatory words every time someone said Head Boy. Luckily, James had apprehended Sirius and Peter each time before the real damage was done. Peter was thinking he'd be free from detention with James as the law. James didn't have the heart to remind Peter that there would be a Head Girl too.

The unknown Head Girl was the reason, ultimately, James stood outside the prefect compartment on the Hogwarts Express, trying to straighten his tie in the shadow of the metal sheet. He tried not to look through the glass to see the color of hair behind it. He had no idea who he'd be working with all year long. He'd knew of a few girls who would've been good candidates but James was still unsure who Dumbledore would pick.

James was sure he'd die if the Head Girl turned out to be Greta Catchlove. She was the most exasperating Gryffindor on the planet with a loud nasal voice and annoying fascination for James' father. Catchlove absolutely fancied James because of who his father was and made it very clear in her lack of boundaries around him. She wanted to be a potioneer and clearly thought snogging James was a good way to jet-start her career since James' father Fleamont was a potions celebrity.

Taking a deep breath, after straightening his tie for the tenth time, James put a hand on the compartment door and pulled it open. The girl in the compartment was facing the window and her hands fisted in her robes. When she heard the door open, she turned on her heel quickly. Her red hair hit her cheek like a whip and her green eyes widened at the sight of him. James watched a faint red flush rise on her skin and he was pulled back to the concert where he'd seen her last. The silver Head Girl pin shone brightly on Lily Evans' chest, naming the Slytherin James' partner for the remainder of the school year.

James swallowed thickly, recalling the way she'd acted inside the concert, so free and full of life. Then, he'd seen her with her Slytherin mates. He'd seen the way Severus Snape seemed to claim her as his own as the streetlamps lit her hair on fire. He felt the same mixture of emotions as when he walked away and later, when Sirius had offhandedly mentioned that Snape and Evans had gone to Dittany together.

James wondered what she was doing at Dittany. The bar was known for being where a lot of known dark wizards hung out. Sirius and James had been there once but after Sirius spotted his cousins there, they never returned. According to Sirius, Evans had told her mates that she didn't want to go but Greengrass and Snape begged her. James wondered if she didn't want to go because of the people who'd appeared, namely Mulciber.

Instead of looking angry at his appearance, Evans actually looked a little relieved. James wondered who she'd been expecting, Knott perhaps? James' eyes traced her crossed arms and closed off behavior, signaling she was tense. He didn't know what to say to her. He wondered if he ought to bring up the Swift Broomsticks concert where she'd made fun of his accent, or if he ought to ask what she thought of Dittany afterwards.

Not that he should care about any of it.

She was a Slytherin too. She hung out with deceitful and evil wizards, clearly liked by all of them. After all, they'd all been looking at her after the concert like she was a shiny new toy they couldn't wait to get their hands on. Snape kept an annoying close hand on her, in fact, James was surprised he wasn't here now.

Evans uncrossed her arms quickly and she stuck out her hand. He took her hand awkwardly, hoping the clammy feeling wasn't noticeable. He didn't know why he felt like a thousand little needles were pricking into his heart but damn, when she looked into his eyes, he suddenly felt punch drunk.

"This is a surprise." Her voice, light and teasing, threw him for another loop.

Someone who hung out with wizards like Snape shouldn't talk to James like they were old friends.

"Did you have a nice summer?" he asked politely.

"Sure," Evans said as if she were sharing a private joke with him, "You?"

"Brilliant." James felt his voice crack and he cleared his throat, "Congratulations on Head Girl."

She didn't lower her gaze, "I didn't think you'd be the one to walk through that door."

"Dumbledore asked if I'd be interested." James shrugged, "I thought it'd be fun to give detentions for once, instead of receiving them."

That made her lips flutter up, "You know that you can still get detention as a Head Boy, right?"

"Wasn't brought up in the fine print." James pretended to consider her words, "Think I can back out now?"

"That would make our lives much easier." she commented slightly, "I don't fancy doing rounds with my Quidditch competition."

James' heart was skipping, "You'll find I'm a much better friend than rival, Evans."

She queried, "You can't possibly believe a Gryffindor and a Slytherin can work together harmoniously?"

"Well," James looked down at their hands, still clasped together, "We're doing okay so far."

Evans looked down at their handshake and she quickly pulled her fingers from his. She shoved her fingers into her wand pocket, eyes glancing pointedly at a spot on the carpet. James' hand jumped into his already messy black hair, thousands of questions fluttering through his head. They sat in silence, both lost in their own astonishment and disbelief. It was the train whistle, announcing they were finally to the countryside, that woke both of them up from the trance. James' hand lowered from his hair and he adjusted his glasses, pretending to clean them.

"Uh," Evans sucked in a breath, "did you happen to look over the packet that Dumbledore owled us?"

"Yeah," James shifted on his left foot, "Looks like we can divide the work up pretty evenly."

"That would be nice," she said truthfully, "I'll need a bit of spare time seeing as I made Quidditch Captain this year."

Provoked, James stood up straighter as his eyes widened at the news. Evans had been Slytherins pick for the Quidditch team at the end of last year, and James wasn't surprised. She was a good flier, even if she sometimes got called out for being too aggressive. She had a very prominent competitive streak on the field, which is why she and James constantly bickered after games.

"Quidditch captain huh?" he tried to look unmoved by the news, "Flint finally graduated?"

"Finally?" Evans snorted.

"I heard he was held back a lot." James leaned in to whisper like Flint was in the room with them, "He was a bit slow on and off the broom, if you catch my drift."

Evans put her hands on her hips and glared up at him, but she was unable to hide the amusement in her upturned lips, "Your jokes get worse and worse every year." Evans was relaxing, he could tell by her posture. She'd just needed to warm up her wits.

"Excuse you," James feigned offense, pulling away from her a bit, "I am the funniest person you've ever met, Evans."

"Wrong."

James was prepared to tease her with the one thing that he'd kept thinking about since the Swift Broomsticks concert.

"You thought I was hilarious at that concert over the summer." he pointed out.

Promptly, Evans' face turned tomato red and she opened her mouth, then closed it. She seemed to be lost for words as some other emotion, probably humiliation, took over. James guessed that Evans had hoped that James forgot about their little encounter over the summer. James would never forget Evans' face as she danced to some of his favorite lyrics. It was the only thing blocking out the way that Mulciber had looked at Evans under the nighttime sky after the concert. Sirius' warnings about Evans echoed through James' head a thousand times but he didn't listen to them.

"Well," Evans finally managed to say, "I wasn't laughing _with_ you. I was clearly laughing _at_ you."

"That's right!" James slapped his knee, "you made fun of the way I talk."

"Sorry, I was a little..." Evans looked like she wished the floor would swallow her hole.

"Drunk?" James shook his head, "Now is that proper Head Girl behavior?"

A challenge arose in Evans' eyes, "Sorry, I didn't realize this was the pot calling the kettle, black."

"What?"

"You snuck into Hogwarts last year with firewhiskey after hours." Evans crossed her arms again and dared him to argue, "That's not exactly proper Head Boy behavior, now is it?"

"You drank one!" James accused, "You took one from me and walked away!"

"I did nothing of the sort."

But she couldn't meet his stare and a light flush rose on her cheeks again.

"Don't lie," James shook his finger at her, "or I'll-"

"Or you'll what?" Evans snorted, trying and failing to look unaffected by his mocking, "Tell another one of your awful jokes?"

James crossed his own arms to match her stance, "Did you hear the one about the witch who gave up divination?"

Evans put up a hand to stop him, "Don't"

James ignored her, "She saw no _future_ in it."

He was rewarded with the faintest whisper of a smile on her lips, but it was gone as soon as it appeared. He knew had they been back at that concert, she would've laughed out loud. It was interesting just how much control she had once she donned her school robes. She was absolutely hiding something, James didn't know what, but he had a feeling it had something to do with the people she hung out with. He wondered if she could possibly be just as dark as the rest of them but better at hiding her diplomacies.

"Do they not tell jokes in Slytherin?" her asked slyly, "it seems you've forgotten how to laugh."

Evans looked up at him carefully, "You just can't help yourself, can you?"

James shrugged, "Just saying."

The door behind James slammed open. Prefects were now filing into the compartment, talking in brassy voices that obscured her tort response. Some of the prefects were older and exsperinced, offering the Head Boy and Girl welcoming smiles. James recognized some of them and they certainly recognized James, looking at him in shock when they saw the Head Boy pin on his lapel.

James' reputation for scoffing at rules was certainly well known. Once James and Sirius had protested the dress code in second year and spent a week wearing girls' skirts when they'd gotten in trouble for wearing dressing gowns to potions. James spent most of his time getting into fights with Severus Snape, who, had always hated the Gryffindor boys. James was most famous for the whomping willow incident. No one really knew what happened, there were so many stories about that night. Still, the fact remained that James, Sirius and Snape had all spent two months in detention. That earned all of them bad reputations among younger students and staff who didn't know the whole story.

Trouble had been synonymous to James' name since first year, and it only grew worse because he'd saved Severus Snape's life.

Still, James had been at the scene of the crime and Snape had spun a mad story about Sirius and James. Not to mention that Dumbledore found out that James, Sirius and Peter had all been sneaking down to the willow to begin with. Despite them claiming it was all in Remus' name, Dumbledore had forbidden the boys from going near Remus during transformations. As far as Dumbledore as concerned, the boys had listened. No one knew that once a month, James and his mates ran around as transfigured animals with a werewolf.

As if knowing James had been thinking about him, Remus walked in, sharing a smile with James as he entered. James clapped Remus on the shoulder, noting the bags under Remus' eyes. He hadn't noticed them earlier and now James grew worried Remus wasn't feeling well.

"You ok?" James mouthed at Remus.

"Fine." Remus said before he nodded politely at Evans, "Nice to see you Evans."

Evans smiled back just as civilly, "Thanks Lupin."

No one else at Hogwarts knew about Remus' infliction. Severus Snape knew but he had sworn to Dumbledore he wouldn't tell anyone Remus' secret. James always wondered if the slimy git had told his best mate but she never acted any different around Remus. James glanced sideways at Evans and wondered, again, how much Severus Snape could ruin if he even let slip one word around her.

Evans ordered everyone to take a seat so they could go over the rounds schedule that Dumbledore had sent ahead. James was pulling the calendars from his book bag when Kip Gansley, a seventh year Ravenclaw, swaggered into the compartment. James didn't miss the suggestive smirk in Evans' direction when she looked up from her own task paper. James was certain he saw Gansley's eyes trace Evans from top to bottom as she turned her full attention to him.

"You're late Gansley." Evans snapped from behind her paper.

Gansley brushed off the warning in Evans' voice, "Sorry, love."

James glanced over at Evans. Evans looked like she wanted to murder Gansley, telling James that Gansley was being a prick. Gansley fluffed his fringe as he fell into a seat beside one of the new fifth year prefects. The new prefect, a smaller fifth year Hufflepuff, moved over self-consciously to make room for the seventh year Ravenclaw. Evans was looking at Gansley with every bit of dislike written on her face.

Gansley waved at Evans, "You can continue."

Evans looked as if she were about to blow a fuse. James was on her side for the first time in their entire lives. Gansley was a fucking arse.

"Next time don't be late." James said tersely in Gansley's direction.

Gansley turned his cool blue eyes on James for the first time, registering who he was. Gansley's eyebrows shot up into his hairline when his eyes found the Head Boy pin on James' tie. A range of emotions crossed Gansley's face. James didn't know Gansley too well, but James could tell that Gansley was not ecstatic with the revelation that James was Head Boy.

Gansley sneered at James, "Why should I take orders from someone like you?"

Remus let out a groan and covered his eyes, as if knowing James' reaction would be poor. Some of the Prefects stared at Gansley, awestruck by his gall. James had never felt any emotion towards Gansley before, they didn't really cross paths too many times, but at the rate Gansley was going, James was destined to hate him by the time the train made it halfway to Hogsmede station.

"First of all, you have to listen because I'm Head Boy." James glared Gansley down, "Second of all, unless Evans has given you the consent to do so, don't ever address her as anything other than her _name_."

Gansley shot Evans a bitter look, "I wasn't aware you had joined the Lily Evans protection detail, Potter."

"You'll need your own protection detail if you keep back-talking me, Gansley." James' eyes had narrowed into slits, "Now shut up and let us finish this meeting."

Gansley jumped up, fists drawn. Evans protested immediately, jumping between both boys with every bit of disbelief as everyone else in the car.

"Let's all be mature here."

"That'll be hard for him." Gansley nodded at James, "He's always starting fights. It's a wonder Dumbledore made him Head Boy. We're sure he didn't nick the badge?"

"Is there a _problem_ , Gansley?" Evans broke, crossly rounding on the seventh year Ravenclaw.

"As a matter of fact, there is." Gansley sniffed, he was shorter than James, but he held himself tall, "Why the Hell is Potter even here?"

Gansley spat James' name out like it was a rotten vegetable. James' hand was halfway to his pocket, getting ready to grab his wand incase a fight broke out.

"I'm Head Boy." James said, pointing to the pin on his lapel and Evans nodded in conformation.

"So," Gansley's jaw twitched, "You're telling me," he said in a low voice, "that Dumbledore picked Gryffindor's resident insubordinate troublemaker to lead the student body this year? Over me? I haven't gotten a detention _once_ in my life and you're just going to walk in here and expect me to listen to you? Hell no."

"That's the idea, yeah." James said, flexing his arms as he crossed them, "Too bad, so sad."

Gansley shook his head doubtfully "I can't believe this, it's so unfair!"

"Listen," Evans said levelheadedly to Gansley, "I'm just as thrilled about Potter being Head Boy as you, Gansley, but try to be cordial."

"Wow Evans," James shot at Evans a disapproving glare, "sorry to ruin your seventh year."

"It was a joke, Potter." Evans warned James with a glare.

Gansley scowled at Evans in return, "Picking _you_ makes more sense than _him_. Everyone saw that coming, what with your connections in Slytherin."

Evans blanched, "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Slughorn probably made a strong case for his favorite student." Gansley spat, and James watched Evans turn even paler at the implications that she hadn't worked her arse off for Head Girl.

"We all know Sluggy plays favorites," James interrupted, "but Evans earned her spot."

Remus, who up until this point had remained silent among his fellow prefects, spoke, "I for one, think Evans and Potter will make an excellent team."

And Gansley, who clearly had taken one too many hits to the head at some point in his life, snarled at Remus, "you're mental if you think a Gryffindor and Slytherin team can lead this student body together."

"They're both our best athletes and work well on the quidditch teams." Remus argued in favor of Evans and James, "and they've both got top marks in school. Just because they bicker like an old married couple doesn't mean they can lead us."

Evans scoffed, "I'd never marry a Gryffindor with an ego the size of the fucking moon."

"Say the witch who thinks she's the best flier in our year." Remus said pointedly, making Evans' jaw drop open in disbelief.

"Lupin had a point," Gansley shot a glare in Evans' direction, "Evans prides herself for her broomstick skills." Gansley looked James up and down, "Maybe she'll ride _your_ broomstick tonight when you're on rounds together."

James didn't give Evans a chance to defend herself because he was so sick of Gansley's stupidity that he pulled his wand from out of his pocket and waved it at Gansley. Gansley's hands flew to his throat and his eyes widened in panic as he realized what James had done. Gansley opened his mouth and no sound came out. Gansley was stunned for a second before he bolted forward again, fists raised and ready to pummel James. Gansley launched, but James was quicker, flicking his wand up and speaking an incantation out loud to make Gansley stay put.

" _Petrificus Totalus_."

Gansley fell into a rigid state on the floor of the train. James twirled his wand in his fingers as Evans stared down at Gansley, magically frozen on the floor. Evans gawked at Gansley for a moment before dragging her eyes back up to James. The other prefects were frozen in their seats, unsure of what to do.

Remus looked physically sick, "That was my fault."

"Don't be stupid." James snapped at Remus, "That was all Gansley."

Evans' voice cracked in disbelief, "Holy shit."

"Right." James said, interrupting Evans' quiet voice and reaching up to tousle his hair furiously, "Anyone else got a problem with Evans and I as your Head Girl and Boy?"

No one moved.

Remus had his face in his heads, as if he were crying into them.

"Great." James snarled as he stuffed his wand back into his pocket, "Let's finish this."

Evans tucked her hair behind her ear, dumbstruck. James stepped over Gansley, passing out the copied schedules to the petrified prefects. Evans was probably trying to think of how to administer damage control, but she clearly didn't even know where to begin with James.

Instead, she turned to Remus who just looked tired.

James didn't mind, he had a feeling she was gathering up all the words she could throw at him before meeting him head to head for a fight. James pointed out highlighted portions on the calendars. He explained how to read them and ignored Evans deliberately, knowing he'd just face her afterwards.

"As prefects you're only required to do one nightly rotation a week." James explained as everyone still stared at Gansley, stationary on the floor, "if there are any problems with your schedule, please let me or Evans know. We're here to make your lives easier."

"Potter is right." Evans cleared her throat, "That is, if your grades are slipping because you can't keep up with both, please let us know. We won't judge you. We'll help you."

James didn't miss one of the Ravenclaws hiss to her friend, "Help us, or hex us?"

Her friend snickered.

James bent down and eloquently placed the last piece of parchment on Gansley's face. If Evans heard the Ravenclaw girl and her friend, she chose to ignore them. Gansley was breathing, the parchment rose and fell back onto his stony face as he breathed. All James could keep thinking about was Headmaster Dumbledore's face when he heard about what happened in the prefect compartment on the train. James hoped the old man at least gave James a minute to explain why Gansley needed to be muzzled.

Everyone in the room looked at each other curiously, still rendered speechless by the meetings events. It wasn't too often one saw a Gryffindor stick up for a Slytherin, especially when it happened to be two very well-known rival quidditch players. James was sure he'd set an impression amongst the newest prefects. Remus had suggested James be memorable, it just probably wasn't memorable in the way Remus meant. Based on Evans' disgruntled stares through the rest of the meeting, James had a feeling she didn't appreciate his tactics to shut up Gansley.

"Let us know if you have any questioned about the schedule," Evans said when she finished explaining the rules, "You're all dismissed. Our next meeting will be October first and we'll be planning the Hogsmede trip."

James looked down at Gansley, who hadn't moved the entire half hour long meeting. Gansley had clearly been hurt by James and Evans getting the top positions. James inclined over Gansley, staring at the Ravenclaw with a hard-pressed jaw. James wondered how many days detention he'd get for this one. Maybe he could convince Sirius to pull a prank to go with him.

Remus passed James and they swapped annoyed looks.

"See you in a few." Remus muttered, "I'll save you a liquorish wand."

"Tell Sirius to avenge me." James muttered back, "incase Evans poisons me."

Remus clapped James on the back before leaving James alone with Evans and Gansley's frozen body. Outside the train windows, clouds were forming in the west, promising a storm. The compartment was too quiet, Evans was practically bouncing back and forth on the balls of her feet, anxious. James shoved his hands into his pockets.

"You can't blame me." He muttered, "Gansley was being a prick."

Evans refused to look at James, "you can't go around hexing people for fun, Potter."

James almost got whiplash from turning his head so fast.

"I didn't do it for _fun_." James stared at Evans incredulously, "I did it because Gansley was-"

"Doing what he always does," Evans interrupted James.

"Doesn't make it right."

Evans faltered back a step, her face glowing red, "It doesn't matter." she said hotly, "You still can't go around hexing students you don't agree with, Potter."

"Yeah well," James stood upright, "he was annoying me."

"So, you _hexed_ him?" Lily sounded exasperated.

"Reflex." James observed shrewdly, looking down and nudging Gansley's foot with his own, "He'll be fine, look, his eyes are moving."

Evans pressed her hand to her forehead, "You're supposed to be setting an example."

"I did set an example."

"A _good_ example."

James sent her a sickly-sweet smile meant to antagonize her, "Isn't teaching respect for your superiors, good?"

"I can take care of myself if that's what you're insinuating," Evans said, "Besides, Gansley will just go right to Professor Dumbledore at the feast to have us removed from our positions because _you_ couldn't keep your wand down!"

"So sorry for sticking up for you." James replied snottily, "Next time I'll just let someone keep talking about how you fucked your way to the top of the leaderboard."

"Why do you even care what people say about me?" Evans asked, "you're just as bad as any of them."

"I am not."

"You can't pretend like I don't know the number of times you've gotten detention for hexing other students." Evans deadpanned, sending him a critical frown, "My best mate happens to be one of the blokes you like to use as target practice."

"Yeah." James said, disgruntled, "Like he doesn't use me for target practice just as often?"

" _What_?" Evans' eyes flashed dangerously, warning him that she was prepared to jinx him herself.

"Look," he said bitterly, "I'll undo the tongue-tied jinx on Gansley…just don't look at me like that, please. You're acting like my mother."

"Your _mother_?" Evans gaped at James, clearly offended.

James snickered as he leaned down towards Gansley, "Don't fret, Evans. She's a lovely woman."

James waved his wand in a circle and heard a groan erupt from Gansley's open mouth. James stood up straight and Evans raised her eyebrows at him expectantly.

"What?" James asked, sensing she'd let him know what she thought without his prompting.

"Aren't you going to take the body bind off him too?"

"And let Gansley have the chance to attack me again when I turn to leave?" James shook his head, "No way, it was a simple body binding. It should wear off by the time we make it to Hogsmede."

James walked past her, tucking his wand back into his pocket. Evans huffed, and she chased after him.

"So, you're just going to _leave_ him?!"

James turned so quickly that Evans almost ran into him. She came to a skidding halt in the train corridor. Other students tried moving around them. Evans' shoulders kept getting hit by students who were watching the fight between the two seventh years students carefully.

"If I go wake him up, I have to apologize." James said under his breath so people couldn't eavesdrop, "And I don't regret what I did."

Evans pouted her lower lip, "The mature thing _would_ be to apologize."

"It didn't bother you?" James asked pointedly with narrowed eyes, "What Gansley said about you?"

Evans tucked her hair behind her ear as she looked up at him, "Gansley is just mad because you got Head Boy and he's jealous."

"He seems pretty bitter about you getting Head Girl too," James noted warily.

"I clearly don't agree with him, but you'll note how I didn't hex him." Evans said through clenched teeth.

"You're welcome for having the bravery to do what you lacked the courage for." James fake bowed, "I take payment in Swift Broomsticks tickets."

"I'll give you a swift broomstick up your arse," Evans threatened, "if you don't go apologize to Gansley, with me."

"Gansley was a prick to you and you really want to apologize?" James narrowed his eyes at her.

Evans stood up taller, "I _am_ Head Girl and I can't just leave a student on the floor in the prefect cabin."

"Most Slytherins would walk away and leave their enemies on the ground." James crossed his arms, "Your bloke Severus does it quite often, in fact. You ought to take a leaf from his book, eh?"

"Oh, don't act like you're better than Sev in any way." Evans shot at James, "You've always hated Sev, ever since he beat your scores in Potions."

"I could care less about what grades that git gets." James shot back nastily, "I can still out duel him."

"Merlin," Evans pressed a hand to her forehead, "You're just as pigheaded as the rest of the boys in this school."

"What?" James implored, "Evans, I am _nothing_ like your Slytherin boys."

"You aren't acting like it right now." she retorted.

James, taken aback, just stared at her. She was unlike anything he imagined because she had that side to her, the soft side that wanted to apologize to blokes who'd wronged her. She was calling him out on all his bluffs. It was infuriating but also, refreshing. When James didn't answer her right away, Evans threw her hands up in defeat and turned back to the compartment where Gansley lay on the cold hard ground, "And here I thought Gryffindors were supposed to be chivalrous, but it turns out I was wrong, you're all just cowards."

"We _are_ chivalrous!" James shouted after her as she started going back to Gansley, "Evans! _Oi_!"

Evans ignored him and reentered the prefect compartment. James kicked out angrily, grabbing a fistful of his hair atop his head. He hated that he knew Evans was right because Merlin, did he _hate_ to be wrong.

Especially around a Slytherin.

James cursed and stalked back to the prefect compartment resentfully. Stupid Evans and her stupid chivalry comment. She knew just how to make James feel like the biggest asshole to walk the school hallways. James paused in the doorway when he saw Gansley had been woken up and was talking to Evans.

Gansley rubbed his calves like they were still locked together, "Thank you."

Evans wrinkled her nose, "I didn't know you would be that peeved to find out Potter got Head Boy."

"Yeah." Gansley mumbled rather bitterly, "well, surely puts things into perspective. It's all a popularity contest."

"If that were the case." Evans said softly, "I wouldn't have been Dumbledore's first pick."

James took that moment to step into the compartment. His eyes met Evans' and he saw she was serious about feeling as if she weren't popular. Everyone knew who she was, everyone in Slytherin seemed to think she was okay. James wondered what made her so self-conscience.

Gansley spotted James and snarled, ripping his wand from his own pocket.

"Relax Gansley." James rolled his eyes, "I'm not going to kick your arse again."

"You tongue tied me," Gansley spluttered, jumping up in defense only to waver on his unstable legs, "And then you _jinxed_ me!"

"Yeah, well, you were being a git." James shrugged.

"Don't listen to Potter, Gansley," Evans warned the Ravenclaw Prefect, "He was prepared to leave you here until Hogsmede."

"I was," James admitted, "But then Evans reminded me that as a Gryffindor I'm supposed to be a chivalrous git."

"You're too late to be chivalrous," Evans retorted, "so you're still just a massive git."

"I ought to report the _both_ of you to Headmaster Dumbledore." Gansley adjusted his scarf, "This _isn't_ proper Head behavior."

James' eyebrows flew up, "I wouldn't do that Gansley because then I'd report you for being a misogynistic arse to your Head Girl."

Gansley glared at James with every bit of hatred written on his face, "You don't deserve Head Boy, Potter."

"That might be right." James reasoned, "But for whatever reason, Dumbledore picked me so you'll just have to deal with it."

"You've got more detentions than anybody! You spent half of fourth year in detention for that willow incident with Severus Snape." Gansley snarled as James sent a quick look to gauge Evans' reaction. She didn't let her facial features move, but her eyes met his just as quickly.

"The willow incident was wiped from my record." James adjusted his robes, "And you don't have any idea what you're talking about anyways, Gansley, so I'd keep your opinions to yourself."

"I've got a perfect record!" Gansley protested, "Why would Dumbledore not pick me?"

James sighed, "I've got leadership from quidditch, experience doing rounds with Remus Lupin, and I know that castle like it's the back of my hand. I'm just as qualified as you, Gansley. Sorry my headship repute doesn't precede my detention sum."

Gansley sniffed before sending James a disgruntled look, "we don't have to do rounds together right?"

James leered at Gansley's keen dislike, "Gansley, I will personally see to it that we don't _ever_ have to do rounds together."

Gansley sniffed and straightened his robes, "That's all I ask."

James stepped out of the way to let Gansley leave the compartment. Evans sucked in a deep breath before pushing her hair away from her face. James wandered her way, dropping to her level, on his knees. She was picking fingernail polish from her nails, shunning his stare.

"I think that was handled well." He smiled at her roguishly, waiting for her to face him.

"Why are you even _here_?" Evans glared at him, "you wanted to leave Gansley here."

"And I could have," James replied, "Had you not made me feel guilty as shit."

"I made _you_ feel guilty?" Evans asked doubtfully.

James said, rather hurt by her words, "I have been known to show a bit of modesty once or twice in my life, Evans."

Evans' eyes flickered up at him, "I know. You saved Sev from the willow in fourth year."

James swallowed and stood up, backing away from her, "Yeah well, that wasn't an example I was thinking of."

"Still," Evans said, "you did it."

"Just do me a favor." James asked, "Don't ever compare me to a Slytherin like Snape, ever again."

Evans pushed back her fringe, "You say that like it's a bad thing."

"It _is_ a bad thing."

Evans snorted and stuffed her wand in her pocket, "You are so biased."

"Are you blind?" James shot at her, "what kind of people do you think you're hanging out with."

"The world isn't split into good people and death eaters." Evans said, "you're always so ready to assume anyone in Slytherin is bad you don't take the chance to get to know them."

"Well," James said coldly, "I don't need to get to know people like Snape and Knott to know what they're all about."

"Do you have a problem with my friends?"

"I saw them with you after the concert." James shot back, "Snape and Knott are both wanna be Death Eaters. Look at who they position themselves around. Mulciber? I mean, Evans, he's the worst out of all of them."

"Mulciber and I _aren't_ friends." Evans said frostily, "And Severus is _nothing_ like Mulciber."

"Oh," James pretended to look mesmerized, "You're right, he just bullies muggleborns for the Hell of it than."

"Severus would never!" she seemed so sure, as if she didn't see Snape bully the younger muggleborns at Hogwarts, "he's _not_ like that."

"You're either a really good liar Evans." James said, "or Snape has been hiding a lot from you."

"You think you know everything, Potter." she snarled feverishly, "But you're just prejudiced because you can't accept that maybe there's some Slytherins in the world who don't fit the mold you try and shove them into."

"I don't shove all of them into a mold."

"You assume Sev is a bad person because of who he hangs around with," Evans said, "you assume I'm like the rest of them just because of who I hang out with. You _absolutely_ shove every Slytherin into your Death Eater mold. Why?"

James licked his lips before saying darkly, "you should ask Sirius Black why Slytherin is full of psychotic pureblood lunatics."

Evans shook her head, "So you think I'm a psychotic pureblood raging lunatic?"

James brushed her away, "I think you're raging mad, Evans, but psychotic seems a little much."

Evans half-laughed. James shoved his hand into his pocket uncomfortably. Lily let out a long sigh as she smoothed the hair on the back of her head. James realized he might've overstepped, especially when she saw the wide frown on her face as she continued picking at her nail polish.

"I'm sorry." He said softly and her head shot up, "You're right, I shouldn't shove everyone into a mold. I don't like when people do that to me so I shouldn't do it to others."

Evans stopped picking at her polish to nod curtly at James, "thanks for apologizing."

"It's going to be a little odd," James said, "playing on the same team for the first time in our entire lives."

Evans finally looked up at him and he saw she looked a little more lenient, "it will certainly take some getting used to."

"We might surprise each other." James teased, 'Maybe even become friends."

Evans crossed her arms again, "Don't push your luck, Potter."

"Hey," James said, "we can listen to Swift Broomsticks and I'll teach you a west country accent. We can bond."

Evans rolled her eyes, "I knew from the moment you walked into this compartment that you'd be nothing but trouble for me."

"You'll never be bored, Evans."

"Don't think I'll let you slip by on your duties for even a second." Evans warned.

"You already let me sneak past with alcohol," James commented smartly, "Don't try to be a hard arse starting now."

"You have an annoyingly impeccable memory." Evans scrunched up her nose.

"I know," he agreed, "See you after the feast, for rounds."

"Bye."

James saluted Evans before walking out.

James had no sooner walked into the cabin where Sirius, Peter and Remus were eating candy when Sirius burst into a slow clap. James bowed, knowing Remus had likely already told them the whole story. Peter threw a bit of candy at James' head.

"Our man of the evening." Sirius cheered, "Mr. Head Boy Potter! Knocking out prefects and fighting with Slytherins the first hour in!"

"Ha ha." James shot Remus a stare, "Couldn't keep your mouth shut, could you, Remus?"

Remus grimaced, "Sirius asked how it went, and who was I to keep such a great story from him?"

"Thanks Remus." James said, ruffling Remus' mousy hair, "Really helpful."

"I can't believe you knocked out Kip Gansley on your first day on the job." Sirius barked with laughter, "Brilliant. I've always hated him."

"Gansley is a git." James agreed, grabbing a chocolate bar, "And Evans still apologized to him."

"She what?" Remus raised a brow at James, "She apologized to him? But he was the one being an arse!"

"That's what I said." James bit into his chocolate unrestrainedly.

Remus shook his head, "she's too nice."

"Too nice?" James said with a mouthful of chocolate, "are we talking about the same girl?"

"I'm with Prongs on this one," Sirius said, "She tried to castrate me in fourth year when I made fun of Snivellus"

"You know," James said delightfully, "I do believe she would've done the world if she had managed to castrate you."

"Oi!" Sirius jumped up and put James' head in a headlock, "You're on my side!"

"Imagine little Padfoot's running around." James continued, "Absolutely terrifying. I'll have to see if she wouldn't mind still preforming the castration."

Remus crossed his legs as he ripped open candy fruit flies, "Even more terrifying than little Prongsies running around?"

"They'd have better hair." James said from Sirius' arms.

"Your hair is shite, Potter." Sirius said, knuckling James' hair in response.

James managed to grab ahold of one of Sirius' shoelaces and yanked hard, throwing Sirius off balance enough that the both of them came crashing down on Peter. The boys wrestled until the train started slowing down and Hogsmede appeared in the windows. It was dark by the time the seventh years made it to the Hogwarts halls.

The castle was warm, and teachers were calling for the students to get to their respective house tables. James passed Evans on the way to the Gryffindor table but she didn't look his way and she was seemingly arguing with Severus Snape under her breath.

Sirius noted their arguing too and muttered, "Trouble in paradise."

James shot Sirius a look as they sat down at the end of the Gryffindor table. The first years came into the hall last to be sorted. The sorting ceremony was an hour long and James' stomach was growling loudly by the end of it. When the food finally appeared magically, James stuffed his face with mashed potatoes and leek soup.

Some members of the Gryffindor Quidditch team found James and they started talking about the first practice. Dessert was just as good as dinner and James had to lean back as he walked, feeling as if he'd eaten a hippogriff. James directed prefects from Gryffindor and Hufflepuff to take first years to the common rooms and was about to head to find Evans for rounds when he ran right into her in the entrance hall.

She almost stumbled backwards from colliding into his chest, so he grabbed her arm and yanked her forward again. She laughed nervously, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Hi," she said, "Sorry, I was just looking for you. Thanks for taking care of Hufflepuff."

"No problem." James said, "Thanks for getting Ravenclaw."

"My friend is a prefect in Ravenclaw." Evans explained, "She pretty much took over."

"Ready to do rounds?" James asked, "We've got three hours of boredom ahead of us."

"Yeah, let's go." Evans said.

Snape appeared suddenly from the Great Hall. James took a step back as Snape pushed his way to face Evans. Snape placed one hand on her shoulder as he passed a quick glare at James over his shoulder. James made a face at Snape, hating the way he always had to check on Evans. She was a grown adult, she didn't need a baby sitter.

"See you in the common room." Snape smiled at Evans, "I'll save you a spot by the fireplace."

"Thanks Sev," Evans smiled kindly at her friend, "But I'll probably be tired, I'll just head to bed."

"Okay," Snape looked back at James with distrust, "Be careful."

"Sev." Evans hissed, suddenly seeming annoyed, "It's fine, go!"

"Lily! James!"

Professor Dumbledore swept towards them as soon as Severus had left. The Headmaster wore a set of blue robes that seemed to only make his wide blue eyes pop eccentrically. James and Evans both laughed uncomfortably as Dumbledore swept each of them up into warm handshakes and smiles.

"Glad to see you both received your badges." He said, "Are you okay with the schedule?"

"Yes." Evans spoke before James could, politely, "Thank you for this opportunity. We won't disappoint you, sir."

"It's an easy job." Dumbledore promised them both, "I will be checking up on the both of you throughout the year but if there are any pressing questions, please consort with Professor McGonagall."

"Thank you, Professor." James hoped that Gansley wouldn't talk to anyone about what happened on the train.

Dumbledore smiled at them both, "I'm off for a nightcap. You two have fun, get to know each other. Tonight should be quiet as it's the first night back. Professor Slughorn is the teacher on duty tonight but you can reach any of us through the portraits."

Dumbledore shook their hands once more before setting off. Professor McGonagall waved at them both as she left for her own office. They were left alone in the Entrance Hall with a few stragglers heading to the dormitories for bed. One of those taking their time leaving the entrance hall was a new Professor. Dumbledore had introduced her as Professor Rogers, the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. The orange-haired witch smiled at James and Evans kindly as she passed.

"I was Head Girl in my day." Rogers winked at Evans, "Hope your first night is more exciting than mine was."

Rogers spoke with a thick Irish accent and waved cheerily as she passed them, heading for the staircase. Evans stared after the new teacher for a moment before she sighed deeply and shot James a polite smile.

"Ready?"

James gestured for her to lead the way, "as ready as ever."

Evans led the way through the halls. James followed on her heels, watching the way the dark shadows fell across her blood red hair from behind. She was wearing her Slytherin robes and they looked black in the night filled hallways. Whenever they stepped under torches though, she glowed green. Evans didn't talk much, only enough to ask James if he minded checking the seventh floor.

"Whatever you think is best." James replied, "You know more than I do."

Evans fell back to fall into step with him, "You mentioned to Gansley that you used to do rounds with Lupin."

James' hands automatically shot to his hair nervously, "Oh, uh, yeah. I'd get bored and Remus always invited me on rounds."

Evans raised one of her eyebrows perceptively, "you got bored and went on rounds?" she seemed amused, "There wasn't anything else you could do with your time?"

James, uncomfortable under her discerning stare, shrugged. He didn't know how to tell her that sometimes, Remus felt so sick that he just couldn't do rounds alone. On those nights, James went with him to scout ahead and deal with any real trouble. Sometimes Remus was just too weak around the full moon to do his job and James hated seeing Remus try to be so good when he felt so bad.

"I like to go looking for trouble."

His Evans-friendly answer was accepted immediately by the red-haired witch. She snorted and shook her head, seemingly unsurprised by his snark.

"Yes, you certainly do."


	5. ...Ready For It?

_Chapter 5:_

_I see nothing better_

_I'll keep him forever_

_like a vendetta_

The Slytherin table was a bustling hub of student gossip the third week of classes. Nervous first years asked over-confident second years where the loos were and actually knowledgeable fifth years had to step in and help. Not too far from Lily, a group of sixth years were trading wizard cards, arguing over a rare Morgana card. Lily's seventh year peers happened to be chatting about the results of a quidditch match played by Ireland over the weekend. A part of Lily felt back at home with the normal buzz of chatter over oatmeal but a part of her missed sitting in her quiet kitchen while her Dad made breakfast over a sizzling skillet.

Lily couldn't stop yawning as she looked over her schedule for the sixth time that morning, trying to memorize the nights she had rounds with Potter. She hadn't slept well the night before, mostly due to a long night of rounds with Potter that ended up going over schedule thanks to a third year with a hinkypunk. She hadn't bothered doing anything to her hair so, of course, it hung around her face and constantly got in her eyes. Sev was next to Lily, quiet, as he read the newspaper. A sharp elbow jap in Lily's ribs made Lily lower her schedule and look at her friend curiously.

She laughed as she scooted away from his bony elbow, "Merlin, Sev, I'm gonna bruise there."

Sev didn't say anything, instead he passed Lily the newspaper and used his index finger to point at a small column at the bottom of the first page. Lily's eyes zeroed in on the article with interest only to immediately replace her smile with a frown.

_Muggleborn Dead: Muggle Family Missing Following Mysterious Attack_

Lily clenched her teeth and passed the newspaper back to Sev, too disgusted to read on. Sev sent her a weird look as she passed the paper back, as if he were trying to read her mind. Lily turned back to her breakfast, determined not to let him see how the column ruined her appetite. Sev was always quick to point out the mentions of Lily's secret bloodline in the newspapers. She knew he did it so that she could stay up to date on the news but sometimes it really stung her. She didn't know how to tell Sev that she wished he would stop, as she believed he was genuinely just trying to remind Lily that she was safe and to be grateful.

It was hard to be grateful when people with families like Lily's were dying in a war outside the Hogwarts halls.

Over the summer, Lily had been following the news on the tellie every night, enough that her parents started asking her if something was wrong. Lily always lied of course, her parents were blissfully unaware of the dangers in the wizarding world. Lily knew that Sev's father had no idea what was happening because he preferred to pretend magic wasn't real. Lily wondered if Mr. Snape would've stayed in Spinners End had his wife not died and left him with Sev who was basically considered a nuisance to his own father.

Lily glanced at Sev out of the corner of her eye and worriedly addressed the circles under his eyes and the sallow tone to his skin. He always looked worse coming back from summer, but this summer was different, Sev didn't just look worse, he acted worse too. Sev had started complaining at every chance possible about James Potter getting Head Boy. Sev didn't trust Potter as far as he could throw him and made it very clear that he didn't like that Lily would be spending a large amount of time around his arch nemesis. Sev seemed to think that Potter would somehow figure out Lily's secret and spill it to the rest of the class.

Although she wasn't always able to play the part of half-blood, Lily personally thought she hid her bloodline rather well. Besides, she was tired of playing the role Sev had created at eleven in order to protect her from Mulciber and Avery. Now, the people around Lily weren't threatening. Theo Knott was certainly a bigot and his mates Rosier and Crabbe were oily gits...but they weren't dangerous…just stupid. Lily had Amelia, who might've been dating Knott, but she'd never gone out of her way to make comments about muggleborns or muggles despite her pureblood status.

Of course, Lily didn't know how much longer that would last what with Knott and Rosier hanging out more. Rosier was basically Mulciber but without the preying on muggleborn girls in the hallways after curfew. Instead, Rosier was a preacher, telling anyone who would listen about how the Ministry had turned soft and muggles needed to be regulated.

Lily looked around the Slytherin table and wondered what would happen if her secret ever did get out. Amelia and Knott might take Lily's side, if only because Severus would, and they'd known each other the longest. Although, Lily doubted Knott would publicly acknowledge Lily once he found out as his father hated muggles and even ran a petition to get muggles banned from entering Diagon Alley to take kids school shopping. Amelia had never given Lily a reason to believe she wouldn't honor their seven-year friendship but then again, Amelia often agreed with Knott who often agreed with Rosier.

In the end, Lily figured that Sev would really be the only one in Slytherin who'd understand and defend her.

Lily glanced sideways at her oldest friend and saw Sev was examining her schedule now, comparing it to his own. They had most of the same classes together, the only difference being that Lily got a spare period when he was in Care of Magical Creatures. Lily's extra time was to work on her extracurriculars seeing as she was both Head Girl and Quidditch Captain. Apparently, Potter had the same time off as Lily, just in case they needed to work on schedules, detention slips, or Hogsmede plans.

The bell rang, signaling all students to get to their first class. Lily grabbed her cup, bringing her tea to-go since she hadn't finished drinking it. Lily's bag was weighed down with old notebooks covered in doodles from other classes. Amelia followed behind with Knott and his cronies in tow. The other Slytherins, including Sev, followed from behind. Most of them were complaining about the earliest class being Defense Against the Dark Arts. Lily, for one, was excited to go to Defense as she was very intrigued by the new Professor.

Professor Rogers had been quiet the first three weeks of class, learning everyone's names and asking the students to fill out personal quizzes. She said that she was trying to get a feel for where her students were at in their education since they'd had a new teacher each year. Lily didn't blame Rogers for trying to figure out what level her students were at since the curriculum always changed with each teacher. So far, Rogers seemed like a good teacher, but she hadn't gotten around to actually teaching anything. Lily was worried that Professor Rogers might end up leaving the first month in, once she realized how little the students had actually learned in seven years.

No teacher every stayed on the Defense Against the Dark Arts chair past a year. In Lily's fifth year, they went through three Professors for Defense Against Dark Arts. Rumors had it that the position itself was cursed. Lily was starting to believe it might be true.

Sev caught up with Lily as the entered the classroom's corridor. Lily smiled sideways at her friend before staring ahead where she saw James Potter laughing with his mates.

Sev fell into step at her side, "So how were rounds last night?"

Lily ripped her eyes away from Potter's head of messy hair, "Do you feel the need to ask that after every night I have rounds with Potter?"

Severus crossed his arms, "I just want to make sure he's not being a prat."

Lily sent Sev a stubborn look, "Sev, it's Potter. He's always being a prat."

"So, you hate doing rounds with him?" Sev asked hopefully.

"I never said that," Lily muttered, "in fact, they aren't horrible. We just talk about classes and sometimes he brings sugar quills."

Lily wasn't lying. She honestly didn't dread going to her rounds with Potter. They only had them twice a week and half of their time was spent delivering detention to horny students snogging in the trophy room. Potter always bet with her how many kids they'd find snogging each night. Sometimes it was even fun. Potter had a sense of humor that made it hard to hate him. In fact, Lily was rather starting to enjoy his goofy personality.

"Potter didn't try hexing you since he already got a decent shot in on Gansley?"

Lily eyed Sev moodily at the mention of the prefect thorn in her side, "Gansley?"

Sev rolled his eyes, "Everyone heard what happened in the prefect's compartment on the train, Lily."

"Well Gansley was being a prat." Lily hitched her bag up farther on her shoulder, "although, I can't say I'd call Potter's execution of his irritability, _productive_."

"I can't believe he punched Gansley," Sev muttered, his black eyes zeroing in on Potter's form ahead of them by fifty paces, "What an arse."

Lily tilted her head, perplexed, "He didn't?"

"What?"

Lily defended her Head Boy, "Potter hexed Gansley, he didn't punch him."

"As if that's better," Sev sniffed smugly, always critical of Potter.

"Gansley was being a prat." Lily said, "he was making shit comments about Potter and I both getting the lead positions. Potter was just defending us."

"Oh, so it's okay to hex people now?" Sev sounded annoyed and Lily saw his ears were tinged red.

"Of course not." Lily appeased him, "I didn't agree with Potter's methods. After all, starting a duel doesn't get you brownie points as the new Head Boy...but if I weren't Head Girl...I'd most certainly have hexed Gansley too."

"I'm sure whatever Gansley said couldn't be that appalling." Sev said, "Potter always overreacts at even the littlest prod to his pride."

"Trust me." Lily played with the ends of her braid irritably as she recalled Gansley's insolence on the train, "Gansley was being absolutely deplorable."

Lily entered the Defense room, eyes searching for an empty seat near the back. Sophie Turner waved from a section close to the door and Lily quickly made her way over to the Ravenclaw girls she recognized. The tea in her cup spilled a bit onto her wrist as she fell into her seat, so she licked the tea from her skin as she set her books on the table. Sev took the empty seat next to Lily, his hair falling into his face as he sat down. Another seventh year Slytherin named Carrington Crabbe took the empty seat in front of Lily.

Lily sighed in distress, Crabbe was on the quidditch team with her and had been bothering her since start of term about quidditch practice. Even after she'd told him off at least twice, Crabbe still turned to her and opened his large mouth to complain in Lily's direction again.

"When is the first practice?" he demanded, "Hooch opened up the pitch yesterday!"

Lily crossed her arms and glared at Crabbe, "cool it, Crabbe. I'll get a practice sheet up by tomorrow."

"Listen," he acted like he didn't hear her, "You should step down and let me take over. You've already got your plate full with Head duties. I can go to Hooch and get Slytherin pitch times while you're busy catching snoggers on the fourth floor."

"Crabbe we will get good practice times, don't worry." Lily heavily sighed.

Crabbe seemed unconvinced, "Don't let Gryffindor get the good pitch times, Evans."

"I'm Captain of this team." Lily retorted impatiently, "and as Captain I will get us good pitch times! Just trust me."

"Well seeing as you didn't go straight to Hooch this morning," Crabbe said, "I'd say you're already failing on that promise."

"Crabbe if you don't stop pestering Lily I'll hex you." Sev said warningly from next to Lily, "She said she'd get the good pitch times and she _will_."

Crabbe sent Sev the finger before looking Lily up and down with a foul stare,"Potter has probably already met with Madame Hooch about pitch times and scored Gryffindor all the afternoon slots."

"Potter couldn't have taken the slots." Lily disagreed, looking around Crabbe's wide shoulders at their new teacher who was starting to begin class, "I was with him on rounds all last night and he would've had to have woken up bright and early to meet with Madame Hooch."

"What if he _did_?"

"Based on the fact that I saw him at breakfast?" Lily snorted, "It's very doubtful."

Professor Rogers was leaning against her desk, legs crossed as she read off a class roster. She had her red hair twisted into a bun at the nape of her neck and her robes were colored with pretty poppies. The woman also wore two-inch heels, giving her a taller appearance despite the fact that if Lily stood next to her, Professor Rogers would be shorter. She had clever eyes and always painted her lips a dark plum color.

Rogers looked up and cleared her throat before calling for courtesy, "time to start class!"

Everyone shut up except for Crabbe, who was still turned towards Lily, "You only got Captain because of Slughorn and if we lose decent pitch times to Gryffindor because of your incompetence, I'll personally bat a bludger at your head so hard, that you'll be on the bench for the rest of the season."

Lily was aware that everyone could hear them arguing now, but that didn't stop her from saying furiously, "you can't even bat well enough to hit a stationary broomstick Crabbe, so don't be disappointed if I take that threat lightly."

Laughter erupted in the classroom and Crabbe seemed to realize they'd just been heard by everyone in the classroom. Gryffindor students were snickering into their hands behind the small group of Slytherins. Crabbe's dark skin flushed and his lips thinned out angrily. Lily challenged Crabbe's furious expression with a smirk aimed to bruise his arrogance. Professor Rogers crossed her arms as she pushed off the edge of her desk to glare pointedly at Crabbe.

"Please take your seat, Mr. Crabbe."

"Fine." Crabbe muttered as he turned around in his seat so that he was no longer towering over Lily, "Evans started it."

Professor Rogers turned her eyes onto Lily next. Lily put her chin in her hands and sent the Professor an innocent smile. Professor Rogers' eyebrows flew into her hairline at Lily's brazen grin.

"Was there something you wished to add, Miss Evans?" Professor Rogers asked Lily.

"No." Lily said as the giggles around the classroom died down, "I'm quite content now."

Professor Rogers said curtly, "I wonder, Miss Evans, are you as quick as a wand as you are with your words?"

Lily squared her shoulders, "I'd like to think so."

Professor Rogers hummed thoughtfully as she withdrew her wand from her pocket, "have you ever dueled anyone, Miss Evans?"

Lily shrugged, "No, not really."

A flash of intrigue appeared on Professor Roger's pointed face, "stand up with your wand then, Miss Evans."

Lily's self-confidence fell, "Wait, what?"

"Let's duel," Professor Rogers said calmly as she motioned for Lily to stand, "Come on, let's see how witty you can be in a duel."

"Er," Lily felt all eyes on her as she stood up, her wand gripped in her left hand warily, "Duel who?"

"Me, Evans. You're going to duel me."

"Duel a teacher?" Lily's voice broke and she was positive her face was beet red.

Professor Roger's might've been shorter than Lily by an inch or two, but she held herself like she could kill Lily with one word. Lily felt as if her whole body as on fire as she maneuvered herself to the front of the classroom. She'd never actually dueled anyone, especially not a Professor. Rogers didn't even look remotely scared and that threw Lily off considerably. Lily felt like she was walking into a cage with a wild, hungry lion.

Rogers motioned with two fingers for Lily to step even closer and far away from the desks, "on the count of three, Miss Evans. Try and disarm me."

Lily shook as she raised her wand. Her eyes flickering fleetingly to her left and she saw everyone in the class watching with bated breath. Lily's yes turned back to Professor Rogers who had taken a wide stance, her blue eyes glimmering dangerously as she started counting down. Lily sucked in a large breath of air, trying to remember the disarming spell.

"One, two…three!"

" _Expelliarmus_!" Lily screeched, arching her wand high.

" _Protego_ ," Professor Rogers moved like a panther, even in heels. She was so quick that Lily blinked and suddenly, Professor Rogers was closer and had her wand aimed at Lily's hand, " _Expelliarmus_."

Lily's wand went flying out of her hand before she could even utter her next words. The wand arched high into the air and fell onto the floor by the doorway. Lily looked down in shock at her empty hand, she hadn't even lasted five seconds in her first real duel. What was the point of being top of the class if she couldn't even duel properly?

Rogers' voice was soft but poignant, cutting through Lily's shock, "Don't expect me to baby you in this classroom. Everything we do in this class will be preparing you for the war outside these walls."

Lily's eyes flickered up at the Professor on those words. Professor Rogers walked around Lily and bent down to pick up Lily's wand. Lily humbly accepted her wand as Professor Rogers offered it with a kind smile. Lily smiled back, but her smile didn't reach her heart. She felt like a failure.

"The trick." Professor Roger's told them as Lily returned to her seat, "is not to hesitate. The dangers out there certainly won't hesitate to kill you, so you can't hesitate to disarm them."

Sev patted Lily on the back as she sat down in her abandoned seat. Amelia shared a sorrowful smile with Lily, as did Sophie Turner. Lily stared at her wand in her hands, feeling like a failure of a witch.

"This isn't Defense Against the Dark Arts anymore," Professor Rogers walked over to the blackboard and grabbed a piece of chalk, "I looked aver all your scores and while you lot could pass NEWT level exams, you all lack experience in application of spells."

All the students watched as Professor Rogers crossed out the words spelling out the name of the class with one thick white line. Lily squinted so she could read the new letters Rogers was scribbling across the blackboard.

_Welcome to Dueling 101_

"Dueling?" Kip Gansley spoke up from his spot in the middle of several Ravenclaws, "we went over dueling in second year."

"I'm sure you read about dueling." Professor Rogers turned her eyes upon Gansley, "But reading about something as opposed to actually attempting something are two entirely different tasks."

Rogers leaned back up against her chalkboard and surveyed the entire class with slow moving blue eyes. Lily felt Sev sit up straighter when Professor Rogers scanned their section of the room, her gaze resting on the snake emblem on their robes. Lily didn't know why, but a small smile rose on Professor Roger's face.

Professor Rogers promised, "After today, this classroom will no longer have desks. Instead, it will be empty to allow two students to duel using the various methods that I aim to teach you." Rogers pulled the class roster out of her pocket, "Monday, I want Greta Catchlove and Severus Snape to duel."

Greta Catchlove, a Gryffindor seventh year with braids and a knack for nothing but potions, sank longer in her seat. Sev leaned around Lily to send Catchlove a challenging look like a predator would look at its prey. Lily felt bad for Catchlove, Severus knew his spells and preformed them well. That, and he'd been practicing dueling (thanks to the bullies in the school) since he was eleven.

"This month we will be focusing on charms in defense." Professor Rogers explained, "I suggest all of you start reading up on defensive charms and be ready for me to call on any of you for a verbal pop quiz."

Remus Lupin spoke up from beside Sirius Black, "Professor?"

"Yes?" Rogers turned on her heel to observe Lupin with her kind eyes, "Lupin, correct?"

"Remus Lupin," Lupin agreed before asking, "I was wondering, can we opt out?"

Rogers laughed softly, "you mean forfeit?"

Lupin nodded, "could we? If we didn't feel comfortable with who you paired us with?"

Rogers shook her head no, "you don't get to pick your dueling partners in the real world, Mr. Lupin." She said, "so I don't think I'd be teaching you anything if I allowed you to stay inside your comfort zone."

Rogers instructed the class to split into groups and discuss some things they already knew about dueling. She assigned each of them to write a short essay on their experience in dueling as well. All in all, it was an interesting class that left the seventh years talking long after the class itself had ended. Lily was rather eager to get a chance to try out several new defense charms that she'd read about over the summer. Some students, like Theo Knott and Sev, were excited to get the chance to duel other students.

Lily overheard Knott saying to Sev in Potions, "think I can get put against a muggleborn? I'd love to show someone like MacDonald what real magic looks like."

Sev paused before addressing Knott, "I dunno," Sev tried to keep his voice nonchalant, "but I hope I get a shot at Black instead of Catchlove."

"Catchlove will be easy like Evans was."

Sev glanced back and saw Lily's sour look in Knott's direction. Sev's face twisted and he didn't speak to Knott the rest of the class. Knott then turned his attention on Amelia, which only made matters worse because Amelia was Lily's partner. Lily was subject to Knott's voice for the rest of the class and Lily suddenly wished she was allowed to be Severus' partner in potions. Sadly, Slughorn had paired Lily with Amelia at the start of class.

Lily all but bolted from the potions classroom the minute that class ended. Her escape was partially to avoid another ten minutes of Theo Knott's monotone voice in her ear but ultimately, Lily was determined to beat Potter to the quidditch pitch. Lily knew Potter had the same time off class too and he'd likely go to try and secure the pitch for Gryffindor. Lily had to get to the quidditch sign up sheet before Potter because even though she couldn't admit it to Crabbe...Lily hated early morning practices as much as everyone else.

"Evans!"

She'd made it to the Quidditch Pitch when Potter's familiar voice sliced through her subconscious. She could pick his deep tones out anywhere after spending so much time with him on rounds. They'd both been smart to leave quidditch out of their conversations, up until now, and Lily was a little disappointed they were bound to argue over pitch times. Arguing with Potter would just make rounds uncomfortable and she liked them the way they were.

Lily turned to find Potter bellowing spiritedly from about twenty paces away. He waved at her wildly, his smile wide.

"I think we can take professional dueler off the list of future jobs for you, eh?"

"What are you doing out here?" Lily questioned, overlooking his mocking enquiry.

Potter jogged a bit and caught up to Lily, "I'm not allowed to take a walk in the gorgeous September weather?"

"You are," Lily muttered, "but we both know why you're really at the pitch after classes let out."

"And why is that?"

"Potter." Lily's tone held a warning not to push her.

Potter looked amused by her irritability, "my mate Sirius overheard you say that you were on your way out here to sign up for pitch times and I couldn't just let you swipe all the good times right out from under my nose."

"Let me guess," Lily crossed her arms and looked him over once, "You want the morning on the weekends and evenings on weekdays."

Potter pushed his glasses up his nose with his index finger, "What made you guess my exact plan?"

"Because those are the times I wanted," Lily stated obviously, "And we can't _both_ have the the good pitch times."

"So, what do you propose that we do?" Potter asked, "our teams can't practice at the same time."

"I propose a compromise." Lily suggested.

Potter seemed unconvinced, "Can there even be a compromise?"

"My team gets afternoons on odd days and Gryffindor can practice on even days." Lily suggested, "That leaves Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw to fight for the morning practices."

Potter pretended to ponder, "Hmm, it _seems_ reasonable."

"It _is_ reasonable." she said as the the shadows of the massive quidditch pitch fell onto her shoulders, "and they are the only terms that I'll accept."

"The only terms?"

"Unless Gryffindor is willing to be charitable and give Slytherin all the afternoon slots?"

"Yeah," Potter grunted, "not likely, Evans."

They reached the door on the side of the pitch that led into a little shack that housed broomsticks and Madame Hooch's office. Lily knocked twice and there was no answer. Knowing that they might be a little early to catch Hooch, Lily leaned against the doorframe casually. Her eyes traced Potter's figure as he danced on the balls of his feet and glanced up to the castle as if he were looking for Hooch among the trees and grass. When Potter didn't see Hooch, his eyes fell on Lily leaning against the doorframe.

"So," he said conversationally, shoving his hands into his pockets, "Have you really never really dueled anyone before?"

"Does that surprise you?" Lily asked, hating that they were back to the embarrassing topic that was Defense Against the Dark Arts.

"Well, yeah." Potter stated, "considering I've seen your quick wand work when you're angry. I had boils for three days straight in second year when you caught me and Snive-I mean-when Snape and I were in a bit of a kerfuffle."

"Hexing someone and dueling someone are two entirely different things." Lily said defensively, "I've never tried to disarm someone before."

"Why not?" Potter asked, "I try disarming Sirius every other day at home. It's fun!"

"We're not supposed to do magic outside of school." Lily said.

"No one actually follows that rule."

"I do."

"Bollocks. You're telling me that your parents never offered to teach you how to duel properly?"

Lily froze and was aware of Potter awaiting her answer, but she suddenly felt like she couldn't breathe. Lily's parents rarely came into conversation and here, this boy who hardly knew her, was asking Lily if her parents ever taught her magic. They'd never even known magic was real until Lily's Hogwarts letter.

"No," she whispered, put-out, "they never taught me."

Potter tilted his head adorably, his hair falling into his eyes, "Why?"

Lily crossed her arms defensively and shrugged as she glanced at the ground, "They're pretty busy."

"And Snape never offers to practice with you?" Potter asked, "he _loves_ dueling. Corners me every day."

"Potter." Lily shot him a look and he put his hands up in defense.

"Okay fine," Potter said, "it's every _other_ day."

Lily sighed and tugged on her hair, "Sev says you still bully him, for fun, with your mates."

"Self-defense is not bullying." Potter retorted, "Merlin, he acts like the victim but three days ago he had me dangling by my ankle just because I bumped his shoulder in the hallway."

Lily furrowed her brow, "I didn't see that."

"You weren't there." Potter said, "I think you were getting detention slips."

"Well," Lily said, "Did you hit him on purpose?"

"No," Potter rolled his eyes, "Contrary to popular belief Evans, I don't fancy fighting in hallways every other day."

"Could've fooled me." Lily cooed unsympathetically, "you did ask Sev if he owned shampoo once in front of everyone in the library and then spell-ed soap water onto his head as he walked away."

Potter pretended to think back, "Can't recall that."

But based on his grin, Lily knew he remembered.

"Why do you hate him so much?" Lily asked, genuinely curious, "Ever since you met him, you've hated him, and he's hated you."

"Evans, Snape was a weird kid." Potter reasoned, "and he didn't grow out of it."

Lily pursed her lips, "He's always had trouble expressing himself. Even when we were kids he tried really hard to make people like him."

"He knows more curses than half of seventh year." Potter said, "that's not trying to make people like him, that's making people scared of him."

"And what about you?" Lily said slyly, "you know just as many hexes and spells as Sev. Do you think people are scared of you?"

"It's one thing to know your schoolwork." Potter debated, "it's another to have an entire dark magic book memorized from the restricted section."

"Severus would never memorize a book like that," Lily vowed on behalf of her oldest friend, "He's always doing potions work. He wants to be a potions master."

"For the Death Eaters?" Potter asked unintelligibly.

Lily narrowed her eyes into slits, "Look Potter, I know you think every Slytherin just walks out of Hogwarts ready to join the Death Eaters but some of us have dreams, you know. Severus wants to open his own potions shop one day."

Potter quirked a brow at her, "How long have you known Snape?"

Lily shrugged, "since we were nine or ten; we met on the playground as kids."

"And he's never once expressed interest in dark arts?" Potter's voice was ridden with disbelief, "He's always said he wants to be a potioneer?"

"Yes." Lily rolled her eyes, "we both want to go back to our hometown and brew. I know he's trying to fit in with the blokes in our year, and that's made him turn into a prat around them, but if I thought for one second he was going that dark? I would never speak to him again."

Potter was quiet, pondering. She didn't continue the conversation and instead let it drop. They stood outside Hooch's office for a few more moments before the silence was too deafening. She was used to Potter carrying the conversation, but he was uncharacteristically silent.

"So," she led the conversation just as he had only awkwardly, "did you do tryouts?"

Potter nodded, "Yeah, we got three new players this year. You?"

"We had try outs last week. I took on three new players as well."

Potter nodded and then looked down at the grass again, clearly not invested in the new topic. Lily chewed her lip, hating the silence as they waited for Hooch.

"So, do you agree to my terms to share the pitch?" she stuck out her hand, striking a deal with the devil.

Potter sighed and didn't answer right away but then he shook her outstretched hand, "Fine, but I'm only agreeing to this because my chasers threatened to burn me alive if I came back to the common room with morning practices."

"I'm sure you heard Crabbe this morning in Defense," Lily offered, "So my reasons for agreeing to this deal are very similar to yours."

Potter let go of her hand and his fingers automatically retreated into his hair as he chuckled, "Yeah, Crabbe was an arse, I wish Rogers had let you duel him instead of her."

Lily arched a brow, "I got disarmed in two seconds, Potter."

Potter smiled, "You were dueling Professor Rogers, Evans. She used to be an Auror at the Ministry. Don't beat yourself up too bad. She could disarm any of us in her sleep."

Lily perked up when Potter mentioned Roger's time at the ministry, "you know her?"

Potter shrugged, "not really," he said, "I heard her talking to Professor McGonagall. Something happened and Rogers decided to come teach at Hogwarts."

"Wow." Lily muttered, picking at her nail polish, "An Auror for a professor."

"Reckon she'll last longer than a year?" Potter asked jokingly, "since no one can seem to keep down a job?"

"I hope she lasts." Lily said, "she's the only Defense Professor we've ever had who seems to care about us when we leave the classroom."

"Luckily," Potter said, "We've got months before we have to face whatever's out there waiting for us."

"A fight?" Lily said, "A war is waiting for us."

"The only fight I'm focused on is the one where Gryffindor gets the quidditch cup." Potter joked.

Lily tilted her head at him playfully, "not looking forward to dueling one of your classmates?"

"Sure, as long as I don't have to go against someone like Catchlove." Potter said, "Rogers seems serious about dueling though, so who knows what she'll do when it comes to me."

Lily nodded, "I noticed that too." She said, "I hope she counts my duel from today so I don't have to embarrass myself again.

Potter leaned up against the wall next to Lily, "I've never met a teacher who didn't care about exams like NEWTs." he said, "she's different."

"I like different." Lily said, "I think it'll be good to learn how to duel."

"And if anyone knows how to duel it's a retired auror." he was kicking the grass below his feet lazily, "they duel a lot of dark wizards and she seems like she's pretty knowledgeable."

Lily shrugged, unable to provide an answer because she didn't know much about aurors except that they often tried to capture dark wizards and put them in the wizarding jail. Lily had once thought it'd be cool to be an auror but then Sev told her that muggleborns rarely get picked to be aurors because of their blood status. Once again, her blood thwarted her.

Potter continued on, as if he hadn't noticed Lily's sudden silence, "what's your favorite Swift broomsticks song?"

Lily looked up from her shoes and right into his eyes. She was rarely close to Potter, seeing as they spent most of their time in separate houses with separate friends. Being so close to him now allowed her to see that his eyes weren't actually a dark hazel as she'd previously assumed. Instead, a dark russet color, lit by the sun, surrounded his pupils and a pretty dark grey speckled along the russet. His eyes were like mosaic art that shifted in color each time he blinked.

Potter waited patiently for her answer, Lily finally registered the question and racked her brain for an answer.

"I Know Places." she said, "it's the first song I heard from them in third year."

Potter looked amused as he quoted a lyric from her pick, " _Loose lips sink ships all the damn time_?"

Lily played with her hair, "I mostly adore the melody, it's so fun."

"I dunno." Potter scratched his head, "It's a good song but lyrically speaking, I don't think it's their best."

"Oh yeah?" she challenged, "And what's your favorite song, Mr. Lyrically-Speaking?"

Potter chuckled before he admitted, "Long Live."

" _That's_ your favorite?"

"Come on Evans," Potter said, " _You held your head like a hero on a history book page?_ That's genius! And, _it was the end of a decade but the start of an age?_ Lyrical masterpiece."

"If we're talking lyrical masterpiece then All Too Well wins." Lily argued, " _Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it? I'd like to be my old self again, but I'm still trying to find it?_ That's the most gorgeous bridge on earth!"

Potter laughed and held up his hands in defense, "okay, okay, you're right! All Too Well is a masterpiece."

Lily smirked, "Of course I'm right!" she said smugly, "I'm always right!"

"Hello!"

Madame Hooch suddenly appeared carrying a large basket of washed quidditch banners. Lily and Potter grew silent. Lily bit her lip as she realized they'd gotten closer to each other as they fought over Swift Broomstick lyrics. Lily's pinky was just about to brush against his hand if she leaned anymore in his direction. She moved her hand to her pocket quickly, not allowing herself to touch Potter even accidentally.

He'd surprised her, she couldn't believe how easy it was to fall into a conversation with Potter. Sure, they'd been arguing but it had been friendly arguing...over something they were both passionate about. Lily's smile didn't fade as she met Madame Hooch's eyes.

"Miss Evans. Mr. Potter." Hooch looked between the two students leaning on the wall near her door, "I assume you're here to sign up your teams?"

"Yes." Lily smiled at the referee, "mind if we go into your office with you and sign up?"

"Not at all." Hooch motioned for the students to follow her, "I was just about to start on some paperwork."

Hooch's office was a little shack underneath the stands. Inside were posters of old quidditch teams that covered the walls. Various broomsticks were leaning up against an old table where the sign-up sheet lay, untouched. Potter got there first, signing Gryffindor up for all the even days under Lily's watchful eye.

"No fighting?" Hooch asked, impressed, "Last year I had to break up a duel between Mr. Potter and Mr. Flint."

"Evans and I reached an agreement." Potter said as he finished filling out the form, "Isn't that right, Evans?"

"An understanding yes." Lily answered melodically as she snatched the quill from him and started filling in Slytherin's practice times, "but my team will still kick your teams' arse."

"Whatever," Potter's tone was filled with amusement, "We all know my winning streak cannot be beat."

"Right," Lily put down her quill, "just you wait, Potter, I'm not letting Gryffindor win again this year."

They thanked Madame Hooch for letting them sign up their teams. She wished them well but only after reminding them that as captains it was their job to make sure everything was put back into place after practices.

Lily and Potter started back up towards the castle side-by-side. The air was growing cooler as the sun started disappearing behind the castle. A group of students were returning to the Entrance Hall, all of them covered in dirt from an adventure in the greenhouses. Lily and Potter fell into step with those students, both of them lost in their own minds. Potter still had his hands shoved into his pockets and they didn't speak again until they'd made it to the point where they split off.

"What are you up to for the rest of the day?" Potter asked her politely as they stood facing each other amongst the bodies of students leaving the last class of the day.

Lily shrugged, "probably head back to the common room to snuggle with my cat."

"You have a cat?" he asked, clearly interested.

Lily nodded, "Do you like cats?"

"If Sirius asks, I'm a dog person." Potter's eyes were twinkling, even without the sun in them, "but I had a cat when I was younger and loved her a lot."

"Juniper is the size of a small dog." Lily affectionately described her cat, "But that's only because she's the fattest cat that you'll ever see."

Potter snickered, "over-feeding your cat, Evans?"

"She has an endless supply of cat food in the dorm and I'm pretty sure Amelia sneaks her treats when I'm not looking." Lily laughed too, finding it hard not to laugh when he did.

"I'd very much like to meet your overweight cat one day." he said, "if only because I can't imagine a cat that big."

"She doesn't leave my bed much." she explained, "but maybe I'll bring her out before rounds one night and you can see her."

"Sounds great." Potter's smile was so bright and warm, it knocked Lily back a few paces as she realized how handsome he was.

"Well," Lily said, throat suddenly dry, "I'd, uh, better go."

"Yeah," Potter sighed and took a step away from her, "Me too, I told Sirius I'd meet him before dinner."

"Bye."

Lily gave him an awkward wave before she made her way back to the Slytherin Common room. On her way there she contemplated how civil they'd just been. She'd liked it, talking to him about something other than quidditch or house rivalries. Potter might be a conceited git, but he was also shockingly easy to talk too once they'd set aside their differences.

Lily spent the rest of her free time working on a schedule for the Quidditch team that she posted on the common room boards. While she was pinning the papers down for her teammates to find after dinner, Lily spotted that someone had written nasty words about muggleborns on the boards. She spent about fifteen minutes pulling the vile posters from the common room walls and burning them in the fireplace.

Lily supposed the same things must've been happening in the other houses too. The hatred towards muggleborns only seemed to grow day-by-day. It upset Lily, who already had a hard enough time keeping herself from spilling the truth about her family. She'd promised her mother that she'd try to get an internship at the Ministry but often Lily wondered if it was even worth applying if they'd just throw away her application once they found out she was muggleborn.

Lily fell onto her bed in the girls' dorm. Juniper meowed loudly in protest when Lily shoved the fat black cat off her favorite pillow. Juniper took revenge by laying across Lily's lap, covering Lily's green robes in long black cat hairs. Amelia appeared sometime later, moving quietly because she assumed Lily was sleeping. Lily turned to stare at her roommate with one open eye. Amelia smiled enthusiastically when she saw Lily was awake.

"You okay, Lily?" Amelia asked as she pulled her school robes off to replace them with casual robes for dinner, "You look a bit tired."

"I'm very tired." Lily corrected, "I had to go sign Slytherin up for practice and make new calendars, and then I had to spend twenty minutes tearing down posters that someone put up in the common room."

"Posters?" Amelia squinted at Lily, "About what?"

"Muggleborns."

Knowledge flashed on Amelia's face, "Oh."

"Do you know who did it?"

"No." Amelia didn't meet Lily's eyes which told Lily that Amelia was lying, "Besides, it's just a few posters."

"It's demeaning and wrong." Lily said sensitively.

Amelia hesitated before she came to sit down on Lily's bed. Amelia shifted Lily's body over to make room and Juniper to protested again. Lily soothed the cat with a few pats on the head. Juniper swatted at Lily's hand ungratefully. Amelia folded her hands into her lap and stared at them.

"Listen, Lily," she finally said, "You've really got to be careful."

"Careful with what?" Lily half laughed, not sure where Amelia was going.

"The way you speak up for muggleborns!"

Lily sat up straight and her eyebrows flew up.

"What's wrong with speaking up for muggelborns, Amelia?"

"Theo hates it Lily, he says it's awkward for him to be around you! I try to tell him that you're just a naturally kind person, but he really thinks you're some kind of blood traitor like Black in Gryffindor." Amelia bemoaned.

Lily pushed Juniper from her lap so she could sit up fully, "Blood traitor! Honestly, Amelia! You sound like Mulciber and his idiot friends!"

"Lily." Amelia complained, grabbing at Lily's arm sleeve, "just keep your opinions to yourself! I'm getting tired of having to persuade the boys that you're on our side."

Lily narrowed her eyes, "your _side_?"

Amelia ignored her, "I mean, just for once, don't attack Theo or Rosier or Crabbe anytime they mention mudbloods!"

"Amelia!" Lily ripped herself from Amelia's grasp, "Don't say that word!'

"It's _just_ a word." Amelia shot back, exasperated, "Everyone uses it! Stop being so sensitive Lily, this is what I'm trying to tell you! You're turning into one of them!"

"One of who?" Lily wailed, "Amelia, there's nothing _wrong_ with being muggleborn!"

"Stop saying that!" Amelia shook her head quickly as if she could change Lily, "Please! If you keep this up, people are going to get really angry Lily! I know you just try to see the best in people but Lily this isn't a game. You don't want to end up like Sirius Black and have a target on your head because you can't keep your opinions to yourself."

Lily couldn't believe Amelia was telling Lily to try and blend in even more to the people she couldn't stand. Lily couldn't believe Amelia was saying Lily needed to change because she made wizards like Rosier feel uncomfortable. It was in that moment that Lily realized Amelia was serious in wanting to keep Lily as a friend, only if Lily stepped back and let Knott and his friends continue to be muggle haters.

Lily crossed her arms and muttered sourly, "What do you even mean by Black has a target on him? He's pureblood."

Amelia pushed her blond hair back, her pink lips were pouted, "Ask Regulus Black and he'll tell you all about his reject of a brother."

Lily arched her brow at Amelia, "so just because you're pureblood, doesn't mean you're safe?"

"No!" Amelia grabbed Lily's hand, "And I'm worried about you, Lily. The more you stick up for the muggleborns, the more you're digging yourself into a grave with Black and every person like him that believes muggles and muggleborns have a right to learn about magic."

"Amelia, I'm half blood." Lily hissed, pulling apart from Amelia again, "where does that put _me_ in your list of traitors?"

"Oh." she looked Lily up and down, "Sorry, I forgot."

Lily stood up and muttered, "I wasn't lucky enough to be pureblood, so am I unworthy of magic too, Amelia? What about Sev? Are all half-bloods unworthy of magic? Or are you only allowed to be friends with a half blood who _doesn't_ contradict your boyfriend every time he's a bigot?"

Amelia's blue eyes shimmered agitatedly, "Lily, you're completely missing the point!"

"No," Lily said frostily, "I think I got the point, clearly."

Lily stormed from the room, slamming the door behind her. Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks. She stomped her way across the common room, holding onto her pride because it was all she had. Sev spotted her stalking to the hallways outside the common room that led back to the main castle. He chased after her, grabbing her hand and yanking her into a corner so no one could come across them.

"What is it?" he demanded, "Was it Potter? Because I'll-"

"No!" Lily blubbered, "No, Sev, it was Amelia."

"Amelia?" Sev appeared shocked, "What happened?"

Lily wiped the tears from her eyes, "Amelia just tried to tell me that I was out of line for telling Knott and the others to stop saying- _saying_ -to stop them from being arses!"

Sev grew still. Lily wiped her nose on her sleeves and shook her head as more words tumbled out of her mouth. Her voice echoed off the walls but she couldn't lower her voice when she was so upset.

"I asked Amelia if she knew who posted the anti-muggleborn posters in the common room and I could tell she was lying when she said she didn't know." Lily told Sev as fat tears rolled down her cheeks, "And then we got into a fight because Amelia told me that I shouldn't care about muggleborns and that I was going to end up like—like-like Sirius Black."

Sev regarded Lily with heavy eyes, "You are nothing like Black."

"I don't know," Lily snuffled noisily, "Apparently he has a target on his head for loving muggles? And everyone in our house knows that I don't like it when the muggleborns are picked on!"

"Yeah," he said, "I know, they all talk about quickly you are to correct them."

Lily hiccupped, "I'm just sick and tired of all these people talking shit about me and, indirectly, my family!"

Sev wrapped his long arms around her shoulders and pulled her into a hug as she cried into his shoulder. Sev's hands brushed down her hair as she tried to soften her cries. She was so tired of coming into Slytherin house and being constantly reminded that she didn't belong. Lily wanted nothing more than to shout from the top of the astronomy tower that she was muggleborn.

"None of them understand but I understand you, you know I do." Sev added, almost resentfully, "We don't get to choose who our family is."

Lily took in a deep breath as she buried her brow deeper into Sev's shoulder, "I can't do this anymore." she whispered, "I just want everyone to know."

"No." Sev warned, "That'll only make it worse. You know I'm right. No one will understand."

Lily shook her head, "I wish we'd never lied. I wish I'd gone into Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw."

"Hey!' Sev pulled her back by her shoulders and glared at her, "You would've had to deal with pureblood mania in any house. Look at Potter."

Lily ignored his pointed jab at her Head Boy, "I just want to graduate so I don't have to play this game anymore."

Sev's fingers retracted from her hair as he asked, "do you have rounds tonight?"

"No," Lily took in another large breath of air, "but I wish I did."

Severus stiffened, "Why?"

"So that I don't have to face Amelia." Lily confessed miserably, "I never want to speak to her again. Ever again."

"Lily," Sev reasoned, "You just disagreed."

"No," Lily snapped, "No, Sev. She meant every word she said about muggles not deserving to know magic. Muggles like my parents! Sev, I wish my parents could shop with me in Diagon Alley but because of people like Amelia and her boyfriend—they can't!"

"Lily please." Sev reasoned softly, putting his hands on her shoulders to try and calm her down with pressure on her, "I know you aren't happy lying but it's only a few more months and then you get to go back home. You can practice magic there and then, once it's safe, I can get you a job with me."

Lily pressed her fingers into her hair and pushed it back as she stared at her oldest friend. One day, she knew the pain would be just a bad memory, but right now Lily couldn't imagine a worse day. Besides Sev, Amelia had been Lily's friend since she was eleven. Lily didn't get along well with anyone else in her year and house.

Lily had never felt the sting of betrayal so deeply, not since her big fight with her sister Petunia in first year. Amelia clearly had chosen her side, she believed that muggles (and mudbloods) were unfit for a world of magic. Lily knew that Amelia had grown up in a pureblood family, but Lily had hoped after so many years, Amelia could learn to ignore the peer pressure around her.

"Sev?" Lily whispered, her green eyes searching Sev's sallow face worriedly, "promise me you won't ever be like them."

Something flickered across Sev's face, "Let's just go to bed." He murmured, taking Lily's hand and dragging her back to the common room, "I'm sure tomorrow, Amelia will apologize and this'll all be just a misunderstanding."

Lily protested against Severus' pull back into the common room filled with people who didn't like her, "Sev I don't want to go back in there. This wasn't a misunderstanding, I don't belong around people like them."

Severus' shoulders dropped as he turned back to find her pulled against his hold, "Lily," he pleaded, "if you run, it'll just make them talk more."

"Let them talk," Lily said proudly through her tears, "I'm _not_ ashamed of who I am."

"Lily, please." He begged one last time, "Just come inside. Tomorrow will be better."

Lily felt like she couldn't breathe as Sev led her back into the common room hand-in-hand. Even though all she wanted to do was go someplace where she could be alone, Sev was determined to make sure she wasn't alone. So instead he played two games of chess with her and worked on homework with her until she fell asleep on the small sofa by the fireplace.

It wasn't comfortable sleeping on the small sofa near the fireplace, but anything was better than letting Amelia see that she'd hurt Lily more than she could feasibly know. It was clear that over the summer, influence from her surroundings had turned Amelia into a hardcore purist. Lily had no room in her life for someone who spread unprecedented hate.

The next morning, Lily awoke to Sev laying sleep on the floor beside the sofa she'd slept on overnight. Although thankful to have Sev on her side, Lily couldn't help but wonder why he'd brushed over Amelia's comments. She didn't want to believe that even her best friend had fallen into the purist trap, but he certainly hadn't seemed eager to tell Amelia off for hurting Lily's feelings.

Lily tiptoed away from Sev on the floor and decided to go to the Great Hall for breakfast alone. It was a weekend, so the hallways were empty, most kids slept in on weekends. Lily didn't want to have to sit in classes with Amelia right after the fight, so she was thankful for a reason to disappear. It was only a few weeks into term, and Lily was already wishing she could go home, back to where she belonged.

Lily wasn't too hungry, thanks to her ever churning stomach, and so she decided to spend the rest of her Saturday in the library looking up defensive charms for Defense Against the Dark Arts. The library was mostly empty in the morning but after lunch, it filled up and Lily decided to seek refuge in the back stacks. She'd found a relatively good book on defense charms and was reading up on patronus' when someone fell into the seat in front of her.

Assuming it was Severus, Lily didn't lift her eyes from the pages of the book as she gave a short, "Hullo."

"Alright, Evans?"

Lily's eyes tore away from the pages at the sound of James Potter's lighthearted voice. He was wearing muggle slacks and a jumper made of red and gold yarn, looking entirely more muggle than Lily who wore her robes religiously. With tousled black hair that swept to one side of his head and a lopsided smile, he looked like trouble for her that afternoon. Lily welcomed trouble with a wide smile as it was the perfect distraction from her fight with Amelia.

Potter pulled back the empty chair across from her and the small desk wobbled as he took a seat. Lily stared at the quill tucked behind his ear and the ink that accompanied it, sliding along his neck. He also had his glasses sitting atop his head, pushed back as if he'd grown annoyed with them despite the fact that he was squinting at Lily like he couldn't see her.

"Are you studying alone?" he questioned, "where are your mates?"

"Where are yours?"

Lily hadn't let it escape her notice that Potter was not accompanied by Sirius Black or his two other mates. It was rare to find Potter alone, normally she only saw him by himself when it was time for rounds.

"My mates are up a few rows," he said chirpily, "they like to commandeer the window seats before the hippies in Hufflepuff get to them first."

Lily put down her book and eyed the way his jumper hugged his sides, "What did I do to win your esteemed presence, then?"

"I can't stop by and offer my Slytherin mate a good afternoon?" Potter placed a hand on his heart, "especially when she looks so lonely sitting all alone?"

"You and I both know that we could never actually be friends." Lily couldn't help the smile on her face, Potter had a way of making her smile with his idiotic proses.

"You never know until you try it." He chirped.

"First quidditch match comes around and you'll be wishing you'd never even suggested such a ridiculous idea."

Potter grimaced, "leave quidditch for the field, Slytherin."

Lily rolled her eyes, but her smile didn't leave her face, "What do you really want Gryffindor?"

Potter pointed at the charm's theory book on the desk, "That's actually the book I was looking to check out."

"Oh," Lily looked down at the book covered in blue binding and then back up to Potter, "looks like you'll have to wait for your chance to read it."

"I can't borrow it from you for a few seconds?"

"Patience is a virtue." Lily hummed.

"I just plan on copying the defense section onto a piece of parchment for class." Potter explained, "It'll take me fifteen minutes tops. Help a bloke out."

Lily countered, "what if I told you that I already wrote notes on the defensive chapter and I'm just reading the book for fun now?"

"Hm," Potter put his chin in his hand, "can I borrow the notes?"

"I only let my friends read my notes."

"Well, seeing as we've got a month until the first match," Potter winked, "Maybe we could _try_ continue being cordial to each other?"

Lily didn't know if it was the way his face seemed to glow or the dimples that accompanied his smile, but her hands reached into her bookbag and pulled out her notes on the charms defense. Lily found herself handing out a copy of the parchment to the Head Boy with a little wink that matched the one he'd just given her. Potter was just a stupefied. He stared at her curvy handwriting a moment before he regarded her thankfully.

"I guess this makes us friends."

Lily looked down and opened her book to hide her growing smile reacting to his optimistic tone, "call it what you want."

"What would you call us?" he leaned on his elbows and pulled her book down so that their eyes met again, "formally?"

"Friendly rivals." Lily replied sweetly as she lifted the book back to her eyes.

"Ah, I see," Potter sounded amused, "keep your friends close and—"

"Keep your enemies closer." Lily finished in a singing voice, meeting his eyes again and finding him absolutely beaming down her.

"Sneaky, snake." he said playfully, shuffling Lily's notes in his hands, "guess I'll see you around, Slytherin."

"Bye, Gryffindor."

His fingers traced the edges of the books as he started back in the direction he came from, humming the tune to a Swift Broomsticks song. The song was recognizable, as it was one of their more popular songs. Lily almost tried to call Potter back over, she almost invited him to study defense charms with her, but her invite got stuck in her throat as he walked away. Before he turned the corner, he glanced back at Lily and beamed again, making her own lips curve upwards in response.

James took what was left of her smile with him as he strutted out of her aisle and back to his real friends.


	6. When You Get Me Alone, It's So Simple

_Chapter 6:_

_For you, I would cross the line_

_I would waste my time_

_I would lose my mind_

_They say, "She's gone too far this time"_

_Lord, save me._

The end of September was frigid, especially for autumn. James and his mates woke up to frost covering all the dorm room windows. The Great Hall ceiling started predicting snow that morning and the hot oatmeal did nothing to warm James up before Defense Against the Dark Arts. James even shivered when he yawned as he and the other seventh year Gryffindors made their way to the classroom where the first day of dueling was commencing.

Greta Catchlove, picked by Professor Rogers last class to match against Severus Snape, seemed to be shaking in her boots as she led the way. Her two brown braids, normally perfect, were chaotic. In fact, every part of Greta looked frayed, as if she hadn't slept a wink the night before. Mary MacDonald had her arm thrown around Catchlove, another tell-tale sign that something was wrong, since Mary didn't always get along with Catchlove.

James elbowed Sirius, "What's up with Catchlove?"

Sirius' grey eyes were downcast as he answered, "apparently Catchlove is petrified that Snape is going to do more than disarm her."  
Remus spoke up from behind Sirius and James, "Snape wouldn't dare hurt another student in front of a teacher," he said, "he _tries_ to play innocent."

"We know better than that." Peter spoke up from beside Remus, likely remember the willow event the same as the others.

James' lips thinned out as he contemplated Snape's past actions around other students. He was the sneakiest bastard James had ever known. James glanced over his shoulder to the back of the hallway where Snape presently had his head down and his lips were moving at a fast rate. It would've appeared Snape was talking to the floor, had Lily Evans not been at his side, face screwed up in concentration. They were in the middle of a group of Ravenclaws, not with their usual crowd.

James recalled Lily dodging his questions in the library over the weekend. She'd been oddly cryptic as to where her friends were, and the rest of the weekend James had observed that she was spending even more time alone than was usual for her. At dinner she sat at the farthest end of the Slytherin table with Snape, their heads bent together as they talked. Once, James saw her with the rest of her quidditch team after practice, but she hadn't looked like her normal bright-eyed self as she spoke to a few of her teammates that night.

Still, Snape had been mysteriously stuck to Evans' side more than usual, leading James to believe something was happening in Slytherin house and Snape was keeping a eerily close eye on her.

Remus was playing with his robes, seeming nervous for Catchlove, "Snape can get, scary."

James turned his eyes to Remus, "I don't think he will in class, not with Evans around especially."

"What does Evans have to do with anything that git does?" Sirius scoffed, "It's not like he's ever cared before."

James lowered his voice, "That's the thing, I spoke to Evans and she seemed confused when I called Snape a-"

Sirius cut him off, "A git?"

"A arse?" Peter suggested.

"A waste of our breathable air?" Remus muttered bitterly, casting his own glance back to where Snape was with Evans.

"Yeah that pretty much sums it up." James stated, "only extra weird because she acted like I was attacking Snape like every other day and Snape was an absolute angel who didn't pick on muggleborns with the rest of his gang."

"I wish we were beating his arse into the flagstone every day." Sirius said, "But McGonagall would murder all of us."

"Not to mention we don't need another reason for Snape to want to spread my secret more." Remus muttered, "He'd love any excuse to ruin my reputation."

"I think he's more worried about his reputation with Evans than he is anyone else's." James ruffled his hair, "I think he lies to her about what happens when she's not around."

"Not our problem." Sirius said, "if she's dumb enough to believe him, she deserves it."

James winced, "She's only human, Sirius."

"She's a Slytherin." Sirius scoffed, "don't expect me to bend over backwards to be sympathetic for anyone who chooses to be in that disaster of a house."

"You can't choose what house you're put in." Peter disputed.

"I did," Sirius argued in return, "how else do you think I got out of that fucking mess of a house?"

As the four boys entered the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom James wondered, if Sirius could ask to stay out of a house, could someone ask to be placed _into_ a house. The more time James spent around Lily, the more he began questioning if she was truly as unfriendly and stuck-up as he once perceived. Even as the 7thyear students were all directed to go stand on one side of the classroom by Professor Rogers, James caught Lily's eye among the mass of students and sent her a approachable smile. Lily's face green eyes grew warm and kind as she sent him a polite wave despite the persistent shove of Snape away from James' direction.

Lily definitely wasn't who he thought she was, in fact, he wondered if she wasn't anything that anyone expected. Sure, she was a little rough around the edges but anyone keen would put up their guard around people like Avery and Knott. As Lily stood there, standing in the middle of the group of Slytherins who mostly snubbed her, she was masked by the sea of green robes but when she was apart from the Slytherins-she glowed like a bloody golden star.

James found it extremely intriguing that Lily's wit and snark was just a cover over her warm persona that shone when she patrolled late at night with James.

James only turned his attentiveness back to the class when he realized that Snape and Greta Catchlove were standing five feet apart, face to face, in the middle of the classroom. Students around James were betting who'd fall first. Poor Catchlove, as bothersome as she was, James felt bad that she didn't have many voices on her side.

Catchlove's wand arm was quivering as Snape stared down the end of his wand at her. As promised, all the chairs and tables had been removed from the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom to make a space big enough for the seventh years to start practicing their dueling. Greta's friends were cheering her on properly, even James offered some motivation, wanting nothing more than for Snape to drop to his arse in front of Catchlove. Professor Rogers stood by the windows in the back of the classroom, her blue eyes assessing both of her hand-picked students. Snape looked assertive as he waited to hear Rogers' countdown.

James was holding his breath. Despite not being a huge fan of Catchlove, James didn't think it was fair for Rogers to pit her against one of the best duelers in the school. Snape's obsession with dueling was scary and revolting. James had no idea how someone could get off at the thought of making someone as harmless as Greta Catchlove petrified.

"If I see any funny business," Professor Rogers said in her best menacing tone, "I will personally escort you to detention where you can scrub the entire owlery by hand with a toothbrush-understand?"

"Yes." the class said in unison.

Snape didn't answer Rogers, he was too busy concentrating on Catchlove. Catchlove's lips were wobbling with uneasy trepidation now. Everyone watching muttered to each other, wondering how this first duel would turn out. The talking only made Catchlove shake more.

"I thought Gryffindor's were supposed to be brave." James hard Knott chortle to his girlfriend, who giggled into her hand.

James turned his head to glower at the Slytherins, only to find Evans sending both of them death threats with her own stony stare. Aware they were being stared at by both the Head Boy and Girl, Knot rolled his eyes.

"Don't make me give you detention." Lily murmured to Knott and Greengrass.

"Chill, Evans." Knott said turning away from the Head Girl, "We were _just_ joking."

James saw Lily sigh, exasperated with her house mates. She caught James watching and he sent her a smile painted with the unique unity that had grown between them. James mouthed 'are you ok' in her direction and she nodded softly before sending her housemates cutting looks behind their back and mimed hitting them across the head. When she looked back at James her eyes were shimmering lightheartedly, giving him the impression that she was sharing a private joke with James. James laughed out loud a little and winked at her over the heads of the other students. When Lily turned away to watch Snape and Catchlove, her lips were still curled up with delight.

James chortled to himself too as he turned back to the two duelers, feeling the pit of his stomach churn as he memorized the look on her face before she'd turned back to Snape. He wished she'd come stand by him so that he could tell her that her housemates were pricks to her face…even if she already seemed to know it. A part of James wanted Lily to come spent class at his side, just so he could mess with her and earn more of her warm smiles that flickered way too quickly for James' personal taste.

Professor Rogers started counting down from five, her blue eyes captured on the two students in the middle of the room. James waited for Rogers' mouth to form the words 'one' and that's when three things happened all at once. First, Snape bellowed a disarming spell at Catchlove two seconds before Professor Roger's finished counting down. Second, Catchlove squealed like a pig and dropped her wand. Thirdly, and the most upsetting, was when Snape's disarming spell hit Catchlove in the chest instead and the little jolt of magic threw her to the floor and up against the back wall.

Everyone was silent, James' head swiveled back to Snape, only to find a smug look on his face as he stared at Catchlove struggling to get up from the ground. Resentment flooded through James and he wanted nothing more than to fight Snape, who was getting a standing ovation from his mates. James shot the Slytherins a stern look only to instantaneously be distracted by Lily's expression. She was staring in dismay as Mary MacDonald and Marlene McKinnon ran over to help Catchlove up off the classroom floor.

No doubt Lily was scared that it would be her next, since she wasn't that great at dueling against Professor Rogers. James thought Lily's insecurities were shite though, because Professor Rogers could take three of them and Snape at once, what with her experience.

Professor Rogers stood up from her desk and crossed the room in three strides. She leaned down and was speaking to Catchlove under her breath. Catchlove, clearly embarrassed, nodded miserably as Rogers spoke to her. Finally, Rogers patted Catchlove on the shoulder and pointed her shaking body back over to the spectators.

"Okay!" Rogers called out to the rest of the class, "who wants to go up against Mr. Snape?"

No one moved. Everyone was terrified, knowing Snape's reputations in the hallway fights. He'd once cut James' cheek open and the cut didn't stop bleeding until James got a slave from the Hospital Wing. Snape was ruthless and not afraid to draw blood, so no one wanted to step up and face him. James raised his hand and everyone near him stepped away except for Remus and Sirius.

Professor Rogers nodded at James, "Come on down, Mr. Potter."

Encouraging, Sirius patted James on the back and the rest of Gryffindor house started clapping as James pushed through the masses to come stand in front of Snape. Snape scoffed as James came to stand in front of him. James couldn't help but glance over to the Slytherins where Lily was. She was leaning against the wall, biting her thumbnail as her eyes assessed the situation. When her eyes met his, she appeared anxious.

Was she worried about James?

Or her arsehole of a best mate who'd humiliated Greta Catchlove with a smile on his face?  
James turned back to Snape, clenching his jaw. It didn't matter who Lily was worried about. James was going to wipe the smug smirk off Snape's stupid face. Snape looked prepared to fight to the death, luckily James was just as willing.

"Scared Potter?" Snape spat as he adjusted his wrist so that his wand was pointed at James' heart.

"Shut up and duel, Snivellus." James scowled, standing up tall and planting his feet apart like his father had taught him.

"First one to disarm his opponent moves on to the next round and will duel a student of my choosing next week." Professor Rogers said as she resumed her position at her desk, "On my count…"

James aimed the tip of his wand as Snape's wand, narrowed his eyes and blocked out the whispers of his peers around him. James had to wait, if he acted too fast, Snape was no doubt going to block the first spell and try to undermine James with a hex.

"Three," Professor Rogers counted, "Two, _one_!"

Neither James nor Snape fired a spell, instead they orbited each other. The students egged them on, and Professor Rogers sat a little straighter in her chair. Out of the corner of James' eye he could see Lily. She had pushed herself to the front of the group of students to watch the boys circling like vultures, competing for the same kill. James kept an arrogant smirk across his face, not wanting to give Snape any reason to think he scared James in the slightest.

"Go on Potter," Snape encouraged him, "I'll let you take the first shot."

"It's considered polite to let the lady go first, Snape." James opposed cleverly.

Sparks flew from Snape's wand as he scowled and everyone else in the room hooted. James tutted, shaking his head just enough to anger Snape more.

"Have some control, Snivellus." James taunted, "don't want to embarrass yourself any more than you have."

Snape snarled and then his wrist twitched up systematically. James was ready, spotting Snape's wrist move just faintly, and they both shouted out at the same time. Snape sent a stunner James' way and James shot up a shield spell before diving to the floor and aiming up as he lunged out of the way of a second stunner sent by Snape.

" _Expelliarmus_!" James barked just as his shoulder collided with the classroom floor.

Snape wasn't fast enough to meet James' floor dive and his wand flew from his hand and right into the crowd of students behind him. James grinned, satisfied by the look of pure loathing on Snape's face as the student body erupted into a cheer for James. Sirius, Remus and Peter started leading a chant in James' favor as Professor Rogers walked over and helped James up off the floor with a smile.

"Clever use of the space," Rogers said as she patted James on the shoulder that ached from his dive.

James didn't answer Professor Rogers because he watched, entranced, as Lily walked over. She sent James a small smile, appearing happy that he'd won…and then she went and handed Snape back his wand. Snape tore the wand from Lily's grasp, spun on his heel, and stalked out of the classroom without being dismissed. Snape left Lily in the middle of the floor with a frown etched on her face and when she turned back to face James there was a red shade to her cheeks.

The rest of the class was spent with the students cross legged on the wooden floor as Professor Rogers picked apart Snape, James and Catchlove's performances. She gave some good tips on disarming stances and then asked them all to make sure to read up on more charms that they could use as defense if they were being attacked by a foe. James didn't pay too much attention to Rogers when she finished the class with a lecture on standing properly with a wand, he was too busy gawking across the classroom where Lily sat on the fringe of the students, playing with her quill absentmindedly.

The rest of the day went by quickly. Catchlove thanked James at least ten times for doing what she couldn't. Sirius commented slyly that James ought to be careful or Catchlove might corner him for a snog on rounds. James punched Sirius but didn't respond because his eyes had caught Lily walking into the potion's classroom with a troubled expression.

He had never met someone who could so easily capture his attention like Lily could. Even though he was sitting on the farthest side of the rom, away from the door, somehow, he caught her red hair out of the corner of his eye. She waltzed into class a minute before the bell rang, her book bag weighing down her shoulder as she took a seat next to her friend Greengrass. Only, it appeared to James that Greengrass and Lily were still fighting, since neither girl acknowledged one another.

Lily's plain jane ensemble was a far cry from fashionable. Her hair was thrown up in a bun and her Slytherin quidditch uniform was slim fitting on her curvy form. Lily was joined at her desk by Crabbe, also in his quidditch robes, they appeared to be sparring back and forth about something. That's when Snape appeared, his Slytherin tie flipped backwards as he took his seat in front of Evans and joined in on the conversation between Lily and Crabbe.

Sirius saw James' gaze and he cleared his throat brashly, calling James back from his suffocating day dreams.

"James." Sirius hissed as James pretended to be focused on the board, "at least try and be discreet."

"I wasn't going anything."

"Yeah right," Sirius muttered, "Why do you care about what she's doing?"

James nudged Sirius with his shoulder as they talked, "hey, she's my Head Girl," he tried to joke so that Sirius couldn't think he was growing fond of the Slytherin girl, "if her housemates kill her, I'll get stuck on rounds with asses like Kip Gansley."

Sirius grew dark for a moment, thinking of the annoying Ravenclaw seventh year, "which is worse though?"

"Definitely Gansley." James said as his eyes fluttered back over to Lily, who was in the middle of laughing at something Crabbe had said.

Peter and Remus took the table ahead of James and Sirius, both of them chatting about their comic that had arrived at breakfast via Peter's owl. Professor Slughorn was already at the blackboard, writing down notes for them all to copy. James squinted to read the tiny words and saw they were learning how to brew a very familiar potion. James started grumbling and he sank down in his seat, trying to stay out of view of old Slughorn.

Sirius glanced down at James, noting his despair, "What?"

"We're brewing dad's potion." James bemoaned, planting his forehead onto the desk dramatically.

Sirius chuckled as James tried to flatten his hair with one hand, something James seldom ever did. James saw that Sirius was now staring up at the board himself, reading the familiar ingredients with a partial chuckle. James kicked Sirius under the table and Sirius kicked him back.

"You're just going to be Mr. Popular today, aren't you?"

"You _know_ Slughorn's going to make me go up there and use it." James hissed, keeping his head ducked behind the pewter cauldron.

"Why?" Sirius, knew exactly why, he was just being a pain.

"I'm the son of the inventor and my hair is the unruliest in this room?"

"Ah," Sirius grinned, "I forgot about that."

James kicked Sirius again for good measure. In front of James, Peter perked up when he saw the board. Peter turned in his chair to give James a thumbs up only to find James desperately trying to hide from everything and everyone, halfway under the table. Remus turned too and rolled his eyes at James' dramatics, sharing a look with Sirius and likely commenting about James' talent to avoid all hair products, including the ones that gave his family fortune.

James wasn't too sure what they were saying, he was too busy trying to look at himself in the cauldron, attempting to tame his wild wind-swept hair. Had James had any self-preservation, he might have noted that he was in a classroom surrounded by his peers, but he was more concerned about saving his hair from being used as a test subject for class.

He was licking his palm, trying to flatten his curly hair closer to his forehead when Lily Evans' singing voice came from beside Sirius's chair.

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, Potter brushes his hair after all."

"Shove off, Evans." James said, not bothering to look up, "This is no joking matter."

"Oh, but it's totally fine for _you_ to make fun of people..."

James rolled his eyes at Lily's tort reply. Lily continued to the back table to grab a cauldron for her table. James continued attempting to flatten his hair and stay hidden from Slughorn. Unfortunately, it was all for naught because Slughorn had taught James and Sirius for years. He knew that Sirius and James sat at the same table every year. So, when he began his lecture, his eyes zeroed in on James trying to flatten his hair, using the cauldron as a mirror.

"Good morning class, today's a very exciting lecture! This week, you will all be brewing a very useful potion, one that was actually invented by the father of one of the people in this room." James sank even further down but Sirius rolled his eyes and grabbed James' shoulder, shoving him up as Slughorn announced, "Yes, our very own James Potter is related to the potions celebrity, Fleamont Potter!"

James closed his eyes and whispered ' _fuck me'_ under his breath as Slughorn clapped his hands animatedly. Greta Catchlove, three rows in front of James, clapped loudly too and cheered his name like he'd just won the Quidditch cup. Sirius clapped too, but his was a slow and satirical clap meant to antagonize James. All eyes in the classroom were focused on the boy who had just gone from dueler extraordinaire, to humiliated potions test subject.

"Mr. Potter, why don't you come up here and say a few words about your father?" Slughorn asked boisterously, "and then we can show the class what the potion does."

James popped open both eyes, "Actually Professor," James cleared his throat, "Sirius could tell you all about it, he's quite a fan."

"Nonsense, Potter. Stop being modest." Slughorn said, "Besides, Mr. Black already has impeccably smooth hair."

Sirius grinned and James felt another groan coming on as Sirius leaned into James' shoulder impishly, "Hear that Prongs?" Sirius teased favorably, "I have _impeccable_ hair."

James punched Sirius off his side as he stood up amid a few polite claps and Catchlove's adoring cheering. James could feel his ears turning red and (out of habit) his hand reached for his hair, ruffling it. There was a snicker to his left and he shot a look to find Evans in her seat, looking up at him with a shite-eating grin. He shot her a discontented glare and that only made her smile even more. She motioned with her hand, encouraging him to continue dragging his feet in Professor Slughorn's direction.

He could practically make up all the snide remarks Lily wanted to say to him in his head.

James swallowed thickly as Slughorn pulled him into a one-armed hug and looked at James like he was the one who invented the damn potion. James felt everyone's eyes on him and where he normally lived to be in the spotlight…the Potions classroom wasn't exactly his best hour. Snape was breaking the heads off his cockroaches, likely wishing they were James' very own head.

"So, tell us James," Slughorn used James' first name instead of his last, like they were old friends.

"Er, tell you what?"

"Tell us about your dad," Slughorn chuckled.

Lily, along with Sirius, who had her mouth covered but her shoulders were shaking uncontrollably.

"Well," James said dumbly, "He's my dad."

And then, as if she was there just to make him feel more like an idiot, Lily opened her stupid, cunning mouth.

"Riveting history Potter," she clapped sarcastically from her seat at the front table, "none of us knew _that_."

"Miss Evans," Slughorn warned his favorite student, "Allow Mr. Potter to finish."

Lily closed her mouth but the amusement didn't leave her face as she placed her chin in her hands and stared up at James with her bottle green eyes.

"Right," James wondered if it was hot in the classroom—or if it was just a reaction to Evans' pointed teasing, "So my dad invented _sleakeazy's_ because erm, the Potter's have this notoriously thick hair?" James pointed at his scalp where his hair stuck up in every direction, "and uh, well, he sold the company right after I was born so I don't know much else about it."

"His father was a few years ahead of me at Hogwarts," Slughorn said proudly, "He was the best brewer in his year." Slughorn squeezed James' shoulders, "If only you had Fleamont's talent for potion brewing...instead of his talent for trouble, Mr. Potter."

"Yeah, that's James." Sirius barked merrily from his seat, "Family disappointment."

James was going to pummel Sirius as soon as class let out. He sent Sirius a glare so that his brother would know but Sirius didn't look the least bit concerned by James' threatening look. In fact, Sirius looked as if Christmas had come early. James swore Sirius' favorite thing to do was watch James be humiliated in front of everyone. Sadistic bastard.

"Worst. Brother. Ever." James mouthed at Sirius who, in return, blew James an exaggerated kiss.

"I've got some of your father's potion here," Slughorn let go of James to grab a small orange bottle from the edge of the chalkboard, "we'll use it on your hair as a demo for the other students."

James used both hands to cover his head, "No, I'd rather not."

James had seen the effects to his hair that his father's potion did. Fleamont used the potion religiously on his unruly hair and looked ridiculous. James refused to be the same as his father. James' hair was meant to be curly, lopsided, and wild. The curls matched James' character and he didn't want straight hair. Even as a kid when Euphemia Potter tried to use the potion on him, he'd protested loudly enough for her to eventually stop trying to control the curl.

Slughorn, of course, ignored James' request and squeezed the orange paste into his pale hands and rubbed them together.

"Alright Potter," Slughorn held out his hands, "Come here."

James felt like he was living in a nightmare. He pinched himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming. Lily's familiar amused snicker from three tables away told James all he needed to know.

James shook his head, "Really, we don't need to do this."

Students started chanting, with encouragement from none other than Sirius, the traitor. James was certain no one in Hogwarts had ever seen him with his black hair straight. James hadn't seen himself with straight black hair since he was five, he started doing his own hair at six and embraced the mess. James' face was turning redder by the second.

Slughorn came to James and reached up, but because James was so much taller than Slughorn, the pasty hands only came to James' face. James got a whiff of his father's potion and felt physically sick. Slowly, comically, James bent at the knee and Slughorn started rubbing the potion into James' hair. James was certain it had to be amusing, a Professor rubbing a student's head like he was giving a massage. James could hear the outright laughter of his fellow students as Slughorn kneaded James' hair. James knew the others would never let him live this down, not for the rest of his life.

Slughorn stopped suddenly and hooted, "Merlin, who knew your hair was that long, Potter!"

"Oh my god." a Ravenclaw exclaimed.

"Anyone have a camera?" another snickered.

"You look great, Prongs!" Remus called from the back tables as Peter burst into uncontrolled laughter.

James stood up tall again and his long, straight and ridiculous hair fell in front of his eyes. The hair tickled his cheekbones and reached past his neck in the back. James was sure his face was either a grimace or stone-cold despair. Either way, James was affronted as his peers laughed at him only an hour after proclaiming him a hero. James' took a deep breath and he tried ruffling his hair, but it just wasn't the same, not without the curly hair. James parted his fringe like a curtain to see Slughorn smirking up at him brightly.

Slughorn clapped James on the back, "Your father really did wonders with this one, Potter."

James blew the hair from his face and them used his hand to gather all the loose ends, "Yup, it works pretty well."

"You must be so proud, being the son of a potioneer."

"I'm proud to be his son," James reasoned, glumly.

Sirius was laughing so loudly, he was sounding more like a braying donkey. James shuffled back to his seat, trying to hold his hair back away from his face. When he saw Lily's face as he passed her table, he saw she had a hand over her mouth and her eyes were squinted up from the hilarity of the situation. He cricked his neck trying to keep her eye contact as he made his way back to Sirius. James grabbed a book at the edge of his desk and raised it in the air, smacking Sirius' head with it. Sirius objected to the abuse and Remus was cackling even louder now.

"Everyone settle down!" Slughorn was laughing too, amused by James' clear distaste for straight hair, "Start gathering your supplies we have an hour to start this potion!"

James crossed his arms and said pointedly to Sirius, "You can do all the work, Padfoot, since you find this so amusing."

Sirius saluted James, still holding back laughter, "Alright, but one more thing before I go."

James arched a brow at Sirius, "What?"

Sirius stood up, getting out of range from James' wrath, "You look like Snivellus, if Snivellus ever had a good hair day."

" _I do not_!"

Sirius yelped and dodged out of the way when James chucked another book in his direction. When Lily passed by his chair, where James was pouting and refusing to move, she stopped at Sirius' seat. She placed her hands on the back of Sirius' chair and leaned towards James. James noticed she glanced up to the cupboards where Snape and Sirius were both gathering supplies for the potion. When she looked back down at James her eyes were sparkling brilliantly. Greener that any forest he'd ever been in, James felt like he could get lost in them forever.

"This is the best day of my life."

James narrowed his eyes at her, "Move along if you are only here to mock."

Lily giggled again, sounding like the girl from the Swift Broomsticks concert, "I'm sorry," she said, "I just can't get over the look on your face when Slughorn called your name."

She pulled an expression similar to great pain before laughing again. James pushed back his sleek hair, tucking it behind his ears, trying to control it. He had less control over it straight than he did when it was messy. James huffed deeply.

"I hate my hair like this." He told Lily.

"Yeah, it looks ridiculous." Lily agreed instantly, "You should take it as a compliment that I'm even talking to you right now."

" _Ouch_."

She quipped playfully, "Social suicide, but hey, it's not all bad."

"It's not?" James fell right into her trap.

"Of course not," Lily's smile was wicked, "After all, Gryffindor needed a lion mascot at Quidditch games and with that mane? You'll fit the part just fine."

James didn't know whether to hate her or be impressed by her. He settled for both when she turned on her heel and flounced back to her seat. The rest of the day, Lily sent him little smirks. Charms. Transfiguration. Even in History of Magic, Lily kept smiling at James like he amused her.

The next day, in Defense Against the Dark Arts, Lily stood next to James right before class started. She nudged him lightheartedly with her elbow and threw him a smile when he turned to the side. She was wearing her hair down today and looked happy to see him. James wondered if she'd decided that they _could_ be friends. He hoped so because he liked her, even when she was teasing him.

"Morning, Potter." she said, "I see your hair is back to normal."

"It took me three hours to wash the potion out." James shot back, "It was torture."

"I do prefer your hair like this." she pointed up at his messy hair, "but I _was_ wondering what it'd look like if someone buzzed it all off."

James sent her a horrified look and then she sniggered, "I'm teasing." she arched her brow, "don't you know how to laugh, or is humor banned from Gryffindor house?"

"Yeah," James was thrown off by her white smile, "I just thought you might be mad at me for beating Snape yesterday."

Lily shrugged, a telling smile on her face as she sang delicately, "Well, you'll meet your match eventually." She said, "you probably just got lucky."

James sniffed, "save the competitiveness for the quidditch pitch, Evans."

"Okay, well, speaking of quidditch," Lily put a hand on her hip, and she changed the subject fluidly, "I came over to ask you if you'd mind doing rounds with me tonight."

"I have quidditch practice." James disagreed immediately, "you know that."

"After," Lily stated, "I was supposed to have Justine from Ravenclaw with me tonight, but she got bit by a flobberworm in Magical Creatures and is apparently allergic? So, she's in the Hospital Wing all night."

James complained, "No one else can do it with you?"

"Nope," Lily didn't look him in the eyes, "You're my only hope."

"Fine," James grumbled, crossing his arms, "But you'd owe me, Evans."

Lily glowed, "Great, see you tonight at seven."

James watched her walk back over to Snape who'd been glaring in their direction the whole time. James turned his attention back to Professor Rogers, who was getting ready to start class. Sirius, who'd witnessed the whole conversation, was surprisingly unobtrusive. James decided not to bring Lily up any more than he had too, due to Sirius' inquisitive glances at James since she'd sauntered back over to Snape. James disregarded Sirius' looks by pretending to seem really fascinated in Roger's lecture. Roger's had decided not to have the students duel one on one again until she taught the 7thyears how to stand instinctively when dueling. She paired them off and James was paired with Sophie Turner from Ravenclaw-earning him a reprieve from Sirius.

James could only avoid Sirius' enquiring glances so long though. That night, after James returned from rounds with Lily, Sirius cornered him in the dorm.

"Are you _friends_ with Evans?" Sirius asked, acting as if it was a throwaway question.

James tore off his robes as he replied curtly, "We're polite to each other."

Sirius' lips were set in a thin line when James' head appeared out from under his robes, "James," Sirius tried to reason before shaking his head, "You know what? No. You can dig yourself into your own grave. Never mind my opinion."

"I know you don't like her, Padfoot," James told his best friend, "but she's honestly not that awful."

"She's friends with Snape." Sirius pointed to where Remus' bed was, "he's the bloke who tried to get Remus expelled."

James furrowed his brow, "I know what he did."

"So why bother with her?"

"Because I don't think she's like the rest of them."

Sirius shook his head at James, "Prongs, she's not your friend. She's a Slytherin. Their quidditch captain, for fucks sake, use your brain."

Crossly, knowing Sirius had a point, James pulled on his trousers for bed irritably, "Yeah, I get it, Sirius. Thanks."

James went to bed and he heard Sirius sigh in disappointment. James stuffed his hands under his pillow and stared at a spot on his wall as she thought about all the things about Evans that drew him closer as a friend. Firstly, she was hilarious, a bit harsh sometimes, but funny. Secondly, she was clever and when she spoke, James could sense that she was smarter than she let on. Thirdly, when she smiled at James, he couldn't shake the feeling of soaring when the corners of her eyes crinkled only for him.

James tried not to let her smiles or eyes get too his brain too much. He figured she was just being friendly with him, since they were in such a weird position. After all, they got along well but she was the Captain of Slytherin, and he was the Captain of Gryffindor. They'd always been rivals and fallen into a Hell-like war fueled by competitiveness during quidditch season.

They didn't talk much about quidditch, James knew Lily was busy, just like he was. James kept himself busy the first chilly week of October, working plays on the Quidditch pitch with his team. As quidditch started full swing, James couldn't wait to play Slytherin in the first match in November. He had some great players and even better plays that were aimed to hit Slytherin in their weakest spots based on his notes from previous years.

As much as James respected Lily, he was determined to trample all over her and her fellow snakes. Lily seemed to respect that and was just as determined to whip her team into shape. She mentioned offhandedly during rounds that she was having trouble with some of the people on her team, but all in all, she was enjoying being Captain as much as James.

One late Wednesday afternoon, after a long day of classes, James was running a new drill with his chasers when he spotted a bloke sitting in the stands writing down something inside of a notebook. Having never seen the bloke at practice before, James flew over to the stands where the boy was huddled against one of the large wooden walls that separate the stands from large boxes. The boy didn't notice James' presence until James cleared his throat loudly. James' team hung back apprehensively, everyone wondering who on Earth the boy was.

"What the Hell do you think you're doing?" James barked in his best Captain voice.

The boy dropped his notebook in surprise, and it fell open, revealing hand-written plays.

Hand-written, very detailed, _Gryffindor_ plays.

Fury rose in James' chest at the insinuations of cheating by another team. James dismounted his broomstick into the stands. The boy scrambled, sputtering. James kicked the plays away from the boy's grasping fingers. The boy stumbled back against the stands when he saw the fury in James' eyes. James grabbed ahold of his plain black robes so that the boy couldn't run away.

"What are you doing on my pitch?" James demanded.

The boy spat at James, "Let me go!"

"Why you little-"

"James that's Barneby West!" Marlene McKinnon warned from behind James, "He's a Slytherin!"

_Fuck_.

James dropped West's robes in shock as Marlene's words hit James right where it hurt. James felt a lurch in his chest as he realized that _Slytherin_ had sent someone to write down the plays Gryffindor was using. Irate, James could hardly see straight as he yelled at the boy to get the fuck off his pitch. The little Slytherin scrambled away, terrified of James and for good reason. James barely remembered how he got to the castle, nor how he found Evans sitting at the Slytherin table surrounded by her fellow asshole-allegiance of a quidditch team. He didn't even notice her eyes were downcast and she wasn't cackling with the rest of them. James only knew that towering over, looking down at her as she shared a pie with Snape, he was reeling with a feeling of betrayal.

"Evans!"

Evans turned at the sound of his voice and, fuck her, she had the audacity to smile at him and say hello like they were old friends. Snape, who recognized the enraged look James was sending Evans, pulled out his wand and warned James to back off.

"Fuck off Snape!" James flipped Snape the bird, his eyes never leaving Evans, who looked wholeheartedly confused.

"Oi!" Evans jumped up, her eyebrows knitted together, "Calm down! What's wrong, Potter?"

"I dunno what's wrong, Evans!" James scoffed rowdily, "Uh, maybe the fact that you sent a little one of your viper spies to steal Gryffindor plays!"

"What?" Evans gasped, her eyes wide.

"You heard me!" James snarled, motioning around the table, "You and your team are cheats!"

Evans grew red in the face, "I think my team can beat Gryffindor without cheating, thank you very much!"

"Then explain this!" James chucked West's booklet at Evans' chest and she barely caught it, letting it fall open in her palms.

At first Evans' face remained impassive and then her brows flew into her hairline. She flickered through the pages, looking for something. When she reached the back page, her face paled considerably, and James watched as Evans slammed the book onto the Slytherin table. The book slammed so loudly that everyone in the vicinity was watching Evans with wide eyes. Her fury matched closely to James' and had had to hand it to her, she was a fucking good actress.

James watched, seething, as Evans turned to the rest of the table and shouted, "Where is West?"

When the young boy in question didn't turn up, Evans turned back to James.

"Potter, I swear-"

"Save it for the pitch!" James spat at Evans, "and keep your fucking spies off my pitch!"

James rounded away from her, storming from the Great Hall. James was livid and couldn't only hear Sirius' warnings in his head over and over again. He couldn't even look back at Evans as she shouted after him to stop.

He'd known she was competitive and cunning, after all she was in Slytherin, but James had respected her. James had thought she was above cheating. When Sirius had heard of the confrontation in the Great Hall, he only shook his head, not bothering to tell James 'I told you so' because James already knew.

James avoided Evans like the plague, but he could only do it for so long. They had rounds with each other that night and James wasn't able to get any single one of the prefects to switch with him. They'd all been mysteriously and suddenly, very busy.

James waited for Evans outside the main hall, leaning against the wall and staring bitterly at his feet as he tried to decide how to change some of his plays so Slytherin wouldn't have a leg up in the game. He was using his wand to draw colorful lines in the air, rerouting plays. That's how Evans found him.

"That's beautiful magic."

James jerked his head up, saw her, and rolled his eyes as he swiped the colors from the air, "Let's get this over with."

He started down the hall and Evans chased after him, having to practically jog to keep up with his long legs. James ignored her, keeping his eyes trained on a spot in the halls ahead. He felt the flesh of his neck heating up as he recalled feeling anything for her, the sneaky little snake.

"Potter, wait!"

Her voice was strong, commanding and James hated himself for listening to it and stopping in his tracks. He heard her tiny feet scramble to a stop beside his frozen stature. She maneuvered herself so they were eye to eye. He was surprised to see remorse on her face.

"I'm so sorry." She breathed, "I had no idea."

"Likely story." He gruffly stated, avoiding her gorgeous eyes.

James started trying to walk away again but she dug her heels into the ground. She placed her flat palms on his chest to keep him trapped. Her fists dug into his robes, keeping him in place with all her strength. Her little face was pointed definitely up at him, daring him to fight her hold.

James glared at her with annoyance, "Evans, we have rounds."

"I need to talk to you, _properly_." she argued, "I don't want us to be fighting like this, we're _friendly_ rivals, remember?"

"I don't want to play your little games." James snapped, "Gryffindor will beat your team; even if you are all lying snakes."

"Please! Listen!" Evans let out a deep breath as she hung her head, "You were right, West _was_ cheating and trying to write down all your plays."

James sniffed, and pushed around her grasp, "Well, now that we've cleared that up, we can get back to—"

"No, James, _wait_ a fucking second and listen, would you?!"

James felt like she'd taken a hold of his heart strings and tugged.

"James?" he turned slightly to stare at her incredulously, not sure what to make of his first name slipping from her lips.

A red flush ran across her cheeks, "That's your _name_ isn't it?"

James.

Like they were still _friends_ after she'd just been caught playing him coyly with her wicked smiles while simultaneously sending her little third year vipers to spy on his team behind his back. She was like a real snake, luring him into a false sense of security with her pretty smiles and warm laughs, before striking right at his heart.

James felt nauseous, "I've been Potter to you, since day one."

She crossed her arms self-consciously, "okay fine, _Potter_ then. Listen to me, I know who sent West to the pitch to steal Gryffindor plays."

"Obviously." James said, "You sent one of your Slytherin teammates to spy on Gryffindor!"

"I didn't do that!" Evans snapped back, "Rosier did! It was stupid and I told Rosier to apologize to you but, you know him!" she turned away from James and started pacing the hall, James' were eyes stuck to her angered form, "He refused! He told me if I was a good Captain, I'd do whatever it took to win. Of course, I told him to fuck off and apologize to you, but then Knott came to his defense, as per usual." she stopped pacing so she could send James an exasperated look. "I am _so_ sorry." She said sincerely, "I can't promise to keep some of the members of my team reigned in…but I give you full permission to hex them if you ever see them near your practices again."

James stared at Lily. She was out of breath, heated and something in her expression told James she was telling the truth. He could see that what had happened was eating her away. She was noble, more so than James would've expected from a Slytherin. She had a heart in her, something that set her apart from the other Slytherins.

"You swear?" James asked suspiciously, still remembering the feeling of betrayal from the pitch, "you swear that you didn't send West?"

"I wouldn't ever cheat like that." Lily swore, "I am really, _really_ sorry you'll have to redo your plays."

James took a deep breath, but his shoulders relaxed, "how can you be friends with gits like them?" he shot at her, "They went behind your back, and your their captain, their _friend_!"

Lily squared her shoulders, "We are not friends."

James arched his brow at her, "You're always around them."

"I mean we're teammates, but the relationship doesn't exist beyond that." Lily stated, "and I think they feel the same way as me, since they're all so bitter about Slughorn naming me Captain."

"The team didn't pick you?" James asked, flabbergasted.

"Of course not," Lily said, "I'm not very popular amongst them, right now."

"So Slughorn is the reason that you are Slytherin's captain?"

"Sad right?" Lily snapped, "I can't even get quidditch Captain without someone's help."

"You're a good seeker, I'm sure that Slughorn picked you because if it."

Lily laughed bitterly, "yeah, maybe if I keep telling myself that, I'll actually believe it." She looked at James, "the team wanted Crabbe to be Captain, not me. They think I'll take it easy on you."

"Well, that's just not true."

"I know."

James furrowed his brow, "They're arses for treating you like a shite Captain because you won't cheat."

"I'm used to it." Lily sighed, "Crabbe will do anything to win the Slytherin cup and he thinks we can't win because I made Regulus Black seeker."

"You dropped your position?" James' jaw dropped, "but you're a _brilliant_ seeker."

It was true, he'd once wished she was in Gryffindor so he could have her as seeker for his team.

Lily looked humbled by his compliment, "thanks but, Reg is better than I am. It's all in his practice catches. Crabbe doesn't think Reg can do it."

"So, what are you playing now?" James wondered, already starting to adjust his plays to the news that Black was Slytherin's seeker, "You can tell me," James egged her on, "I deserve as much, since your teammates sabotaged my plays."

"True." She eyed him before saying, "I'm keeper."

"Flints old position." James nodded, "nice switch."

Lily tugged on a strand of her hair, "I get around quick enough to block the quaffles."

"Wait until you go against me." James found himself relaxing now that he knew she was still on his side—in her own way, "I'm going to score every other goal."

"Only every other?" Lily asked in surprise, her eyes slowly lifting to his face.

"I can't let you suck too bad, or Slytherin will kick you off the team."

Worry flashed across Lily's face and James immediately regretted his teasing as she broke away from her stare. Her shoulders had collapsed in and she held herself like he'd hit her, not teased her. It was clear her self-confidence had taken a hit with all the fighting happening between quidditch teams. James felt like an arse and hastily tried to rectify the situation.

"Hey," James grabbed Lily's hand and her face lifted to his hopefully, James felt that all-too-familiar lurch in his stomach, "I'm sorry that I blamed you about West at my practice."

Lily's smile didn't return wholly, but her mouth did flicker up for a moment. James' fingers were cold against her hot palm as he stared straight through her eyes. He hated that he'd ever let his prejudice against her house get in the way of the way she looked at him when they were alone. The girl standing in front of him with hope etched on her pale face wouldn't ever cheat, James knew it went against her very nature. Lily's chest was rising and falling gently as she gazed back at him, her green eyes brooding and quizzical.

"I'm not like them."

She spoke with the most persuasive compassion he'd ever heard in her voice, as if she were trying to prove to James that she was nothing like her reputation as a member of the Slytherin house.

"I know." James squeezed her hand and her eyes dropped to their fingers, twisted around each other.

Suddenly, Lily tore her hand away and started back up the hallway.

They strolled along the hallways together in silence, caught up in their own heads. James glanced sideways and caught her looking at him. She blushed and looked away, playing with her Slytherin tie.

"Can I ask you a question?" James asked.

"That depends," she said, "what is it?"

"It's about your housemates."

"What about them?"

"It seems like you've been fighting an awful lot with them." James muttered, "is everything okay?"

Lily stopped and stared at him, "you're awfully perceptive."

"I'm just observant." James reminded her curtly, "as head Boy it's my job to pay attention to everyone, even Slytherins."

"Friendly rivals." Lily remembered, her tone warm at the recollection.

"Yes," James agreed, "but for the sake of this conversation, let's just be friends and leave Quidditch out of it. As your friend, I've noticed you were avoiding your friends."

"I haven't been avoiding them." Lily said, "it's just, we keep getting into disagreements about things."

"I get into disagreements with Sirius all the time." James observed good-naturedly, "I find that challenging him to a riveting duel shuts him up."

Lily shook her head, "it's a little more complicated than a playful tousle between you and Sirius Black."

"Can I help?" James asked, placing his hand on her shoulder kindly.

Lily turned her face back to him, "You want to help me?"

James bowed his head, "I could bring an outsiders opinion in."

"You wouldn't understand," Lily half laughed, clearly finding James' offer humorous, "I've been dealing with it since first year, it's just getting harder and harder to deal with."

"And none of your friends are helping?"

Lily's lips thinned but she replied briskly, "Sev has been nothing but supportive."

"Ah," James stuffed his hands back into his pockets as they continued their stroll, "so you aren't fighting with Snape? But you are with the other Slytherins."

Lily was silent for a minute before conceding, "It's Amelia and her boyfriend."

"Greengrass?" James queried, "I thought you two were thick as thieves?"

Lily shrugged painfully, "I found anti-muggleborn posters in the common room and she knew who put them up but she wouldn't tell me who did it…so we fought."

"Why?" James narrowed his eyes, "Dumbledore made it very clear in fifth year that any anti-muggleborn stuff was against the rules."

"Yeah well," Lily sighed heavily, "apparently Amelia's boyfriend hates being around me because I always tell them to stop being intolerant."

"Wait," James pulled Lily to a stop, perplexed, "and _Snape_ supports you when you do this?"

James had heard terms like 'mudblood' slip from Severus Snape's mouth before. He was surprised that Snape would stand up for Lily, who was clearly pro-muggleborn unlike the rest of her Slytherin mates. James felt a lurch of appreciation for how brave she had to be, to stick up for something she believed in, around such defiance.

It was far easier being impressed by Lily than it was to try and dislike her. As quickly as he'd turned on her for quidditch, she was quickly winning him over again with her selflessness and kindness that seemed more appropriate in any house _but_ the house she was sorted into at eleven. James knew that Sirius didn't have faith in Lily being akin to him, he didn't trust most Slytherins, but James really felt breathless as he stared down at Lily Evans like she was a whole new person.

Lily seemed insecure under his passionate gaze but she squared her jaw proudly as she said, "Sev understands more than anyone why it bothers me, but Amelia was saying that the others in our house think that I'm some sort of traitor just because I believe magic isn't a birthright."

James stared at Lily, struck by the firm belief in her stare. Her face shone from the torches and in that moment, James knew, he fancied her something awful. Gravity felt like it pulled him closer to her as he realized he fancied the Slytherin who looked bold enough to take Lord Voldemort himself face on.

"You're right." James murmured, "magic isn't a birthright. It should be shared and celebrated, not locked up for only the self-proclaimed to use."

Lily's face was rosy when James' hand reached out again to grasp her fingers and squeeze them.

"But you think magic is universal?" she established, "Even though you're pureblood?"

James actually snickered and Lily flushed as he shook his head, "who told you that I was anything like the bogus purebloods you're used to?"

"No one," Lily looked nervous as she stared at his fingers in her hand, "I just—sometimes I don't always understand things." she lifted her chin so her green eyes were shimmering up at him once more, "I think Sev tries to protect me, but he doesn't need too."

"Not all purebloods act entitled," James rustled his hair as he wondered what else this girl had been told about the wizards around her, "Look at Sirius, he ran away from home and came to live with me in fifth year because his parents were pureblooded fools."

"I don't understand?"

"Fifth year." James explained, "Sirius had finally had enough of the pureblood mania, his family fashions themselves royals, and he ran away."

Lily blinked rapidly, "Amelia said he was thrown out for loving muggles."

"Look," James said, "it's not my story to tell but I'd ask Sirius, if I were you. Whatever your Slytherin mates are telling you, is probably a lie."

Lily quiet and then she asked gently, "Why did you think I was fighting with Sev?"

James arched a brow at her, "I don't know. You just never look very happy when you're near any of the Slytherins." he leaned closer to her, "You don't have to be friends with people just because they're in your house, you know."

The brave girl, the one who stood up to her own friends, tore her hand from his and turned away as she said, "we need to start rounds."

James called after her, "You know, _we_ could be friends, Lily."

Lily turned, her hair framing her face beautifully in the shadows of a corridor as she said dejectedly, "I don't think that would work."

James scoffed, "we get along."

Lily disputed him, "You tried to blame me for something someone in my house did." she said, "you can't get past your prejudices for Slytherin any more than Severus can get past his prejudices against you."

"Hey!" James took three large steps and planted himself back in front of her person, "You have to admit the evidence was overwhelmingly pointing at the Slytherin captain. I didn't know your teammates weren't respecting you as Captain. You should try to get a few decent friends. You can start with me."

Lily smiled at James, "You really want to be my friend? Even though I'm in Slytherin and we'll be playing each other for the cup?"

James nodded, "I promise not to lord Gryffindor's win over your head for too long."

Lily snorted but there was a reappearing twinkle in her eye, "You're crazy if you think either of our houses would let us be friends." she was leaning towards him, a challenge in her eyes, "I'd be lynched in my sleep if any of them ever saw you holding my hand like you did back there."

"They'd have to get through me first."

James wasn't aware of the protective implications of his words until they tumbled from his mouth and humility consumed him as her eyes enlarged. Her head tilted slightly to the left as she let James' words settle quietly around her shocked aura. James' eyes searched her face, trying to read her expression, but he was unable to do so. Lily took a step away from him in the darkness, allowing cool air to surround him again, clearing his head slightly. Lily pushed her fringe from her eyes, and she turned away from James without another word. Still, he didn't miss the unmistakable red tinge to her ears when she tucked her hair behind them.

He didn't regret pushing past the little walls she put up to block the world when she sent him a thoughtful smile as they finished rounds. James knew now, there was nothing about Lily Evans that was unkind or shifty. She was nothing but a product of the world the sorting hat had placed her into.

That night, as they parted ways James stopped her with two fingers on her wrist before she could descend into the dungeons. In the dark, her eyes were almost black, and James swore another flash of red crossed her cheeks as the fire ignited between them once again.

"Did the hat pick Slytherin?"

"Pardon?" she was taken aback by the words that tumbled from his treacherous mouth.

"Did the sorting hat put you in Slytherin?" James asked, "Or did you _ask_ to be put in Slytherin?"

Lily was mute for a minute, seemingly choosing her words before she spoke them. James could see the wheels in her head turning. He thought she wasn't going to answer because she started stepping onto the first step that led to the Slytherin common room. James was prepared to dash after her, his curiosity killing him, when Lily's voice reverberated through the darkness as she descended the staircase and faded from view.

"I asked to be in Slytherin."


	7. Dancing With Our Hands Tied (Part 1)

_Chapter 7:_

_my love had been frozen_

_Deep blue, but you painted me golden_

_and you held me close_

_Oh, how was I to know?_

The week went by sluggishly, even with classes, quidditch and head girl duties keeping Lily busy. All the Professors were focused on their lectures in practical magical theory and by Friday, Lily couldn't wait for the weekend. Quidditch was normally her escape, but since the clash with the Gryffindor quidditch team, Lily had spent most of her practices trying to reign in Crabbe and Rosier who kept trying to take over practices. It was only after Lily threatened to go to Slughorn and kick them off the team, that both boys stopped trying to convince the other Quidditch team members to push Lily off her broom so that Crabbe could run practice.

She was also dealing with James Potter, not in that he was a real problem. In classes they had together, he'd stop by her table before class started and offer her a dimpled smile. If they were crossing paths in the hallway, he'd purposely brush past her with a playful wink. After their heart to heart, he'd become a chatty, always offering her stories that had her laughing as they patrolled the Hogwarts halls at night. Lily had such a good time with him on rounds that she was sad that this Friday, rounds were to be covered by prefects.

The realization that she'd actually miss James in her Friday afternoon astonished Lily. Although she never minded him before, despite their quidditch rivalry as kids, now they were at ease with each other in a way that could only be described as pleasant. They worked well with each other during rounds and the night before last had been spent with James in the Head Office, sorting detention slips. It took them over two hours to get through fifteen slips only because they kept getting distracted by talking and exploring a relationship that had once been separated by a wall formed by a house rivalry that they'd somehow shattered through.

Friday night was normally a night Lily went on rounds with James but that night, Professor Slughorn was having the first Slug Club event in his offices. Lily was expected to attend as one of his favorite students, so Lily spent her afternoon preparing herself to stand in a room with Slughorns hand-picked favorites. Lily used to spend the meetings with Amelia and Sev but now, it looked like the only person she'd be around was Sev. A part of Lily wished she could bring someone else to the party but her only other option was James...and he would clash like night and dark with Severus. So, when quidditch practice was over, Lily got into her nicest robes and made her way down to Slughorn's office alone, where the party was taking place.

Since she was late, everyone was already mingling, and she wasn't able to immediately see Sev amongst the bodies. Lily settled herself next to the food table by the door and smiled as a few recognizable faces passed. She was fine, even entering a few conversations with a few of the Slug Club members she hadn't seen in a while. Slughorn came over to Lily when he spotted her at Sev's side later on in the party. All in all, it was a very casual event just meant to welcome the students back to Hogwarts.

While Lily was talking off to the side of the party with Sev, as Slughorn boasted about one of his graduated students getting into the Auror Academy, Lily spotted someone hanging in the doorway of the office. She leaned around Sev's sharp shoulders to see who was looking at the party with wide eyes. His black hair was unkempt, and his glasses were almost at the end of his nose as he searched the room keenly. When James' eyes landed on Lily off to the edge of the party, he waved cheerfully, and his smile overtook his face. He was wearing his quidditch robes, suggesting he'd just finished his practice. The grass stains on his knees and arms indicated that at some point, he'd fallen off his broom.

An inquisitive feeling overtook Lily as she waved back at the Head Boy, a little laugh accompanying her wave. Sev looked backwards to see what had captured Lily's attention and he frowned considerably at the sight of the Head Boy. James didn't look at Sev at all, he only had eyes for Lily. Sev turned back to see Lily grinning back at her Head Boy, his frown deepened.

"Did you invite Potter?"

"Nah," Lily said, "He much be here for Head duties."

Sev said something to her but Lily ignored him and brushed right past, her eyes locked on James in the doorway. She pushed her fringe from her eyes as she met James in the doorway, her eyes tracing the way he looked in on the party nosily. When Lily reached James, his eyes fell back to her face, the gold in his iris; glimmering under the party lights floating above their heads.

"I always wondered what one of these was like."

Lily knew what he meant. She glanced back to look at her peers before considering James' childlike interest again. She liked the way the lanterns floating above the party gave him a golden aura even more than the natural glow he normally had. He stood so that half his body glowed with the warmth of the party and behind him, the black hallway seemed to touch his shoulders. Lily tilted her head at him wonderingly.

"Is it everything you imagined it would be?"

James' eyes rested back on her and she was dutifully aware of the way the hazel orbs seemed to examine her like she was captivating. He didn't speak until she prompted him with a slight touch on his elbow.

"No black ties?" James looked disillusioned but still had an air of playfulness to him, "no fancy candles? Not even an old fashioned in sight? This is rather disappointing."

"Don't let Slughorn hear you say that. He'd be awfully offended."

Lily let her hand fall from his elbow, but his eyes watched as her hand broke away from him, as if disappointed. He glanced past her again, taking in the party once more.

"Snape looks pleased."

Lily glanced back at James' suggestion to find Sev glaring daggers their way. When Lily's eyes met Sev's cold stare she winked at him, trying to ease his despair that she was speaking to James so casually.

"I told him you were here on official head duty business." She confessed as she turned back to James, "he was worried I invited you."

"What a scandal that would've been, eh?" James gave her his most ludicrous smile, "Slughorn would never forgive you."

"Slughorn?" Lily crossed her arms, smiling at him, "we would've been the talk of the school."

James leaned against the doorframe, "To be honest I'm a little offended you didn't invite me."

"Are you?"

"Yes," James retorted, "this party is a bore, I could've livened it up a bit."

"Could you have?" She couldn't stop grinning because he was absolutely ridiculous, "how?"

"Well," James proposed slyly, "I've got three packs of filibuster fireworks back at the dorm that would've loved to light things up a bit."

Lily shook her head, "setting this party on fire would probably give old Sluggy a heart attack."

James winked, yet again, "Even more of a reason."

"You're trouble, you are." Lily pinched his arm, but her smile gave away how amusing she was finding his sudden arrival, "Why are you down here?"

James shrugged, "I was bored and wanted to see what the fuss for this party was all about."

"I hope you don't feel you wasted your time coming to such a boring party." She teased.

"On the contrary," James leaned closer to her and enticingly lifted his eyebrows, "I don't think this as a waste of my time at all."

"No?"

"Nope, because I can save you."

" _Save_ me?"

James was beaming, "you looked positively bored when I spotted you."

"You don't need to save me," she reasoned, "But you're welcome to join in."

James seemed unconvinced, "You really want to stay here and finish eating marinated dragon balls?"

Lily laughed, "I've never once, eaten a marinated dragon ball."

"Well I have, and I don't recommend it." James' eyes were sparkling with humor, "But if you don't need me to help you get away—I'll just continue on my way to the potions storeroom."

Lily was even more intrigued, "Why are you on your way to the potions storeroom?"

James rolled up his sleeves and she gasped when he showed her his bruised arms, "I took a nasty fall in practice and wanted to get some turmeric paste."

"What happened?" Lily asked James hastily, worry for her friend flittering through her mind.

James shrugged, "Marlene McKinnon got mad at something I said and hit me with her bludger bat hard enough that I fell off my broom."

"Yikes."

"Yeah," James laughed as he lowered his sleeves, "She's ruthless."

"Lily!"

Lily turned on her heel to look back at the party that had disappeared around her as why spoke to James. Sev was waving her to come back to him. Lily was aware that people were watching her stand in the doorway with James, interested in why the Slytherin captain and Gryffindor captain were chatting it up like old friends.

"Your company is being requested," James said next to her left her, "apparently I've kept you too long."

Lily put up one finger to Sev before turning back to find James had gotten suffocating closer when she'd turned. His tan skin seemed to glow under the lights and his hair was forming a black halo about his head. She wished she could invite him in, she had a feeling he could keep her entertained with very little. After all, he was an expert at that already.

Sad, Lily took a step away from him quietly, "I'd better get back to it."

"We should hang out sometime." He said as she took three steps backwards, "outside of Head Rounds and all that shit."

Lily tucked her red hair behind her ear as she considered him, "and do what?"

James shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets, "maybe we could go for a walk together?"

Lily nodded, "I'd like that."

James perked up, "Really?"

"Really," Lily waved to him as she began turning back to the party, "See you later, James."

Sev looked as if he'd rather hex the hair off James' head as she made her way over to him with a rosy tint to her cheeks. Sev wore grey robes that only made his black eyes more ominous as he glared at James' retreating body in the doorway. Sev curled his fingers overprotectively around her shoulder when she came to stand back at his side.

"What did he want?"

Lily pushed her hair over her shoulder as she shrugged off Sev's worry, "we were just talking."

Sev tightened his gaze, "what could Potter possibly want to talk to you about?"

Lily continued playing with her hair so she wouldn't have to look Sev in the eyes, "he'd never seen a Slug Club party before and came to check it out."

"That's not the only thing he was checking out." Sev snapped and Lily glared at him in reaction, "he looks at you like—he's repulsive."

"Sev, he's honestly not that bad." Lily waved Sev's concerns away, "I think you've been listening to Rosier and Knott too much."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sev asked her, taking a step away suspiciously.

"I mean your bias against James and the other Gryffindors is only so because of your mates." Lily couldn't believe he didn't see what he was doing, "you are convinced James is some form of arrogant pureblood but in all actuality, he's pretty cool."

Sev stared at her like she'd grown three heads, "You hated him."

"No, I didn't hate him." Lily corrected, "I hate who I thought he was, but he's not a bully Sev. You two just have bad blood."

"You aren't friends with him, right?" Sev crossed his arms, "You don't actually think he's decent."

She knew that if she told him the truth, he'd argue with her. She knew Sev didn't approve of James and she knew James didn't approve of Sev. It was light she was caught at a crossroads. Sev was a road familiar, one she'd traveled many times before. James was a new road filled with intriguing warmth and daunting detachment from her childhood.

Lily purposely glanced at the clock on the wall and changed the subject, "Do you want to leave? I'm getting bored."

"You would have fun if you'd just apologize to Amelia." Sev said, "Instead of flirting with Potter."

Lily turned red, "I _wasn't_ flirting."

Sev's chest puffed out, "Right."

Lily grew cold, "Come or not, but I'm going back to the common room."

"It's only nine of ten," Snape derided, "we don't have school tomorrow."

"Suit yourself." Lily took a step back to leave Sev, wishing she had joined James when he'd asked, "I want to go cuddle Juniper."

Sev's shoulders dropped as he realized he couldn't keep her there, so he started following Lily out of the party mumbling, "You love that cat more than me."

"I love that cat more than anyone." Lily corrected Sev good-naturedly, "Don't feel bad about being second best."

They weren't the only ones heading back to the common room. A few other Slytherins trailed behind, including Amelia who stayed very far from Lily and Sev. Despite leaving the party at the same time, Amelia arrived back to the dorm much later when Lily was already curled up under her blankets with Juniper. Lily disregarded Amelia for the most part, only because her brain kept restating James' wide smile into her memory. James really did know how to light up even the dullest of days and Slug Club parties. Lily fell asleep and dreamed of his quick smile, a memorable laugh and delicate traces of something that seemed more concentrated than a joint camaraderie.

The next day, Lily was staring right at a spot just below the windows in the common room, trying not to think about her dreams. The windows in the Slytherin common room somehow always magically reflected what it would look like underneath the lake. Sometimes, when the lights hit the windows just right, the entire common room seemed to be underwater and Lily felt like she was drowning in a sea of green. Even now, when the common room was filled with talking students and people studying, the water reflected ripples off the ceiling as little shadows of fish passed by. It was an enchanting and calming effect but even with the calming effects of the water ripples on the walls, Lily felt more isolated than she'd felt in a long time.

Amelia and Knott were completely shunning her. Any attempts of getting Amelia and Lily to smooth over their relationship were lost. Even Sev couldn't get Amelia to talk to Lily. Both girls were incredibly headstrong and wanted the other to apologize. Of course, without Amelia, Lily grasped just how in-over her head she was. Besides a few of the younger students and some of the kinder members on the quidditch team, Lily spent most of her time in the common room wishing she were someplace else.

Even now, when Lily pulled her eyes away from the watery walls and sought Sev out amongst the sea of green bodies, he was laughing over by the bookshelves with his Death Eater friends. She didn't understand how Sev could stand any of them, they were all the same arrogant bastards. Lily was almost 100 percent sure that Rosier was the one putting the posters up in the common room. Lily had already taken down at least ten posters in the last month. They all said the same shit about rising up over the muggleborns and calling for magical reform.

Lily was tired of waking up every morning to Amelia's slighted stares and then coming into the common room to find that overnight, more posters had gone up. Lily felt like she was fighting a one-woman battle and she was just about ready to go ask Professor Slughorn for some help. Lily had to see Slughorn privately anyways. Lily still hadn't asked him about an internship at the Ministry and her mother had written, asking if she'd heard anything.

With a gloomy sigh, Lily stood up, ready to go find Professor Slughorn and beg for some help when a small child with large glasses and an even larger frown, stopped Lily in her tracks.

"You are the Head Girl, right?" the girl peeped, wide blue eyes staring at Lily.

Lily glanced at the doorway she wished she were exiting before she turned her attention to the small girl, "Yes, my name is Lily. What's wrong?"

Lily didn't ever recall seeing this girl around before. Small, she had slicked back black hair and freckles that dotted all over her face and down her arms. She had a very slim, gaunt face but it was her bottle blue eyes that stood out from it all, giving the girl a permanently shocked expression. Her robes were solid green, marking her either as a second or third year.

"I need to show you something." The girl looked consumed by some sort of guilt, looking over her shoulder tersely, "will you come with me?"

Lily tilted her head, "What's wrong? What's your name?"

The little girl motioned for Lily to follow, shaking her head that she didn't want to talk. Curiosity getting the best of Lily, she started following the girl, concern and apprehension growing in her stomach as she realized people were sneering at the small second year as she passed. Lily shared looks with Regulus Black, Eric Brown, Hannah Blishwick and Severus, three of her only real friends left in Slytherin. All of them had been gathered under the bookshelves and they watched as Lily was led to the girl's dormitories by the small child.

"Where are you going?" Severus called after her, uneasiness etched in his black eyes as she followed the girl.

"Head Girl junk."

Lily didn't even bother waiting for Sev to speak again. The small girl moved quickly, and Lily had to skip ahead a bit to catch up to her. The girl led her to the second-year dormitories where the door was cracked, but not open all the way. The girl stopped at the door, her head hanging low, two fingers on the wood.

"What's wrong?" Lily asked again, "Why'd we stop?"

The girl lifted her baby doll eyes and murmured, "I don't want to get in trouble."

Lily lifted a brow, "What's your name?"

"Olivia," the girls words slurred but Lily was able to catch her name, "Olivia Swift."

Lily kneeled down to the girl's level, still puzzled, "Why are you worried you're going to be in trouble?"

Olivia's thin lip wobbled as she pushed the dormitory door open with her two fingers. Lily turned her cheek to look into the room. Immediately, she slowly stood up as her eyes adjusted to the scene inside the second-year dorm. A short string of profanities left Lily's lips as her eyes took in the slashed four poster curtains, the ripped pillows and the pieces of paper strewn around the room. The girl, Olivia, was in tears as Lily scrutinized the chaotic room.

"I swear it wasn't me." Olivia bawled, "I got back from lunch and found it like this!"

"These are your things?" Lily queried, dropping her gaze back to the girl, "where are your roommates?"

Olivia shook her little head, "I don't know."

Lily dropped her shoulders and walked into the second-year dorm, gathering that all the other beds were intact and only Olivia's things had been affected. It was a personal attack, clearly, but Lily didn't know why. That is, until Lily pushed back the bed drapery and words were painted in green ink against the wall. The ink was relatively fresh, some of it dripping onto the bedspread.

" _Go home, mudblood_." Lily whispered, her stomach immediately churning as she realized what was happening.

Lily dropped the curtain and spun on her heel to stare at the girl sobbing into her hands, frozen in the doorway. Lily's heart ached for Olivia who had become a victim of circumstance at twelve years old. Lily felt woozy as she imagined herself standing in Olivia's shoes at twelve years old. The room walls seemed to close in on Lily like a prison cell.

Olivia's cries vibrated in Lily's ears, "I want to go home."

Lily felt like she was looking into a mirror that showed what could have been. A little Lily Evans, tired of being alone, with few friends, and people fighting to break you. Lily's hand absentmindedly rose to her forehead, pressing down as if she had a huge headache when in all reality, she was just dizzy from looking at a version of herself that she'd so desperately tried to keep buried. Lily didn't feel anything like herself as she stood there, in fact she hated herself.

Lily detested that she'd lied while letting girls like Olivia be shredded by purist bigots, that she'd let herself ever think everything was going to be okay and eventually the war against muggleborns would end.

Lily hated everything in the room and what it promptly symbolized.

"I'm so sorry." Lily breathed to Olivia, not sure what else to say or do.

Lily's head twisted back to the written words, showing in bits through the slashed bed curtains. Anger, guilt and despair overcame Lily in waves as she realized the prejudice was never going to end. In fact, it seemed to only be getting worse. Lily ripped her eyes away from the words that someone had written on the walls to purposely frighten a twelve-year-old.

Olivia was still standing, her head down, in the doorway.

"Come on," Lily tried not to cry as she stepped away from the beds and back to the girl in the doorway, "we're going to Headmaster Dumbledore."

Lily managed to herd the small girl out of the dorms. Severus was waiting right outside of the girl's dorm, eyebrows expressing his apprehension to even say one word to Lily. Lily led a crying Olivia towards the common room door. Lily shook her head at Sev, sending him a warning look and then glancing down anxiously at Olivia. Severus didn't like that he wasn't getting answers, so he followed them out the door as people watched. The door shut loudly behind them, but Lily didn't feel any better, she still felt like she was surrounded by green tinted prison bars. She felt like she wasn't breathing, every emotion was swelling up in her so deeply.

"Where are you going?" Sev insisted, long legs keeping up with Lily's shorter ones.

"Dumbledore."

"The headmaster?" Severus rasped, "What happened?"

Lily kept her mouth firmly shut as she marched Olivia up the staircase. Sev, never one to take a hint, followed on Lily's heels. Some students, wandering around the halls, stopped to watch, mostly because Olivia's face was still tear streaked. Lily barely realized she passed Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, it was only because Black called out _'where's the fire'_ that Lily's brain even registered them. Severus kept asking what was going on, but Lily stayed mute, determined to get Olivia to the Headmasters office without breaking into tears herself.

Dumbledore's office was open, thankfully. The Headmaster was a tall silver haired man who wore colorful robes and had an equally as colorful personality. Lily had only had a few meetings with him, but she trusted that he wouldn't let something so serious, slip through the cracks. When Lily entered the office, Severus hung back, clearly knowing better than to follow a crying child and Head Girl.

Dumbledore looked up from a book he was reading, eyes perceptively zeroing in on Olivia's crying and Lily's arm protectively wrapped around the second year.

"Someone wrote ghastly things on the second-year Slytherin dorm walls and broke Olivia's things." Lily said, without even waiting for Dumbledore to speak, "She—shes upset and wants to go home."

Dumbledore's eyes left Olivia to trace Lily's hard expression. Lily wondered if he could tell that she was at her breaking point. Dumbledore leaned off his desk and waved his hand slightly. Behind Lily, the office doors shut, leaving Sev outside alone. Lily chewed on her bottom lip as Dumbledore walked forward and put a hand on Olivia's shoulder, guiding her from Lily's protective arm.

"Miss Swift," Dumbledore said, "Right?"

Olivia nodded resentfully.

"What happened?" he asked calmly.

Olivia wiped her eyes, looking up at Dumbledore with watery blue eyes. Lily stepped into the shadow of the bookcase, wrapping her arms around her middle as her troubled mind tried to deal with the heaving motion in her gut. Lily's brain replayed the dorm scene over and over again. If anything went wrong, if anyone ever found out about her, she knew it would be worse for her. So many people, once the truth was revealed, would either hate her for lying or hate her for telling the truth.

Lily spoke up suddenly, over Olivia, "Sorry, I—uhm—I need to go."

She didn't care if the panic in her voice was evident. She didn't look Dumbledore in the eyes, and she didn't even look back at little Olivia, instead she ran. She tried to run once she was out of the double door, but Severus was waiting in the hallway. He grabbed her arm, his long fingers clenching around her wrist like handcuffs. His black eyes were fraught with worry as Lily was yanked back and into him.

"What _happened_?"

Lily tried to suck in a breath of air, but it just sounded like she was crying. Sev's forehead creased with lines as his grip shook her a bit.

"Lily?" he demanded, "What happened?"

Lily stared into his dark eyes and she didn't know how to say all the things churning in her head because Sev wouldn't understand. He couldn't—he was always with the people who wanted people like Lily and Olivia out of their house, out of their school, and out of their world. They'd both been so excited to travel down the rabbit hole together as kids, neither of them knowing what was in store. Sev swore she'd be safe if she stayed with him in Slytherin. Sev had promised her that being muggleborn wouldn't matter. Lily had trusted Sev knew best, but a part of her was starting to wonder if Sev could really know anything if she felt her worst in the place he deemed her best chance.

Sev stared at her, awaiting her answer.

"Someone— _someone_ wrecked all her things." Lily panic engulfed her, "And wrote awful things on her wall."

Sev's brows were cinched so tight, they looked woven together, "What?"

Lily's voice wobbled as she ripped her arm from his grasp, "She's muggleborn Sev! And they ruined all her things! They called her a mu- _they called her a mudblood_."

"Lily," Sev's voice sounded pained as she shook her head and backed away from him, "you can't tell anyone. Don't you see? This is just proof! You're safer pretending!"

"That's me Severus!" Lily cried out wretchedly, "That cry and terrified little girl in there? That's who I am! Who I really am!"

"You don't want to be that!" Severus cried back, trying to jump forward to grab her again, "Lily, if you tell anyone then everything will be ruined! Don't rush to play a hero when you've got too many enemies! I can protect you from that shit, but only if you stay."

Lily stared at him, the water in her eyes clouding her vision. When she was twelve, she'd believed in Severus because he was her best friend. She'd trusted him with every fiber of her being. After all, he'd been there since the first day, guiding her and showing her a magical wonderland where he claimed they'd both flourish amongst magic.

Lily didn't feel like she was successful, she felt like she was losing her mind.

"I need to get some fresh air."

"I'll come with you." Severus jumped forward.

"No!" Lily said it too quickly and she saw his shadow flinch, "No," she repeated in a softer tone, "I want to be alone."

She let her feet carry her past memorable faces in portraits and the expressions of her fellow students. For seven years Lily had kept a lie from everyone. Even her own parents had no idea what she was dealing with at school. Lily's heart ached as she thought of her mother, who would be devastated to find out that her daughter was seemingly ashamed to be muggleborn.

Lily _wasn't_ ashamed of being muggleborn, she was ashamed for letting Severus talk her into lying about it. Now, she thought of Olivia who had no one in her house to look up too. As far as Lily knew, they were the only muggleborns in the house. Lily knew that if she hadn't had Severus as her mentor when she'd first arrived…she'd be in the same world as Olivia.

Lily found herself shaking back her tears, not wanting anyone to see her cry. Luckily, no one really paid Lily any attention as she made her way out into the chilly October air. A few students were wandering the grounds, bundled against the chilly fall air. She hadn't been sitting under her favorite tree by the lake for longer than a few seconds, when she heard footsteps behind her.

Furious at Sev for not listening she turned and shouted, "I said I wanted to be alone!"

Sirius Black and Remus Lupin both held their hands up in defense when she glared daggers in their direction. She was taken aback to see James' mates and she snapped her mouth shut quickly. Black sent Lupin a look, as if it were Lupin's fault Lily was crotchety. Lupin disregarded Black and traced Lily's face enquiringly with his kind eyes.

"We wanted to make sure you were okay, you looked pretty upset coming back out from the Headmasters office." Lupin took another step towards her, despite Black's hand on his arm, warning Lupin to stay back.

Lily smeared the tears from her cheeks as she said frantically, "I'm fine."

"See, I told you." Black said snottily to Lupin, "She's fine, let's go."

Black tried to tug Lupin away, but Lupin was examining the new tears rolling down from the corners of Lily's eyes. Lily miserably looked away from Lupin, not understanding why they even cared.

"You were with a little Slytherin girl before," Lupin remarked softly, "Olivia, she looked upset."

Lily sniffed and looked at Lupin weirdly, "You know her?"

"I helped her out at the start of the year," Lupin said, "Some of her classmates were teasing her before class."

"She was being picked on?"

Lupin nodded, "She's muggleborn."

"Right," Lily coughed back another wretched sob, "Well, she's with Dumbledore, she'll be fine."

"But are you okay?" Lupin inquired.

Lily just stared at Lupin, unsure of what to even say…she had to be so cautious…it was dangerous to wish things would change if she'd just tell someone her secret. She wondered what these Gryffindors would say, if she told them the truth. Black would probably laugh, scorn her, call her a hypocrite like the Slytherins call him a traitor.

Lupin nodded stiffly, as if sensing Lily's inability to say more than a few words. Black was more than happy to start pushing Lupin back to wherever they'd come from. Lily stared at Black's face, surprised to realize that all those years ago, she'd chosen Slytherin to be with her friend Severus. She remembered watching Black and Potter get sorted into Gryffindor and deciding it was a house full of bullies. James' cryptic words about Black from their rounds adventure a week before replayed in her head.

"Black!" Lily found herself calling out his name, only to regret her slip up when Black turned to glare at her.

"What?"

He looked like his brother, cold and off-putting. Still, she got along well enough with Black's brother Regulus. He was her favorite on the quidditch team and she wondered if any of Regulus' clever bravado could be found in his brother Sirius. His hand left Lupin's shoulder to rest on his hip as he gawked at Lily sitting on the cold hard ground.

She decided to take a risk and start asking questions to someone other than a Slytherin, "Can I ask you a question?"

Black seemed alarmed by her question, it hadn't been what he was expecting. Lupin, the kinder of the two, stepped towards Lily, pushing Black with him. Lupin hissed something in Black's ear that sounded vaguely like 'remember James' and Black's haughty look dropped for a fraction of a second. Black looked over to a nearby tree where Lily saw one of their mates waiting for them. It was clear he didn't want to spend any more time near Lily than necessary, only being told to do so by some request of James.

"It'll be quick," Lily promised hastily as she wiped tears from her eyes.

"Make it quick."

Black made his way over to where Lily sat and stood over her, his arms crossed almost insecurely. Lupin stayed a little off to the left, his eyes perceptively passing between the two. Lily didn't know why, but it felt like Lupin was protecting Lily, as if Lupin didn't quite know what was about to happen. Lily wiped another set of tears as she surveyed the red and gold of Sirius' robes that set him apart from his younger brother.

"Your little brother looks like you." Lily started gracelessly.

"I'm sure James wishes he looks as good as me, but he doesn't even come close." Black said, pretending to fluff his hair like James always did.

Lily swallowed, "I was talking about Regulus."

Black agitatedly shifted weight onto his left foot, "Don't know him."

Lily decided she wasn't getting anywhere with him, so she skipped semantics and said bluntly, "why did you run away from home?"

Black's grey eyes shifted, and he looked at Lily, really looked at her for the first time, "been listening to common room gossip?"

"James actually said something to me about it after Amelia—after she told me you were kicked out."

Black's narrowed his eyes, only focusing on one bit of her sentence, "You call him James now?"

Lily pushed her shoe into the muddy embankment, "That's his name, isn't it?" she asked sullenly, "and anyways, what's it matter what I call him?"

"I'm his brother," Black said, "Blood be damned and I don't like him being around you."

"Well you'll have to get over that." Lily defended herself, "We're friends now."

"But why?" Black asked, "Your best friend is Severus Snape."

"I don't know why," Lily exclaimed, "Does it matter? Besides, I didn't ask you to stay so we could argue about why James lost his mind and decided he wanted to be my friend."

"Why did you stop me?" Black asked, "Why could you possibly need to know about my personal life?"

Lily was aware she'd probably overstepped some boundary Black had but she didn't care. She didn't know how she could live in her broken world and she needed guidance. She didn't care who helped her gain a sense of herself in the messed-up world she lived in, but she was determined to start getting answers.

"I just want to know if you left them, or if they kicked you out."

Black glanced back at Lupin, as if blaming Lupin for his current situation. When Black turned back to Lily, he looked vaguely annoyed.

"The Black's weren't my family. They would've thrown me out eventually for not conforming to their purist agenda." He said, "They were trying to change me, fix me and they probably were arrogant enough to think they could."

"You ran away so that they _couldn't_ kick you out?" Lily questioned, wondering what had pushed his family and him to such a thin line.

But a part of her already knew, he must've supported people like Lily.

"That's the way the world works," Sirius spat unpleasantly, "You got to leave, before you get left."

"Sounds lonely." Lily murmured, staring at her nails instead of at his face, "always running."

She looked up when he heard a deep chuckle come from his throat. Black was shaking his head at her, folding his arms over his chest. His eyes were analyzing the tear trails on her cheeks.

"Evans," he said, "the bravest thing I ever did was run."

"I don't understand."

"I wouldn't expect you too, considering the company you keep." Black looked at her, for once, sensitively, "You're half-blood and your dorm is filled with the royal bloods. You're a product of their egocentrism."

She had no idea what Black meant so she just stared pointedly at his left shoulder. Behind Black, Lupin had edged a bit closer, worry sharper in his eyes. Black looked back over to Lupin before considering Lily again with a dark expression.

"What happened to the little girl?"

Lily pushed her fingers through her hair as she sucked in a breath, "someone broke into her dorm and wrecked all her things."

Lupin hissed and Black looked sickened.

"Do you know who it was?" Lupin asked, acting as if he'd avenge Olivia himself.

Lily shook her head, "No, if it was one person being prejudiced, I could narrow it down but—"

Sirius laughed darkly as he realized what Lily was implying, "They're all bigots, Evans. How did you not know that? Look at my brother."

"No," Lily said, defending Regulus, "He's a good kid!"

"Bullocks." Black retorted, "He's just as clueless as the rest of Slytherins."

Lily shot Black her own glare, sharp and pointed, "Why do you hate Slytherin house _so_ much? Your whole family has been in Slytherin. I know you were supposed to be sorted into it, everyone talks about how you broke your family tradition."

"Yeah," Black snarled bitterly, "I'm sure they do."

Lupin patted Sirius' shoulder, "Easy, Padfoot."

Black listened to Lupin and lowered his shoulders as he said, "I don't know what your mates have said about me, but I suffered miserably, for years under the Black family reputation. I watched the weight of family name almost kill my favorite cousin Andy. My Uncle Alfred's partner was killed by my own father _just_ for being muggleborn. Every day that I was forced to live in that household was Hell."

"Your father killed a muggleborn?" Lily was horrified, Black looked as if it were another, everyday family drama.

"I looked for any opportunity to embarrass my sick parents and their twisted ideals buy doing the exact opposite of what they expected of me." Black continued, "So I asked that soring hat to put me in Gryffindor with the boy I'd met on the train."

"James," Perceptively Lily leaned against the trunk of her tree, "So you _asked_ the hat to be in Gryffindor."

"I wasn't about to let that stupid hat send me over to Slytherin with the rest of the toxic purist elite who treated themselves like royals." Black snorted as if the idea were humorous, "And then, as I got older, I got smarter, just in the nick of time. I ran away the summer I turned fifteen and the Potter's welcomed me into their lives with open arms. I've never looked back."

"What would you have done?" Lily asked wonderingly, "if it didn't do what you'd asked?"

"If what didn't?" Black asked, clearly over the conversation.

"Who would you have become," Lily looked up at him with curiosity, "if the hat had ignored you and put you in Slytherin anyways?"

"I dunno Evans," Black sighed, as if the conversation was dragging, "I 'spect I'd be pretty damn miserable after seven years of purist bullshite."

Lily was surprised to find that for the first time in her life, she actually agreed with Sirius Black. She felt as if a shade had been pulled up from her eyes, allowing her to see Black in a new light. He hadn't wanted to be in Gryffindor because he knew that going to Slytherin would only bring him shame. Black knew who he was inside and out, confident. She wondered if he assumed that anyone who went into Slytherin was heartless because of the scars he had from watching his own family go mad with power.

"Did James' family really adopt you, no questions asked?" she probed for more answers, wondering what else she'd learn if she played nice.

"They didn't need to ask," Black said bitterly, "the Potter's hate families like mine."

"But they're pureblood too." Lily said, "Aren't they worried about keeping their blood pure?"

"Who do you think James _is_?" Lupin asked horrifically as more questions formed on the tip of Lily's tongue, "you've got some nerve just assuming all purebloods are gits."

Lily tucked her hair behind her ear and looked down at the ground again, "Your right, I was being...hypercritical. I learned a lot from Severus, and he learned everything he knows from his mum who's pureblood."

"Did Snape do something to Olivia?" Lupin asked suddenly, "I saw him going to the Headmasters office too."

Lily shook her head, "No, he was just trying to help."

"Help." Black scoffed, "I thank Godric himself everyday that I'm in Gryffindor and not sharing a dorm with Snape and the rest of his Death Eater posse lurking around—oh sorry, I forgot your friends with that git."

Sirius didn't look very sorry at all. In fact, he'd aimed those words purposely to get a rise out of Lily. She tucked her knees up so she could place her chin on them. The cold autumn air was starting to cut through her clothes and she shivered.

"Forgive Sirius," Lupin said swiftly, "He's always had a poor relationship with Snape."

"I know." Lily grumbled, "he hates you lot, more than anyone else."

"We _did_ try to get him expelled in second year." Black said nonchalantly, "and Snape's tried to expel us ever since."

Lily's eyes popped open and she stared at Sirius incredulously, "Expel Severus?" she said, "What?"

Lupin spoke, instead of Black, "Snape never told you?"

"Told me _what_?"

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Your mate Snivellus almost gutted James in second year over the Christmas Holidays."

Lily blinked rapidly, "He never said—"

"Of course, he didn't." Sirius brushed her commented aside quickly, "He ties to act like he's innocent."

"James and Snape have a very complicated history," Lupin reasoned, "They'd hated each other from the minute they set eyes on each other."

"I know they fought a lot as kids," Lily said, "But Sev wouldn't try to kill James. That's extreme, even for him."

"Who told you that?" Black snorted, "Snivellus? Because your friend? He knows more dark magic than anyone in this school."

"That's not true." Lily shook her head angrily, "You don't know him like I do."

Lupin nodded in support of Black's accusations, "Why do you think Greta Catchlove was so scared to duel Snape?" Lupin asked her, "His reputation precedes him."

"Trust me," Lily said nervously, not knowing how to defend Sev without giving away her secret, "Sev I mean, he's not like Mulciber or Rosier. He can't be. He's just playing—Sev is insecure and he has a hard time making friends so he probably acts like the others to fit in...but he wouldn't go down that path. Not _really_."

Lupin looked unconvinced, "Are you sure of that, Evans?"

"Positive." Lily said, "I know he can be a lot, but that's just because he's so insecure."

"Evans, Snape isn't insecure." Sirius snarled, "He just wants to prove he's better than everyone else and gets flustered when someone like James comes along and beats him."

"You think you know Sev better than me," Lily frowned considerably, "but we grew up in the same small town, he's not like the people he keeps himself around. I know where he came from and it's the farthest thing from dark magic. He's not like the purebloods in your family Black. He's not even pureblood."

"No, but you don't have to be pureblood to want reform for muggleborns," Black said, "personally, I think Snape is much worse than any pureblood that you think I'm comparing him too."

"Worse?" Lily pushed herself up off the ground so she could stand face to face with Black as she defended Severus, "He's done more for me than you could ever know."

"Like what?" Black seemed unintimidated by her, "Evans, you're destined to become his trophy wife to bring to all the Death Eater meetings after school."

Lily's lip wobbled, "I'd _never_ join the Death Eaters." She whispered tragically, "How dare you? You think you know me, but you don't know _anything_."

Black shrugged, as if he didn't care that he'd just hurt Lily more than he could possibly know.

"What Sirius probably meant, is that we might see a different side to Snape than you." Lupin tried to save his mate from Lily's death glares, "James mentioned he thinks that Snape doesn't always tell you the truth."

Lily blinked rapidly, "What?"

"The only question is," Black looked her up and down, "why would Snape keep you in the dark?"

"He doesn't keep me in the dark," Lily snapped irritably, "and James has no right to think that."

"Ask dearest Snivellus about second year." Sirius challenged her, "and then ask James his version. I guarantee you that Snape won't tell you the whole story."

Like a snake, Sev's voice slithered through her head: _trust me, trust me, trust me_. Black seemed over Lily's disputing as he turned to Lupin with a look that practically screamed his dissatisfaction out loud. They both turned to leave Lily alone but before Black got too far away, he turned back to her with one last piece of advice.

"Just look around you Evans," he shouted, "open up those pretty little eyes and you'll start to notice that your _friends_ are not always who you think they are."

Lily spent the rest of her afternoon sitting under her tree, throwing pebbles into the lake and watching the ripples spread out over the top of the water. She debated going to find Sev and ask him about second year. She debated hunting down James and demanding to know why he sought to diminish her relationship with Severus among his mates. She wanted to know why James was even talking about her to them anyways, it was clear Black had no intentions of ever being her friend.

Lily stared out at the castle grounds wishing that she had someone she could talk to besides Severus. It wasn't that she didn't trust Sev, but something about Black and Lupin had her wondering if Sev had been trying to hide things from her. It wasn't the first time she'd considered it. Sometimes she'd happen upon him alone in the library and he'd snap whatever book he was reading shut, stuffing it into his robes. Still, other than hiding his light reading from her, she hadn't ever had a reason not to trust Severus.

He was the one who'd kept her secret all these years. As a friend, that was a big show of his character. If Sev really practiced dark arts and wanted to be a Death Eater, he probably wouldn't go out of his way to protect Lily. It's not like she had anything to offer him besides her friendship and loyalty.

Lily's nose, toes and fingers were frozen by the time she made her way back to the castle.

Her feet carried her back to Headmaster Dumbledore's office, knowing she'd need to apologize for her abrupt departure early that afternoon. She was nervous that Olivia would still be there, but his office was devoid of any crying second year Slytherins. His office was wide open again when Lily entered, showing off his dimly lit library. The Headmaster was sitting next to a bird with red and golden plumage. The bird spotted her first, cooing softly so that Dumbledore looked up from the newspaper article he was reading through his half-moon glasses.

"Lily!" he said tenderly, as if she hadn't run out on him earlier, "I sent Professor Slughorn to find you, but Mr. Snape told him you asked to be alone."

"Sorry about that." Lily flushed, "I forgot myself."

Dumbledore motioned to a cushy armchair, empty next to his own. The scarlet bird watched as Lily took Dumbledore's invitation and cumbersomely slid into the armchair. She stared back at the bird, in awe of it's large size and beautiful colors that seemed to glow in the dim office. Dumbledore noted her interest and spoke before she could even have the chance to ask.

"He's a phoenix." Dumbledore illuminated, "I got Fawkes as a gift from one of my old students."

"He's quite lovely." Lily said faintly, "I've never heard of it before."

"They're quite rare." Dumbledore said, "mostly found in China and India. Newt, my student, found him chained up in a mosque and rescued him."

"Newt," Lily recognized the name from class textbooks and turned her attention back to Dumbledore, "Scamander?"

Dumbledore nodded, "He was a student here at Hogwarts many years ago."

"What house was he in?"

"Hufflepuff." Dumbledore said affectionately, "he was quiet, not a lot of students understood him."

"He had no friends?" Lily asked, surprised.

"No," Dumbledore, "He did, he was often seen with Leta Lestrange, a Slytherin."

Lily was awestruck, "A Slytherin and a Hufflepuff were friends?"

"Indeed, in fact, she was to be married to his brother, another Hufflepuff."

"Was?"

"She died protecting her friends from a dark wizard." Dumbledore seemed lost for a moment before shaking himself, "But that just goes to show you that not all Slytherins choose to follow the path that Salazar Slytherin intended for his students."

Lily grew excited, "Was she a muggleborn too?"

Dumbledore laughed suddenly, "No, no my dear. She was pureblood."

Lily hummed her acknowledgement as she watched the bird watch her with intelligent beady eyes. She wished there were stories of successful muggleborns who escaped the detrimental effects of Slytherin house. She wished she knew more about where the prejudices came from.

The bird grew bored of Lily and returned to preening its beautiful feathers. Lily sighed and stuffed her hands underneath her as she turned her thoughtfulness back to Headmaster Dumbledore. It seemed he'd been waiting for her to speak; his blue eyes were shining at her.

"Is Olivia alright?" she asked, "I was worried about her."

Dumbledore placed his paper on his lap before stroking his beard, "I'm afraid I had Professor Rogers take her home, as per Olivia's request."

"She left?" Lily whispered, brokenhearted, "No! She was only twelve!"

"I cannot keep students here against their will," Dumbledore said firmly, "Although, I might've been able to convince her to stay, had her Head Girl not run out from my study."

Red flashed across Lily's cheeks and she dropped her head with embarrassment. Dumbledore folded his hands into his lap as Lily chewed on her lower lip, waiting to be reprimanded but no sort of disappointment fell from Dumbledore's lips. Instead, he simply waited her out, knowing she'd speak when she could.

"I'm sorry for leaving so abruptly," she finally said, meaning every word, "I just-I didn't know what to say to her. I never thought people could be so cruel."

"We're in dark times Miss Evans," Dumbledore said, "in times like these, not even the innocent can be spared from the darkness."

"I wish I had been able to talk to her." Lily said, "I wish I could've been better, I don't know why I ran. I just got overwhelmed."

Dumbledore eyed her wisely, "Do you know why I picked you to be Head Girl?"

"Because Slughorn asked you." Lily muttered inconsolably, recalling the words others had repeated to her face over and over again.

"No," Dumbledore said coolly, "I picked you because I know you can be a good role model."

"I'm no role model," she sourly flicked at a piece of dirt on her robes, "Not even close."

"Miss Evans," Dumbledore disagreed firmly, "I have it from multiple staff members, including the deputy Headmistress, that you are kind to everyone around you. Even those who don't necessarily deserve kindness have been treated with such by you. Your own Head Boy, why he only ever has nice things to say about working with you. Even going so far as to describe you as the perfect Head Girl."

Lily eyed Dumbledore, a sudden burst of warmth shooting to her cold toes at the mention of James, "He said that?" she sighed, "James said I was a perfect Head Girl?"

Dumbledore smiled at her, the edges of his beard lifting, "Miss Evans, if I were to quote Mr. Potter, word for word, we'd be sitting here an awfully long time."

The red flush across her cheeks was no longer due to mortification. Lily wished she had rounds with James that night, just so she could thank him, but it would have to wait for Sunday. She wondered if he'd blush, knowing that Dumbledore had told Lily that he'd come in to gush about her. A part of Lily wondered if she ought to just pretend Dumbledore didn't say anything. Another part of Lily wanted to hug James for even going out of his way to tell Dumbledore how much he liked working with her.

"James is good too," she said, squeezing her hands as they rested on her lap, "He makes even the most difficult nights fun. He's got one of those smiles that just lights up whatever room he's in, you know? I absolutely can't thank you enough for making him Head Boy."

Dumbledore chuckled, blue eyes wide behind his glasses, "Well, Professor McGonagall will be disappointed to hear that you both are so fond of each other."

"Sir?" Lily's head tilted in interest at him, confused.

"Don't tell her I told you but," Dumbledore winked at Lily, "Your transfiguration teacher thought you and Mr. Potter wouldn't last one month with each other without setting the school on fire, what with your quidditch rivalry."

Lily laughed for the first time that day and leaned back into her chair, "We don't talk about quidditch around each other, for the sake of our friendship and the castle."

Dumbledore nodded, "I must say, before you leave, I do believe that you and Mr. Potter make a very good team."

Dumbledore had such an outward way of looking at things, but he was right, it was impressive that Lily and James had gone from rivals to friends in a matter of months. Still, their friendship did nothing to lessen the threats to muggleborns. Olivia wasn't the first and she wouldn't be the last.

"I need to tell you," Lily spoke up valiantly, "Before Olivia's room was trashed, the last few weeks, I've been pulling anti-muggleborn posters off the walls in the Slytherin commons."

Dumbledore sighed deeply and pressed to fingers to the bridge of his nose, "Are you sure they're nowhere else?" he asked, voice breaking a bit.

"James said he hasn't seen any in Gryffindor, we haven't checked with the other houses. We didn't want to give anyone else any ideas."

Dumbledore nodded tersely, "No, of course. You two were right, it's better to just keep it contained to Slytherin house." He exhaled and then looked at Lily again with his remarkably blue eyes, "Olivia was the last Slytherin muggleborn, correct?"

Lily felt like she was burning up under his gaze, "I can check the student files."

Luckily, Dumbledore didn't press, "Well," he said, "it's likely that whoever is targeting muggleborns is coming from your house. I'll issue a statement to the Professors so they can check their common rooms and do a sweep of the dorms. Can you and Mr. Potter—"

"Oh!" a higher pitched voice was startled as she walked into the room to find Dumbledore and Lily in the armchairs, "Sorry Albus, I wasn't aware you had a meeting."

Lily recognized Professor Rogers right away, even though the woman wore a bright yellow tunic. Seeing the Defense against the Dark Arts teacher in muggle clothes threw her off guard and she dropped her eyes quickly, despite Professor Rogers' smile. Professor Dumbledore welcomed Professor Rogers into the study with arm motions.

"Come in," he said, "Lily and I were just discussing Miss Swift."

Professor Rogers bowed her head, "She's going to be just fine. I spoke to her family and they've got some relatives in America."

"Good, good." Dumbledore said distractingly from beside Lily, "did you give them my letter?"

"Yes," Professor Rogers took a seat on Dumbledore's desk, casual, as if she and Dumbledore were very old friends, "They promised to read it on their flight."

Lily looked back and forth between Professor Rogers and Dumbledore as they talked. She was confused as to why Professor Rogers was dressed like a muggle if everyone in Olivia's family knew about magic anyways. As if he could read Lily's mind, Dumbledore explained Roger's outfit choice.

"In order to keep Olivia's family safe," he said, "we had to convince them to relocate."

"Where are they going?" Lily asked.

Professor Rogers grinned at Lily, as if it were just another day moving muggles around, "A place called Connecticut, in America. They'll be safer in America and Olivia can finish her education there."

"Muggleborns aren't safe here?" Lily absorbed an dreadful inclination with a sharp intake of air, "What about the other muggleborns in the other houses?"

"We'll all stick together somehow." Rogers said, throwing Lily for another loop.

" _You're_ muggleborn?" Lily's eyes widened at Professor Rogers, "But—but you're an Auror!"

Professor Rogers' head tilted at Lily, "Who said muggleborns can't be Aurors?"

Lily blinked rapidly, "E-everyone?"

Professor Rogers raised one brow and looked at Dumbledore, "What have your staff been teaching these kids?"

Dumbledore chuckled, "I don't know if it's the staff, as much as it's the students."

"Ah," Professor Rogers seemed distracted, "Well, Miss Evans, muggleborns can be Aurors if the right people pick up your application." She looked Lily up and down, "Are you muggleborn?"

"No."

The lie fell off Lily's lips so naturally but now it stung as she said it and she couldn't help freezing as Dumbledore's eyes fell back to her. If Dumbledore knew the truth, or knew she was lying, he didn't correct her. Lily's heart was beating so fast that Lily thought it might explode from her chest.

"Hm," Rogers crossed her arms, "well, with the direction our government is headed, it's certainly harder for witches like me, but there are no laws saying muggleborns can't be Aurors. The biggest thing is just getting past the prejudiced idiots running the Ministry. I had help from my husband, he got me my spot in the Academy."

Lily was looking at Rogers in a whole new light. Not only was the Professor an ex-Auror who could kick everyone's arse in dueling…she was also a muggleborn. It was like the complete opposite feeling that Lily had when looking at Olivia. Olivia was broken, Professor Rogers was whole. Rogers was proof that muggleborns could be just as resilient and authoritative as purebloods.

"Now," Dumbledore's voice cut through Lily's subconscious, "I need Mr. Potter and you to make sure that none of the muggleborn prefects are doing rounds alone. I don't want any accidents that could easily be prevented."

"Of course," Lily said, "I'll check the lists myself."

"Professor Slughorn already moved the rest of the second year Slytherin girls into a new dorm. The house elves will work on cleaning the other dorm up tonight."

"Thank you." Lily stood up, "For everything."

Dumbledore smiled at her, "Thank you, Miss Evans, you're dismissed."

As she passed Rogers, Lily stared, rather awestruck.

"Have good night." She told the professor, her voice cracking with embarrassment.

"See you in class on Monday." Rogers nodded at Lily before turning to Dumbledore, "What do you want me to tell the Ministry?"

Dumbledore sounded tired as he replied, "I'll deal with that. The board won't be happy."

"They're all puppets now." Rogers sounded bitter, "they'll just be happy one less muggleborn resides in these halls."

As Lily left, she sent one more curious look in Professor Rogers' direction. For a muggleborn, Rogers seemed so confident in the world. Lily wondered if the smart Auror had been a Ravenclaw during her time at Hogwarts. Lily wondered if she would have been put in Ravenclaw had she let the had decide. Lily didn't think she was smart enough for Ravenclaw and if she was being honest—a part of her felt like the Gryffindor would've been a good house for her.

It was too late now.

When she got back to the common room, Severus was waiting up for her. He got ahold of Lily's wrist the moment she walked through the door, his eyes burning at her.

"Where have you been?" he asked, "Why do you look like you've been crying?"

Lily shook her head, "I don't want to talk about it, right now."

"Lily." Sev didn't let her pull from his grip, he only tightened his hold, "How can I help?"

Stubbornly Lily lifted her chin, "if you want to help, get your stupid arsehole mates to stop bullying muggleborns."

"Lily you know I can't do that because-"

"I don't care anymore." Lily snarled, "I'm done fighting this alone, Sev. If you want to help me, then talk to Rosier and Knott."

Lily ripped herself from his grasp and stomped away, ignoring his pleads for her to talk to him.

"Lily!"

She heard his voice travel through the girl's dormitories. She knew everyone had seen her fight with him. She knew someone had to have heard her that would take her words offensively. Lily was long past caring what anyone in her house thought of her peculiar care for muggleborns.

All the emotions and ideas running through Lily's head made it hard for her to fall asleep that night, despite Amelia's absence. Lily found herself sleeping with her wand underneath her pillow and waking up every few hours in a panic thanks to the nightmares. They always started out the same, where she was sitting in the Great Hall and then someone would push her out of her seat to the ground. The people around her were always shouting, echoes she heard even when she was awake.

_"Blood traitor!"_

Lily was woken up covered in a sheen of sweat.

_"Mudblood."_

Lily tossed and turned as, in her dreams, some of the Slytherin quidditch team tried to knock her off her broom hundreds of feet in the air.

_"Muggleborn bitch!"_

Rosier pushed her dream-self against the wall and spat into her face.

_"Half-blood fraud!"_

A group stood around her and at the front of the group Olivia's doll-like eyes were accusing Lily.

_"You should have just listened to me!"_

Sev hissed into her mind later, warping her senses.

And the worst of all, was when it was James Potter's face staring at her in her dreams. His face was a muddled mixture of disgust and disbelief. Dream James was more terrifying than James Potter in real life had ever been. He was dangerously attractive, radiant in the darkness of her dream, like an angel come to drag her down to Hell with his weighted words that were aimed at her heart.

_"I don't know why I ever trusted you."_

When she woke up Sunday, she woke slowly. Juniper didn't mind, curling into Lily's chest even more. She spent her day avoiding everyone, slipping out only at curfew to meet James on the third-floor corridor. When he spotted her, his smile grew across his face but Lily only worried about the day she'd see dream-like James.

The one who didn't trust her anymore.

"Hey!" he said cheerily as she dragged her feet over to him, "I didn't see you all day."

When he finally got a good look at her face, puffy from all her crying and lack of sleep, his smile faded. Lily hated it, the pity that flashed across his face.

"Is this about that little girl?" at Lily's confused look he explained, "Remus told me about the muggleborn in your house."

Instead of demanding to know her side of the story, instead of trying to force her to talk, James simply took her hand. His fingers twisted up into hers and she was struck, once again, by how easy it was to hold his hand. She stared at their entwined hands, the darkness around them covering them like a shroud.

James spoke again softly, "I'm so sorry she got sent home. I'm sure you tried your best to convince her to stay."

James' words, spoken to comfort her, only shot through her like a curse. She suddenly realized why she was so upset, it was because she hadn't been there for Olivia as a role model. Lily wanted to find someone to look up to everyday, someone like her. Olivia probably wanted the same as Lily. Now though, Olivia was gone, and Lily had missed her chance to be that very person for Olivia.

Lily looked up into James' eyes and saw nothing but kindness and affection. He looked at her like she was better than she really was. Even in her worst times, he saw the best in her.

Lily didn't know why she did it, in fact, she couldn't remember much, only that she lifted onto her toes slowly and slowly raised her hands. Her elbows rested on his shoulder as her fingers locked behind his head and she drew James in for a hug, resting her cheek against his chest. Startled, James didn't move at first, but then he reached his arms around her waist and pulled her in tighter to his person.

"She was only twelve years old." Lily whispered into his chest miserably, "and they treated her like she was some sort of _freak_."

"I know," he was moving his hand on her back in soothing patterns, "It must've been so hard for her."

For her.

Of course, James didn't understand. He was assuming she was sad because Olivia, one of her fellow Slytherins, had been attacked for being muggleborn. While Lily was upset over Olivia, she was more upset that people felt the need to treat muggleborns so cruelly. It felt like a personal attack and Lily couldn't even treat it as such because no one knew she'd lied.

James' hand stopped patted her and he pulled back slightly, pushing her so she was forced to look at him, "is she okay?"

"She went home." Lily's voice cracked, "she didn't want to stay here anymore."

"She was getting bullied a lot." James said, the expression he had could only be described as pensive, "it's shite that these purebloods are trying to scare off muggleborns. They have every right to be here as purebloods."

In that moment, in the darkness of their private hall, as Lily stared up at his defiant expression, she reveled that she'd never met a pureblood like him. Her firsts curled tighter around his neck and she drew him in for another hug. This time, James was ready, and he pulled her up into his arms, resting his cheek against hers. A surge of affection for James rushed through her and she held on tighter, realizing that she liked him a lot more than she should. She liked him enough that when she pulled away from his hug, she wanted to press her lips against his cheek.

She kept herself positioned so that she'd be able to stare at him as they finished rounds. She let her brain go over everything about him. Everything from the way he kept the chatter up that night, not expecting her to say another word. He had her smiling as he explained his mum's terrible cooking. He made them stop by the kitchen to grab some food when Lily mentioned she hadn't eaten anything.

She hadn't wanted to go anywhere or do anything, let alone do rounds all night. James told her it was stupid to starve herself and made her eat three mince pies as he watched. Slowly, James made her come back out of the dark shadows of her mind.

"You're really good at cheering people up." She commented softly as they patrolled.

James ruffled his hair and looked away, clearly pleased by her compliment. She playfully tossed the last of her pie at him and it bounced off his cheek before landing on the stone floors of the castle. James protested and pounced on her, wrapping his one of his long arms around her waist and using his spare hand to ruffle her hair madly. She laughed out loud, a sound she hadn't heard in days.

Lily was mystified that she'd been so blue, so overcome by her emotions and then James…armed only with his smile and hugs…had left her blushing and covered in his golden glow by the morning.


	8. Dancing With Our Hands Tied (Part 2)

_Chapter 8:_

_I, I loved you in secret_

_First sight, yeah, I love you without reason_

October was always busy between quidditch and school. James found himself racing between all his tasks, barely getting to spend any time with his friends. Whenever he got the chance, he loved just joining Peter for a game of chess or going on walks with Remus. Sirius had taken to gobblestone betting again, making it his top priority to win all the gold he could from betting with others on the gobblestones champions.

James spent his Monday afternoon with Sirius in the library as Sarah Duff from Hufflepuff took on Eric Davis from Ravenclaw. Gobblestones was pretty competitive, with most bets being placed on reigning champion Sarah. Sirius had put in ten galleons for Sarah to win and was calculating the whole game as it progressed behind the restricted section. James sat next to Sirius, his mind partly in the game and partly on the fact that the full moon was that night and he should probably be sleeping. Instead, he'd been a good friend and gone to the competition with Sirius. The other students around them were cheering Sarah on as she tried to take down Eric. The librarian Madame Pince had no choice but to let them be loud, as gobblestones was a school sanctioned event. James had a feeling she was sitting at her desk with her hands over her ears.

Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, he saw a flash of red and someone he really hadn't expected to see, fell into the seat beside him. Sirius only noticed Lily because she waved politely at him before turning all her attention to James.

"I didn't know you liked gobblestones."

"I don't." James laughed, jutting his thumb at Sirius, "He's a gambler."

Lily smiled as Sirius scowled, "And who are you betting on, Black?"

"Sarah." Sirius said between thinned lips, "She's got a winning streak."

"Yeah," Lily said, "I'd put my money on her too."

James turned his body more towards Lily, "what are you doing in the library?"

"I was returning some books." She said, "And had to come see what all the noise was about."

James smiled, "do you like gobblestones?"

"I don't understand it to be honest." She laughed, pulled her hair over one shoulder, "But I spotted you and decided to give it a go."

James beamed happily but next to him, Sirius groaned.

"Don't you have some other purebloods to go flirt with Evans?" Sirius asked moodily.

Lily shot Sirius a moody look, "on the contrary, I was here on your advice, Black."

"My advice?" Sirius tore his eyes away from the game and stared at Lily in surprise, "I don't remember giving you advice."

"You said to open my eyes to the world." Lily shot back at Sirius wittily, "so here I am, my eyes are open."

"Well considering you were laughing at breakfast this morning with your Slytherin friends," Sirius said lazily as he resumed watching the game, "I don't think you've opened them wide enough."

"I was not laughing with them." Lily's face turned red, "I was telling them off for laughing about Olivia Swift."

"Right." Sirius seemed unconvinced.

"What's your problem?" Lily snapped at Sirius, earning looks from some of the students around them, "I'm trying to be friendly."

"I don't want to be friends with anyone who hangs around Severus Snape." Sirius said flatly, "Neither does James."

Lily's jaw dropped and James pushed Sirius as Lily stood up and walked away. James cursed Sirius before standing up and following Lily out into the main row of the library. She had her head hung low and her arms wrapped around her waist. James bounded forward and jumped in front of her. She stopped herself before she ran right into him.

"Don't take him too seriously." James pleaded.

Lily stared pointedly at James' shoulder, refusing to look him in the eyes, "your friends really don't like me, huh."

James ruffled his hair. In that moment, with Lily looking so sad, he wished he had the ability to make houses non-existent. He wished Sirius didn't hate anything to do with his family. He wished Lily had never been sorted into Slytherin. He wished nothing but for the chance to have Lily feel welcome. It seemed no matter what she did—her house reputation preceded her.

James stepped forward, "I'll talk to Sirius." He promised her, "he can be stubborn."

"I don't care," she sniffed, "I just wish people didn't listen to rumors and lies people make up to make themselves feel better."

James crossed his arms and leaned against the bookshelf to his left as he considered her, "are you still upset about Olivia?"

Lily's eyes finally met his. James saw she had circled under them and her skin was a sickly pale color he'd never seen from her. She didn't look well at all, and the lack of smile didn't help her sullen features.

"Honestly?" she said, "I'm pretty sad about everything these days."

She turned away from him and started back up the aisle.

"Where are you going?" he called after her.

"Back to Slytherin." She half-laughed sardonically, "where I apparently belong."

She was wrong. She didn't belong in that house, she belonged anywhere but in Slytherin house.

"You're wrong." He called after her, "You don't know where the sorting hat would've put you."

Lily shot a glance back at James, her smile sad, "Sometimes, I wish it had put me with you."

James stood alone in the aisle, static, as she walked away. He was hopelessly lost for words, not knowing if he should call after her to stop so he could tell her that he wished that she had been placed in Gryffindor too…or if he should call her back to tell her that he wanted her to stay with him and enjoy the gobblestone game.

It was too late to do either, she'd already made it past his line of sight. James felt disenchantment take over him as her presence left him entirely.

The sorting hat had sorted her too soon.

James would bet all the money he had that if the sorting hat was placed on Lily's head now, she'd be Gryffindor all the way. The sorting hat would've laughed at her, had she requested anything but gold and red. There was no way she belonged in the house notorious for dark magic and bad attitudes. James didn't give a damn about her bad reputation, she was so much more than people gave her credit for.

When James fell back into the seat beside Sirius, he found that the gobblestones game hadn't progressed much. Sirius only glanced at James because their shoulders brushed, alerting Sirius that James had reappeared.

"Did you apologize for me?" Sirius asked neatly, knowing exactly why James went after Lily.

"Yeah, I did, because you were a dick." James retorted, "Remember that time I asked you to be nice to her?"

"Remember that time I said I would _try_?"

"You aren't trying very hard." James said miserably, thinking of how upset she'd seemed that Sirius didn't want her around.

"Forgive me for being skeptical of a woman who defends Severus Snape."

James crossed his arms, "I think she's coming around to the idea that Snape's been hiding things from her."

"Why do you think that?" Sirius questioned dismally, "Because she cried on your shoulder the other night instead of his?"

James' glance at Sirius was heated, "I think you two would really get along."

Sirius pressed his fingers to his temples, "James," he sighed, "you can't honestly tell me you're okay with Evans hanging around Snape all the time and _still_ want to be her friend."

"Snape is a minor obstacle," James conceded, "But one day, Padfoot, he's going to slip around her, and she's going to wake up and see him for the git that he really is."

"Or," Sirius reasoned, "She'll wake up and think ' _oh gee, I think Snivellus is right. Purebloods are the superior beings'_ and the next thing you know, she'll be prancing around as a Death Eater."

Two third years ahead of them turned to glare at Sirius and James, disrupted by their talking. Sirius shot them both the bird and they turned back bitterly.

"She would never." James hissed in a lower voice, "you didn't see Lily after that muggleborn got sent home, she felt dreadful."

"She was probably acting." Sirius said, "just like her best mate acted like he was innocent after trying to get Remus expelled."

"Come on Sirius," James complained, "you're being stupid, she's so much like your cousin, Andromeda!"

"Andy would've never hung out with someone like Snape." Snape preserved Andy's memory fiercly, he looked up to her so much.

"When Andy went to school the war was only just starting." James corrected Sirius, "Slytherin had its gits back then too, and she was friends with _all_ of them."

"Andy was only friends with them because she had to keep her father from finding out about Ted!" Sirius said irritably, "Andy and Evans have nothing in common, short of being sorted into Slytherin."

James grumbled and placed his head in his hands, "Sirius, _please_." He rasped, "She _needs_ new friends. She needs to know that there's people out there who have been where she is, and they've all chosen the right path. She needs to know everything will be okay if she just takes a chance."

"Takes a chance on what?" Sirius looked confused, "You? Because I remember a time where you two could hardly be in the same space without battling like banshees."

"Things change." James said, thinking of their middle of the night chats, her smiles in the flickering torchlight, and the way she looked at him when no one else was around, "We've changed."

"Fuck me," Sirius stared at James with skepticism, "You really like her, don't you?"

"Yes." Saying it out loud felt even better than admitting it in his head, "I like her a Hell of a lot more than I anticipated."

Sirius exhaled and crossed his arms, settling into his chair, "I'll be nicer _but_ ," he added when James beamed, "if I find out she'd just playing you, in any way, you have to promise me you will end the friendship. Immediately."

"Okay," James said, "Deal."

Sirius shook his head as he turned back to the game, "I knew you had poor taste in women ever since you wanted to shag that annoying girl with the braids who lived in the village, but a Slytherin? It's unethical."

James disregarded Sirius, just happy they had settled with the agreement that Sirius was to try and make friends. The gobblestone game ended with Sarah from Hufflepuff as the winner and then both boys went to go pick up Peter from the Hospital Wing where he'd been keeping Remus company.

It was almost time for the sun to descend and the moon to rise.

James' favorite nights were the ones where he got to be Prongs and run around the grounds with a juvenile werewolf. At fifteen, James had mastered the art of transfiguring from human into animal. A deer's innate senses merged with his own, creating a one-of-a-kind animal that thought with a human mind but gave into animal senses. Since Remus was too dangerous to be around when he was a werewolf Peter, James, and Sirius had all become illegal Animagus to spend time with him.

Peter was a rat, fat and furry with a long worm-like tail. He was small enough to get around even the tightest spaces and helped the boys stay out of trouble. Sirius turned into a giant black dog, which allowed him to keep the werewolf in check. James was the largest of all of them, turning into a stag.

Later that night, James was standing proudly on an embankment in his Animagus form. His tines rose towards the full moon, scents of freshly fallen snow and evergreen enveloping his senses. As Prongs, every human worry melted away and instead he focused on his companions. The werewolf rolling with the large black dog in the snow howled loudly, the sound shaking the bones of all creatures except his three companions. That rather large rat slinking up the hill, passed through the stag shadow in the snow as it squeaked. Little tendrils of smoky air rose from Prongs' nostrils as a fluffy white snow began falling, preparing to cover Hogwarts in even more snow.

Of course, running around as animal all night meant that the boys missed out on sleeping.

The next morning, James yawned for the sixth time and stretched his arms out wide, almost smacking Peter in the head. Peter hardly noticed, he was nibbling on some crackers, trying to eat. Sometimes staying in their animal forms for too long affected their insides, as well as their outsides. Peter often complained of an upset stomach after full moons and Sirius had to brush his teeth at least three times to get the dog stench from his gums. James found that his eyes hurt after he transformed; he rubbed them carelessly as he walked into Defense Against the Dark Arts.

None of the boys complained about their morning though, knowing that for Remus, it was always worse. James remembered the first time he'd seen Remus after a full moon, transforming into a werewolf was especially uncomfortable for a growing teenager and poor Remus grew taller every year, surpassing James by an inch in seventh year. Unlike James though, Remus was thin and scraggly, James at least had a bit of meat on his bones. Remus had nothing to protect him when he turned into his wolf form. Even as a werewolf, Remus looked sick.

The Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom was full when James entered behind Peter. Students were sitting on the bare wooden floor, gossiping with each other. Out of habit, James' eyes searched the sea of green for Lily's attentive eyes. She was sitting at the edge of her house's inner circle with Severus Snape and a Ravenclaw named Sophie Turner. Her hair was down, framing her face perfectly and James loved when she fluffed the fringe that hung into her eyes because she'd scrunch up her nose whilst doing it.

James looked away quickly when Severus Snape caught him staring. James pretended to be really interested in something Sirius had said, when in all actuality Sirius was just offering James to sit down on the floor first. James sat cross legged on the ground, adjusting the strap of his bookbag on his shoulder as he did so. Peter and Sirius fell to either side of James, both of them looking close to death, thanks to the circles under their eyes.

"Let's hope Professor Rogers lectures the whole time." Peter said, wistfully, as he leaned back onto his palms.

"What are the chances of her canceling?" Sirius muttered, eyes closed as if he were meditating.

"Not good." James muttered back as Professor Rogers strode into the room with a wide smile on her face.

"Good morning class!" Professor Rogers said, setting her coffee cup on her desk.

"Morning Professor Rogers." Everyone but James, Sirius and Peter sang back.

Thankfully, Professor Rogers swept right into a lecture on wand holding and the boys were able to relax and just listen to Rogers' voice hum through the sound of quills scratching. James thought they were in the clear for an easy class, no participation necessary when Professor Rogers ruined it.

"Alright," she said, "So, I want two of you to try out these new tactics we've gone over."

As if on cue, James and his mates sunk down, trying to hide. None of them were up for anything but a nap in a warm bed. Rogers' eyes skimmed over the students and James almost groaned out loud when her eyes lingered on him two seconds longer than anyone else. He prayed she wouldn't pick him.

"I think our Head Boy and Girl should duel for us this class." Professor Rogers said, smiling down at James and then fluttering eyes to Lily in the back, "Everyone else clear out of the way."

Sirius and Peter looked pityingly at James as the class got on their feet. Everyone but James and Lily dispersed to the sides of the classroom. Some people were taking bets, most of them counting on James to beat Lily, since she'd failed so miserably at the start of term. James met Lily's eyes once the floor had been cleared and she was smiling at him with one of her special smiles that she shared with him while they were on rounds.

She was smiling at him publicly, like they were _friends_.

He wished he could save her smile for a rainy day. He loved the way her cheeks lifted, and her eyes crinkled so friskily in his direction.

He didn't know if it was because he was running on no sleep, but he'd thought she sent a wink his way.

_Fuck_.

He was in no way shape or form to _talk_ to Lily let alone duel her.

"Alright, you two are going to just block each other's advances." Professor Rogers clapped James' back as she walked past him to stand behind Lily, "Do not try to disarm each other right away, instead, keep each other at bay. Get creative."

James didn't nod, because his left hand was in his hair, fisting at the roots as Lily sauntered closer with a slow gait. His right hand had managed to at least pick his wand from his pocket, but the wand was currently pointed at the floor. Lily's green eyes, so telling, were challenging James with a fire that often drove him up the wall when they were bickering. She wasn't going to let the class laugh at her again, she was determined to beat him, James could tell in the way that her steady gaze seemed to cut through him.

"Alright, Evans, you can try and hit James first." Roger's voice cut through his subconscious and James hastily pointed his wand at Lily, "You both will use the spells taught in previous classes but more specifically, _comacaerula_. Whoever's hair turns blue first, loses."

Lily grinned even wider, positively glowing as she made a pointed glance at James' jet-black hair. No doubt, some smart remark was floating through her head about his hair. She loved to tease him relentlessly about his hair, after all. He almost wished he could tell Lily that her white smile was distracting him when Roger's started counting down.

"Three!"

Lily took another step towards him and James took a step back, following her movements in the opposite direction. Her hair fell over her face as she looked down to make sure her feet her in a good stance. James realized he was still standing like an idiot, so he tried adjusting his feet too. He took a heaving breath in, trying to focus on something other than how tired he was, or how cute Lily looked with her nose scrunched up.

"Two!"

Lily's seemed okay today, no sign of tears on her cheeks or puffy eyes from crying. He didn't know how he'd ever get over the way she'd hugged him on Sunday. She'd been so overcome with grief when one of the muggleborn students got sent home and she'd used James as a shoulder to cry on. James had hated seeing her so down but right now, she looked more like herself. He adored Lily when she was like this, so defiant and ready to take on the world.

His smile broke across his features and for a moment, Lily's confidence seemed to waver.

" _Three_!"

As quickly as she'd wavered, Lily recovered and whipped her wand high, " _comacaerula_!"

James woke up from his trance just in time to block her aimed spell and he danced forward, forcing her to take a small step back, " _comacaerula!"_

Lily jumped, skipped, and James' spell hit the wall behind her. Lily aimed her wand at his feet. James saw her lips star moving and he knew she was going to try and freeze him in place, so he looked around frantically. There was a book laying on the floor by Petra Mann's feet. James flicked this wand and the book went flying. Lily saw it coming in her peripheral vision and shot up a shield so that the book bounced off invisible air instead of smacking her. When she turned back to James, the fury in her eyes was nothing short of eager. James bent at the knees a bit, his wand aimed at her heart.

Neither of them shot a spell. Instead, like magnets of the same pole, they moved near each other only to jump back when the other person even remotely moved their wand arm. James was trying to calculate her precise movements, studying the way she moved her weight between each foot. Her wrist flicked up, but James blocked the spell, his eyes never leaving her cunning expression. Her jaw was pressed, and her eyes were narrowed in concentration as sunlight from the window highlighted her face.

The sun highlighted the gold in her hair and the green in her eyes, making her look even more gorgeous than before. The sun was like a spotlight, forcing James to stare at her in awe.

"Stop looking at me like that!" Lily snapped agitatedly after James' eyes slowly traced the curve to her jaw.

"But you're so pretty." James shot back playfully.

A few students around them laughed as James' sheepish grin fueled Lily's next attempt to turn his hair blue. James blocked her obvious attack with another shield charm and a wink that did its own damage, painting her pale face shades of red. James was aware of some of the students whispering to each other as Lily and James both danced, right out of each other's reach. Lily attempted to hit him again but he blocked it easily.

"Nice one, James!" Peter and Sirius cheered along with some of the other Gryffindors.

"Keep it up you two!" Rogers said over the cheers, "Miss Evans loosen your shoulders! Mr. Potter stop ruffling your hair!"

James withdrew his left hand from his hair, scowling when he heard a slight giggle escape from Lily's mouth. Clearly, she thought it was funny Rogers' only task for him was to stop messing with his hair. Despite being exhausted, James felt wide awake as he danced in the middle of the classroom with Lily. Lily tried to use a jelly legs jinx to divert James' ability to follow her every movement, but James blocked it and stepped even closer to her.

"Alright Evans?" he asked smoothly, loving the slight flash of mischief in her eyes.

Their wands almost touching as they began circling again, sizing each other up. Dueling Lily was like bantering her, invigorating. Every move she made was calculated because she was trying to outthink him. James just followed her lead, pushing back at her attempts to thwart him.

James flicked his wrist suddenly, trying to catch her off guard, " _Rictusempra_!"

They were too close to one another and when Lily immediately put up a shield spell, James' jinx almost hit him as it rebounded. Lily's next attempt was a leg-locker curse, but the curse faltered from her lips when James purposely strode into her personal space. James felt her body freeze as James edged up into her side, pressing his wand into her wild red hair with a devilish smile. One word from him, and she'd have bright blue hair.

"Looks like you're out of ideas." He observed shrewdly.

Lily turned her cheek so that they were almost nose to nose. Her eyes searched his, looking for an answer to a question written plain as day on her face. They were both breathing softly, taking in each other's hell-raising expressions. James was dutifully aware of her spare hand coming to rest on his arm as they both felt the tingling energy that rippled around them. He couldn't believe he used to think Lily Evans wasn't worth his time. He couldn't believe he'd let himself go without her for six years at the basis of some stupid house rivalry.

She was electric, setting off sparks of fire all over his skin.

One second, James was staring elatedly at her, and the next, he watched Lily's expression shift. Her mouth snapped shut and she relaxed, her wand arm lowering. She was staring at him like she was going to press his back against the nearest wall and snog him senseless. James wouldn't mind that at all, not with the way her eyes greedily traced over the planes of his face. His own wand lowered slightly, and the movement caught Lily's eye, so she repositioned her wand at his heart.

"I think you'll look great with blue hair," James taunted, hating when his voice cracked.

A dangerous look crossed her face, "Funny, I was thinking the same thing about _you_."

They stood there, each waiting for the other to deliver the final curse. They were too close; the spells would collide if they tried to do it at the same time. All he wanted to do was crash with her against the back wall, his hands holding her face haphazardly as he kissed her deeply. He wanted her arms to wrap around his neck like they'd done before, when they were alone in the hallway during patrol. The mere thought of her kissing him in dark hallways sent a shiver down his body as Lily's green eyes fluttered down, to focus on the way he licked his lips tensely.

A voice cut through the silence, "Just curse him already, Lily!"

"Mr. Snape, sit down!" Rogers called to Snape, "Potter, Evans, one of you _has_ to fire a spell. This is a battle of magic, not wit!"

A mischievous glimmer flashed across Lily's face as she considered James. He hadn't expected her to suddenly inch herself so close that she couldn't even point her wand at him anymore. Instead, her wand arm dropped to her side so she could rest her wand and hand on her hip. Her hair was like auburn waves, shielding her face from the students against the back wall. Her hair created a shroud so no one else saw the sensual smile she sent him.

"I dare you to try..." she whispered, her chin pointed defiantly at him.

She was going to be the death of him. All he could think about was her smile, her eyes, her hair, her _lips_ …he didn't want to duel her…all he wanted to do was kiss her. James closed his eyes for a second to regroup but that's all Lily needed to undermine him. With one swift movement, Lily hooked her foot around his ankle and jerked back. James was knocked off balance and with one more push of her hands against his chest, James fell back onto the hardwood floor. And it should've been illegal, the way she looked at him down the line of her wand.

She'd played him like a violin and made it look way too easy.

Her green eyes glinted dangerously, assertively, red lips pouted. James stared up at Lily from the floor, dumbstruck by how she'd tripped him. Her hair had fallen around her face but the red only brought out the rosiness of her cheeks. James scrambled to pull his wand up for protection, but it was too late, Lily towered over him with advantage. People were cheering for her and James couldn't help but cheer for her too, she'd used James' distraction to her benefit.

_"Comacaerula!"_

James was aware his hair was now electric blue, some of it was falling into his eyes, but all he cared about was the excited glimmer in Lily's eyes. James admired her glorious smile, as she lowered her wand arm and sent him a mollified stare. With the auburn hair around her face and a slight flush to her cheeks, she was dazzling. He'd tried so hard not to catch feelings for her but…Merlin it was helpless…she had him wrapped around her finger with just one look.

He'd never been more attracted to Lily in his entire life, and there was currently nothing he could do about it. Professor Rogers was patting Lily on the back, congratulating her on a job well done. The bell rang and James didn't even move as he stared up at Evans, basking in the praise of her house and a few others. She was still flushed a dark red color and when her eyes met James' for the briefest of moments, he thought she looked more beautiful than anything he'd ever seen.

Sirius and Peter came over to James, still on the floor. Sirius knelt down to James' level, shooting a glance at Evans once.

"That was embarrassing." Sirius deadpanned as he waved his own wand and returned James' hair to black, "You should've flattened her, what happened?"

Peter held out James' book bag to him as James slowly rose to his feet. Sirius was eyeing James warily. Probably because James's face was contorted into an uncomfortable grimace.

James took his bag from Peter thankfully, "I'm going to take a really long, cold, shower."

Peter and Sirius shared a look before they both burst into laughter. Sirius' mocking laugh was the most annoying and it followed James all the way to Gryffindor tower. He didn't care that he left class early, right now, it was dangerous to be in the same room with a woman who could punch him in the face and he'd probably thank her. Or in this case, turn his hair blue _and_ turn him on.

After James had sufficiently cooled down and was able to count to one hundred without thinking of his duel with Lily, he made his way back to classes. Of course, he was subject to Sirius and Peter's teasing the rest of the day. Transfiguration was the worst, mostly because Lily only sat three tables away in that class. James had to pointedly try and ignore her so as to not fall for her Cheshire cat smile. It didn't help that Sirius kept snickering anytime Lily's name was called for an answer. Or that Peter called across the classroom to ask her for a quill just so that Lily would have to walk over to their table while everyone was writing essays.

Her green eyes flashed at James and he felt the same lurch in his gut that made it harder to breathe.

When the bell rang, James put his things away slowly. Sirius and Peter were standing at the top of the row, waiting for him. James always had the most on his desk because he liked to doodle in class.

James assumed he was alone, last one in the row, until a body appeared on his left. James slowly looked up to find Greta Catchlove smiling at him with her dimples. James' lips thinned as Catchlove, the most annoying Gryffindor in the world, placed her hands on his desk eagerly.

Catchlove fluttered her eyelashes at him, "I think it was totally unfair of Evans to trip you today."

James hoped he imagined hearing Peter and Sirius' titters. James swung his bag up on his shoulder and gave Catchlove a weak smile. She had her hair in braids again, and her brown eyes fluttered so excitedly when their eyes met.

"She was just messing around."

"She basically cheated." Catchlove pouted, "everyone saw her trip you."

"She's not the cheating type." James assured Catchlove, backing away from her a bit, "But thanks for the concern?"

Catchlove stopped him from leaving with a hand on his chest, her smile wide and overzealous.

"You're an _amazing_ dueler, James." She cooed.

"You know, I'm not that great."

James sat on one of the desks and slipped over it so that he made it around Catchlove. Unfortunately, Catchlove just turned around.

"Don't be modest."

"Peter is better, you ought to ask him for tips." James was walking backwards but Catchlove was matching him step for step.

"He's _definitely_ being modest!" Peter shouted casually from the door.

James threw his hand behind his back, sending Peter a rude gesture as he kept a smile plastered on his face for Catchlove. James finished sending Peter his notice and his hand shot to his hair as he backed away from Catchlove, almost tripping over a chair.

"You know Catchlove, we'll have to talk later." James muttered as Catchlove followed him with her wide dimples, "I've got to be someplace."

"Where?"

"He's got a meeting with me." A hard voice interrupted behind James.

James turned to find Lily, appearing with Snape at her side, green eyes staring down Catchlove dangerously. One glare from Lily and Catchlove turned sour. Tension floated in the air around them like venom clung to a snakebite. Catchlove immediately turned on Lily, jealousy present in her stance. Lily didn't back down, despite Snape sending her a frustrated glance. James turned his face back to Catchlove and grinned senselessly.

"Yeah, sorry." He said, "Evans and I have Head junk to take care of."

"Right." Catchlove said but she was still glaring antagonistically at Evans, "Sorry you have to spend so much time with someone like her."

James couldn't even defend Lily because Catchlove had pushed past him and was headed right for Lily. Catchlove brushed shoulders with Lily as she made for the door. James watched a bit of fire flash through Lily's face in response to Catchlove's slight push. Lily turned to call after Catchlove's retreating back, voice hostile.

"I didn't hear Potter complaining much about my company last night!"

Sirius, James, and Peter all dropped their jaws at Lily's bold statement. Snape looked sick to his stomach, even groaned, as Catchlove caught her hand on the door. Catchlove's knuckles were white. Catchlove turned back to stick her chin in Lily's direction before leaving the classroom. James could hear nothing but the sound of his heart beating in his chest as Lily's words settled around them.

Finally, forgotten at her desk, Professor McGonagall said, "Don't you seventh years have another place to be?"

Lily turned quickly and made her way for the hallway, followed by the Gryffindor boys and Snape. Once outside, she paused in the middle of the hallway and Snape shook his head as he walked up to her.

"That was stupid." Snape told her, "Catchlove will start rumors that you're snogging Potter on rounds."

"That'd be James' wet-dream come true." Sirius said and Peter snickered.

"As if I'd snog _her_." James said rather convincingly, trying to pretend it was a laugh, despite his recent feelings surrounding Lily's lips all over him, "We're just friends."

Lily regarded James, seeming rather taken aback by his rounded statement, she said in a cool voice, "I could never snog someone as conceited and utterly tactless as the likes of Potter."

Snape looked beyond pleased by the direction the topic had turned and James' face reddened deeply under Lily's sharp stare.

"Ouch," Sirius, who was clearly having the best day of his life, barked a laugh and clapped James on the back, "Tough luck Prongs."

Lily, who was clearly still taken aback by Sirius playing nice, shot him a weird look.

The bell rang again over their heads. Sirius and Peter cursed, as they realized they were late for Care of Magical Creatures. The two boys bounded down the hallway without another word. Despite having the same class as Sirius and Peter, Snape hung back, his black eyes flickering between Lily and James. Lily was glaring at James with a frigid façade.

"Want me to walk back with you to the common room?" Snape asked Lily, black eyes hooked on her poisonous stare in James' direction.

"No," Lily waved him away, "I'll be fine."

Snape backed away slowly, "I don't mind being late."

"I have to go do those detention slips." Lily finally broke eye contact with James to smile at her friend, "I'll meet you later, okay?"

Snape nodded, looking eager, "Slughorns Office?"

"Yes." Lily smiled, "Slughorns office."

When she turned back to James, her facial expression had returned akin to stone. A few straggling students moved around the couple as they tried to make it to McGonagall's class before the final bell. They stood there, silent and brooding, sizing each other up. The pressure between them was unlike anything James had ever felt with anyone. It made his stomach flip.

"So first I'm pretty," she clarified slyly, "And now I'm unkissable?"

James winced, "Lily, I was joking."

Her eyes narrowed, "About which part?"

James was stupid, so unbelievingly stupid. He'd lost his chance with her before he'd even started to try and make a movie because of his stupid mouth.

"Which one upset you the most?"

Lily snorted and crossed her arms, turning away for a second, only to turn back to James with another retort, "What happened in class?"

"What do you mean?" but James knew exactly what she meant.

"You just, gave up." Lily took a step closer, "Professor Rogers noticed it too but you left, so she couldn't ask you what happened."

"No, I didn't."

"Yes, you did." Lily debated, "I saw it in your eyes, you let your guard down, you _let_ me win."

"I did not." He lied.

"Had I been Severus, or your mates, or anyone else. You would've won easily."

James was lost for words. He couldn't exactly tell Lily the reason that he let his guard down was because of _her_. He couldn't tell Lily that he had feelings for her that extended beyond their _friendly rivalry_. He tried his best not to catch feelings but around her, he was so helpless. All he could think about was her face when he told her, if he ever got the guts to tell her how much he fancied her. It was too soon to tell her that he fancied her, even if he wanted to drop everything and kiss her now.

She'd probably laugh at him.

She was inside of his head, messing with him, and she didn't even know.

"I got distracted." He waved his hand trying to act nonchalant, "sorry."

"Whatever."

She knew he wasn't telling the whole truth.

She turned on her heel and walked away from him, likely headed for the Heads office on the fifth floor where she was going to sort through detention notes. James watched her get about fifteen paces away and then he followed, hands tucked into his pockets. The last thing he needed was to be alone with Lily Evans behind a door, in a tiny room. Still, he followed like the good Head Boy he was determined to be.

Clearly James hadn't thought about the repercussions of telling everyone he'd never kiss her, in front of her. Snape had looked trilled and Lily had looked no less than frustrated. James supposed telling a girl that she wasn't attractive enough to kiss, could be seen as rude and he knew why Lily found his statement inconsiderate.

"Hold up, Lily." James beseeched as he followed her through the archways that led to the main hall.

Lily hesitated ahead and rotated ever so slightly, "you don't have to come with me." she said acidly, "I can do the detention slips by myself."

James shook his head, "No, I know I was a prick, and I'm sorry."

James walked up to her and she lifted her eyes so she could examine his face. James smiled gently, trying to ease the tension between them.

"If it's any consolation," he said, "I—I would never say no, to a kiss from someone like you."

Lily's face turned bright red and she looked away from him, "That's not why I—"

"And I promise I wasn't trying to let you win in class." He muttered, "I wanted to beat you."

She peered up at him through her lashes, "You did?"

"I swear it." James chortled, "You think I wanted to walk around all day with Peter and Sirius making fun of me any chance they could get?"

Lily finally cracked a smile, "You should've heard Sirius in potions. He _actually_ high fived me."

"Well I'm glad he's finally playing nice." James muttered moodily, "Even if it took you kicking my arse for it to happen."

"Where _did_ you go? After class?"

James felt red creep up his neck, "Oh," he lifted a nervous hand to his hair, "Remus is sick, so I went to check on him."

Not totally a lie, Remus had been in bed when James returned to Gryffindor tower, but James didn't spend any time with the sleeping werewolf. Lily seemed to find his apology fascinating. Her eyebrow curved and she turned away from James to continue walking up the hallways. James could see the wheels in her head turning. She looked uncomfortable, as if something about Remus had set off a lightbulb in her brain.

He jumped ahead a few steps to keep up with his Head Girl, "What's up?"

"Nothing." Lily said indifferently, pretending to be interested in the polish peeling off her nails.

"It's not nothing." James probed, "what are you thinking? You got quiet after I mentioned Remus…"

The staircase under them began moving and they held onto the bannisters as the staircase rerouted their path to the fifth floor. Lily stared at her shoes disobediently before studying James again. Her green eyes traced his face, her lips drawn in a thin line. James tried to focus on something other than her lips.

"We're friends, _right_?"

It was the first time she'd considered it, out loud. It was like the day before when James had spoken his attraction for her out loud. It made it real. Lily seemed unsure, as if he would say anything other than yes.

"Of course, we're friends." James said, trying not to sound too enthusiastic, "Why?"

"Well, you know how people talk?"

James wondered if, for a moment, Sirius or Peter had given Lily the real inclination of why he'd gone to Gryffindor tower during Potions. James would die of embarrassment. Even Lily looked edgy, bouncing back and forth on her toes as she tossed words around in her head.

Lily took another breath in, "People talk about Lupin."

Warning sirens went off in James' head and his hand dropped from his head to his side instantly. She'd pulled that out of nowhere, well, not nowhere. James had said Remus was sick, but most people took the excuse and walked away. Lily looked at him like she might know more, like she _did_ know more. There wasn't any sound, Lily was waiting on his next words.

"I don't know what you're talking about," James decided to play dumb.

Lily tilted her head at him, "Lupin? Getting sick? All the time?" she probed, "I mean, I know rumors are normally just that…but you know him better than anyone and when I had questions about Black you helped, so I figured you knew something about Lupin."

James shook his head, coughing, "Why do people care what Remus is doing?"

"We're in all the same classes, everyone notices when he disappears."

Her cunning eyes told another story.

"Did someone tell you something?" James asked swiftly.

If someone was spreading anything about Remus, it needed to be snuffed out, and quickly. James and the rest of his mates didn't take any chances when it came to Remus' secret. Not everyone understood werewolves and James knew Remus could get kicked out of school if the wrong person found out.

"No ones said anything to me this year." Lily stared descending the staircase as it came to a halt, "not exactly _outright_ at least."

"Then what?" James pestered as they both walked down a dark hall that head to the Head Office.

Lily tucked her hair behind her ear, "Don't you find it strange, how he always asks for no rounds, _every_ full moon?"

"Never noticed." James lied, "Besides, I do too."

"Yeah," she looked at him through her lashes again, "I noticed that too."

James decided to take the topic in an entirely different direction, "Remus and Sirius said you talked to them after the Olivia problem."

Lily eyed him perceptively, "Are you changing the subject?"

James had to hand it to her, she was astute, "No."

Lily smiled through her irritation, "You're a wonder, James Potter."

"I know." James smirked, "So, you had a question to ask me?"

"I do," She said, "But I already sort of know the answer."

"If it's why Sirius is a prat," James joked, "I'm still trying to figure that one out for myself."

Lily giggled as she pushed open the door to the Head Office, where prefects and teachers had dropped off new tardy and detention slips. James spotted the new set on the counters as they entered the darker room together.

Detention was typically held once a month, unless a Professor assigned a student to a particular task. Lily and James were to hold October's detention together next week and so far, they had at least fifteen students signed up. By the looks of it, McGonagall had given out a few more detentions over the weekend.

The Head office was small, with one desk and two chairs. A large calander sat behind the desk, with school activities and prefect's meetings written in James' red curvy handwriting. Lily took her seat in one of the chairs and shot James a look as he sat down in the chair next to her. She was still smiling at him, as if she was amused by him in some way.

"So, what did you want to know?" he asked, "What could Sirius possibly want you to ask me?"

Lily leaned her cheek against the back of the chair so she could look him in the eyes, "Why do you assume it's bad?"

"It's _Sirius_."

"Yeah," she stopped smiling, "he's not a fan of me."

"Sorry," he said, "Sirius can act a little too much like man's best friend sometimes."

Lily wrinkled her nose cutely, "he thought it was quite awful that I was friends with Sev, too."

"Snape is the worst." James agreed solemnly, and Lily reached out to pinch his arm.

When James smacked at her hand.

Lily grinned before turning serious again, "Severus said that in second year, you two got into a pretty bad fight?"

"Second year?" James flew back to twelve years old, laying in the hospital wing feeling like death, "Yeah, that was a bad one."

Lily leaned closer to James over the arm of her chair, "What happened?"

James arched his brow at her, "Snape didn't tell you?"

Lily nodded, "Yes, he said you started it, but I wanted to ask you too."

"Why me?" James adjusted his glasses on his nose.

"Because you're always honest with me." Lily's face relaxed, "you tend to keep everything pretty neutral. Sev might mean well, but he tries to protect me."

"What's he trying to protect you from, me?" James rolled his eyes and he realized, "He's trying to protect you from me?"

Lily glanced down at her lap, "He thinks that you're a bad influence."

" _Me_?" James asked shocked, "When he runs around playing Death Eater?"

Lily glared at James, "He's scared you'll turn me against him."

James crossed his arms and scoffed, "The jokes on him, he'll do that all on his own."

" _James_."

"Sorry," James shook his head, "But he's not protecting you, Lil, he's controlling the narrative."

"Did you just call me _Lil_?"

"We're friends now, we can do nicknames."

Lily pushed her fingers through her hair again as she stared him down, half her mouth curved up in an amused smile, "I can't tell you why Sev does what he does, it's not always right, but I promise he's not as bad as you think."

"Lily," James said earnestly, "I don't—I know you must care about him. After all, you've known the bloke since you two were kids—but he's trouble, real trouble. I'm sure of it."

"As sure as Sirius when it comes to me?" she challenged him, "I know Sirius has told you to stay away from me, but you don't listen…why?"

"Because I trust you." James said, sincerely.

"And I trust Sev." Lily said, "There's things between us that you don't understand."

"Then help me understand." James pleaded, leaning closer to her in the dark, "All I know is that your mate, Severus, he's a snake."

Lily leaned arm hands on the armrest of her chair, "You keep saying that, but I need proof."

James narrowed his eyes, if she wanted to have proof, James would give it to her. James stood up and Lily watched him with inquisitive eyes. James started unbuttoning his school shirt and Lily sat back in her chair, her eyes wide.

" _What are you doing_?" she asked warily, her voice suddenly high-pitched as James slowly popped each button open and revealed the planes of his chest.

"I'm giving you proof," James said calmly, as he untucked the rest of the white shirt so he could finish unbuttoning it.

When the shirt fell open, James' skin reacted against the cold air by producing goosebumps. He ignored them and pointed to a red gash across his lower stomach that had been there since James was twelve years old. It reached from the left side of his body all the way to the right, across his abdomen. Lily's eyes dropped from the planes of his chest to his abdomen, her eyes tracing the scar curiously.

"He did that to me at twelve years old." James said, tone dark, "I spent Christmas in the Hospital Wing all because of him."

"He said he hit you, _but Merlin_ , did he hit you with a knife?" Lily's eyes left the scar and lifted to James' face with skepticism, "What happened?"

James shrugged as he started buttoning back up his shirt, "I said something to him, he said something to me, as we do…and then he whipped around and tried to use dark magic on me."

"How do you know it was dark magic?"

James shrugged tensely, "the wound wouldn't cauterize."

At twelve years old it had been one of the scariest moments of James' life. He remembered thinking he might die because the bleeding wouldn't stop with just any magic. He remembered seeing bits of his insides, on their way out. The wound spell could've killed him, had it hit him someplace else and Sirius hadn't ran to get help after Snape ditched at the first sign of his spell gone wrong.

"Dumbledore himself had to intervene, he stitched me back up, but I lost enough blood that I had to spend three days in the Hospital Wing." James fell back into the chair beside Lily, "Dumbledore made Snape apologize to me. My parents were calling for him to be removed from the school. Dumbledore doesn't like to expel younger students and claimed that he'd spoken to Snape, told him there wouldn't be any second chances."

"So, he stopped." Lily said, expectation resonating in her action.

"No." James met her stare, "Snape didn't stop, he just got better at pretending he was innocent."

Lily licked her lips and dropped her head to stare at her lap, "but if he didn't stop, then why is he still here if Dumbledore only gave him one more chance?"

"He keeps a dangerously low profile around the teachers," he flicked some lint off his shirt, "And you."

Neither of them made a sound. The silence seemed so suffocating, because he didn't know what she was thinking.

"Are you mad?" he finally asked.

"No," she sounded composed, "I'm worried and there's a lot going on that I don't fully understand."

James reached out to take her hand and that made her eyes shoot back up, the green in them intoxicating. The office only got light from the windows, so half her face was lit in the sunshine while half of her face was composed in the darkness.

"I'm not saying Snape doesn't care about you." James reasoned, "I'm just trying to share with you…my experience with him."

"It's never been pleasant." Lily bit her lip before admitting, "The only thing you and Sev can ever wholly agree on, is how much you hate each other."

James rolled his eyes, "I know you care about him, I'm not stupid, but he really can be a prick."

"So can you." Her hand squeezed his tightly and she smiled, "but I don't hold that against either of you. It's how you both act _behind_ closed doors that matters most."

"No," James said darkly, dropping her grasp, "not when people practice dark magic behind closed doors."

Lily sighed and placed her chin in her hand, "I've _never_ seen him preform dark magic, James." She seemed to be fighting with herself, "he knows that I don't agree with it. He knows I can't stand his mates when they talk about unforgivable curses. I'd stop speaking to him the minute he started acting like Mulciber or Avery."

James scooted his legs closer to hers, knocking their knees together, "Maybe that's why he hides it from you the most, Lily."

Lily leaned against the back of her chair and looked at him, her lip pouted, "but he's done so much for me, he really has, why would he go behind my back like that?"

James shrugged, "war does things to people, Lily, good or bad."

Lily's lips pursed and she sank even lower in her chair, "thanks for answering my question."

"You don't look happy about it." James said.

Lily pulled her hair out of her face again, "I'm not happy about much, recently."

James furrowed his brow, "Is this about that little girl, Olivia?"

Lily grimly slouched in her chair even more, "No." she paused, "Yes. It's about a lot of things."

"What's wrong?" James asked, concerned, "I can try to understand."

Lily stared at her fingers as she said pointedly, "I feel like I'm trapped between two worlds."

James leaned towards her, "actually, I can."

Lily looked up with a half a smile, "Living a double life, Potter?"

"Are you?" he countered back.

Lily kicked out her feet and shook her head, "you wouldn't understand."

"I'd like to."

Lily lifted her eyes to his face, and she blinked, taken aback. James brought her hand into his again. His thumb smoothed over her palm carefully as they stared at each other.

"It helps to talk." James urged her, "trust me."

Lily was quiet and then, "I've found more posters. All anti muggleborn and this time, they were on the pitch after Slytherin Quidditch practice. Hufflepuff's captain found them."

James' frown intensified, "Did you tell the Headmaster?"

"I told Hooch." Lily said, "but these ones were bad, James."

"How bad?"  
"They had magically put the faces and names of all the muggleborns in the school on them." Lily sounded sick, "the papers would switch faces, names, everything."

"Fuck them." James spat, "Do you know who did it?"

"No," Lily crossed her legs crossly, "I don't. They remain pretty anonymous since Dumbledore banned them from doing it."

James squeezed her hand, "don't worry," he eased her worried look, "one day, they'll get hit by karma."

"Yeah."

She seemed uncounseled. She was staring with his hands tucked around hers, but her gaze was more thoughtful than angry. Suddenly she pulled her hands from his and wrapped them under her legs, keeping them out of reach as she sighed deeply.

"What else is wrong?"

Lily tilted her head in his direction, "I've been trying to get into this internship with Slughorn. He mentioned it last year and I thought I'd want to go…but he just gave me the packet and I don't think I can do it."

"What's stopping you?"

Her cheek pressed against the back of the chair as she pouted out her lower lip like a child, "A fuck ton of problems."

James smirked, "A fuck ton of problems sounds fixable to me."

James held out his hand and Lily stared at it. Her hand twitched, as if she were about to retake his hand and hold it. James shook his head at her slowly.

"Give me your wand." He said, "I want to show you something."

Lily passed her wand over uncertainly. James looked at Lily's wand closely before balancing it in his palm in front of them. Lily stared at it, wondering what he could be doing.

"Point me…"

The wand started moving in his hand. Slowly, the tip pointed away from the window and turned upon Lily. James smiled widely when it stopped moving, right under Lily's nose. The wand was pointing at Lily.

"Follow a wand, where ever it points."

"It's pointing at _me_."

"Would you look at that." He whispered, "It is."

Lily arched a brow at him, but a smile at replaced her frown, "are you trying to be clever?"

"I'm always clever." James retorted, "But just do we're clear, I was trying to allude creatively that if you want something, just go for it!"

Lily groaned, sitting up, "How are you so optimistic, _all_ of the time?"

James chuckled, remembering Remus once telling him the exact same thing, "It's my curse."

Lily pulled her hands out from underneath her legs and started sorting through the papers on the desk in front of them. James would take them from her as she finished recording them, filing them away for a rainy day in the cabinet under the desk. They worked in silence until she finished. Then they sat there for a few minutes, just staring at each other.

"What house do you think you'd be in, really?" he asked, wondering what she'd chose now if she could.

Lily's face was passive, thoughtful even, "The hat said I was brave and strong."

"So," James ruffled his hair confidently, "Gryffindor?"

She was leaning closer, the sunshine from the window illuminating her face, "I wish—"

"What?" James encouraged her, nudging her knee with his hand.

Lily swallowed and her eyes dropped to his lips, her breathing shallow. James leaned closer trying not to think too much, trying not to reach out expectantly. Lily's eyes fluttered back up to his and then she pulled away suddenly, blushing furiously. Disappointed, James leaned back in his chair and slouched with his hand on his chin.

Lily chewed on her lip and then whispered, "I just wish there wasn't such hatred between our houses."

"Why?"

"I have a bad feeling that something's going to happen if our houses ever find out we get along so well."

James wound his hands into hers and answered back delicately, "I don't want our houses to define us, or what we are." he said truthfully, "you are the kindest, smartest, and _cheekiest_ witch I've ever met." Lily laughed and gave him a new smile, one that radiated with adoration, "I don't ever want to live in a world where we aren't friends."

Something he said made her back away. Lily's hair fell into her face, so she tucked it back and looked down, her mood dropped.

"The world will only keep dividing us." She leaned on her knees and put her face in her hands, "especially once we leave Hogwarts."

"Evans, this world is a mess." James murmured, placing a hand on the small of her back, "I'm a mess, I mean I couldn't even duel you today because—because—well I mean it's weird I looked at you and I wasn't thinking. You can really throw me for a loop sometimes, Evans."

"You?" Lily licked her lips and glanced at him, her hair falling into her face again, "You're always trying to compete with me. You always radiate this perfect guy and it's intimidating."

"Me?" James scoffed, "perfect?"

"I mean it." She motioned at him distractedly, "I mean, look at you! Quidditch captain, Head Boy, pro-dueler, _and_ good-looking?"

James blinked at her, "You think I look good?"

Lily seemed to realize what she had implied, and she quickly shot down his ego, "if you're into hairy, Gryffindor idiots in specs."

James smiled amusedly, adjusting his specs and grinning at her, "You don't look half bad yourself, Slytherin."

She snorted, "you're such a flirt."

James winked, "Only with you."

Lily rolled her eyes, but she was grinning as she played with her hair, "Idiot."

"We established that," James grinned, "Good-looking idiot in specs. That's me."

She leaned away from him before settling back into her seat and fiddling with her fingers in her lap fretfully. James gazed at her, wanting to just go for it and pull Lily into his arms. He wanted to kiss her, savor her, _feel_ her. It wasn't the right time, he knew that, they'd only just started becoming friendly. If he acted on the feelings now there was no telling what would happen…even if she did admit she found him attractive. James wished Lily could see herself the way he saw her now in the darkest little paradise of their little office.

If he was lucky enough to ever have her feelings reciprocated, if he was ever lucky enough that she might want him too, James would never hesitate around her again.

"Lily?"

"Hm?"

"I'm glad we're friends now."

Lily sighed and glanced his way, a smile plastered on her face, "We'll see if you're still saying that in two weeks with Slytherin kicks Gryffindor's arse in quidditch."

"As if." James retorted and she laughed, standing up and stretching.

James stood up with her and they both left the Head Dorms, heading down the hallways together. They were still bickering over quidditch but it was pleasant and neither of them wanted to go separate ways, so they opted for a walk together. They walked around the lake together, talking about things other than school, reputations, and purebloods. It was nice, spending time with Lily. She spoke to him more openly once they were outside. She explained that she and Amelia Greengrass were still fighting.

"And Snape wants you to apologize to her?" James asked her, totally flabbergasted as she explained her predicament, "Lily, you shouldn't have to apologize!"

"I know!" Lily's said heatedly as she kicked at the snow underneath her feet, "that's what I said!"

"Greengrass probably put the posters up herself." James said.

They entered a long path that led through the silvery branches on the forest, right along the edge. James had taken the path many times and knew it was safe, so he led the way in. Lily followed him, her eyes staring up at the ice-covered branches in awe. It looked like another world, James marveled at it too as they hiked through the ankle-deep snow.

"I'm pretty sure it was Rosier putting the posters, but I have no proof so I can't give either of them detention." Lily told James as she fingered one of the silvery branches.

"Did you ask Snape?" James asked offhandedly.

"No," Lily shook her head, "Sev would never let them post that stuff."

"Then why does he want _you_ to apologize to Greengrass?"

"I _think_ so that I'll stop avoiding the common room." She admitted with a sigh, "He says he hates being around the others without me."

James dismally shook his head, "wow"

"Wow?"

James shook his head, refusing to answer, not wanting to make her angry. So, instead, he pointed out a white figure in the trees. Lily followed his point and grew excited when she recognized the light-colored fur and horn parading form it's forehead. The unicorn watched them, but stayed back, not trusting James in human form. Whenever it was a full moon and James came across unicorns in the forest as Prongs, they let him walk among them.

Lily's rosy face was filled with joy as she watched the unicorn step amongst the white snow, "It's so pretty."

Despite the troubles Lily was under, she wanted to remain positive, based on her cheery smile as she was skipping ahead of him, leading the way around the lake. The snow was lovely, if not icy, which led both of them to try and slide farther than the other as the sun slowly lowered in the bright blue sky. By the time they both made it back to the castle, Lily was cackling so loudly she scared some owls perched on the top of the castle, and James couldn't stop gawking at her. She had ice crystals in her hair and all over her black cloak. He could've spent forever watching her laugh with her head thrown back so carelessly. Being outside and away from the castle with her, amongst the ice-covered trees, was like being in a sacred oasis.

"Come with me to the common room," she begged before they had to go to dinner, "I want you to meet my cat!"

"Lily," James said with a chuckle as she tugged on his arm, "if I enter that common room with you, we'll both be slaughtered by your housemates."

"Fine." She agreed, "I'll bring the cat to you, now come on!"

She was acting sprightly and happy-go-lucky, like she'd acted when they'd met at the Swift Broomsticks concert in the summer. Whenever she acted like this, so happy and full of life, James couldn't help but be enchanted by her. He didn't know how anyone could ever want to be upset with her, like her 'friends' in Slytherin.

She was a bright light amongst a world of darkness, even when she thought her own world was falling apart.

They both traveled into the shadowy and icy dungeons together. Lily was a little way ahead, motioning for James to keep up when she unexpectedly stopped dead in her tracks. Her head was turned to the left, her eyes trapped on something James couldn't see. He wondered if she'd spotted a couple snogging in the dark corners of the halls. Her face was twisted grotesquely and James couldn't see what Lily saw until he completely rounded the corner.

James almost ran into Lily, his eyes stuck on the wall in front of them. Shock overtook all his happiness from their walk, killing his good mood as his eyes traced the words written on the wall right outside of the fifth-year potion's classroom.

" _Join the Revolution_ ," James whispered horrorstruck, " _Burn the mudbloods_ -fucking Hell!"

The banner was hand drawn, painted to look as if the words themselves were on fire. Below the words, hands holding wands in the air were burning people dressed in muggles clothes. James immediately started trying to rip down the large banner. It wouldn't budge. James cursed as he tried to use his whole body weight to rip the poster from the walls.

"Some git stuck it onto the walls with a permanent sticking charm!" James said, out-of-breath, "can you help?"

He looked back, imagining Lily to be stepping forward with a hard look in her eyes. He expected her to have the same fiery expression that she'd worn while dueling him. Instead, Lily took a few steps back, gripping her stomach, until her back hit the far wall. Her green eyes were the widest James had ever seen them and she was taking in deep breathes. James stopped trying to pull down the words and ran over to her, placing both hands on her cheeks, lifting her face.

Tears were streaking down her face, her eyes weren't focused on James, just the words behind him. Her shoulders were shaking along to her hard breathing. James shook her warily, uneasiness flooding through him. He'd never seen her so distraught, so panicked.

"Are you alright?"

Lily didn't answer, her eyes were too busy staring at the words that seemed to glow in the darkness. She was red in the face, looking as if the words had spelled out her name. Her tears were sliding onto James' hands as he tried to get her to look at him. He remembered how upset she'd been over Olivia Swift, but this was more, something had genuinely disturbed her.

"It's going to be okay." He soothed Lily, pulling her into his chest, "Lily, talk to me, what's wrong?"

"Whatever I do," she cried, "it isn't enough."

"Lily," James shook her shoulders, "Lily, what's wrong? Do you know who did this?"

Lily's eyes slid to his face, the look in them haunted, "Does it even matter who, anymore?"

Lily slid out of his hands and into the fetal position on the floor. She covered her head, as if the walls were talking to her, shouting at her. James hissed as he realized she wasn't going to move. He'd have to go find Professor Slughorn and get the poster off the walls on his own, but he didn't want to leave her alone.

Not like this.


	9. Delicate

_Chapter 9:_

_Is it cool that I said all that?_

_Is it chill that you're in my head?_

_Cause I know that it's delicate._

Lily's felt her own anguish all the way down to her toes. It was like someone had ripped her heart from her chest, still beating. Lily had never been in love with someone to feel what heartbreak was, but she thought this had to be pretty damn close. She wanted to scream at everyone and everything but didn't even know where to start. She wanted to stay standing, but her knees collapsed under her own weight. She wanted to keep it together for James' sake, but she was too far gone to even act like she was okay.

It was way worse than when she'd seen the words 'go home mudblood' on Olivia's walls.

Lily's been so content too, with James following her with a smile and a laugh etched on his face. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been so carefree. She'd been so willing to allow James into her private life, just a little more. Lily had been dragging him to meet her cat, something she'd never done with anyone outside of Slytherin house. James had been laughing, trying to convince her that if Severus or any of the other Slytherins spotted them together, James would end up in the Hospital Wing. Lily had convinced James to take a chance on her, since she was taking a chance on him. She'd been so caught up in her mind made heaven with James that when she rounded the corner, she forgot how easy it was to cry.

The words magically glimmered against the dark wall, turning Lily to stone. The words caught her, trapped her, like a net. Lily's feet locked onto the ground, her brain spinning with all the things running through her mind. She was aware of James trying to talk to her. He was trying to figure out why she'd frozen in the hallway outside of the fifth year Potions classroom. He sounded worried, but Lily couldn't bring her eyes to leave the words on the wall, even for him.

_Join the Revolution: Burn the Mudbloods!_

Lily felt isolated, disoriented, and she wanted to scream.

The purebloods, Lily knew it was all their fault. Severus had been right when he said they'd never accept anyone who was muggleborn. He was right to want to hide Lily's heritage from the people they lived with for the last seven years. She knew all of this and yet, Lily felt as if she were drowning from the weight of the realization that it was never going to end.

The war could end tomorrow, but that wouldn't change Amelia's mind or Knott's discrimination. A war ending wouldn't make Mulciber regret anything he'd done to the muggleborns like Mary MacDonald. The war wasn't why people had driven Olivia Swift from the Hogwarts halls and it wasn't why muggleborns were singled out.

The discrimination had been around long before Voldemort had settled his nails into Great Britain. In all the history books in History of Magic, in all the whispers and echoes that haunted Lily late at night, muggleborns had always been discriminated against. Muggleborns would be segregated until every single person stopped their hate, pureblood or not.

"Lily?!" James was right next to her, but he sounded worlds away from her.

Lily couldn't answer James. Instead, she curled her knees closer to her chest and took a deep breath in as tears dripped onto her chest from her cheeks. Everything that had been piling up the last few weeks, every partition she'd been trying to skip around without crashing, had slammed into her like a stunner to the chest.

Lily felt like the world around her was moving much slower than all the deliberations racing through her head. There were one hundred things she wanted to say, but all she could do was stare at the god damn poster and question everything that had led to that point.

She wondered who had put it up—and what they'd do to Lily if she ever told the truth.

"I'll be right back." James' voice cut through her subconscious and Lily's head shot up, "I'm just going to go get help." He assured Lily as he started walking backwards, away from her, "I'm going to get Slughorn."

Slughorn.

Lily knew what would happen if Slughorn ever saw her this upset. He'd never leave her alone until he had answers because he was so kind, he'd want to help her. A part of Lily wondered if she could ever tell Slughorn, who'd always been so supportive of her. What if he only liked her because she was half-blood? What if he'd stop helping her get a job once he found out the truth?  
"No." Lily was aware of speaking, but the voice didn't sound remotely like her, it was so high pitched.

Lily took a shuddering breath in and leaned her head back against the stone-cold walls. It was James, getting smaller in her line of vision that made her heart skip another beat.

"No!" she unhooked her hands from around her legs and reached for James, " _James don't_!"

James stopped, to his credit, but he seemed tense, "No?"

"I don't want anyone to see me like this." She pleaded as she sat up on her knees, "Please, James."

Lily wiped her eyes with the sleeves of her robes, trying to get herself right. Trying to look like she hadn't just been attacked psychologically by a anti-muggleborn poster. She had to fool James into thinking she was fine, so that Slughorn wouldn't find her so shaken. No one could know she'd accidently lost control. James was the only exception, there was no going back with him, but Lily figured that he might not ask her too much if she asked him not too.

"Stay." She repeated and, for good measure, tried to send a pout his way.

James looked torn and he glanced behind his shoulder, "But—"

Lily shook her head desperately, " _Please_."

She knew he'd listen to her pleas, after all, he was always so kind to her and noble to his core. James treated Lily right, better than anyone else she'd ever met, even Severus. She hadn't realized how much she craved someone like James in her life, someone so warm and welcoming. Now that she had James, she was afraid to lose him with every passing second. James glanced over his shoulder once more before racing over to help Lily back to her feet as she tried her hardest to stop the tears from rolling out of her eyes.

The words were flickering red and orange, like real flames, burning Lily's vision whenever she glanced over. The tears slipping down her cheeks were a combination of frustration and disappointment. She needed to find Severus, she needed to talk to him about this. He swore he'd talk to the other Slytherins but right now, it looked like he hadn't even tried.

James pressed another hand against her cheek, forcing Lily to look at him.

"Alright, Evans?" he asked softly, his thumb pressing gently under her jaw.

Lily shook her head, her cheek pressing into his hand as he wiped away her remaining tears. In the darkness, even without a torch, she swore his eyes glowed. James' hazel eyes investigated her face for the answers to the questions burning on the tip of his tongue.

Lily stood under his gaze, trying and failing to look as if she were okay. James saw right through her bluffs and he would be the first to call her out on her usual tricks if she tried to lie to him. Severus didn't want Lily telling anyone about her muggle parents and he certainly wouldn't be happy if the first person she chose to tell in seven years was his arch-nemesis. Something between James and Severus wasn't right. Despite being overwhelmed by her other problems, Lily had to get to the bottom of their fighting. She had to find a middle ground for them, so she could keep both of them in her life in some fashion.

Severus wouldn't understand how much Lily wanted to tell James everything in the Head office. Lily knew Sev most certainly wouldn't understand how badly Lily had wanted to kiss James under the silver trimmed branches outside on their walk. For once in her life…Lily considered keeping a secret from Severus this time…she was giving up, standing down, ready to drop all her walls for James.

She only needed one second of fearlessness.

One second where she could walk away from the lies holding her tall so that she could fall into James' good graces.

"You're scaring me." James murmured, his voice deep, "you look as if you've seen a ghost."

She had, in a way.

The words were a reminder of the Lily that she kept repressed, every day, for her own safety. It had always been a compromise because she'd play the half-blood game for seven years and then go back to Cokesworth with Severus in the summers and turn back into a muggleborn. Severus always promised Lily she wouldn't have to hide once she graduated but running home to Cokesworth seemed like an extension of the game she was currently playing. Severus had Lily's life planned out to keep her safe, but Lily didn't want to play it safe anymore, she wanted to live.

And she wanted James to know.

"James," she whispered, "I need to tell you something."

"What?"

James' fingers dragged down the sides of her neck and down her arms, pulling her hands into his own. The sparks that grew in her stomach when he stared so readily, so prepared to hear her out, those sparks set her soul on fire. She was terrified to tell him, but she felt there was no going back now that he'd seen her break down twice. He'd figure it out sooner or later.

"I don't know how to tell you."

"What?"

She had to tell someone before she went insane.

"I—I'm—I just—"

A set of footsteps echoed through the hallway and cut Lily off before she could even get one more word out. Lily and James turned quickly to find Professor Rogers materialize through the darkness. Her blue eyes fell onto the couple, soaking in everything from the clasped hands to the panicked tears threatening to spill from Lily's eyes again. Immediately, she dropped her wand, tucking it into her back pocket.

"What's going on?"

Professor Rogers glanced to the opposite wall, likely to make sure James and Lily were alone. Lily watched as Professor Rogers' face slipped into the longest frown she'd ever seen. Rogers crossed her arms and rounded on the Head Boy and Girl.

"What the Hell is this?" she motioned to the poster, "Did you two put this up?"

Lily's mouth fell open and her face darkened as James let go of Lily. James looked relieved at the sight of Professor Rogers, but Lily had her head tucked, trying to hide that she'd been sobbing.

"Professor we didn't do it," James' voice was thick with relief, "I tried to get it off, but we think it's permanent."

Rogers' eyes didn't leave Lily, even as James talked, Rogers seemed to be watching Lily's smallest movement. It was like she was seeing right through Lily, only the wrong way. Lily felt like throwing up as she realized Rogers probably did think they'd put the poster up. It looked suspicious, a pureblood and a supposed halfblood in the dark hallway huddled close together.

"We didn't do it." Lily hiccupped, defending herself and James quickly, "We just found it."

Rogers' expression relaxed, "Have you been crying Evans?"

James threw a comforting arm around Lily's shoulders, "she's been dealing with this shite so much lately, I think it's finally cracked her resolve."

Roger's only hummed noncommittally, her eyes still assessing Lily's fallen shoulders. Lily didn't want to meet Rogers' eyes. She wasn't thrilled that someone had found them, especially now. Rogers turned away from the couple to stare at the wall and the poster.

Lily watched through her lashes as Rogers ran her wand along the poster, whispering a bunch of words in a fluid concession. Slowly, the edges of the poster lifted from the wall and eventually, the poster fell to Professor Rogers' feet. Rogers bent down to pick it up, rolling it for easy travel, before turning back to the couple standing in the dark hallway together.

"Mr. Potter," Rogers' voice had remained relatively calm despite her clear rage, "Help Miss Evans to my office please."

James furrowed his brow, "You can't honestly believe we'd do this, Professor." James tucked Lily closer, "I know she's a Slytherin but she's nothing like those bigots. I swear. I'll even do the detention for her! If you—"

"Mr. Potter." Rogers cut James off, giving him an distracted sort of wave, "I don't believe it was either of you."

"Oh."

Lily couldn't resist peeking at James through her curtain of hair. He looked sheepish, as if he hadn't meant to say all those things about her. As if he hadn't just gallantly offered to take double punishment just to save Lily's good record. He was so unbelievably loyal, and Lily wished she knew a way to thank him for supporting her. All she could think of right now, was pulling his hand up to her mouth and pressing her lips against his wrist.

She didn't, only because she was suddenly aware of Rogers coming over and putting an arm around Lily too. James removed himself from Lily's person, allowing Rogers to take over supporting Lily. Lily craved James' arms again, feeling weird as Rogers led Lily out of the dungeons.

"The people putting up these posters," Rogers said delicately, "Will get what's coming to them."

Rogers motioned for James to follow. Rogers helped Lily until they reached the staircase. Rogers promptly let go of Lily's shoulder, allowing James to swoop in and tuck his arm around Lily's waist. Lily looked up at James. One of his hands lifted to brush her fringe from her eyes before they started the climb up the staircase.

He was so, so good to her.

Lily didn't know what she did to deserve James, but she was so happy he'd found his way into her life. Lily would willingly hand James bits of herself, if only he'd ask. As they descended the staircase, he pulled her closer to his side, matching each step. James' free hand reached up to brush a stray tear from her cheek.

She wouldn't mind if their friendship slid into something more intimate and _real_. Anything that mirrored the way he'd looked at her in the Head office would be nice. James' soft touches and comforting words were more than enough to keep her grounded when her world was spinning too fast; especially as they got further from the dungeons.

His fingers gathering at the fabric at her waist when she looked back up at him again. He couldn't take his eyes off her, as if he was worried that if he did look away, she'd disappear. He didn't even realize what he was doing, each time he got close to her, even now.

He was a pureblood and even though he was different from Rosier and Knott, Lily couldn't help but worry that once she finally told him, it'd be too much for him. She didn't want to waste time by opening up her heart for him only for James to leave her back in the dark.

Rogers led Lily and James up the long staircases to her office at the farthest end of the castle. Rogers kept glancing back to make sure they were following, concern plain as day in her blue eyes. James kept Lily tucked into his side, seeming to use his body as a way to ease her, like a weighted blanket. Lily ought to have been embarrassed about the way she leaned her face into his arm, but the only thing she could think about was how nice it was to have someone support her so readily without even knowing _why_.

She felt like running, she felt like running as far as she could possibly run. She wanted to get away from it all but James was holding her into place, with a soft arm around her waist, his fingers hooking lightly on her robes as they followed Professor Rogers.

"It's going to be okay," James pressed his lips onto her hair by her ear, "we'll talk to Dumbledore. We'll get these gits to stop."

James just didn't understand, after all, how could he?

Professor Rogers' office door was wide open, showing off a desk with a cauldron bubbling over. Rogers' wand waved at the cauldron and it stopped bubbling enough that it was no longer spraying bits of purple potion all over her graded papers. She shot a glance back at James and Lily, her smile was remorseful.

"I was down getting some new mandrake leaves for my potion when I ran into you two."

"What are you making?" James asked Rogers as he sat Lily on one of the chairs facing the desk, "it smells awful."

Lily had to agree with James as she took a deep breath in, the potion smelled a bit like rotten eggs. She wrinkled her nose and James chuckled at Lily's appearance as he fell into the seat beside her. Lily looked at him, confused, wondering what on earth he found so amusing at a time like this.

He reached out to squeeze her shoulder, "You look so cute when you crinkle your nose like that."

_Oh._

Lily looked down at her lap quickly, a furious blush on her cheeks from his compliment. Once again, she was struck with a burning need to thank him, kiss him, and tell him every single secret that was building up inside of Lily like kindling to a fire. Instead, Lily looked around Rogers' office, admiring a still portrait of the Auror and a bearded man on horseback in the countryside.

Rogers pulled a few leaves from her pocket. They were mandrake leaves, based on their coloration, and Rogers put them into her bubbling cauldron. Rogers stirred the cauldron for a minute. When she was done that, she grabbed the anti-muggleborn poster and chucked it in the fireplace next to Lily.

Lily watched as the flames sprouted and burned the words that had, ironically called to burn Lily. The spark inside of Lily's heart didn't die out as the flames overtook the poster. If anything, the flames inside of Lily only grew, turning steadily into a wildfire of emotions. On the outside, Lily tried to keep a cool and calm personification.

Rogers must've seen right through it.

"Mr. Potter," Rogers spoke up sensitively, "I'd actually like to speak with Miss Evans alone, if you don't mind."

James looked flabbergasted but conceded, sending one last looked over to Lily before he stood up and sulked his way from the office. Lily watched him go, disappointment sinking into her fiery heart; it was like a bit of water had doused it out. Rogers shut the door behind James as Lily sunk lower in her seat, aware of Rogers' eyes stuck on the back of her head. Lily swallowed as Rogers walked around the chair and leaned against the edge of her desk, staring at Lily.

"You're quite the interesting witch," Rogers said informally, "You seem to have a knack for charms."

Lily didn't answer, instead she kept her gaze focused on the still photograph on Rogers' desk. She tried to seem cold and indifferent, to not show weakness. She let her mind wander to James and she tried not to dwell on her lost chance to tell him why she was wrapped in secrecy and silence.

She wished she could tell everyone the truth, but she mostly wished she'd gotten to tell James. She knew that now, she'd talk herself out of it for Severus' sake. Still, she wished James knew what all her pantomime and pageantry was for. She had to be so cautious and James was so extreme, they were different. Even still, she wished she'd gotten the chance to tell him everything. 

"I wanted to speak to you alone," Rogers said, "Because I know you're upset about these posters"

Lily's face paled.

"You'll notice that Mr. Potter didn't seem as upset as you." Rogers casually brushed her orange hair into her bun at the nape of her neck, "he was more worried about you and your reaction."

Lily had no idea where the topic was going so, she uneasily replied, "Well, it was a shock, but I'm okay now."

Rogers looked dissatisfied, "Miss Evans," she shook her head, "no part of you is okay, despite your desperate attempts to tell yourself so.

Lily faltered from the bluntness directed by Rogers "pardon?"

Rogers crossed her arms and leaned forward, blue eyes serious, "Do you remember telling Dumbledore that you would go through the student files to look for any more muggleborn students in Slytherin?"

Lily felt suddenly felt very, very sick. "Yes."

"Well, I wanted to check, not because I didn't trust you to do as he asked but because I thought I might lend a hand. I want to start assisting some of the school's muggelborns…seeing as I am one."

"I forgot." Lily said sheepishly, picking at her fingernails apprehensively.

"I pulled Slytherins records first, out of my own curiosity." Rogers continued, "You were the third file in and imagine my surprise when I glanced at it."

"Professor—"

"I wasn't going to look, after all, you said you weren't muggleborn." Lily slouched even farther in her seat under Rogers' powerful stare, "but I was curious about your standings in previous classes since you expressed so much surprise in my becoming an Auror. I didn't even _get_ to your grades because right at the top of your student file, your blood status box was squared."

"I wanted to tell everyone," Lily defended herself quickly, "I just didn't know how!"

Rogers stood up straight and despite her short stature, intimidated Lily, "I'm disappointed in you."

Rogers might've hit her with a branding iron, and it would've hurt less, "Professor I—"

Rogers shook her head, "No, Evans. No excuses. I want answers."

Lily felt fresh tears well up in her eyes, "Of course, but—"

"But nothing," Rogers pressed her fingers to the bridge of her nose, "have you ever once stopped to think about how far you've set back muggleborns like yourself by refusing to be who you are?"

"I never asked for this!" Lily cried out pathetically, "I spent all my years in primary, being told I was a freak for being able to do things my friends couldn't. I thought when I got here that things would change and they _did_ —but only because I didn't tell anyone my blood status!"

"That's a weak excuse Miss Evans and you know it." Rogers crossed over to Lily's chair, "You forget that I see you almost every day, I know for a fact you aren't happy."

Lily stood up crossly, "I don't remember asking you for your opinion!"

"Well you're going to get it." Rogers stepped in Lily's way so she couldn't run, "are you even prepared for the repercussions of your choices?" She asked seriously, "I'm surprised no one's figured it out already!"

"You don't think I don't know how stupid I am?" Lily's face fell into her palms, losing control, "No one in Slytherin likes me because I'm outspoken for muggleborns, and no one in the other houses like me, because I'm always with the other Slytherins!"

"Then why do you keep lying?" Rogers probed, "why on Earth would you try and hide who you really are, when the world needs people like you the most?"

"My friend Severus." Lily explained through her fingers, "he's the one who started this, he was trying to protect me!"

Professor Rogers exhaled, "he is incredibly naïve if he thinks that making you a halfblood means _anything_ close to protection."

Lily pulled her hands from her face to see that Rogers was looking at Lily like she was a defenseless animal, "I know that anyone who speaks up for muggleborns isn't safe, I know that, but he just wants us to follow this plan we made when we were younger."

"What plan?"

"Severus said once I graduated, we'd go home to Cokesworth and wait for the war to be over." Lily furiously brushed at the fears falling fast from her eyes, "and he'd help me get a job after the war."

"Why can't you get a job now?"

"The muggleborn segregation."

Professor Rogers seemed even more dazed, "you were just going to run home and pretend to be a muggle instead of fighting to end the discrimination?"

Lily sensed the frustration in Rogers tone, "what else could I do? I doubt I'd be as lucky as you."

"Says who?"

"I don't _know_." Lily cried furiously, "I just don't know anything anymore! I thought I did! But it turns out, I've learned nothing in the last seven years except how to keep secrets!"

Lily threw her arms up in the air and fell back into her chair, absolutely disgusted with herself. She wondered if she could run again, all the way to the ocean, so she could jump in and sink and drown and die. She felt humiliated by Rogers and judged even more by a fellow muggleborn. Rogers seemed to realize she'd been too harsh on Lily because she took a deep breath and leaned against her desk to feign being at ease.

"Evans, you are extraordinarily bright."Rogers pursed her lips and leaned forward, "do not allow the voices of those lesser in intellect tell you how to live your once and very precious life."

"I'm trying to live my life how I want."

"By following Mr. Snape's suggestions?" Rogers sounded doubtful, "That's running away Evans, not standing and fighting."

Lily lowered her head and stared at her feet as she mumbled desperately, "Professor he's my best friend. All he wants is what's best for me, so I don't end up like Olivia Swift!"

"Miss Evans," Rogers let out a long breath, "the only one in this castle who can tell you what you need, is yourself."

"So, you think I shouldn't listen to Severus?" Lily looked up at Rogers for help, "You think I should tell everyone my secret and have to battle every day to defend myself and my choices? Severus is right, people would try and hurt me. They'd hate me and talk about me. Severus is just trying to be a good friend and keep me on a safe route."

"People can be your friend, Miss Evans, and still lead you down a less-than-desirable path" Rogers said, "Mr. Snape should not make your choices for you, good intentions or not. Friends can offer advice and suggest ideas but at the end of the day, you need to do what your heart is telling you to do."

Lily looked up at Rogers, knowing her Professor was right.

She'd been too caught up in what everyone would think.

Lily had been too caught up in her reputation.

Whatever she said, it would never be right.

Whatever she did, it would never be enough.

"I want to tell people." Lily whispered, "I just don't know where to start."

Rogers' jutted her thumb to her closed door, "I suggest starting small with the people you trust."

"People I trust?" Lily repeated, imagining James' kindhearted face.

"Mr. Potter?" Rogers suggested coolly, as if reading Lily's mind.

Lily played with her robe edge, "You think I should tell James?"

Rogers snorted, "if you want to tell people, even if you can only do Mr. Potter for now, then tell him."

"I'm worried Severus won't understand if I start telling people," Lily said, "He's as wrapped up in this mess as anyone."

"Then don't go behind his back." Rogers suggested, "Tell your friend Mr. Snape after you've spoken to Mr. Potter."

Lily shook her head, "They both _hate_ each other."

"I gathered that." Rogers seemed amused again, a small smile fixed on her face.

Lily's shoulders dropped again as she imagined Sev's face if he were to ever find out about her growing relationship with James and how much Lily trusted the Gryffindor quidditch captain. Rogers seemed to notice Lily retreating back into her shell. Rogers placed a hand on Lily's shoulder and Lily looked up at her Professor, exposing her nervous frown.

"There are going to be so many people who tell you who to be." Rogers said, kneeling to Lily's height, "It's really easy to become too become preoccupied with the thoughts of others and how they think you should walk, talk, or act."

Lily voiced her real fears out loud, "I'm scared that if more people find out, more people will hate me for lying all these years and I'll be the next Olivia or the next mudblood they'll want to burn."

Rogers shook her head, "those words, the names you will probably be called, they aren't written into stone. You can't let those words become a threat to who you really are. You shouldn't care about the opinions of someone who doesn't know you, or care about you. You should only care about the thoughts of people who show up in your greatest moments…good or bad…and stay."

Severus had stayed, even knowing she was muggleborn. He'd tried to help her, to keep her from the words of those who thought of Lily as dirty blood. Yet, Sev wanted Lily to live her life behind the green walls that he'd built high to keep her safe. Sev didn't want Lily leaving the tall walls she'd painted green, he didn't want her to grow into a new color, for fear of losing her.

"I don't know what to do." Lily said, feeling as if the whole world sat on her shoulders.

Rogers stood upright and said, "Think about what I've told you, Evans. I can't make you tell your peers, but I told Dumbledore you'd been lying about your blood status to the other students. Show him that you're the brave girl he thought you were."

Lily glanced at the door and wondered if she ought to keep running from the truth or finally let it free. She wondered if her nightmares would finally become reality. She wondered if she'd lose both of her best friends, James and Sev. She didn't ever want to lose them both, but she didn't know how to tell the truth and keep either of them on her side.

"Go on," Professor Rogers saw Lily glance at the door and urged her to follow her heart, "go do whatever it is you want to do, just be careful of those lies and broken promises, Evans."

Lily looked at her Professor peculiarly, "how did you know exactly what to say?"

Rogers walked over to her desk and picked up the ladle to stir her potion, "I might have been in a similar position to you, once."

"You lied too?" Lily asked hopefully.

"Not in the way you did. People knew I was muggleborn." Professor Rogers' eyes glanced to the photograph, the one of her and the man, "but I still learned enough to know that you're playing a reckless game and you're going to feel worse, before you feel better."

Wonder struck Lily and she felt a rush of warmth for the Professor. Rogers was harsh with Lily, but rightfully so. Lily stood up from her chair and walked over to Rogers, sticking a hand out.

"I'll try to be better." Lily promised.

Rogers smiled and took Lily's hand, shaking it up and down, "Be careful Miss Evans, some snakes play nice, only to deliver the deadliest bite."

Lily didn't know what her Professor meant, so she just tucked her chin and let go of Rogers' soft hand.

"Thank you." Lily told Rogers, "And I'm sorry I lied to you."

Rogers observed Lily kindly, "I'm sorry too, but you have a chance to make up for it."

Lily turned away from Rogers, placing a hand on the door. Lily pushed open the door, expecting to find an empty hallway, instead she found James.

A swooping feeling swept through her stomach at the sight of him leaning against the far wall, twirling his wand in his fingers.

James stayed with her in the hallway.

James stayed with her in the dungeons.

James stayed, even now.

When Professor Rogers' door opened, he'd stuffed his wand in his pocket and looked up eagerly. Lily was worried he might've heard something, but Rogers' office must've been sound proofed because his hazel eyes were still drawn with confusion. He leapt up and started for Lily with a strong stare that would've normally made Lily blush, it was so intense.

He'd waited for her to get out of the office and close the door. Lily felt almost like the world shifted under his stare. She didn't know what to do now, so much had changed in so little time. Nothing had ever made her feel so strongly, as the way she felt for James. Just the fact that he'd stayed for her and wanted to be there for her, no matter what, made her realize she'd never meet another person like him in her entire life.

Lily took a deep breath and put a hand up to prevent James from barreling into stopped dead in his tracks. Lily stepped closer to him, so that they met in the middle of the hallway. She shook as she started pulling down the walls for the boy who had proved, over and over again, that he was always on her side.

She was ready for whatever the truth would bring her because right now, she couldn't imagine having the conversation she'd just had with Rogers, with James, if he ever found out the truth from someone other than her.

"What's wrong?" he asked, "Why'd she want to talk to you alone?"

"James."

"What?"

The truth tumbled out of her mouth, "I'm a Muggleborn."

It was like she'd caught him in a web. He stopped moving his hands to touch hers. He stopped everything, just to stare at her. She took another deep breath and one more step so that she was directly under his line of sight.

"I was scared when I first came to Hogwarts, I still am. The things that happened with Olivia and that poster. I was upset because I'm a muggleborn. My parents aren't wizards and my sister is a muggle. I was trying to tell you, down in the dungeons. I wanted to tell you—I just didn't want you to look at me any differently."

James' hand lifted to his curls, tugging his fingers through his messy black hair as he stared at Lily with a look of pure fascination. It was like she'd bewitched him, mind body and soul. She didn't know what emotions were running across his face. His silence unnerved her.

"I'm sorry." She tucked her head, disgraced, "But I'm going to try and be braver, like I should've been a long time ago. I understand if you don't want to be friends anymore. I understand if you're mad or if you hate me for being a coward. I deserve that. I deserve everything you're thinking—"

" _Lily_."

His sharp voice cut through her monologue and she looked up in surprise.

James' hand had dropped from his hair and his arms were at his side. James' eyes traced her face carefully, his chest rising and falling slowly as he opened his mouth to say something else. She was startled when he closed his mouth three seconds later, apparently thinking better of whatever he was going to say.

James was so still, so silent, it was eating Lily alive. She was worried he was angry, because Sev always froze whenever she did something that he didn't like or agree with...

Lily took another step closer, about to get on her knees and beg James to hear her out.

Suddenly James moved, reaching forward to wrap his arms around her, pulling her in for a hug.

She was so startled that she didn't hug him back, "You aren't mad?"

"I am," he said, and she pulled back only to find his eyes burning with some ire she couldn't place, "but not at you. I'm pissed at the sorting hat for placing you in Slytherin, when it _knew_ you were muggleborn. That house has always hated muggleborns! Why would you be in it?!"

"I asked to be in Slytherin." Lily reminded James, "I did this to myself. It's not the hat's fault. I didn't know about the discrimination—I mean I did but I didn't know how bad it was."

"Lily." James said, "Does Snape know?"

"Yes."

James unwound his arms from around her waist and checked his watch, "Are you hungry?"

Surprised by his change of subject, Lily shook her head, "how can you be thinking about food at a time like this?"

"It's almost curfew." James flicked his wrist so she could see his watch, "And we need to eat _and_ talk, which hardly gives us enough time."

"Talk?" Lily asked, "I can't talk to you about this in the Great Hall, everyone will see us. Everyone will _hear_ us."

James frowned, "You don't want anyone else to know?"

"Not yet." She said, "only you, Rogers, Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Sev know the truth."

James looked at his watch again, seeming concerned, "I can get the house elves to get us some food in the kitchens, we'll eat and talk someplace where no one will hear you."

Lily was too exhausted to argue with James, so she let him lead her down to the kitchens. They passed a few students but no one who really recognized. Lily was surprised how well James was taking her secret, how kind he was being. She'd just assumed James would be mad at her, when in all reality he was trying to blame the sorting hat.

She wondered if it had really set in yet, if James had _really_ thought about what she said.

James kept Lily waiting outside the kitchens alone, but he was in and out within moments. When he reappeared, he had a napkin with three different types of biscuits in his hand and a cup of pumpkin juice nestled in his arm. Lily wiped her hands on her robes and offered to take something from him, but James refused to hand over any of the treats.

Instead, James led her back up the staircase and into the main hallway. They passed a few more students as James led her to a place only he knew, but no one really looked at them. It wasn't unusual for the Head Hoy and Girl to be seen together outside of the Great Hall. Had they eaten together in front of everyone else, tongues would've started wagging. Lily was certain Severus would have a heart attack if he ever saw her with James, nustled close.

Professor Rogers told Lily to follow her heart and for her friends' safety, Lily knew in her heart she had to keep James and Sev a secret from each other. It was inevitable, knowing one day she'd have to tell Sev the truth about James but for now, Lily wanted to keep some part of her life away from the drama and gossip.

James stopped once they were at the end of the hallway, where a wide glass window overlooked the snowy grounds. It was unobtrusive, being so far away from the Great Hall and empty classrooms. Lily was happy James knew the school better than anyone, because he knew a place for them to eat where there wouldn't be eavesdropping. James settled on the large windowsill, placing the food and drinks down in front of him. Lily sat down in front of him, curling her knees up to her chest as she sniffled. James pushed the food towards her. She picked up one of the muffins and nibbled the end.

"Eat it all," he ordered, "You still look a little pale."

Lily did as she was told and he smiled even more, content with her mouth full. He really was doting, perfect and sweet. Lily knew she shouldn't tell him, she knew she should try to pull away and tell him that she was fine…but nothing good would happen the moment she pushed him away. If Lily kept pushing James away, one day he might not come back to her.

She wasn't about to let that happen.

As she chewed her muffin, she thought about how James became defensive when Lily tried to ask about his mate Lupin. Lily had known Remus Lupin was probably a werewolf ever since Severus had started hinting at it in fourth or fifth year. He was always trying to get Lily to hate the Gryffindor boys as much as he did. Of course, ever since James apparently saved Sev's life from the whomping willow, Sev hadn't mentioned werewolves ever again.

Still, Lily wasn't an idiot; the coincidences were just too perfect to not accept.

She's asked James as a test, to see if James was as loyal to Lupin as Severus was loyal to Lily. Based on James' reactions when she'd brought it up, she knew James would protect his best friend and take the secret to his grave. It wasn't James' secret to tell and Lily respected that James wouldn't tell her the truth even though she already (kind of) knew the answer. When pressured by Lily to answer the question earlier, James had deflected the attention away from Lupin and that had been Lily's confirmation.

If James would lie to protect Lupin, wouldn't he lie to protect Lily too?

Even though she'd been ready to tell James, she was nowhere near ready for everyone else to know. Not yet, not until she figured out how to tell everyone else. Especially the other Slytherins.

They ate in silence, both of them lost in their own immediate thoughts. The hallway torches lit magically as the last bit of sunlight disappeared. The flames shrouded James and Lily in their own shadows, but it was more comforting that way. They shared the drink as the torches on the walls created dancing shadows around them.

Lily heard nothing but the sound of her own heart beating and a few portraits snoozing in their frames. James finished the last biscuit, his eyes cast out to the snowy window. Lily stared at the way he clenched his jaw and the way his curls fell into his eyes. The gears in his brain were spinning fast, going over everything that happened that day. Lily moved the napkin from between them and scooted closer to James so that she could place a hand on his arm. James considered her, the firelight from a torch nearby flickering on his glasses.

James scooted closer to her, one of his hands coming to rest on her cheek again, "Can I tell you something?" he asked, "can we be totally honest with each other?"

"Yes." Lily whispered, leaning her face into his hand indulgently.

"I was so scared down there."

Lily pushed her hair over one shoulder, "What?"

"You," he murmured, "when you were crying, on the floor. I was scared because _you_ were scared. I didn't know what to do, how to help you. I hated feeling useless."

Lily pulled her face from his hand and stared at him. James noticed her panic and pushed himself forward, placing his hand on her cheek again. His eyes were pleading her not to run. Lily was trapped under his kind stare, feeling despair spread in the pit of her stomach. James' eyes were searching hers, looking for answers. Lily didn't even know if she should give him answers.

He asked, his pinky tracing the curve of her jaw, "why won't you say anything?"

"No one can know." She managed hoarsely, "you won't tell anyone, right?"

James seemed even more disheartened, "you're acting like it's a crime, Lily."

"It basically is!" Lily said, leaning closer to him, "James no one would like me, for me, if they knew!"

"You're wrong." He said, eyes on fire.

Lily blinked rapidly at him, "What?"

"You're wrong." He tucked her chin, "I like you, for you."

"I lied, to everyone."

"I think you'll find most people understand why you lied," James said, "But I don't blame you for wanting to keep it a secret right now, considering what house you're in."

Lily frowned, "You heard what happened to Olivia Swift. They'd do something way worse to me after all these years."

James shook his head darkly, "How on earth have you managed to not beat all of them into a pulp yet, Evans?"

Lily gave a breathy laugh, "up until a few weeks ago, I had excellent self-control and preservation."

"What changed?"

"I met you." She said honestly and his gaze intensified, "I've never known a pureblood quite like you. I knew we weren't supposed to be friends but you, you are so brave and kind and thoughtful. I just want you to know who I am."

The tears were threatening to spill when the moment of truth echoed around them. She felt like there was an invisible barrier that had dropped between them. James looked at her like she was made of starlight.

"Lily Evans," he said, eyes dropping to her lips, "you are without a doubt, the biggest surprise of my life. I want you to know how proud I am of you, for having the courage to tell me."

Rogers had told Lily that it was the people who stayed, the people who were there and supported you, they were the people to trust. Lily had never trusted James more in her entire life. James' fingers played with a strand of her hair as if he were examining the color under the torchlight.

"I was scared you wouldn't want to be my friend." Lily confessed.

James' eyes shot back up to hers, "I don't want to be _just_ your friend."

Lily's lips partially opened in surprise at his blunt suggestion, "What?"

"I fancy you something awful." He said, "I have since the concert over the summer. I've been thinking about kissing you for days. When we dueled in class the other day, I left because I just kept imagining you—of us—something like this."

Lily didn't know what to say, she just sat there. She leaned closer and closer to him, his hazel eyes pulling her in.

"Is it okay that I said all that?" he whispered worriedly, "I'm sorry if it's too much too soon, I _really_ fancy you."

Lily fancied him too, she knew that. She knew it was wrong, that they could never really have it work. Not with him in Gryffindor and her in Slytherin. Not with Severus as her best friend and his feud with James as ongoing and endless as the war outside the castle walls. She tried not to think of the repercussions to her actions as the gap between them eventually shortened to less than a nose's length.

"I'm a mess." she said, eyes still red rimmed from her many fallen tears, "you don't want to get involved with a witch like me."

"I _definitely_ want to get involved with a witch like you."

"James," but it was helpless, one of his fingers traced her ear, tucking her hair behind it, "Me and you, it's a shot in the dark."

"I know it's asking for trouble." he said, his nose touching hers, "but I want you. All of you, even the Slytherin sides."

Lily's fingers reached up to touch his face wonderingly. He was serious, she could tell by the way his eyes smoldered at her through the dark. Lily couldn't get a single word out because she found her eyes closing as his lips pressed delicately against hers.

She should've yanked away from him, she should've said no, but that's not what she wanted to do. His hands were caught up in her hair, and he tried to pull back, he tried to make their first kiss end quickly. Lily tossed her arms around his shoulders and affixed her mouth against his with more enthusiasm.

James shared in her fervor almost instantly, tugging lightly on her head as his fingers wound more firmly in her hair. Lily's own hands traced up his jaw, through his hair and then down across his neck. James' lips were soft as they moved carefully against hers, resolute to read her body language. Lily tried not to react too fervently, but she felt lightheaded as James used his teeth to lightly pull at her bottom lip, encouraging her, tempting her.

All the weeks of pining and pacing, and patiently waiting for the chance to let go around James were paying off as she snogged him in the windowsill. She'd felt so cold after the incident in the dungeons that she thought she'd never be warm again, yet here she was, burning up in James' arms. James was more than happy to warm her up, by tugging her closer as his tongue swept quickly across the roof of her mouth. Time seemed to disappear while his hands had taken up residence on her hips. She sighed contentedly as her hands pushed through the curls on top of his head.

Lily hadn't snogged like this before, in fact, she refused to count anything she'd done before as kissing. She hoped she was kissing him back okay, not that he seemed bothered. James' lips left her mouth and he dragged them across her cheek, planting kisses along the skin there. Her blood was boiling as James lightly kissed across her jaw and his lips pressed against her earlobe as her arms loosened around his shoulders.

He pushed the hair out of her eyes when he lifted his face back up to hers.

"You've got no idea how long I've wanted to do that."

Shivers shot up her spine and she smiled gently. He pressed butterfly kisses on each and every corner of her face. He treated her like she hadn't lied to him, he treated her like he wanted nothing more than to kiss her until the world around them burned down.

"Why don't you hate me?" she whispered fretfully, her fingers tracing his lips thoughtfully.

"You aren't a bad person Lily Evans." He said into her fingers, lighting kissing them, "no matter what you clearly have been led to think."

"I've lied-"

"You didn't kill anyone right?"

"No."

"And you didn't hurt anyone on purpose, right?"

"No."

"Then what are you worried about?" James half laughed as he leaned forward to press his forehand against hers, closing his eyes, "We are all a mixture of our deepest fears and our favorite stories to tell at a party."

"I'm scared of everyone finding out the truth." She said, "I'm scared of losing everything."

"I understand." James leaned back and Lily opened her eyes to see him looking at her kindly, "But you don't understand how much you'll stand to gain by letting your guard down to the right people."

"You don't think I'm a coward?" she asked, "For wanting to hide from all of the hate?"

James shook his head, "no," he said firmly, "Absolutely not. Hell, Mary MacDonald once said she wished she'd lied when she started."

Lily swallowed guiltily, "I felt awful when I heard what Mulciber did to her."

"Bet you regretting shagging him, huh?" James tried to joke but he caught Lily off-guard.

"What?" she pulled away from him, "Where did that come from?"

"Sirius said Mulciber said you two had shagged a couple of times." James said, putting his hands up in defense, "It was a joke-out of line. I'm sorry."

Lily scrunched her nose up, "I never, ever, would have _ever_ shagged Mulciber!"

"I'm sorry." James seemed mortified and he ruffled his hair as he said bitterly, "That's—I mean—of course you wouldn't. I was just listening to Sirius and he doesn't—I mean, _Merlin_. I should've known Mulciber was lying."

"Damn right he was lying." She snapped irritably, "Why would he ever say that he shagged me? I hated him!"

"Who knows why Mulciber did anything." James said, trying to cool her down, "But if I ever see him again, I'm going to kill him."

"Not if I kill him first." Lily huffed and James chuckled, looking at her like she'd just said something cute.

"On second thought, I'll just watch you destroy him." James decided, "That'll be more fun."

Lily sighed as she stared at James, knowing she shouldn't hold him accountable for rumors. There was a time when she'd once thought James was something like Mulciber. Sirius and Severus were the same, both pushing at their mates to stay away from each other. It hadn't worked.

Lily scooted back over to James, her hand capturing his cheek, "You can't believe everything you hear. Especially about me. No one in this castle knows me. No one, except Severus—and now—you."

James smiled softly and turned his head to kiss her wrist, "Merlin only knows what Snape told you about me."

"Nothing I hadn't told you to your face for seven years." Lily giggled and James put an arm around her waist, pulling her even closer so that her knees were digging into his side.

James leaned in and kissed her again, slowly. Lily's hands brushed back into his hair, tugging him closer. She never wanted him to stop kissing her. He kissed her like they had forever, when in all reality they didn't have much time at all. She never wanted to leave the windowsill, for the fear that once he got back into the real world, he'd realize how bad a choice she was. Allowing James to continue kissing her in their dark little corner, only made Lily realize she'd gone too far this time.

"I like you," he whispered in-between soft, little kisses, "I don't care about blood status. I just care about _you_."

She was digging her own grave deeper and dragging James down with her, just so she would feel a little less lonely. Lily ripped herself from his arms, shaking her head. James seemed disappointed as she stood up and straightened her robes. He sat, on his knees, watching her take a few steps away from him. She was pulling her fingers through her hair, struggling to flatten it after his hands had made a mess of it.

"Please, stay." He beseeched, "I don't want you to leave yet."

She needed to go, she wanted to stay with him, but he wasn't hers to keep all night. Eventually, their friends would wonder where they'd gotten too. Eventually, they'd be found, and Lily didn't want anyone to ruin what she had with James. Not yet.

"I need to go back to the common room." Lily said, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"You can't possibly go in there, not around the people who've made you cry almost three weeks in a row!"

James seemed disgusted at the thought of Lily having to suffer. Lily felt another twinge of affection for the boy who looked ready to sort her out of Slytherin himself, just to get her to stay with him. As Lily stood there, smiling at him through the darkness, she imagined what it would've been like had she been Gryffindor.

They could've become friends much faster and they'd both probably be on the quidditch team. She could've fallen for him amongst the red and gold instead of in the shadowy hallways where they were now forced to remain, forever a secret.

"You don't have to go back if you don't want too, you can stay with me." he seemed to see her resolve wavering.

"I don't want to go, but I have too. You do too." Lily mourned and James stood up, striding over to her with a defiant look on his face, "James please, this," she gestured between them, "This isn't for the best."

"Why not? I think this," he motioned between them to mock her, "is the only thing that's keeping you stable."

"James," she begged anxiously as he collided with her again, pressing his hands into her sides and pressing his lips to hers.

"Stay." He begged into her mouth.

It took all of her will to separate herself from him once more and she shook her head as she started backing away from his impressive kissing. He was shaking his head at her, willing her to never go back to the dungeons ever again. She almost wished that could be reality…but it was naïve to think that way. She placed one finger on James' lips as he tried to speak again.

"No one has to know."

She leaned up on her tiptoes, pressing a kiss against his cheek. She waved goodbye to him before she turned on her heel and started back for the common room, desperate to bury herself under her covers with Juniper. As much as she would've liked to have joined James instead, she wasn't ready to break two big pieces of news to Severus, not yet.

Now, someone else knew about her secret and Severus wouldn't be happy once he found out who she'd confided in. But Rogers was right, Lily didn't even know why they still put on the show for everyone. It was probably because Severus figured it'd be easier to keep a secret than let the truth get out and have to explain to the other Slytherins who were so anti-muggleborn they'd never listen. Lily had to agree with Severus, it wasn't going to be easy, telling the truth but Lily couldn't keep her birthright to herself any longer.

The posters and banners were enough to prove that no matter how long Lily stayed hidden, things would only get worse as the war raged on. If Sirius Black, James Potter, and purebloods like them weren't safe from the purists then Lily certainly wouldn't be any safer as a half-blood.

Lily would have to tell everyone eventually and James was the first step. She knew it was a delicate subject and it might be too soon for her to come out and tell everyone the truth…but the longer she waited…the worse it got.

The next morning Lily took her tea with her to class, munching on a scone. She'd only gotten about four hours sleep and even that had been interrupted by Juniper's attempts to sit on Lily's face while she slept. Defense Against the Dark Arts was usually one of her favorite classes but Lily found nothing exciting about being stuck in a crowded room with silence filling her ears as she considered the stares James was sending her through the mass of student bodies. He was clearly concerned for her, she knew it, but she was afraid to get too close.

One of the reasons she'd been unable to sleep was because of how often her mind drifted to his smile, his laugh and most distractingly, his lips. Lily knew if she found herself next to him, she wouldn't be able to resist touching him in ways that she shouldn't.

Beside Lily, Severus paid attention but his eyes kept darting over to Lily, as if sensing her anxiety. He didn't know about anything that had happened, mostly because Lily didn't know how to tell him anything without the entire truth falling from her lips. Instead of telling him why she was quiet, she ignored his questions and tried to focus on Rogers' lecture. She was thankful class had given her, for now, a reason to stay wrapped up in her own head.

Still, class lectures didn't stop James from stealing glances at Lily that promised he wasn't finished with her, not yet.


	10. Delicate (Part 2)

_Chapter 10:_

_Long night, with your hands up in my hair_   
_Echoes of your footsteps on the stairs_   
_Stay here, honey, I don't wanna share_   
_'Cause I like you_

As soon as James managed to pull himself off the ledge of the windowsill where Lily had left him painted in a golden glow, James felt like he'd won the quidditch cup eight months early. He couldn't help but feel giddy, like a kid on Christmas. She'd overcome years of conditioning to tell James that she was muggleborn. She'd trusted him, over anyone else in the school, as her confidant. Lily trusted _him_. James didn't know what he'd done to earn her trust, but he'd done it. She trusted him to keep her secret until she was ready to tell other people.

On top of all that, she hadn't laughed when James confessed his feelings were more than platonic. Instead, she'd kissed him back under the windowsill, her hands gathered in his robes, in his hair, and in his heart.

James was on top of the fucking world.

He tried to keep his emotions in check, but the second James entered the seventh-year boys' dorm and his mates turned their eyes on him, it was over. Three sets of eyebrows raised to the ceiling, taking in James' red ears, his hair, and his smile.

"Are you drunk?" Sirius asked.

"Where have you been?" Peter demanded, like the parent of a teenager who'd snuck out all night.

"Did you go flying?" Remus' eyes were locked to the mess atop James' head.

James chuckled as he leaned up against the closed dorm door, "Can't get anything past you blokes, huh?"

"No." Peter agreed from his bed, "now where have you been?"

James grinned even wider, "snogging Evans."

A chorus of exclamations rose from his mates.

"Evans!?"

"Bloody hell."

James just shook his head, partly laughing, partly in disbelief. He never imagined that those words would ever be spoken out loud in anything but his dreams. And sure, she probably didn't want him telling his mates, but James couldn't help it, he was so happy.

"No wonder you look euphoric."

James just chortled, still on a high from kissing Lily. He ran his fingers through his hair as he walked across the room to settle into Remus' bed with Remus, kicking his feet up on the bedpost as he lay back beside the werewolf. Remus eyed James with a smirk, knowing James was fundamentally speechless from his rendezvous with Lily. Remus nudged James' shoulder as he fell back beside James.

"You're smitten."

"Don't encourage him, Moony." Sirius said, coming over from his bed to fall on top of James and Remus' legs, "or he'll start bringing her around for a snog in front of us."

"I can't do that." James said, suddenly miserable at the thought.

"Why not?" Peter asked.

"Because."

James bitterly thought of all the ways he wanted to hold her and kiss her but he couldn't do any of it, not unless they were behind closed doors. People would start to talk, something Lily was clearly trying to avoid. James didn't care, but since she did, he wanted to support her…even if he didn't like it.

"Was she a good snog?" Peter asked nosily as he took up residence at the end of Remus' bed.

"Look at him, Wormy," Sirius motioned to James' appearance, "His brain is turned to jelly."

"That doesn't mean she was a _good_ kiss." Peter said scathingly, "He could be in shock because it was bad."

Sirius poked Peter's side, "You think Evans is that bad at kissing?"

"How do you know she's _good_ at kissing?" Peter countered, "Been kissing Evans in your spare time?"

James kicked Sirius in the shoulder humorously, "got something to tell me, Padfoot?"

Sirius scoffed, "I'd never kiss someone like her."

James' face fell, and he sat up quickly, shaking his head, "don't say that."

Sirius' cool grey eyes narrowed, "What?"

James crossed his arms as Remus sat up beside James, "You were wrong about her. Wrong about everything."

"Expand upon, _everything_."

"She's way more Gryffindor than Slytherin."

"I'll need more than that, to convince me."

James wanted to tell his mates she was muggleborn…but he couldn't do that. Lily wouldn't understand and James wouldn't betray her trust on everything. James licked his lips as he tried to think of way to win Sirius over to Lily's side.

"She could be lying to you." Sirius reasoned when James said nothing, "Look at who she hangs around."

"She's _trapped_ in Slytherin." James snapped, jumping to Lily's defense, "You have absolutely no idea why she acts the way that she acts."

"And you do?" Sirius asked unkindly, "You kissed Evans, and all of a sudden you know her better than anyone? Better than Snape?"

_Yes._

"No," James said ardently, "But Sirius, she's not happy in Slytherin. She wants out."

Remus looked perplexed, "Why would Evans want out of Slytherin house? All her friends are in it."

James hated keeping something so big from the friends who he used to share everything with. If he could just tell them Lily was muggleborn, they'd all understand and support her.

"She hates how anti-muggleborn they are." James said, "She doesn't care about any of them."

"Snape." Remus, Peter and Sirius opposed simultaneously.

"I showed her what he did to me in second year."

"You took off your shirt?" Sirius roared a scathing laugh, "How heated was this snog?"

"It was _before_ we kissed." James said, red flushing back up his neck, "Evans wanted proof Snape was a bastard."

"And how did she react to this truth?" Sirius asked, eyes attentive.

James adjusted his glasses as he fell back against one of Remus' pillows, "she just said she's confused."

"Not much to be confused about." Sirius said, "He's a dark-magic loving git."

James agreed before divulging his Snape-Evans theory, "He's been manipulating her, I'm sure of it."

"How does one manipulate a witch like Evans?" Remus asked, falling back into the pillows with James, "She's rather sharp witted."

"Not to her friends." James said softly, thinking about the way she viewed at him when they were alone, "She's quite soft with her mates."

Sirius fell into James, his groan muffled by the sheets of the bed. James and Remus laughed as they both shifted so Sirius could fit between them. Peter leaned up against the posts of the bed, kicking his legs out as James reached out to ruffle Sirius' hair. The four boys were entirely too big to be squeezing onto one bed, but they'd been holding meetings on Remus' bed for years and it felt sacrilegious to talk anywhere else.

"Sirius, everyone in Slytherin had basically stopped talking to her." James said, "She's lonely."

"She's turning you into a sap." Sirius complained into the sheets, "you used to pray she'd fall off her broomstick and break her neck."

James smirked at the reminder, "I mean, come quidditch in November, I'll still be hoping she falls off her broom."

"Not a nice thing to say about the girl you just snogged." Peter commented.

"I'll be there to patch her back up after we win." James winked at Peter and next to James, Sirius groaned even louder.

"Why Evans?" Sirius turned her cheek so he could stare at James, "you really think she's okay?"

"She's more than okay," James promised his brother, before looking at Remus and Peter, "once you get to know her, you'll see it too."

Remus scratched his chin warily before saying, "but she's still friends with Snape?"

James shrugged, "I don't think she'll stop defending him until something bad happens."

"James." Remus rolled onto his stomach and put his face in his hands, "I don't dislike Evans but—"

"But?" James egged Remus on, "What's wrong Moony?"

Remus peered at James through his hands, "What if Snape's told her about me?"

James was brought back to a staircase and Lily asking strange questions that alluded she knew more about Remus than she was supposed to. Remus saw his face change and Remus became pallid, fear entering his eyes.

James took in a deep breath, "I already took care of that."

"What do you mean?" Sirius perked up, "What do you mean you 'took care' of it?"

James sighed deeply, "She asked about Remus, insinuated werewolf—"

"She knows!" Peter bellowed, outraged, "Snape told Evans?"

"That bastard!" Sirius snarled, sitting up, "he wasn't supposed too!"

"Hey!" James called out to his mates as Remus' face grew more and more fretful, "She figured it out on her own!"

Remus whipped his head back to James, "She did?"

"Hell, if she did it by herself. She had Snape's help." Sirius snarled, looking like he'd like nothing more than to rip Snape's head off, "No one else has figured it out!"

"We did it on our own." James reminded Sirius, "At twelve."

"We _lived_ with Remus."

"Lily noticed how Remus always asked for full moons off during Prefect rounds."

Sirius scowled, "And she asked you about it?"

"Yes," James reasoned, "But she didn't push it when I changed the subject."

"Doesn't mean that she won't tell anyone else." Remus muttered, playing with this sheets nervously, "what did she say exactly?"

"She just wanted to know if I'd noticed you always disappearing on full moons." James added quickly when Remus groaned, "I told her I asked for them off too, and she said she noticed that as well."

"Great." Remus said resentfully, "Now she probably thinks you're a werewolf too."

James haughtily stretched, "Well, I'd make a better werewolf than you."

Remus scoffed, and James was relieved to see Remus' smile slowly returning, "Bullocks."

"I'd be the best werewolf out of all of you." Sirius said as if it were obvious, "I'm the best looking."

"Beauty marks have got nothing to do with werewolf abilities." Remus said, stuffing Sirius' head back into the mattress playfully, "it's all about the primal drives."

"I've got enough primal drive for all of us," Peter snickered, patting his rotund belly.

James sniggered, punting Peter impishly, "I can still eat more pumpkin pasties than you in a sitting, Peter."

"James is right," Remus said, "He ate twenty cakes and you only managed sixteen before you barfed."

James mocked bowing and they all laughed as Peter complained about his 'unfair' competition.

"Where does it all go?" Peter exclaimed, motioning to James' lean body.

Sirius poked James' side, "it's because he doesn't eat red meat."

"Well that settles it then," Remus said, a playful glint in his eyes, "I'm the better werewolf by default. Prongs can't even digest meat."

"I'm a vegetarian werewolf."

"There's no such thing!" Remus argued, but he was laughing, clutching his stomach as James took to howling loudly at the ceiling, "Stop howling, you'll wake our neighbors! _James_!"

James kept howling and Sirius joined him. Remus raised his upper lip in an imitation of a snarl, before he jumped on top of Sirius and shoved Sirius' face into a pillow so his howl was muffled. James burst into laughter and fell off the bed.

The boys finished their night off with a round of exploding snap. Peter won, much to Sirius' displeasure, and the two fought it out as James and Remus got ready for bed. Remus watched as James set his glasses on his bed stand, seeming fascinated by something.

"Prongs?"

James smiled at his blurry friend, "Moony?"

Remus pulled his covers of his bed as he spoke, "why do you always have such faith in people? Even when they might have bad reputations…like a Slytherin…or a werewolf?"

James shrugged as he got into bed, "I'd would never want someone to feel unwanted just because society is wrong and tells them that they are."

"But Evans isn't unwanted." Remus murmured, "She's smart and capable. She made Head Girl."

"Outwards appearances mate," James reminded his friend, "Lily's in quite the same boat as you are."

Sirius spoke up from his bed, "Why do I get the feeling you're leaving something out from all this Evans business?"

James didn't look at Sirius on purpose as he turned out his light. James leaned back on his pillows and took a deep breath, thinking about how Lily had shared her secret with him. Even though James wanted to tell his mates everything about her, he knew it wasn't his place. Just like it wasn't his place to confirm Lily's questions about Remus. James rolled over before he answered Sirius' question with a question of his own.

"Would you care as much if she'd been a Gryffindor?"

Sirius' voice shot through the darkness, affection rippling on the edge of the words, "I don't want you to be hurt if she throws you away when Snape tells her to."

"I'm hers to keep." James said, "and I'm hers to lose, if she so chooses that road."

"You don't think she will?"

"Snape's been controlling the narrative for years," James replied, "this is the first time where he has no control."

"How so?"

"He can't control _me_."

It was true, James was almost certain that for whatever reason, Snape had talons dug so deep into Lily's heart that she couldn't see the blatant manipulation being done. James didn't care that Lily had been friends with Snape since they were kids, or that Snape kept her secret. James had a feeling that Snape kept her secret for his own benefit, not hers. James just didn't know how to tell Lily this without making her angry. She was already confused, he didn't want to add to her stress. He was determined to be her light in her starless night.

The next morning, James searched for Lily among the students in the Great Hall for breakfast but was disappointed when she didn't appear. He grew worried, until she appeared in Defense Against the Dark Arts with seconds to spare. As she crossed over the people already sitting on the floor, her eyes caught his and a faint smile grew on the corners of her mouth. No one noticed the way she kept her eyes on him for a few extra moments, her gaze transfixed. She settled next to Severus Snape, curling her knees up to her chest and turning herself to face her friend. She said something to Snape, and he leaned closer, lips moving swiftly.

Professor Rogers went over patronus spells as a steady rain hit against the windows of the classroom. Every once in a while, Lily's face would turn, and she'd meet his gaze. She was only a few bodies away from James, but he felt like she was a world away. She stared at her feet when she wasn't looking for him, her hair covering her beautiful face like a curtain.

When class ended and James crossed paths with her at the door, she finally held his gaze for longer than a few seconds.

"Morning, Lily."

"James."

James smiled at her as their shoulders brushed when they passed through the door and into the hallway. Her pinky slid along his hand as she left him, following Snape down the hallway dutifully. James' palm tingled where she'd touched him, like her touch was electric.

Sirius shook his head when he saw James' gaze following Lily down the hallway, "You've got it bad, mate."

"I wish she'd drop him." James muttered, talking about Snape.

Remus slid next to James, "they've been friends for a decade, James."

"My mum gave me life and I still ditched her." Sirius commented slyly as the boys began their trek to potions class.

"I thought telling her about second year would change her mind." James complained, "What's it going to take for her to wake up and realize Snape's a piece of shit?"

"You said it yourself." Peter shifted his bag over his shoulder, "Snape's kept himself tame around Evans…she probably doesn't understand how he could hurt you. She probably doesn't think it was actually dark magic…but he won't be able to keep his hobbies from her forever."

"Peter's right." Sirius said, "if Evans is really starting to learn the truth, she won't be able to defend Snape when he does something stupid."

"Yeah but how long will I have to wait for Lily to catch Snape doing something sketchy?" James skipped the steps on the staircase, thinking of all the times Snape had proven his distaste for people of Lily's birth.

It didn't make sense to James, he just didn't get how Snape could hate muggleborns and yet fiercely defend Lily. He was a hypocrite for calling Mary MacDonald a mudblood only to turn around and mollycoddle Lily like a child. Snape had to have a motive for his actions around Lily. He was so different when she wasn't around, and James was worried he'd never slip up and she'd never come to see how manipulative Snape is.

James spent the whole day after their first kiss, wanting nothing more than to pull Lily away from the crowds and into the shadows of the hallways. Instead, he was forced to share secret moments with her amongst the crowded hallways. By Transfiguration, James was debating making up an excuse to pull her from Snape's guard-dog stare. Luckily, Professor McGonagall asked both of them to stay after class, giving James a real excuse.

Everyone leaving in the classroom for lunch watched as James and Lily met in the middle of the class to walk to McGonagall's desk together. Snape was glaring at James with every bit of dislike as he walked to the door, away from Lily. Lily smiled up at James, the corners of her eyes crinkling.

"Hello." He said softly, "How are you today?"

"Better now."

It was the closest he'd gotten to Lily in hours. He dropped one of his hands to his side as they walked up to Professor McGonagall's desk. Her hand dropped too, and her fingers danced on the inside of his palm for a moment before she drew her hand back. James swallowed thickly, trying not to automatically draw her hand into his permanently as they came to a stop in front of the transfiguration professor.

McGonagall cut right to the chase, "Professor Rogers informed me that the two of you found more anti Muggleborn propaganda."

"Yes." James spoke up quickly so Lily wouldn't have too, "it was down near the fifth-year potions classroom."

Lily shifted uncomfortably next to James and he glanced down to see that she was tucking her head to the floor. A sharp red flare had risen on her cheeks. James let his fingers brush across her palm, reminding her that he was there for her. Professor McGonagall turned her eyes to Lily.

"I know it must've been hard on you, Evans." McGonagall said, "especially being the only muggleborn left in Slytherin house."

Lily's head shot up, eyes round, "It's fine." She yelped, "I'm fine."

James watched as Lily glanced behind her shoulder, likely checking to make sure they were the only ones in the classroom. It was obvious she still didn't want to tell everyone she'd been lying. James pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose as his gaze returned to Professor McGonagall.

"We have a Prefects meeting tonight." James told McGonagall, "I was planning on addressing the posters."

"I want you to remind the prefects that should they find anymore posters, they're to report them immediately."

"Yes Professor." James nodded, glancing sideways at Lily, "But we think it's the Slytherin house."

McGonagall leaned forward in her seat, "While Slytherin has a number of people with pureblood names, you both mustn't assume it's one of them. There are plenty of people like them in the other houses."

Lily shifted beside James again and she spoke up, "the posters went up in the Slytherin dorms, first, Professor."

McGonagall straightened her brooch absentmindedly, "I'm aware." She placed a hand on her desk for emphasis, "but I'm not so sure this is being orchestrated by just one person."

"You think multiple students are trying to scare muggleborns with these posters?" Lily asked.

James personally agreed with Professor McGonagall, "someone had to have started the idea Lily…"

"Where there's one instigator, there's five more of his personal clowns playing on the sidelines." McGonagall told Lily, "I have no doubt that multiple people know who is orchestrating the posters, and they are all keeping it a secret."

"And if the prefects catch someone?" James asked Professor McGonagall, "What if Lily and I catch the culprit?"

"Do not try to fight them. Figure out who they are and then go straight for a teacher." McGonagall glanced at Lily, "confronting someone like that could be dangerous to people like you, Miss Evans."

Lily nodded rigidly. Professor McGonagall dismissed them. Lily turned to start walking up the aisle to the classroom door. James followed, his fingers hooking on the back of her robes. She glanced back at him, her green eyes cutting him deep with their melancholy.

"Do all the teachers know your blood status?" he asked under his breath.

"No." Lily said as they reached the classroom door, "McGonagall only knows because she's the one who delivered my Hogwarts letter. She explained everything to my parents."

"And Rogers knows." James counted off in his head, "Right?"

Lily nodded, "Rogers saw my student files."

James opened his mouth to say something else but the minute they walked out of the doorway, Snape was there. James resisted the urge to groan, Snape really was obnoxious. James just wanted _one_ second alone with Lily.

"Aren't you supposed to be in Care of Magical Creatures?" Lily asked her friend, surprise littering her voice as Snape sauntered up to them from the opposite end of the hall.

"I skipped," Snap said dully, "What'd McGonagall want?"

Lily shot a glance back at James as he closed the door to the classroom before she turned back to Snape, "it was because of those posters, the anti-muggleborn ones."

"Yeah," James said, shoving his hands into his pockets and shooting Snape a disdainful look, "Have any idea who'd be putting those up Snivellus?"

Snape shot James a glare, "why would I know that, Potter?"

"Don't know." James said, "just seems like you'd know all the people who'd love to run muggleborns from the school."

"Fuck off, Potter." Snape spat before grabbing Lily's wrist and tugging her forward, "Come on, Lily."

Lily pulled against Snape's grasp, shooting James a yearning stare as Snape dragged her away from him. She turned back to Snape and her voice carried down the corridor.

"I _told_ you to talk to the other Slytherins about the posters."

"Lily, not now." Snape sounded furious.

"Yes, now!" Lily ripped her hand from Snape's grasp, "Sev, those posters are getting worse and worse!"

"I talked to them!" Snape swore, defending himself, "none of them are putting the posters up. I swear!"

"Then who is?"

Lily's cold tone was the last thing James heard before Snape and Lily turned the corner. James shook his head, utterly puzzled by Snape and Lily's relationship. Disappointed that his conversation with Lily had been drawn short by Snape's appearance, James was thankful that the prefects meeting would give him ample amounts of time with Lily. Time where Snape couldn't barge in and drag her away.

James spent his free time getting the detention list to Professor Flitwick, who was holding detention that night with Lily. Once he was done that, there were only thirty minutes between him and dinner. James met his mates for dinner before heading to the prefect's common office.

James got to the Prefect's common area, which was not too far from the Head office, before Lily. He wasted time by lighting the roaring fireplace and setting out the prefect time-tables at each chair lined up beside a giant oak table. Slowly, prefects started appearing. Remus was the first Gryffindor prefect to appear and he sat down at the head of the table, checking out the time-table as more prefects took their seats.

Lily appeared just in time. She was wearing her quidditch uniform and James couldn't resist letting his eyes drag down the green and silver leggings that hugged her curves. She was red in the face, suggesting she'd run to the meeting from the quidditch field. A few of her teammates, also prefects, entered behind their captain. The Slytherins all took seats near the door, as if they couldn't wait for the meeting to be over.

Lily smiled as she came to stand beside James. She held out her hand so that James could pass her the large book meant for notes. She always took notes for the meetings, since James' handwriting was more like chicken scratch. James cleared his throat and the rumbling sounds of prefect chatter dulled as many sets of eyes came to rest on James and Lily.

"Hello everyone." James said, eyes tracing over the prefects carefully, "Lily and I would like to thank you for taking the time to come to the meeting."

"Are these November time-sheets?" Shawn Abbot asked loudly near the end of the table, waving her paper in the air, "Because I've got rounds on a weekend!"

Lily looked up from her book and said curtly, "James and I will hear about scheduling complaints after this meeting has adjourned."

Abbot sunk in her seat and crossed her arms like a child that had been reprimanded. James cleared his throat again and adjusted his frames carefully.

"Anyways," he said, "By now I'm sure most of you are aware of the anti-muggleborn posters being placed around school."

There was a chorus of acknowledgement by the prefects. Some of the prefects perked up at the mention of the posters, looking intrigued.

"Did we catch the bigots?" Kari Rootling spoke up eagerly, her brown eyes hopeful.

"No," James admitted and there were a few upset sighs, "Lily and I found another yesterday, this time in the dungeons."

"Fucking Slytherins." Kip Gansley hissed, rolling his eyes as he kicked his feet onto the table carelessly.

Lily shot Gansley a glare over her book, clearly annoyed. James wondered if she'd always had problems with Gansley. He certainly seemed to like making Lily's job harder.

"I'm just saying that we all know it's Slytherin putting the posters up."

"No one asked for your opinion Gansley." James said sourly, "Get your giant clown feet off the table and sit properly."

Other prefects chuckled and Gansley mocked James but pulled his feet down back to the floor. Lily nudged her ankle against James' and when James looked down at her, there was a twinkle in her eyes. James beamed at her, stepping so that their sides brushed playfully. Gansley's eyes fell on Lily, who was sending James a warning look.

"All I'm saying," Gansley continued shrewdly, "is that if the posters are only put up around Slytherins, then it's pretty obvious who's putting them up."

"Gansley," James warned, on his last string with the Ravenclaw prefect, "Shut your fat mouth or I'll do it for you."

"Notice how Evans has been quite since this meeting started." Gansley's eyes didn't leave Lily.

"Wait," Lily looked up from her notes offensively, "why are you looking at me?"

"You're the one who keeps miraculously finding these posters." Gansley commented, "Rumor has it you were there when that muggleborn got chased out of your house."

"You think _I'm_ putting the posters up?!" Lily coughed, danger flashing in her eyes.

Gansley shrugged, "If the snake skin fits, Evans."

"That's it." James whipped out his wand and pointed it at Gansley's stupid face, "Get out, Gansley."

"I dare you to jinx me, Potter." He said snottily, "I'd love an excuse to take points from your bullish arse and then go right to Dumbledore."

James raised his wand arm, but Lily yanked it back down with surprising force. James looked down at her, offended that she'd stop him from turning Gansley into a boil covered brute. Only feet away, James heard Remus say James' name in soft warning. They didn't want him fighting Gansley but fighting Gansley seemed like the best option to James.

Gansley laughed darkly as he saw Lily control James' wand arm, "I knew you didn't have the guts."

Lily said, somewhat hysterically, from beside James, "Gansley, you're in detention tonight! One more word and _I'll_ go to Dumbledore!"

"What?" Gansley jumped up from his chair, glaring down the table at Lily, "you can't put me in detention for stating my opinion, Evans!"

"I'm about to let James curse you for that opinion, if you don't sit down!" Lily snapped back at Gansley irritably, "And I know that you know, James is an expert dueler."

" _Expert_." Gansley scoffed, but he noticeably sat back down.

"I want to make this very clear." Lily's voice was clear and firm as she placed the book down so she could lecture the prefects as James sheepishly stuffed his wand away while glaring at Gansley. James was only partially aware of the words tumbling from Lily's mouth, he was too busy imagining feeding Gansley to the giant squid.

"Hogwarts has a zero-tolerance policy on anti-muggleborn flyers." Lily's voice was shaking with anger, "as the student leadership you have a duty to represent every person in these halls, pureblood or not. If you have a problem representing the minorities then hand in your prefect badge because James and I will not tolerate intolerance under our leadership."

"That's rich coming from a Slytherin."

Lily turned her cool green eyes on the Ravenclaw who'd spoken and the blue robed witch automatically looked as if she regretted speaking, "I might be a Slytherin," Lily said, "But my house doesn't define me."

James smiled down at Lily, proudly, knowing how hard it must be for her to stand up to the indifferences. James reached out and squeezed Lily's shoulder. Lily tore her eyes from the prefects and caught James' gaze. A flush raced across her cheeks in response to his affectionate gaze. She quickly picked up her book and pretended to write again.

"Anyways," James' voice cracked as he turned back to the prefects, "Hogsmede is in six days."

Excitement suddenly bussed through the group, replacing the shock. Two Hufflepuff's hugged each other excitedly and smiles appeared on nearly everyone's faces. James couldn't help smiling either.

"We've split up rounds that day," James continued, "Everyone will have rounds for one hour that day, either here at the castle or down in Hogsmede. Do not forget to show up and replace the students on the patrol before you. Everyone should have enough time to have fun and report for one hour of patrols. Please let Lily or I know if there's a reason you need to work a particular hour. We'll cover for you, if it's imperative."

A fifth year Gryffindor raised her hand, "What if we aren't on this list?"

"That means that you'll be working later that night." James explained, "so your patrols will be normal hours."

"Can we trade?" a Ravenclaw spoke up, "If we want normal patrols?"

"Yes," James said, "but you need to change it officially with Lily or I."

"Also," Lily spoke up over her notebook, "if you've never done patrols on Hogsmede days, please ask for help from a veteran prefect."

James nodded his agreement, "Lily is right, Hogsmede days are hectic and we don't want anyone getting into trouble. Lupin, Gansley, Abbot, Lucien, Markus, Price, Peirce, and Smith are your senior Prefects."

"You make me sound old." Remus sniggered from his seat and a few other seventh year prefects agreed.

"You did complain about a grey hair just last week." James quipped playfully at his best friend.

All the prefects laughed, even Gansley. Lily whistled for attention, but she had a ghost of a smile on her lips as she addressed everyone.

"If you see something, say something." Lily looked older than seventeen as she warned the students, "There will be Aurors from the Ministry patrolling the streets."

A timid fifth year raised his hand, "Pardon, but why are there Aurors in Hogsmede?"

"Ever heard of Death Eaters?" Slytherin prefect Rosier snarled obnoxiously to the timid fifth year.

"Enough, Rosier." James snapped at the Slytherin who sent James a nasty look, "There won't be Death Eaters in Hogsmede. Don't scare the kid."

"Ever seen a Death Eater, Potter?" Rosier asked, pointed face challenging James.

"I reckon I'm looking at one right now."

Everyone at the table either burst into a fit of giggles or hitched their breath.

Rosier shot James a disgusted look, "Go snog a mudblood, blood traitor."

"Detention, Rosier." James shot back snottily, "for being an insufferable git."

Gansley, who was still sour, muttered, "just throwing detentions out tonight to everyone, aren't we?"

Lily, who looked to be at her wits end said very loudly, "This meeting is over, let James or I know if you have any problems."

Most students high-tailed it out of the room, not wanting to stick around for any dueling that might've happened. Remus stayed put, his wand drawn protectively, eyes zeroed in on Rosier. Rosier was wearing his quidditch robes too, but unlike Lily, the colors against his skin made him look foolish. Rosier's cool eyes traced over James and Remus, who were ready to duel.

"You'd be a waste of my time to duel." Rosier snarled, whipping around to leave.

"Don't be late for detention!" Lily called after Rosier, "it's in the charms classroom! Seven!"

"Whatever Evans." Rosier snarled as he made it to the door.

Gansley shot James and Lily his own look, "you two are, without a doubt, the worst Head Boy and Girl this school has ever seen."

"Gee, Gansley." Lily said moodily, "Thanks for that unsolicited feedback."

James, so taken aback by the amount of sarcasm dripping from Lily's mouth, laughed and tried to turn the laugh into a cough. Instead, he ended up doubled over while Remus' smacked his back to try and get James to stop choking on his own laugh. Beside James, Lily's green eyes were sparkling with her own humor. Gansley stood up from his chair and pushed it in so hard that the chair cracked against the table.

"I'm not going to detention," Gansley said moodily, "I shouldn't be punished for pointing out _facts_."

Remus was the one to jump to Lily's defense, "Lily was devastated when that muggleborn got sent home, Gansley. She didn't put up those posters and it was wrong to accuse her. I think you're just still mad because James got Head Boy, and you didn't so you're taking it out on both of them."

James stopped laughing to stand upright and clap Remus on the back. Remus didn't acknowledge James; his eyes were still on Gansley. Gansley looked between James, Lily and Remus. He seemed confused, almost thoughtful.

"Why do they protect you now?" Gansley spat at Lily, looking pointedly at Remus and James, "you playing with Gryffindors now?"

"We're her friends." Remus said and Lily looked at Remus in disbelief, her mouth partially open, "and I don't particularly like when my friends are accused of prejudice."

"She's a Slytherin who only snogs purebloods."

"Funny," Lily crossed her arms, "Because I snogged you once, and you aren't a pureblood."

James turned to stare at Lily, "You kissed _Gansley_?"

Lily and Gansley ignored James but Remus looked amused by something in James' expression. Lily took a step closer to Gansley, "you can't honestly think I'd actually make all those posters?"

Gansley's eyes shot to Lily, "I didn't come up with that theory, Evans."

"Then who did?"

"Lots of people don't trust your little pro-muggelborn acts." Gansley said, "look at who your friends are, look at all the blokes you've shagged. Pureblood Slytherins, every one of them. _Everyone_ sees you for the snake you are Evans."

James honestly didn't know how it happened. One second, he was standing next to Remus and the next, he'd lunged for Gansley, sliding across the table until his fist connected with the side of Gansley's face. Gansley shouted out as they tumbled to the floor. James' knee dug into Gansley's side as Gansley wrestled James, trying to throw him off. James wasn't aware of Lily and Remus shouting because his ears were ringing as Gansley's own fist connected with James' face.

James' glasses broke in half from Gansley's punch. Blood streamed into James' mouth from his nose. All of a sudden, James was hanging upside down by his ankle. Gansley was in the air next to him, snarling and trying to reach James. James struggled to keep his robes above his knees as he realized that Lily and Remus had been the ones to separate Gansley from James.

"Detention, both of you." Lily said, her voice low, "And fifteen points from Ravenclaw, Gansley."

Lily swept out of the prefect commons, not even bothering to undo her curse. Remus stood facing both boys, arms crossed, as blood from James' broken nose hit the stone floor.

"Let me down, Lupin." Gansley said, wiggling in his hold, "I want to strangle Potter."

"No," Remus said casually, leaning against the table, "I think I'll leave the both of you like this, so you can think about what you've done."

"Potter hit me!" Gansley complained.

"For spreading false rumors!" James snarled, "Evans isn't friends with any of those bastards in Slytherin."

Gansley had the nerve to laugh at James.

"Remus," James moaned, the blood now falling into his hair and eyes, "My nose."

Remus waved his wand and James called out, as his nose was magically readjusted. The blood stopped, but that didn't do anything to help the blood that had already stained James' face and the floor. Remus sat on the edge of the table, assessing James and Gansley.

"I know you two have never been fond of each other." Remus said carefully, "But fighting each other every time you come into prefect meetings isn't setting a good example for younger students."

James protested, "Gansley was being a prat to Lily!"

"What's it matter? Don't you hate her anyways?" Gansley said, "She can't stand you, complained regularly on her patrols the last three years about how arrogant and insufferable you are."

The blood was rushing to James' head, making him even angrier, "Fuck off, she does not."

"You think she actually _likes_ you?" Gansley snorted, "Potter, she's friends with all the blokes who'd love nothing more than for you and your blood traitor family to die out."

"My family aren't blood traitors." James snarled, "and if you ever say that around me again—"

Remus interrupted James, directing his comment at Gansley, "where did you hear that Evans was the one putting the posters up?"

Gansley turned his head to Remus, "I heard Nicole Smith saw Evans do it."

Remus' eyebrows shot up into his hairline, "What?"

"She can't have." James quarreled, "I was with Lily when we found the one last night, Gansley."

"Nicole said Evans was by the Quidditch Pitch." Gansley swore, "She's probably working with the other Slytherins and only pretends to care about muggleborns to throw people off her trail."

James shook his head, "No," he determined, "She wouldn't do that."

"Why would I lie?" Gansley said, "Why would Nicole Smith lie?"

"Smith probably saw Lily taking them down." Remus stuck up for Lily, "Not putting them up."

Gansley huffed, "Listen, I'm just telling you what everyone else thinks."

"Well everyone else is _wrong_." James said.

Gansley glared at James, "why on earth do you trust a Slytherin so much?" he asked, "you've always hated the Slytherins, everyone knows you detest them."

James clamped his mouth shut and didn't answer Gansley. Instead, James focused on what Gansley had said about Lily's reputation among her classmates. Everyone thought she was the one putting the posters up and James couldn't believe how quickly rumors flew through the Hogwarts halls. Lily was probably off crying and James was stuck in an ankle hold for sticking up for her.

Remus was true to his word and took both James and Gansley to the detention room. Everyone turned to stare as James fell into one of the desks near the front of the classroom. His face and hair were still covered in blood. The Ravenclaw that James sat near, scooted his desk away from James fearfully.

"Who fucked you up so nicely, Potter?" Rosier called from the back of the classroom next to Gansley, "I'll have to thank them!"

James turned in his seat and shouted across the classroom, "Come over here and let me give you a shiner to match, Rosier!"

"That's enough!"

Professor Flitwick, the tiny charms professor, appeared at the front of the classroom. Beside Flitwick, stood Lily, who was staring at James. Flitwick called role, adding James and Gansley to the detention list with a little roll of his eyes. Lily sat beside Flitwick, helping observe the detention. It was an hour of silence and writing. James had been given the task to grade first year papers on the Goblin rebellion. It was absolutely, positively, one of the most boring detentions James had ever served.

By the end of the night, James was cramped in his left hand and the blood on his face was uncomfortable. Flitwick dismissed everyone and most of the students rushed out of the classroom quickly to try and make it to grab more dinner before curfew. James stayed behind with Lily and Flitwick, helping them collect up the graded papers and items used in detention. Lily smiled at James from across the room at one point and his heart skipped a beat as he smiled back.

He never wanted to see her smile fade.

Once they were done cleaning up, Flitwick waddled out of the classroom with papers stacked high on his head. He left Lily and James with the task of locking the classroom up. When the door closed behind Flitwick, Lily and James stayed put in the classroom. It was the first time they'd been alone since their kiss and a lot had already happened.

James watched as Lily lifted her hand, tracing his face.

"I don't think I've ever seen you without glasses." Her voice was soft, kind.

James leaned into her touch, "I bet it looks really weird, considering all the blood."

Her lips lifted a bit, "You didn't have to hit Gansley."

"I did, though." James argued, "You aren't what everyone thinks."

Lily's kind face was pulled taunt as she examined him closely. James watched as Lily pulled her wand from her robes. The tip of her wand replaced her fingers on his face, and he felt magic strip the blood from his face. Lily's eyes were engrossed as she turned his face back to its normal color, no longer dark red from the dried blood. James pulled his glasses from his pocket, placing them on his clean face. The frames were a little lopsided, but Remus hadn't done a horrible job in repairing them after Gansley broke them.

"Thank you for coming to detention." Lily said as she tucked her wand back into her pocket, "I didn't want Gansley to think I'd be favoring you if I only took points."

"I deserved it, I get it." James rolled his eyes, "but I don't regret punching him, one bit."

Lily shook her head as she looked up at him tenderly, "I could've handled Gansley myself."

James adjusted his glasses frustrated, "I can't believe you kissed him."

She bit her lip to try and hold back a smile, "Are you jealous?"

"Maybe."

"You are!"

"I know." James said, dropping his shoulders, "I just—he's always been prattish towards you."

"He's been bitter ever since I told him that I just wanted to be friends." Lily grinned, "Sev threatened to tie him up in the dungeons if he ever asked me out again."

"I'd actually help Snape." James said, "Gansley's right up there with Mulciber."

Lily played with her hair, "I was so shocked when you told me what Sirius said about—well I mean I just thought it was some weird rumor—but when Gansley said it too…I'm starting to wonder if I'd missed something about Mulciber."

James tilted his head at her, "You think Mulciber was telling everyone he shagged you?"

"He was my first kiss." Lily admitted, rather acidly.

James pulled a face, "He was _what_?"

"My first kiss." Lily said, looking as disgusted as James felt, "I didn't ask him to be. He just did it."

James shook his head, brushing his hand across her cheek, "I hate every single Slytherin in your house."

"I'm not a fan of them right now either."

"I've got a list of names and Mulciber's is in red _and_ underlined." James took a step forward, entangling his fingers amongst hers, "thank Merlin he wasn't your first shag, too."

Lily's eyes shot back up to James, "Oh. Um. I've never, I mean, I don't think…" Her cheeks were as red as a cherry tomato, "James, I've never been with _anyone_ like that."

James was surprised, "Oh," he felt a bit sheepish, "Sorry, I just—I assumed."

"No, it's okay." Lily squeezed his hand, "Merlin knows, the rumors Mulciber apparently spread didn't help with _that_ status."

James tried to ease the subject, "well, Mulciber was always a bit twisted when it came to girls. Look at Mary Macdonald."

"Yeah," Lily said coolly, "He definitely likes to force himself onto muggleborns."

"He didn't know about you being muggleborn, right?"

Lily shook her head, "Absolutely not."

James grumbled bitterly, "I'd give anything to toss Mulciber off the highest tower in this castle."

"Premeditated murder?" Lily quirked a brow at him, "Why not just punch him like you did to Gansley?"

"I'd make sure Mulciber's injuries were a little more notable." He said, "he's messed with too many people I care about."

Lily took another step closer to him, her green eyes bright, "I wish you'd been my first kiss."

James snickered and leaned down closer to her, "I don't." he said, "I needed a lot of practice."

"You're the best kiss I've ever had."

James swooped forward and pressed his lips to hers smoothly. Lily smiled against his mouth and leaned into his kiss. James maneuvered them, his body pressed into hers, making Lily step back into the stone wall beside the door. Lily didn't seem to mind. In fact, her fingers pressed to either side of his face, holding him in place. James relished in the way she kissed him. She started with a teasing pull at his bottom lip. Then, Lily's fingers traced the planes of his face as she tilted her head to deepen the kiss. James felt like every nerve ending in his body was on fire as he reached around her waist. She opened her mouth against his keenly, drawing his lips open with a stroke of tongue.

James' fell into her kiss, completely lost in her touch. She explored his mouth, each kiss one step closer to rendering him star struck. He purposefully nipped at her bottom lip before she pulled away to beam at him. Her mollified smirk only increased his desire to continue kissing her in the abandoned charms classroom. His hands became tangled up in her hair as they returned to kissing against the wall. Her hands had taken up residence on his shoulders and neck, her fingers digging into his skin when his mouth trailed away from her lips. When James' lips started pressing hot kisses all over her neck, her left hand took hold in his curls.

James hadn't snogged a girl in a while, at least not like this, and he was worried she wasn't enjoying it. She hadn't said anything or even sighed like other girls did when James kissed them, but when James brought his lips back to Lily's mouth, her fingernails pressed gently into his scalp and a pleased hum passed between them. James nipped her lower lip appreciatively before resuming his attentiveness to kissing her.

One of Lily's hands fisted into his robes, pulling him down farther. James hated their robes. He wanted to feel her skin as they kissed under the classroom's dim lighting. He wanted his fingers to explore beyond the fabric, underneath, where she was burning up for him.

When she let go, she pulled back to examine his dizzy expression. James felt like his heart was racing as they both met halfway for another kiss. He tried to taste every corner of her mouth, pressing her into the wall fervently, never wanting to leave the classroom. Lily was using the wall for support now, her hands tangled up in his hair as she stood on her tiptoes. He wouldn't have stopped kissing her, couldn't have stopped kissing her, until the door handle jiggled. Lily practically shoved James off her as the door opened next to them. They both sheepishly stood feet apart from each other. Lily had one hand covering her mouth, as if she was trying to keep her breathing quiet.

Flitwick came through the door, he hadn't realized they were there yet. He was reading out of a book, walking to the front of the classroom. Lily danced around James, taking his hand and dragging him into the hallway before Flitwick's door could close and leave them to explain their flashed faces and messy hair to Flitwick. They both began laughing loudly as they raced down the hall together. The euphoric feeling of freedom followed the teenagers as they stumbled to the main staircase.

That's where Severus Snape emerged, taken aback when he saw James and Lily running hand-in-hand down the hallway. Lily came to a skidding halt at the edge of the staircase. James almost ran into her, still breathing heavily from their kissing and running. Snape looked between them, black eyes analyzing everything from their red faces to their labored breathing.

"Sev!" Lily's voice was back to its higher bell-like tone, "Hi!"

Sev's eyes dropped to where Lily's hand, held James' hand. Lily looked down, noted their entwinned hands, and ripped her grasp from James' so that they were no longer connected. Lily tried hurriedly to flatten her hair.

"Detention ended a while ago." Snape said, "I was looking for you."

"Sorry," Lily waved her hand, trying to look nonchalant, "James and I were helping Flitwick with some grading."

"Yeah," James added, voice cracking as he got his breath back, "There were a lot of papers to grade."

Lily's green eyes were shining brilliantly at James when she glanced at him appreciatively, "See you tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow." James nodded, his own hand going to ruffle his curls nervously.

"Bye, James." She shared a secret smile with him as she took Sev's hand and led him back down the main staircase.

James watched her go, aware now that he never wanted to live another day without being able to kiss Lily Evans.

Of course, quidditch practices had Lily and James only crossing paths enough to smile, maybe a quick touch to the hands. James was jumping at the bit to talk to her, but she was surrounded by a sea of green robes. Severus Snape was keeping an annoying close eye on her. It was as if he knew she was starting to drift from his grasp and sail right into James' waiting arms.

James wasn't alone with Lily again until Friday when she met him after Gryffindor's quidditch practice. She'd taken James by surprise underneath the bleachers when he'd been on the way back to the castle after locking up broomsticks. She'd appeared out of nowhere and dragged him into the boxed stands where they fell into each other greedily.

"Snape didn't want to join you?" he asked as she pulled him by his shirt for a kiss.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"He hasn't let you out of his sight since detention."

There was a playful glint in her green eyes, "He's probably worried we're snogging."

James laughed into her mouth and she bit down on his lip scathingly. Most of the wintery air was blocked by the boxed walls but Lily's fingers were still freezing as they buried in his hair, pulling him closer. Kissing her warmed him up, especially when their bodies slid to the floor of the box. James felt like he was in heaven as she straddled him and drunkenly pressed her lips along the line of his jaw.

"You're absolutely lethal." He closed his eyes as she swirled her tongue against his skin, "did you come out here to kill me, so that we won't have to play each other in a few days?"

"No," she said into his skin, "I came out here because I missed seeing you outside of my dreams."

James grabbed her face, so she was forced to stop kissing his skin and look at him, "you dreamed about me, Evans?" he asked coyly.

"Prat," One of Lily's hands left his hair so she could hit his chest, but her smile gave away her affection, "I dreamed you lost the quidditch cup."

"Great." James rolled his eyes, "so you came here to gloat?"

"Yes." She leaned her forehead against him, "But even though you lost, you were still charming."

James reached up to brush her hair from her eyes, "Did I forgive you for stealing the cup from me?"

"You did." She said ominously, clearly leaving something out.

"Sounds unrealistic." He commented dryly, pretending to be unamused by her fantasies.

Lily laughed and pressed her hips lower so that James hitched a breath, "You forgave me, kissed me..." she hesitated a moment before she whispered, "took me to...to your room…"

She was above him, glowing golden from the winter sunlight streaming in over their heads. James, in that moment, was certain he'd met his match in a woman. He'd given anything to stop time and stay in this exact moment forever. Her hair was falling forward, creating a curtain around their faces as she laughed at his dazed expression, rather pleased that she'd rendered him speechless.

"Evans." He finally sighed, leaning up to press his lips to hers for a chaste kiss, "don't play games with me, why did you really come out here?"

"I'm not playing games with you." She muttered when he pulled back again, "If I were, I wouldn't be snogging you after Gryffindor quidditch practice."

"What would you be doing?"

She winked, "snogging you _during_ quidditch practice so that your team members would murder you for fraternizing with the enemy."

"That's a flawed plan." James disagreed.

"Is it?"

"Yeah, because your team would kill you too."

"I like this much better." She hummed.

"Me too."

He kissed her gratefully, wondering what miracle had brought her into his life. She kissed him back, but she didn't let the kiss last long. She drew back, pressing her forehead to his. She made him feel like he was flying, even without a broomstick.

"You make me so happy." She declared, her eyes searching his like he held the answers to the meaning of life, "do you know that?"

"I make you happy?"

She nodded, her face glowing, "I don't think I've ever felt like this before." She said, "You make me feel so safe. When I'm with you, I don't feel quite as alone."

"Is that why you showed up here?" He asked wonderingly, "You were lonely?"

She tried to keep her face passive, but James saw the insecurity hidden among her features. He knew she was lonely, even if she wouldn't admit it.

She wrinkled her nose at him, she knew he loved it, "I was actually trying to steal all of Gryffindor's new plays."

"No." James pinched her.

"Yes." But she was laughing, her eyes crinkling at the edges.

"You've been using me this whole time!" He pretended to be shocked, "Snake!"

She leaned down and nipped his lower lip good-humoredly, "whatever you say Gryffindor."

They sat in silence, Lily's fingers tracing his face as if she were memorizing it down to the last sharp edge. He wished she didn't have to feel so alone, that she had more friends. James decided then that he was going to introduce her to a few other muggleborns, people she could connect with. He knew Mary MacDonald was a good person, she wouldn't scorn Lily just for her house. James could introduce them before Hogsmede…maybe they could go together since James couldn't go with her.

Snape would have a conniption if Lily went to Hogsmede with James. James knew Lily wasn't ready to break things to her oldest friend. James didn't know if she'd ever be ready, even though she said she wanted to be. James wished for a moment they didn't have to snog in secret. He wished that they could go outside, and he could shout to the world that Lily picked him, chose him, because he made her _happy_. Of all of the people in this school, he was the one Lily said made him happiest. James couldn't help but feel chuffed that he'd even beat Snape, someone she clearly loved like a brother.

"You make me happy too." He murmured as she played with his hair, "So happy."

She beamed brilliantly, her cheeks red, "Even though we have to meet in secret?"

"That won't be forever."

Lily leaned closer to him, "you'd want people to know about us?" she seemed stunned, "Even once my blood status is out?"

"I want people to know about us _now_." James said, "but especially then."

"I still need to tell Sev," Lily sighed, "That's not going to go over well."

"You deserve to be yourself, Lily."

Lily's smile was shy, but warm. Her fingers continued tracing his skin and he closed his eyes against her touch. She was so caught up in her tracing that she didn't realize she was humming to herself. It was endearing and James opened one eye to see her beaming at him.

"Are you really going to be able to play Keeper?" he asked offhandedly when she began pushing her fingers through his hair indulgently, "I'm a chaser after all…"

"Why?"

James drew one of her hands to his face, kissing her wrist sweetly, "I might distract you."

Lily's drew her face into a challenge, "What if I distract you?"

"I guess we're evenly matched."

"Don't go easy on me James Potter, or I'll make you regret it."

"Empty threats."

She rolled her hips into his again. James half laughed, half moaned as their lips met again for a few searing kisses that left him seeing stars. They could've been up there for hours, possibly days. All James knew was that when he returned to Gryffindor tower, he was having his own day dreams that lasted well into the night and forced him to spend a long enough time in the shower that his fingers pruned.

James wished he could take her to Hogsmede, but Lily had made it very clear she wasn't ready for anyone to know about them. Based on her secret meetings with him, she was clearly worried about what people would say. A part of James wondered if Lily was nervous that he'd leave her if everyone started talking.

James wished that she could see that nothing in the world could stop what they had.

They both made their way back to the castle, sharing secret smiles the rest of dinner. Lily sat next to Snape at the Slytherin table, but she'd gotten into a conversation with one of the quidditch team members. Snape was busy talking to Rosier. Eventually, Lily's conversation waned and instead, she stared across the hall at James. She couldn't stare long, Snape wrapped her up into a conversation that had her attention pulled away from James.

James needed to get her someone else, someone besides Snape. Someone who would listen to her and as much as he knew Sirius and Lily would get along, he wasn't going to push either of them, not yet. Instead, James settled his sights on Mary MacDonald.

Mary was a soft-spoken, kind and smart, seventh year Gryffindor. She was careful and cautious, especially after Mulciber had attacked her, but James knew Mary was a good start for Lily. Mary wasn't judgmental, even when faced with adversity from her own friends. It's what got her into trouble with Mulciber in the first place. James knew she'd give Lily a chance if given the chance.

James cornered Mary in the common room after dinner, meeting her by the bookcases. She was surprised when he came over to her, so surprised, that she almost dropped her book.

"James?"

"Hey Mary." James leaned against the bookcase and gave the blond his best smile, "How's it going?"

"Swell." Mary said, not trusting his friendly tone, "Did Black set fire to the boy's dorm again? Because Marlene's better at water charms."

"No, why?"

"You seem guilty."

James tried to wipe his expression, "Nah, I just came to ask a favor."

Mary tilted her head, "Favor?"

James nodded, "You know Lily Evans?"

Mary's face became even more puzzled, "Yes."

"I was wondering if you'd like to meet her."

"Not particularly," Mary said, placing her book back on the shelf and trying to walk away from James.

James jumped after her, grabbing her wrist. Mary recoiled and turned to stare at James as she clasped her hand to her chest. James winced, realizing he'd overstepped.

"Sorry," he apologized, "Just, please, hear me out."

Mary rubbed her wrist, glaring at James, "why do you want me to meet with someone like her?"

James said, "She needs some new friends. The people in Slytherin, they don't understand her. She's lonely."

Mary's expression faltered for a moment, James could see her empathetic side winning over her hatred for anything connected to Mulciber.

"I know Evans helped you once after the thing with Mulciber," James said, "you owe her at least one chance at friendship."

Mary seemed to be remembering whatever Evans had done for her. Her face turned ashen as she stepped closer to James, her icy eyes flickering.

"Why should I care about her?"

"She's pro-muggleborn and living in the Hell hole called Slytherin." James said, "Give her one chance, _please_ Mary."

Mary squared her shoulders, looking James up and down, "Fine." She said, "I'll try and be her friend."

James grinned, "You will?"

Mary shrugged, "sure, if what you say is true then I don't see a reason we can't be friends."

Mary complained when James pulled her into a bear hug so James let her go, but not without the biggest grin on his face. Mary already looked like she regretted agreeing to James' request. Still, the next day in charms class, Mary invited Lily to work on charms homework in the Library before curfew and Lily, Merlin bless her, agreed. James practically punched the air in excitement when Mary relayed the message at lunch.

Sirius was confused when Mary left and James was still cheering, "What was that about?"

James kicked his feet up on the table in front of them, leaning back into his hands as he said, "Lily's making new friends."

Sirius arched his brow at James, "Evans and MacDonald?"

James nodded, "I would've tried to get you to be her first friend but you're both too stubborn to admit you like each other."

Sirius scoffed just as Lily walked up to their table, a smirk on her face. Lily's only had eyes for James, the green in them glinting critically. James saluted Lily cleverly and that made her slightly roll her eyes.

"Why did MacDonald just ask me to study with her?" she asked, "And why do you look so happy?"

"I don't know." James lied.

"Are you trying to get all the Gryffindors on my side?" she arched her brow warily, "What game are you playing, James Potter?"

"You do come off a little rough around the edges." He said wittily, "But I'm just making sure you'll still have some friends when I kick your teams arse in Quidditch."

"Not likely." Lily crossed her arms, laughing.

"Evans!" Knott barked from the Slytherin table, "Stop fraternizing with the enemy!"

Lily shot Mulciber a rude hand gesture and Sirius howled with laughter as Lily turned back to the Gryffindor table. Sirius clapped James on the back, still laughing.

"You know what Evans?" Sirius managed between laughs, "You just might be as cool as James says you are."

"Hell must've frozen over for you to admit that." Lily said, a faint smile on her face, "See you boys later."

James smiled even more when Sirius' lips fluttered up as Lily walked away.

Lily would have new, real, and supportive friends in no time. Snape's glare from the Slytherin table when Lily sat back down only confirmed that Snape knew something was happening that he didn't want. Lily was breaking down the walls he's built for her and crossing into dangerous territory. James stared back at Snape, not wanting to be the first to look away. He wasn't scared of Snape.

James was determined to make sure Snape knew he couldn't control James.

Based on Snape's sinister stare as Lily started talking to him absentmindedly, James had gotten the point across.


	11. So It Goes...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys this is the CLEANEST VERSION of this chapter. For the real Smut, you must go to my fanfic account, under the same pen-name. I separate the two for younger viewers and people who don't like reading smut.

_Chapter 11:_

_So, it goes…_

_I'm yours to keep_

_And I'm yours to lose_

_You know I'm not a bad girl, but I_

_Do bad things with you_

The weekends were normally always a quiet affair, but everyone was buzzing about the Hogsmede trip on Hallows Eve. It was tradition for a Hogsmede trip to happen on Hallows Eve and Lily didn't know a single person in the school who didn't want to go out and get enough candy and butterbeer to induce a sugar high. Most students went as a group, with all their friends. Lily's plans were to go with Severus, but every part of her wanted to break her own rules and go with James' hand entwined in her own. Of course, as the actual date got closer, more and more people were asking their significant others to Hogsmede. As she watched girl after girl get asked to go, a bitter sense of loneliness settled back into Lily's persona.

Her head would always turn whenever it happened so that she could find James amongst the crowd. He could make her grey days turn to sun but more recently, she wished he didn't have to do it in secret. When Alex Hitchens asked Sophie Turner to Hogsmede in the Great Hall at dinner the night before, she sought his hazel eyes over by the Gryffindor table. He was staring at her too, dutifully staying at his spot next to Peter, but clearly wishing he could pull her close to his side instead.

Every time they touched was thrilling, but the secret settled between them and refused to let either Lily or James to shine too much. Instead, they met in whispers and shadows, keeping their latest worships from the rest of the students at Hogwarts. Even with James nearby, Lily couldn't help feeling like she was alone even in a crowded room.

"What do you want to do in Hogsmede?" Sev asked her suddenly, shaking her from her reverie.

Lily looked away from the Gryffindor table and let her eyes settle on Sev, who was twirling pasta on his fork, "I don't care."

"We can go to that bookshop over by the Hogs Head." Sev suggested, "Quills and Ink?"

Lily scratched her nose and stared at the untouched food on her plate, "Sure."

Sev caught her lack of gusto and raised a brow at her, "Something wrong?"

Lily shrugged, "I guess."

Hannah Blishwick, one of Lily's chasers on the quidditch team, looked over at Lily's untouched plate, "You've hardly eaten anything, Lily."

Regulus Black, the seeker who'd replaced Lily's position, looked up too.

A worry line appeared on his forehead, "you aren't worried about the game, are you? Because I swear, I didn't mean to miss that catch in practice—"

Lily shook her head hastily, "No, no I'm fine." She lied, "Just tired."

Hannah, who was a third year but acted much older, didn't seem persuaded, "Maybe you should go to the Hospital Wing for a sleeping potion?"

Sev seemed annoyed by all the suggestions and cut everyone off, "You just need to get out, Lil." He insisted, patting her shoulder casually, "we've all been cooped up in this castle for too long. Once we're in Hogsmede, you'll feel better."

Once again, Lily's gaze drew itself back to Gryffindor table. James was talking to Mary MacDonald. They were laughing together, at something Peter had said. Mary had hung out with Lily the night before, but it was awkward and strange. They'd just sat at the same table and done the same homework. Neither girl knew what to say to the other. At the end of the session, Lily felt like she couldn't get away from Mary's wide blue eyes quick enough. James would be disappointed that they hadn't hit it off, he had clearly orchestrated the whole meeting.

Still, Lily appreciated James trying to get her new friends. The problem was, Lily hated whenever she met anyone new. She always wondered if they were some of the people who talked about her behind her back. Lily wondered if Mary had believed any of the lies spreading through the castle walls.

Of course, she'd been too nervous to actually ask.

Lily pushed her plate away and stood up suddenly, "I'm going to a walk."

Sev jumped up too, "I'll come."

Lily closed her eyes briefly, exasperation fluttering up in her stomach, "I'd rather go alone, actually."

Sev looked affronted, "but it's Saturday. We always hang out."

Lily opened her eyes and turned a cool gaze back to Severus, "I need to be alone. Ok?"

Sev's hook nose wrinkled, "Why?"

"Because I have a headache." Lily retorted before leaving the table.

She heard some of the other Slytherins say her name under their breath as she walked away. Sev's gaze burned into the back of her neck and she knew she shouldn't have snapped. Sev had been particularly clingy with her ever since he'd found her with James one night after detention. She'd had to sneak out to see James since then, she'd had to make up excuse after excuse. Eventually, Lily knew she'd have to tell Sev the truth…but she was a coward…she didn't want to hurt Sev's feelings.

He just wouldn't understand what she had with James.

Lily's head turned back to the Gryffindor table as she walked out, and she caught James' stare from the door. Nothing else in the world was right, except for James. He'd watched her like a deer who had heard rustling in the bushes. He was perked up and scrutinizing every little bit about her. Lily half expected James to come after her, until a soft female voice called her name a minute later when Lily was just about to turn the hallway corner.

Lily rotated on her heel and met the startlingly blue eyes of Mary MacDonald. She was half skipping down the hallway to keep up with Lily, her messy braids swinging on her shoulders. Nerves fluttered up in Lily's stomach as Mary fell into step with Lily.

"Are you going to the library before curfew?" Mary asked her, her voice light and airy.

"Uhm," Lily tucked her hair behind her ear, "Yeah."

"Mind if I join?" Mary asked.

"Okay."

Lily kept her head down as she tried to calculate all the reasons Mary MacDonald would be asking to hang out with Lily again. After all, last night hadn't been the best introduction. They'd both hardly said four sentences to each other the entire hour. Lily played with the buttons on her cloak as she tried to think of one reason Mary would still being playing nice.

The only reason that kept popping into her brain, was James.

Lily waited until they'd both picked out books to read and found a table near the windows and fireplace. Mary had her homework with her and pulled it out; it looked like it was Magical Creatures. Mary pulled out a quill and started jotting down some things on an old parchment. Lily had only gotten a book from the shelf for aesthetic. She wasn't actually in the mood to read.

"Did James ask you to hang out with me?"

Lily blurted it out so quickly that she was worried Mary hadn't understood. Mary looked up from her book and tilted her head at Lily. Her free hand reached for her golden braid and tugged it once as she met Lily's stare.

"What gave it away?"

Lily shrugged dejectedly, "You don't have to stay here if you don't want too."

Mary opened her book, "curiosity's keeping me here, Evans."

"Curiosity?"

Mary nodded, "I'm very curious."

"About?"

"Why would James Potter want me, a muggleborn, to become friends with Slytherin's Head Girl? His quidditch rival?" Mary's brows flew up as she looked back up from her book, "It's quite…interesting."

"So, you're only here because your curious?"

"I've always been curious about you, Evans." Mary countered, "My experiences with you have never quite matched up to your reputation in Slytherin. I've always wondered what's real...and what's not."

"I don't quite understand."

Mary waved her quill at Lily, as if she was waving a wand, "everyone says you're some pureblood apologist, but I know that can't be true, since you helped me in the loo when I was having a panic attack."

"I'd never be a pureblood apologist." Lily said crossly, "Why do people say that about me?"

"You are associated with well-known pureblood families who tend to have a darker view on things." Mary said frostily.

"If you're talking about Mason Mulciber," Lily said through her teeth, "He lied. I'd never touched him on purpose."

Something ignited behind Mary's eyes, "You don't have to lie."

"Pardon?"

"He can be persuasive and forceful." Mary cleared her throat and looked back down at her book, "I would know."

Lily grew soft, less defensive, "MacDonald, I don't know exactly what happened between you and Mulciber, just rumors, but I assure you that he absolutely disgusts me."

Mary sucked in a breath, "Yeah."

Lily sighed profusely and played with the frayed edges of her book. Mary dipped her quill in her ink pot, twirling it around uneasily. A lot of heavy air sat between the two witches, who were so alike, yet so different. Lily wanted Mary to like her, she wanted the muggleborn to be someone she could trust…but first she had to gain Mary's trust.

"I didn't do it, you know." Lily said decisively, her voice raising an octave, "I hate him, I would never stand in the same room as him, let alone get into the same bed as him."

Mary's gaze lifted and she stopped playing with her quill for a moment, "and Severus Snape?"

"He's like a brother to me." Lily said, "and he's not like Mulciber."

"Then why did he always hang out with him?" Mary probed, "He was there that day, he didn't stop Mulciber as I got pulled behind the quidditch shed."

Lily pursed her lips, another shot of exasperation for her old friend running through her veins, "Sev hangs out around the purebloods because he's trying to protect me."

"Why do you need to be protected by the purebloods?" she snorted, "You're a half-blood and a Slytherin to boot."

"I'm not very popular amongst them." Lily said crankily, "Especially now."

Mary dropped her quill in the inkpot and folded her hands on the table in front of her, "is this because of those anti-muggleborn posters?"

"Partially," Lily nodded, "Amelia Greengrass and I used to be friends and now she won't speak to me because I stuck up for the muggleborns."

"Greengrass comes from a very pompous family." Mary said, narrowing her eyes, "she's never known anything but hate against people like me."

"There shouldn't be a stigma against muggleborns." Lily said, heatedly, "it's not like—I mean—the entire ideology of pureblood royalty is absolutely barbaric."

Finally, Mary offered Lily a real smile, "You're preaching to the choir, Evans."

Lily smiled back. Both girls bent over their work. Mary started scratching away at her essay and Lily opened her book and stared on the first page. Mary spoke again, still writing on her parchment.

"So why did James ask me to befriend you?" Mary had a small curve to her lips, "was it supposed to be a practical joke and he fucked up because you're actually halfway decent?"

Lily lifted her book a little higher to hopefully hide her blush, "we're friends and I 'spect he knew I was feeling a bit lonesome."

Mary actually laughed out loud and dropped her quill. A group of first years a table over shushed Mary. Mary covered her mouth, but her shoulders were still shaking. When Mary finally stopped laughing, she managed to say something.

"You?" she asked mirthlessly, "You and Potter are friends?"

Shamefacedly, Lily asked, "Is that so hard to believe?"

"Oh my God, _yes_." Mary giggled.

Lily was startled by the term, realizing it had been a while since she'd heard it. Everyone in the wizarding world typically said, 'oh Merlin' or 'bless Agrippa' and Lily had forgotten that muggles said 'oh my God' as a term of expressing astonishment. Mary was the first muggleborn Lily had spoken to, _really_ spoken too, in a long time. A wide smile spread across Lily's face and her shoulders dropped as she joined in on Mary's amusement.

"It's not so hard to believe." Lily said, placing her book down, "we do have to spend a lot of time together for Head duties."

"Well sure," Mary said, "But you and Potter have been rivals since the both of you started playing quidditch."

"Well we don't talk quidditch with each other, unless we're prepared to duel."

Mary grinned even wider, looking like a cherub, "God, you destroyed him in Defense." She squeaked, "We all made fun of him for weeks after!"

Lily flushed and put on of her hands on her face, "Merlin, I hope not! He could probably beat me now, he got lucky that day."

"I hope you don't think that." Mary twittered, "Because he needs his ego to be knocked down every once in a while."

Lily knew, in that instant, she and Mary could be friends. Now that they'd gotten the ghosts between them pushed aside, they were more themselves. Mary seemed more comfortable too, her homework lay forgotten under her hands as they bonded.

"What're some of your hobbies outside of quidditch?" Mary asked, "what do you like to do in the summers?"

"I like to get ice cream from Diagon Alley," Lily said, "And this last summer Amelia, well, before we fought, she took me to a Swift Broomsticks concert."

"Swift Broomsticks!" Mary perked up, "I love them! I wanted to see them but I—" Mary's voice suddenly dropped and then she said somewhat resentfully, "I wanted to go, but I was too scared too."

"Scared?" Lily questioned, "Why?"

Mary straightened in her chair, "Muggleborns aren't always received well."

Lily remembered when Sev and the rest of his mates had dragged her and Amelia to Dittany after the Swift Broomsticks concert. Lily had been chatting up a bloke there wearing muggle clothes and Knott almost had a conniption when he spotted Lily and Amelia talking to him. Lily's smile left her face, as she realized that all muggleborns had to deal with the prejudice no matter where they went.

"It's not fair." Lily affirmed, "I'm sorry, Mary."

Mary shrugged, "It's fine, I'm used to it by now."

Lily remember what James had told her, that Mary had once wished she kept her muggleborn status a secret like Lily. The only problem was that Mary wasn't fortunate enough to have a Severus Snape to watch her back and keep her in line with the pureblood ways. Although now, Lily had to think that Mary was the lucky one, because at least she got to be who she was. Mary didn't have to hide behind a curtain that was bound to fall at any point as Lily pushed back at the pessimism in her life.

Mary, knowing the conversation had drifted, changed the subject to Lily's book, "Do you like Agatha Misty books?"

Lily glanced down at the romance she'd picked up and then looked back at Mary with a smile, "I mean she throws witches and wizards together for no discernable reason, except to shag, but I like to laugh at the ridiculous situations the characters get themselves into."

Mary giggled into her hand and nodded, "God, yes! I had to put down _Prince of Charms_ because I laughed so hard when the main character got stuck on that boat filled with love potions."

"Did you read _Dueling Dragons_?"

Mary rolled her eyes, "It was absolutely ridiculous." And then she grinned wider, "I _loved_ it."

The girls were so caught up chatting that Lily hadn't noticed when a familiar face appeared at the edge of the table. It wasn't until Amelia cleared her throat that Lily looked up. Amelia's pretty hair was in a knot at the base of her neck, tied with an ornate butterfly. Her eyes, cool and decisive, were narrowed at Lily.

"Can I speak to you?" Amelia asked, her eyes darting to Mary, "Alone?"

Mary glared back at Amelia, clearly not a fan of the girl. Lily crossed her arms and leaned back in her seat, looking her roommate up and down.

"Considering this is the first time you've wanted to speak to me in weeks." Lily said formally, "whatever you have to say can be said in company."

"Fine." Amelia said coolly, "Hanging out with someone like her is social suicide, you're already treading water with Theo angry at you Lily, but I can't help you if you go down _this_ road."

"Sorry." Lily retorted, "I wasn't aware you were helping me by ignoring me and telling me muggleborns are shite!"

A flash of red crossed Amelia's proud face, "Severus and I have been keeping the boys from teasing you and giving you trouble" she said, "But we can't help you, if you blatantly hang out with people like her."

"I don't want your help," Lily said, "And I certainly don't want you to think I care what your boyfriend thinks of me."

Amelia looked manic and opened her mouth to lecture, but Mary beat Amelia to it, "I'm pretty sure Evans just told you to beat it, Greengrass."

Amelia shifted her stony eyes to Mary and heatedly snapped, "stay out of this, mudblood."

Mary bristled and Lily jumped out of her chair, pulling her wand on Amelia. Amelia stared at Lily's wand in shock as sparks flew out the end, forewarning Amelia. Lily's forehead creased as she watched at Amelia down the end of her wand. In all of the years of knowing Amelia, Lily had never imagined it'd come down to this.

"Going to jinx me, Evans?" Amelia's eyes showed panic, despite the even tone she used.

"If I ever hear you use that word again," Lily whispered, "I'll do it. But for now, I'll just give you a detention."

Amelia's jaw dropped, "Detention!"

"Detention, Greengrass."

Amelia might as well have had steam pouring out of her ears, she was fuming, "You can't do that to me, Lily! My record has been clear since first year!"

"Not anymore." Lily muttered angrily, not lowering her wand, "I'll be sure to tell Professor Slughorn you'll be joining him for detention at the end of November."

Amelia's chest and rose, her rage exceeding anything Lily had ever seen before, "This friendship is over." Amelia jeered cruelly, "Don't come crawling back to me when everyone else hates you and you have no friends."

"She will have a friend." Mary spoke up, "She'll have me."

Amelia flipped her hair in Mary's direction like a whip after a superior snort, "Like I said, when you have no friends Lily, you'll wish you'd listened to me."

Mary stood up and stuffed her things into her bag before coming around the table and hooking her arm in Lily's, "Come on, Lily." Mary said as Amelia and Lily continued glaring each other down, "I know a quieter place we go."

Lily didn't put her wand away until they were out of Amelia's sight. Lily's felt her heart pounding in her chest, and she looked over at Mary, an apology falling from her lips.

"I'm so sorry, that was out of line."

Mary shook her head, "Greengrass has always been a stuck-up snobby bitch."

Lily shook her head, "She was always alright with me until…well…until I started fighting back."

"And there's where you went wrong." Mary sighed, "you've got an actual spine, compared to the people who revere her just because of her last name."

It was like a breath of fresh air, being around Mary.

Mary let go of Lily's arm as they started down the hallway together.

"Where did you grow up?" Lily asked Mary, wondering about her muggle family.

Mary played with one of her loose braids as she talked, "Mum had me pretty early and we lived with my grandparents until she got a job in London when I was six. Southwark is our home now, near the Thames."

"What does your mum do?" Lily asked as they walked through a crowd of fifth years heading for the library.

"Mums an accountant." Mary said, "what do your parents do?"

"Nothing important."

Mary laughed, "And accounting is important?"

Lily glanced at Mary, wonder if this had been a part of James' plan. He wanted Mary to show Lily how easy it would be to be herself, instead of the person she'd become to save face. Lily smiled, so Mary didn't think she was barmy.

"True." Lily hummed, "What do you want to do when you graduate in May?"

Mary wrinkled her nose, "I'm not sure." She admitted, "Professor Rogers said she'd help me pick a job, but I haven't gone in to see her yet."

"Rogers offered to help you get a job?" Lily perked up, "Really?"

Mary nodded, "She used to be an Auror."

"Yeah, I know." Lily said, "Do you want to be an Auror?"

"Heavens no," Mary shook her head quickly, "But I do think I want to go into the banking sector. Like my mum, but for this world."

Lily nodded but kept her mouth clamped shut as she remembered the applications Slughorn had given Lily at the start of term. As soon as Lily had seen that she'd have to put her blood status on the papers, she'd shied away immediately. Mary made it sound like blood status didn't even matter and her behavior matched up to Professor Rogers.

It was another inconsistency in what Severus had told her for years.

Mary turned down the main hallway and the girls walked into the courtyard. A light pattern of snow was falling from the sky, littering the ground with thick white flakes. Mary threw her hood over her head and Lily followed suit as the girls went to sit together under the eaves of the bridge that led across part of the great lake. They watched the snow fall together, Mary had pulled out her homework again and started working on it.

The silence as the snow fell was indescribable. Lily had never purposely sat out in a snowstorm before, at least not so casually. Lily breathed in the scent of smoke from the fires burning inside the castle to keep the students warm. The sun was setting and so the grey clouds grew darker and darker against the framing of the castle.

"It's so still." Lily commented, keeping her voice low.

Mary looked up from her work and smiled softly, "I'll miss this."

Lily glanced at her new friend, "The snow?"

"School," Mary said, turning to catch Lily's bewildered gaze, "I'm quite fond of school, even with all the shit about my blood. My best friends are here. My boyfriend is here."

"Boyfriend?" Lily nudged Mary's elbow and Mary bit her lip to try and hold back her smile, "Seeing someone special?"

"Reg Cattermole," Mary said, "He's a Hufflepuff."

"You love him." Lily stated of Mary's obvious glow.

Mary's smile grew wider, "sometimes I really think I do."

Lily recognized the smile on Mary's face, it was the same one Lily got whenever she thought about James. Mary's cherub cheeks were red from the cold, but her smile was all because of the bloke in Hufflepuff. Lily wondered if she looked as happy as Mary whenever she was around other people and thinking about James.

"Have you ever been in love?" Mary asked her nosily, "or were all those rumors about you and Greengrass just that?"

Lily leaned back onto her palms, "Amelia's been in love with Theo Knott since we were twelve, but she did date Rosier for a hot second in fourth year."

Mary wrinkled her nose, "Gross."

"Exactly." Lily agreed, "And I've never dated any of the Slytherins, I went on two dates with Kip Gansley—"

Mary cut Lily off, "Kip Gansley!" Mary's hand hit Lily's shoulder, " _The_ Kip Gansley?"

"Uh," Lily scratched forehead, "The Ravenclaw prefect?"

"He's so hot." Mary giggled into her hand, "was he a good kisser?"

Lily shrugged, "Not the best." She said as she thought of James' intoxicating mouth, "I've had better."

"Oh yeah?" Mary waggled her brows at Lily when Lily started coloring, "Who?"

Lily pulled her hood up farther to block her sheepish smile, "Oh, you know. A few boys. I forget their names now."

Mary looked unconvinced but she looked back down at her homework, still grinning. Lily dug her boots into the snow and drew stars and circles as the girls settled back into silence. Eventually, they got too cold and made their way back into the warm Hogwarts hallways. At the main staircase, they stood at the base facing each other with shy smiles.

"Thank you," Lily blurted out, "I was miserable earlier, and you helped."

Mary, who's smile could be compared to sunshine, shrugged favorably.

"I'm glad James convinced me to get to know you better." She said, "we should hang out again soon."

"I'd like that."

And this time, when the girls parted from each other, their smiles were meaningful.

Lily went back to the Slytherin common room, aware that she was still freezing from spending so much time out in the snow. She pulled her hood off finally and shook out her hair as she entered the common room. The room was packed with students studying, reading, and listening to the radio. Lily spotted Severus over by the fireplace with Amelia and the quidditch team. Amelia looked feverish and when Sev turned his head to stare at Lily, everyone else turned too.

Knott's glare was criminal, "Where are you going Evans?" he called as Lily walked towards the girl's dorms, "out to give another innocent person detention?"

Any happiness bestowed onto Lily from Mary MacDonald vanished as Lily glared warningly at Knott. He had his arm wrapped around Amelia, keeping her close, as if protecting her from Lily. As if Lily was dangerous, when Amelia was the one being rude and prejudiced. Lily stopped in the doorway of the dorms and made sure her glare was seen by the people gathered by the fireplace.

"Lily, come here." Sev insisted from beside Knott and Amelia, "Let's talk!"

"Yeah, Evans." Amelia called irritably, "Let's talk!"

"I'd rather not." Lily said civilly, before sticking her nose in the air and turning the corner.

Lily's point of view had been altered by the arrival of James Potter in her life. She was taking back the world, relearning what she'd been taught. Even if it meant she'd raise some Hell within her own house to do it. Mary MacDonald lived happily as a muggleborn, it was clear of Lily to see that. Mary was brave, kind, and most importantly, loved. Lily was tolerated at best in her own house.

When she entered her room, Juniper meowed at Lily from her pillow. A watery smile broke Lily's features and she cooed to her cat as she sat on the edge of her bed, petting Juniper. The cat's thick black fur was getting thicker with the arrival of winter, so Juniper now looked like she'd gained an extra fifteen pounds. She was the size of a terrier and it was almost comical.

"Are you just the fattest, happiest cat in the world?" Lily asked Juniper, kissing the top of her head, "We're going to go home for Christmas and Mum is going to try and put you on a diet again."

Juniper meowed in reply and began purring as Lily curled up next to the cat. Lily stared across at Amelia's perfectly made bed. Now that Amelia had ended their friendship, Lily definitely didn't want to stick around in her dorm, but it wasn't fair to Juniper to leave her alone with Amelia. Lily looked down at the cat glumly and then hugged Juniper tightly.

"I'm going to have to figure out what to do when I finally tell everyone the truth." Lily said, "I'd be too afraid of leaving you here for one of those nasty purebloods to hurt."

Juniper seemed unconcerned but, seeing as she was a cat, this did not surprise Lily. Still, Lily knew she'd never be able to sleep in her dorm once Amelia knew the truth. Amelia clearly hated muggleborns and wouldn't ever be caught in the same room as one. Lily wondered what she could do in that instance. She glanced down back at the cat on the pillow.

Maybe Professor Rogers could help keep Juniper in her office.

Deciding, Lily picked up the cat and lugged her out of the room. Juniper protested, wiggled, and tried slipping from Lily's arms. Everyone in the Slytherin common room watched as she walked out, carrying Juniper. Sev, Amelia, and Knott had all disappeared thankfully, so Lily wasn't subjected to much snark from her fellow Slytherins.

Juniper, stuck in Lily's tight hold, grew still by the time Lily had made it to the Defense corridor. Lily knocked on Professor Rogers' closed office door. Lily heard footsteps before the door opened and Rogers appeared wearing a bright pink bathrobe. Roger's looked at Lily, then her cat, and became befuddled by the sight.

"Going for a late-night stroll with your cat, Evans?" Professor Rogers queried.

Lily heaved Juniper off her shoulder and tried to show Juniper's face to Rogers, "This is Juniper," Lily introduced them, "I am scared to leave her in my dorm, especially once I tell everyone the truth."

"Still haven't done that yet, have you?" Rogers commented before she reached out and patted Juniper's cranky head, "I hadn't heard anyone gossip about you in classes, so I wondered..."

"James knows." Lily said, "I told him, but I've been trying to figure out how to tell everyone else."

"It's like ripping a band aid off Evans." Rogers said, taking the cat from Lily's arms and petting Juniper slowly, "you just have to go for it."

"I still need to tell Severus." Lily said, keeping her gaze on her cat, "But I just don't know how he'll react."

"If he's your friend, he'll understand." Rogers cringed as Juniper tried to claw her way up Rogers' bathrobe, "real friends stay with you through the storm, Evans."

"Well," Lily motioned to the black cat, "Either way, I might be sleeping the next couple of days and my roommate will probably kick me out when she find out I'm muggelborn—so I was hoping you could watch Juniper?"

"Sure," Rogers said, without fighting.

Lily perked up, "Really?"

She'd honestly expected Rogers to laugh at the suggestion. Rogers looked unfazed.

Rogers nodded as she pulled Juniper's claws from her bathrobe, "I always wanted a cat. This can be practice." She smiled kindly at Lily, "besides, anything to help you feel comfortable enough to tell your friends the truth."

"Thank you, Professor." Lily clasped her hands together, "I didn't know who else to ask because Professor McGonagall can turn into a cat…so imagine how that would be…and Professor Dumbledore kind of intimidates me, so I didn't want to ask him and Slughorn is allergic so—"

"Evans." Professor Rogers cut Lily off, entertained, "It's fine. I don't mind helping you while you deal with the other stuff."

"Right." Lily chewed on her lip, "Well, I really do appreciate it."

Rogers nodded and started to put Juniper down, but Lily motioned for her to stop. Rogers did so and Lily tore her cat from Rogers' arms. Lily hugged the cat tightly, burying her face in Juniper's fur. Juniper batted at Lily's red hair.

"Be good." Lily warned her cat, "don't steal her ham sandwich or go wandering too far."

Lily handed Juniper back over to Rogers. Rogers placed the cat just beyond the door of her office. Juniper started sniffing everything, tail twitching. Lily clasped her hands together again as she watched Juniper make himself at home in front of Rogers' fireplace. Rogers placed a hand on Lily's shoulder, drawing Lily attention away from the cat.

"I'm happy you told Mr. Potter." She said sympathetically, "and I'm sorry for snapping at you the last time we spoke. I care very deeply about the muggleborn students. I used to be like them. Lonely and out of place."

Lily lifted her gaze, "That's how I feel right now."

Rogers nodded, "I know, but the more people you trust with your secret, the happier you'll be."

Lily tucked her hair behind her ear and nodded, "Thanks."

"See you on Monday for class." Rogers smiled, "Have fun at Hogsmede tomorrow."

"Bye."

Lily waved at her Professor as Rogers shut the door to her study. Lily made her way through the hallways, not particularly ready to go back to the dorm. Curfew was in fifteen minutes and she was wandering aimlessly near the kitchen when a familiar voice caught her off guard.

"What are you doing here?"

Lily turned on her heel and spotted James. Even after so much time spent snogging him in secluded corners, Lily's heart still skipped a beat at the sight of him. Her smile spread wide and she flung her arms around his neck in greeting. She buried her face into his neck and breathed in the scent of cinnamon and broomstick polish.

"Mary said you went back to the common room." He said into her hair, "I wasn't expecting to see you until tomorrow."

Lily pulled back and dropped her arms, feeling cold the minute they were separated by air again, "Knott was being a git and then I realized once I tell everyone about my secret, Juniper shouldn't stay where people like Knott could get to her, so I took her to Rogers for now."

"Wait a second," James said, fixing his glasses on his nose, "you're telling me that you're more worried for your cat's safety than your own, when you finally tell everyone?"

Lily quirked a brow, "Yes?"

James threw his head back in a laugh before tossing an arm over her shoulder and pressing a kiss to her temple, "you're unbelievable."

"Amelia already isn't fond of Juniper." Lily said defensively, "I'm not going to give anyone an excuse to hurt my cat."

"Meanwhile, you don't give a damn what they'll do to you." James rolled his eyes, shaking his head at her.

"I mean, at least I can curse them into next week if I have too." Lily muttered moodily, "Juniper's only got her claws and she's too fat to move fast enough to hurt anything."

"I have got to meet this cat one day."

"What are you doing out of _your_ common room?" Lily asked, pinching his side playfully.

"Remus needed to go to the Hospital Wing."

Another full moon was due, tomorrow. Lily was aware of her small smile dropping, but she made it return just as quickly. James was amazing, she realized. He'd kept Remus' secret for Merlin only know how long. Which was an even bigger secret than Lily's. The only thing more hated than a muggleborn, was a werewolf.

Lily placed her hand on his cheek lovingly and stood on her tiptoes to place her lips innocently against his, pulling back swiftly to offer him a proud smile.

"You know what I like most about you?" she asked him as his fingers drifted into her hair.

"What?" he asked, amused, eyes flickering happily.

"The only secrets you keep from me, are the ones worth keeping." She said honestly, "And you don't lie, you just try to change the subject when you don't want me to keep asking questions."

James flicked her hair playfully, "Because you're nosy."

Lily leaned onto her toes, "Only because I care."

James' hand brushed down her side, "you know, don't you?" he asked seriously, "About Remus?"

Lily cocked an eyebrow, "I've had an inkling for a long time."

James whistled, looking her up and down, "and yet you never told anyone?"

Lily mirrored him, "It's not my secret to tell."

The silence between them was filled with a buzz of something that was brand new. James' mouth as partially open as he gaped at her, lost in a dream. Everything about James was warm and inviting. James' hand swept up to brush her hair from her eyes as she reached up to greedily traced the lines of his jaw with her fingertips.

"I've missed this." She whispered as the darkness settled around them like shroud, "Us, together."

"Me too," he agreed, swooping down to press a kiss to her cheek, "I'm sorry about Amelia."

"Did Mary tell you?"

James nodded as his lips dragged softly over to her lips and she kissed him back contentedly. Suddenly, James stepped back and grabbed Lily's hand. James started tugging her forward, a simper of a grin on his face.

Lily followed his guiding pull with a tilted head, "where are we going?"

"Back to my dorm."

"James no," Lily dug her heels into the ground, "we can't. I'm a Slytherin."

"Where were you planning on sleeping tonight?" James asked, "With Amelia the Awful?"

"No," Lily said, "I'll wait in the potions classroom and then sleep on the sofa in the common room."

"Absolutely not." James rolled his eyes, "you'll go to sleep and Knott will smother you with a pillow."

"He doesn't know I'm a muggleborn, yet." Lily defended Knott's sanity.

"Doesn't mean he won't do it so Crabbe can become quidditch captain before the game in a few days." James reminded her spritely as he continued to tug her, this time in the opposite direction.

" _James_."

The dark look he threw her over his shoulder shut her up. He led her through the shadowy halls, until they came to the fifth floor. They walked past the closed Hospital doors and through the long corridor that led to the clock tower. Most importantly, the Head office was right before the entrance to the prefect's bathroom and common area. James unlocked the door using the password, pulling Lily into the dark and cramped office without saying a word.

Lily let go of his hand as she pulled out her wand to start the small fireplace that sat in one corner of the room. She then made her way to the desk where a few detention slips sat unfiled. James took her shoulder before she could sit down on one of the chairs. Lily glanced at him warily, not trusting the devilish look on his face.

"You ready to be impressed?" he asked cockily.

"I dunno?" she grinned, "Am I?"

James chuckled and pulled the two chairs out from under the desk. James lined the chairs side to side by the small window on the left. The window looked out over the forbidden forest, but it was too dark outside for Lily to see anything but snowflakes drifting past the windows. James pulled out his wand and pointed it at the side by side chairs. Lily sat on the end of the desk, watching as James licked his lips and began waving his wand with a fashionable flick.

The two chairs fused together, expanded and grew three pillows. Lily watched in fascination as James transfigured the desk chairs into a sofa that sat under the window sill. James whipped around, winked at Lily and then snatched a piece of paper of the desk. The paper floated in the air as James whispered an incantation and made a blanket fall craftily on the ground where the piece of paper should've landed.

"There you go!" he announced, "someplace safe to sleep!"

Lily actually clapped for him, "James that was amazing transfiguration!"

He seemed chuffed by her compliments as he walked back to her. James ruffled his hair as he tossed his wand on the desk beside her. James stood in front of her, placing both hands on either side of her hips, keeping her locked onto the desk. Lily crinkled her nose at him and placed a finger on his nose spiritedly.

"I knew you were good at transfiguration," she quipped, "but I didn't realize you were _that_ good. What else can you do?"

"You'll have to wait and see." James winked, "I'm a man of many talents."

Lily hit his cheek lightly, "so humble."

James winked again and Lily laughed, disbelief shaking her to the core as she stared at the Gryffindor in front of her. He was absolutely nothing like she'd thought when they were younger. He was kind, thoughtful, charming and absolutely owned every little piece of her without even trying.

"What are you thinking right now?" he breathed, eyes searching hers.

"About how much I like you." She said fairly, "And how much I wish you would kiss me."

James' hazel eyes dimmed, "I can do that."

Lily laughed and pushed her nose to his, "that's what I was hoping you'd say."

James kissed her sweetly, lingering just for a moment. Lily sighed in disappointment when he stepped back and walked away from her to the sofa. She'd been fully prepared to have her way with him on the desk.

Instead, James fell back into the sofa and then patted the cushion next to his. Lily smiled warmly and got up and off the desk, waltzing over to the sofa and falling into it next to James. He wrapped one arm around her shoulder, pulling her into him as they both settled. Lily leaned her head on his shoulder and stared at the fireplace.

"I'm going to tell Sev tomorrow." Lily told him, as his fingers played absentmindedly with her hair.

James glanced down at her, "you are?" he sounded surprised.

Lily nodded, "I think I'll start slowly, I won't announce it all in one go, but once the rumors start spreading it'll make everything much more complicated. I want Sev to know what's coming."

James shook his head, disagreeing with her, "it's going to make things easier." He said, "you'll finally be able to figure out who your real friends are."

"Speaking of real friends," she shot him a clever look, "I really like Mary MacDonald."

James flashed a grin, "I knew you would."

Lily laughed at his haughty tone and she turned a bit so she could run her hand over his cheek, "you're the best, you know that, right?"

James pretended to consider but when Lily smacked him slightly, he finally laughed, "Yes." His hazel eyes gleamed as he leaned in, "I know."

His lips were inches from hers and she was waiting for him to kiss her, practically aching for his lips to come into contact with hers. It'd been too long since they'd snogged properly, and she was desperate to feel something other than the anxiety and fear she'd been smothered by the last few hours. James' fingers lightly traced the sides of her face as he finally closed the space between them.

It felt good whenever he was putting his hands all over her, slowly, taking his time as he deepened their kiss into lenient tongues and gripping teeth. Lily was only aware of the crackle of the fireplace and the feel of his mouth on hers. The castle could've been burning up around them, and she could have cared less. The Head office had turned into their own sacred oasis, where James didn't ever have to let her go. They had all night together, should he so choose to stay wrapped up in her arms.

Lily felt like everyone in the world had disappeared. She could feel the same familiar burning sensation in her stomach as her mouth left his to press its way across his jaw. When they were alone, it seemed so simple, they were just two teenagers falling for each other with each passing moment. Lily caught his mouth for another searing kiss that left her breathless as he pulled away, pressing his forehead to hers.

"I should go," he complained.

"Stay here." She clutched her fists into his quidditch shirt, willing him to stay.

"The mates will be wondering where I'm at."

Lily pushed her lips against his neck, "Stay here," she begged, "I don't want to share."

James looked torn, "needy, aren't we?" he tried to joke but his fingers were tracing the buttons on her robes.

"Yes."

Lily didn't know why she was always so bold around James, but he brought out her wild and precarious side. He let her feel like she could do anything, say anything that floated through her brain. Lily kissed each of his fingertips, keeping her eyes drawn on his face, pleading him to stay.

"If I stay," his voice was husky, "I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off you."

"Then don't."

James' eyes lifted to hers, the darkness of his irises seemingly setting her on fire. Lily edged herself closer to him, caught up in the moment that his eyes dropped to her lips once more. She nudged him, widening her eyes as far as they'd go. James' hands were hooked on her waist now, promising a good time if he'd just stay.

"Lily." He sounded like he was in pain, his fingers dug deeper into her sides.

" _Stay_."

She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his once more. He was still as she moved her lips against his and then when she raced her fingers through his curls, a shameless 'baby' fell from his lips. She smirked into his mouth as he turned on the sofa and started kissing her back. Lily couldn't breathe or think or do anything but feel elated as the kisses turned hot and concentrated.

 

They fell into each other, James focusing all his attention on Lily. She lost her sense of direction and fell into a whirlpool of feelings as his fingers drifted and their hearts beat in time to the dance he was eliciting. They were both sweaty, scorching and Lily was gasping like she'd run a marathon, but she'd never been more relaxed. James looked quite pleased too. When he was done he pressed his forehead to hers. His hand was still between them, pressing to her thigh as his other hand cupped her cheek tenderly.

"Did I do alright?" he asked, but his smirk told Lily that he knew she'd loved it.

Lily's voice sounded like she'd been stuck in a desert without water, "if not a little slow."

James mocked her before sliding his hips down. Lily's eyes fluttered as she felt him rub up against her purposely. He arched a brow at her in challenge.

"Slow?" he grinned, "You couldn't keep yourself quiet. I'm surprised Filch didn't hear you."

Lily laughed and put her fingers to his lips, "Shh," she demanded, "he might hear you laughing."

James nipped at her fingers, "you're going to be the death of me, Evans."

"Your turn?" she asked breathlessly as he sat up a bit on his elbow.

James laughed and kissed her on the mouth as they fell farther into the sofa together.

"No," he said contentedly, "I'm fine with this."

Lily arched a brow at him when he broke away and his hand at her hip started wandering up her stomach, "really?"

"Really." He said, "Besides, I'm pretty sure for the rest of my life, all I'll care about is hearing you, over," he kissed her collarbone, "over," he pinched her side, "and over again."

Eventually, they both cooled down. James had to sit on the opposite end of the couch but, they both cooled down. Lily didn't bother putting her robes back on to sleep. Instead, she picked up James' discarded quidditch shirt and threw it over her head as James reclined on the sofa. It was half past eleven according to the clock on the desk. Lily had to be downstairs early for Hogsmede but all she wanted to do was stay up in James' arms, forever.

When she turned back to the sofa, James was looking her up and down. His eyes stayed trapped on the shirt hugging her curved.

"Red and gold looks good on you, Slytherin." He commented casually, running his fingers through his hair, which was already a hot mess thanks to Lily's fingers.

"I look good in everything, Gryffindor."

"I can't argue with that."

Lily struck a pose and snorted when he catcalled. Lily fell back onto the sofa next to him. Her arms wrapped around his bare torso and she buried her face into his chest. James pulled the blanket over them both. And all at once, James was the one she'd never let go, not for anything. She was seventeen years old and already promising to herself that his love was something she'd die to keep.

"I want you to know." He nudged her when he saw her eyes slipping closed, "I didn't expect anything like tonight."

Lily lifted her head up sleepily to blink at him, "Hm?"

James chuckled at her sleepy face, "When you asked me to stay, I would've been okay with this."

"Is that why you didn't want to finish?"

"No." he grinned, "I don't care about you reciprocating, I mean I'd love for that to happen, one day, but I can't promise I'll be quiet when that happens. We'll need to be someplace besides the Head office."

Lily said seriously, snuggling closer to him, "I'm ready whenever you are."

"Even right now?" he asked, arching a knowing eyebrow at her, "there's no one in my dorm right now. Peter's out with his girlfriend and Sirius stayed with Remus in the hospital."

"Tomorrow." She appeased, feeing too tired to try anything new that would require James' hands to be preoccupied elsewhere.

James said, drawing lazy circles on her arms, "as enticing as that is, Sirius would murder me if I didn't—well if I ditched him for you tomorrow."

Lily yawned and closed her eyes, "Sev would murder me too, we're supposed to hang out in Hogsmede together."

James chuckled, "and he's still got no idea about me and you?"

Lily shook her head, nuzzling deeper into his side, "Everyone thinks they know us, James, but they know nothing about us."

"But they will soon."

She smiled into his warm skin, "if I can work up the courage in time."

James' voice was hopeful as he replied, "when are you thinking of telling everyone?"

"After quidditch."

"Smart."

"I've been known to have a good idea or two." She laughed as he tickled her side playfully.

"I can't wait to win." James boasted, "Victory sex sounds great. You can wear my shirt."

Lily reached out and hit his chest with her hand, "Arse." She opened one eye and angled her head up to glare at him, "Slytherin will beat Gryffindor. Regulus Black is an amazing seeker."

"Fuck Regulus." James said, angrily, "My seeker, Faith, is a force to be reckoned with."

"We'll see." Lily sang, "won't we?"

James kissed the top of her head, "See you in the morning, Lil."

Lily's nails dug into him, "Are you leaving?"

"No," he said, "But you can barely keep your eyes open and we both have an early morning."

Lily fell asleep in his arms, lulled into her dreams by listening to his breathing.

James woke her up the next morning, sunlight streaming through the window. He surprised her with a pair of woman's slacks and a button-down white shirt covered in purple and pink polkadots. Lily laughed when he placed them on her lap. He'd already changed, and showered, his black curls damp with water.

"Muggle clothes?" Lily arched her brow at James, "Where did you get these?"

James shrugged, "Marlene McKinnon owed me a favor and you two are around the same size."

"Except she's a whole head taller than me." Lily laughed as she pulled the shirt to herself.

"There's a cloak there as well," James nodded to the folded black thing near the armrest, "so you can go right to the Great Hall for breakfast since I know you have the first set of rounds in the village."

Lily grinned at James as she pulled on the trousers easily, buttoning them as James leaned casually against the door frame and watched her dress. She caught his eyes scraping up her torso and she grabbed the shirt, giving him a show as she did so. James' eyebrows were up in his hairline.

"You don't want us to get out of this room, do you?" he asked, crossing his arms as she slowly buttoned up the shirt, one button at a time.

Lily smirked, "Just imagine how much better it will be when the clothes come _off_ again."

"It's too fucking bad I have plans tonight." James mumbled bitterly, kicking at the floor.

"Too fucking bad." Lily agreed, finishing buttoning her shirt and reaching for the cloak, "Guess you'll just have to imagine what it'll be like."

James and Lily went their separate ways outside the head office door, sharing secret smiles and a chaste kiss. James, it seemed, was headed back to the Gryffindor common room. Lily didn't have any time to go back to the Slytherin common room, so she made her way to breakfast, pulling her fingers through her hair as she walked.

Severus was waiting by the Great Hall doors, nervously picking at the dirt in his fingernails. When he spotted Lily, he bounded up off the wall and raced to her side. Lily offered him a good morning smile, but she wasn't able to say anything before he started asking her questions.

"Where have you been?" he demanded, "Amelia said you didn't come back last night? Did you sleep in the common room? You weren't there when I got up."

"Calm down," Lily half laughed, lopping her arm through his and dragging him towards breakfast, "I slept in the Head office."

Sev gaped at her, "The Head office?"

"Yeah," Lily cleared her throat, "I didn't want to go back and have Amelia lording over me all night."

"Lily," Sev said, "you really need to be more careful around the purebloods."

"No," Lily said firmly as they walked past the Ravenclaw table, "the pureblood's need to be careful around me."

"Don't say that out loud." Sev begged as they took their seats at the end of the Slytherin table, "Someone might hear you."

"I don't care." Lily said, pulling a tray of toast closer to her, "now let's hurry up and eat so we can get to Hogsmede on time. I have the first patrol."

Sev's behavior switched instantly, "Oh yeah," he grabbed toast as well, "I forgot."

Lily chewed her toast quickly, turning in her seat to glance behind her to the Gryffindor table. She caught the stare of Marlene McKinnon and Mary MacDonald. Marlene's eyes had zeroed in on Lily's cloak and Lily had an idea that James hadn't told the Gryffindor beater why he'd needed girls' clothes. Based on the way they were whispering, Lily knew she'd have to come up with an excuse. Lily tugged fretfully at her cloak as she turned back to the Slytherin table.

Sev's eyes caught her playing with the neck fasteners and he grew confused, "Did you bring those from home?" he asked.

Lily glanced down and realized that her cloak was no longer hiding her muggle ensemble underneath, "Oh," she said flippantly, "yeah, they were at the bottom of my trunk."

"You shouldn't be wearing those."

"Sev." Lily's voice hitched, "Please stop telling me what I can and cannot do."

Sev's face turned red and he bit into his toast sourly. Lily fiddled with the edges of the cloak nervously, feeling Marlene McKinnon's eyes dig into her back from behind. James hadn't thought this all the way through and neither had Lily. Of course, Marlene would recognize her own clothes, even on Lily. A few of the Slytherins looked at her clothes scathingly. Amelia pretended not to notice Lily.

After breakfast, Lily and Sev rushed to Hogsmede on foot. Lily made it just in time to the edge of the town as the bells of Hogwarts castle announced the rest of the students were released. Lily's shift lasted two hours. She and Sev walked up and down the snowy streets, chatting casually about things they saw in the windowsills of the shops. When her shift was over because Kip Gansley replaced her, Lily and Sev made their way to the bookshop. Sev found a new potions book and she browsed before they made their way to the Three Broomsticks.

Hogsmede looked like a Christmas card, covered in fluffy white snow. Sev bought them candy from the treat shop before they followed a gang of students into the Three Broomsticks. Lily was about to grab a table near the windows when Sev shook his head and motioned to a table by the fireplace. Lily stopped dead in her tracks when she saw who was sitting at the table adjacent to the one Sev had picked.

James' gaze met hers and he raised his glass at her.

A flash of red crossed her cheeks and nerves built up in her stomach as she took a seat, James directly behind her. Sev sat across the table from Lily and pulled out a menu, chatting away, not seeming to have noticed James, whose hand as reached back to brush Lily's hand as she took off her cloak. Even his slight touch set her skin on fire.

She heard Sirius Black's voice draw James' hand away. Sirius was complaining about the snow, seemingly hating the cold. Lily bit her lip and looked down at her menu, trying not to think about the boy behind her. He was so close she could've turned and leaned over to whisper into his ear. She was holding in the urge to stand up, take his hand, and lead him into the back of the musty old bar for a quick snog.

By the time Lily's butterbeer arrived she drank it like she was parched, mostly because her mouth felt dry. Sev was prattling on about some weird spell he was working on when their powwow was interrupted.

"Nice to see you two out on a date."

Lily bristled at the voice and all the warm feelings from James disappeared when her eyes fell onto Mason Mulciber. He wore a thick traveling cloak and had a sneer embedded into his pale set face. Lily glared pointedly at him before taking a large swing of her butterbeer, kicking Severus under the table. Sev jumped when her foot connected with his knee and he implored her for a reason with his eyes. Lily motioned at Mulciber pointedly.

"Er," Sev said, rubbing his knee, "Mulciber, what a pleasure."

A loud groan erupted from Lily's mouth and she slid down in her chair. Behind her, she swore she heard James's familiar laughter muffled in a hand. Lily pretended to stretch as Mulciber offer Snape a handshake. Her hand connected with the back of James' head and she smirked when she heard him curse her.

_"Merlin, you two are going to be insufferable."_ Sirius' voice was loud enough.

Lily was going to turn and glare at Sirius but Mulciber and Sev turned back to her. Lily faked a simper of a smile in Mulciber's direction.

"Why are you here?" she asked snottily, "Dragon dung convention?"

Mulciber sneered at her, "I'm here to speak to you, actually."

"Me." Lily frowned, feeling wary, "What the Hell could you want with me?"

Mulciber tilted his head sugestively, "Besides a go under the sheets?"

Lily could've sworn James stiffened behind her and she knew her face flamed as she was drawn back to her memories of the night before. Lily turned in her seat and peered out of the corner of her eyes. James' back was rigid as anything. She made sure her glare to Mulciber was pointed and firm.

"Well you've already convinced half the school we've shagged," Lily said, "so why don't you just keep lying to everyone because your lies are the closest to me that you'll ever get."

"Is that so, Evans?" Mulciber seemed unperturbed by her snark, leaning on the table so he was closer to her, "do you think you're better than the rest of us?"

"I know I am," Lily crossed her arms at Mulciber, disgusted, "now beat it, or I'll get in Auror in here to make you leave."

"It's a free country Evans," Mulciber said smoothly, "I can come in here to talk. That's not illegal."

"What could you possibly want to talk about?"

"Your protection." Mulciber's eyes glinted at he looked her up and down, "Rumor has it you've been going soft. Fraternizing with muggleborns."

"So, what?" Lily looked to Sev for help, but he stayed quiet, "I don't remember asking for your opinion about whom I hang out with."

Mulciber snarled, "rumors are flying, Evans." He said, "rumors have it that you've been hanging out and defending muggleborns. The next thing you know, you'll be marrying one."

Lily flicked a peanut shell from the table, glaring at Mulciber, "and what if I did marry a muggleborn?"

"You marry a mudblood and you'll end up just like Andromeda Black." Mulciber snarled, "A fucking disgrace to her family name and now, a mudblood whore."

Lily couldn't even defend herself, or anyone, really. The table behind Lily made a terrible sound when a glass pitcher dropped off and splattered onto the floor. Butterbeer poured over everyone's feet as Sirius Black pointed his wand at Mulciber. The guests around them stared. The barmaid screeched for Sirius to sit down.

"I heard you talking shit about my cousin." Sirius snarled at Mulciber, "Fancy a duel?"

Lily looked over her shoulder at James and found James staring restlessly at Sirius. It was clear that amongst anger, Sirius was a force to be reckoned with. Mulciber was unimpressed, he just motioned to Black and glanced at Lily lazily.

"And there's another example Evans, a fucking bastard."

James jumped up, face putrid as he ripped his wand from his pocket and pointed it at Mulciber. Now the barmaid was shouting both their names, pushing through the throngs of students and guests watching the fight start. Lily's own hands reached for her wand, ready to back up James and Sirius if need be. The barmaid finally pushed through the crowd and grabbed Sirius and James by the ears.

"You two know better than to start a duel in my pub!" she screeched.

"It wasn't us Rosie!" James complained as Rosie promptly drug James and Sirius out by their ears.

Mulciber snickered, clearly pleased that he wasn't the one being towed out of the pub. Lily, however was furious. She threw down the last of her money, grabbed her bag, and promptly stood up. Her furious glare was traded between Sev and Mulciber. Sev was already looking like he was going to beg her to stay put. She knew better than to listen to _him_ at this point.

"Fuck off." She flipped Mulciber the finger, "I don't want your help, I don't need your help, and I hope when I graduate and get into Auror school I get to be the one to arrest your fucking arse first."

"You little bitch—"

Mulciber pulled out his wand but Severus jumped up and yanked Mulciber's arm down as Lily spun on her hell and stalked out. Lily was aware of Sev calling for her to stop, to think, but she ignored him. She was done thinking, she wanted to follow her heart and it was screaming at her to go after James and Sirius.

She found them thirty paces ahead, going in the direction of the shrieking shack. Lily called James' name and he turned, hazel eyes alert behind his glasses. Sirius turned with James, his cool grey eyes blending in with the snowy backdrop of the trees.

"Whose Andromeda Black?" she asked, or rather, demanded.

James and Sirius shared a look. James shrugged and Sirius made for a roll of his eyes before he considered Lily as she pulled herself to a stop in front of the two boys.

"She's my cousin."

"I gathered that much," Lily said, "What happened to her?"

Sirius stuffed his hands into his pockets as he said, "what's it matter to you?"

"Because Mulciber said I'm becoming like her." Lily said, "And I don't know what she did."

James took pity on Lily, sensing her frustration, "Andromeda was older than us by a few years. A Slytherin. She fell in love with a muggleborn in Hufflepuff named Ted Tonks."

"She—she was a pureblood who loved a muggleborn?"

Lily's kept James' stare, realizing that there had been someone like them once. Her hand ached to reach out and brush his hair from his eyes as she realized they weren't the only ones fighting back against the prejudice.

"She hid it for a while." Sirius said, "But secrets can't stay secret forever."

"How long did your cousin pretend to be a part of the pureblood hierarchy?"

"Until she graduated." Sirius said, "She snuck around with Ted for two years. She was aiming to go her whole life without telling my family about Ted. Andy's parents are especially...strict. They would never accept Ted and she knew it."

"What happened?" Lily asked eagerly, "How did they find out?"

Sirius arched his brow, "Andy got pregnant."

"Oh." That hadn't been the answer she expected.

"Yeah." Sirius stretched, "She refused to tell them who the father was, and then one of her old school friends ratted her out. She was disowned from the family almost immediately. They tried to kill Ted and drag Andy back home for- _treatment_."

Lily felt sick to her stomach, "What?"

"Treatment. Wipe her memory. Turn her into a doll they can manipulate." Sirius curtly tucked his chin, "it's dangerous world outside the walls of Hogwarts and no one in the pureblood line wants a traitor among them. Andy was a traitor the minute she started seeing Ted."

Lily swallowed and caught James' eyes. He was looking at her sadly, as if he too, was connecting and intertwining their stories. Lily's eyes fluttered back to Sirius.

"Are Andy and Ted...still together?"

"They had some difficulties," Sirius said, looking between Lily and James perceptively, "They had to mend physically and mentally. Ted almost died from Andy's father and his family hated Andy for what she put Ted through…not as much as she hated herself though."

Lily turned her eyes, watery, back to James. Her eyes examined the strong curve of his jaw as he shook his head at her, as if knowing what was running through her mind. Lily chewed her bottom lip as she played with all the different ways her relationship with James could be fucked up the moment that she told everyone her secret.

"It's not like that." James said softly, warning her, "It's not, Lily."

Sirius spoke, cutting through their secret moment, "why was Mulciber comparing Lily to Andromeda, anyways?"

Lily turned her attention to James' best friend, "rumors have started spreading about me being pro-muggleborn, apparently."

"Ah," Sirius' eyebrows rose, "Not because you're a muggleborn? Or has no one else figured it out yet?"

Taken aback, Lily's mouth opened and closed as she gawked at Sirius. James had a similar expression, looking at Sirius like Sirius had grown three heads. Sirius just shrugged when neither of them said anything.

"I'm not an idiot." Sirius said, "I mean, I wasn't one hundred percent sure, but based on the dumb looks on both of your faces, I'd say I hit the nail right on the head."

"How?" Lily asked, "Did James?"

"No." Sirius snorted, "I just put two and two together. Especially when James defended you so quickly last week. I just can't believe you're a Slytherin."

"Andy was." Lily reminded Sirius.

"She was sorted into Slytherin too early." Sirius replied back, "I always thought she would've made a great Gryffindor, had she only stopped pretending to be what she thought society wanted her to be."

"How?" James' hands went to his hair as he stared at Sirius, looking exasperated, "You were the first one to figure out Remus too!"

Sirius gave his brother a toothy smile, "I can't help that I'm more observant than you are, Prongs."

"You figured it out on your own." Lily stared at Sirius incredulously, "But I've always been so careful."

"Yeah," Sirius snorted, jutting his thumb at James, "But then somehow my brother went from hating you to snogging you in the same year and I started to try and piece together a very complicated puzzle."

"Unbelievable." James muttered to the sky, "I didn't say anything. I knew Lily wanted to tell people on her own time."

Lily flashed James a warm smile, "How are you so good to me?"

"He's loyal to his core," Sirius waved Lily's question away as if it had no importance, "What I don't know, is how a muggleborn ended up in Slytherin and managed to keep her blood a secret for seven years? I mean Andy was pureblood, so everyone trusted her…but you? A muggleborn in secret?"

"I had a bit of help." Lily admitted.

"James?"

"He just found out."

"Snape." James muttered to Sirius, "He's been sheltering her for years."

"Ah," Sirius looked as if a lightbulb had just gone off in his head, "So that's why you said Snape was controlling the narrative."

"Controlling the narrative?" Lily half demanded, her eyes fluttering between the boys, "What the Hell?"

"Sorry, babe." James looked at Lily apologetically, "I don't think Snape's been particularly truthful with you."

"And I'm going to talk to him about that." Lily promised, "But—"

"Lily!"

Severus' voice, sharp like a knife, cut through the air behind her. Sirius perked up like a dog who'd seen a rabbit. He sent Lily a grin.

"Now's your chance to tell Snivellus."

Lily shot Sirius a glare before turning and waving Sev over. Severus slowed down when he saw who she was with. James and Sirius shifted their positions, both of them flanking Lily from behind. Severus ignored them and instead, glared at Lily.

"Mulciber was just having a laugh." He said, "I told him to apologize to you. Come back to the pub."

"I don't want to go hang out with Mulciber, Sev," Lily snapped heatedly, "I cannot stand him, you know that and yet you repeatedly invite him into my life!"

"Lily." Sev tried to take her hand but she stepped closer to James and Sirius, keeping Sev at bay.

"I'm going back to the castle." Lily said, "you can come, or you can stay but I am not going back to Mulciber"

"I have to stay," Sev said grumpily, "I told Mulciber I'd be back."

"Well then go run back to your new best friend then." Lily said coolly, "I'm going back to the castle."

"Lily," Sev protested, "We were supposed to hang out all day."

"Well, we were, but I don't remember inviting a wanna-be death eater to join us." Lily shot Sev a glare, "Bye."

She started marching in the direction of the castle, seething. She half hoped that James would follow but of course, he stayed with Sirius. Severus didn't follow, clearing finding something more important with Mulciber.

Lily couldn't believe Sev had thought Lily would be okay with Mulciber joining their day. Lily couldn't believe Mulciber offered to help get her, her friends back. Lily didn't want any of her old friends back, they were just as bad as Mulciber. She stomped into Hogwarts castle and warmed herself by the entrance fire, her face set in a permanent frown.

"Lily?"

Mary's angelic voice rang through Lily's head and Lily turned her back to the fire to find Mary standing before her and Marlene McKinnon was at her side. Lily suddenly became very self-conscious.

"Nice clothes Evans," Marlene McKinnon's wide shoulders, dangerous smirk, and intimidating height was enough to throw Lily off guard, "tell me, did you fuck Potter before or after he asked me for a those clothes this morning?"

Lily flushed bright red and Mary hit Marlene's shoulder, "Marley!" Mary pleaded, "Don't!"  
"I—I didn't know these were yours," Lily winced, realizing she'd just lied, "I mean—I did know but James said you didn't mind."

"I didn't when I thought he was going to dress Sirius up in them for a laugh," Marlene crossed her arms and looked like she wanted nothing more than to knock Lily over the head with a bludger bat, "I didn't know he was going to give them to a Slytherin."

Mary tried to come between Marlene and Lily, apologizing to Lily profusely, "I'm so sorry, she's really passionate about quidditch and you're kinda Gryffindor's biggest enemy."

"No," Lily put up her hands defensively, "Sorry McKinnon, James was just doing me a favor. I couldn't sleep in my dorm last night and he brought me clothes for Hogsmede."

Mary stopped holding Marlene back, if only because both girls stared at Lily like she'd was crazy. Marlene stopped pushing Mary out of the way and tilted her head at Lily.

"What do you mean you couldn't sleep in your dorm last night?"

Lily played with her hair, "I sort of voted myself out for the night, until things cooled down."

"What happened?" Mary asked, blue eyes shining with worry, "Did Greengrass do something?"

"Yeah," Lily shrugged, "But it's cool, I slept in the Head office last night."

Marlene pushed her curly hair back in disbelief, "slept in the Heads office?"

Lily shrugged, not looking either of them in the eye, "it was James' idea since I had nowhere else to go."

"Why didn't he bring you to Gryffindor tower?" Mary asked.

"Uh, Mary." Marlene said with a roll of her eyes, "The quidditch team would murder Evans if she even put one toe on our turf."

"McKinnon has a fair point." Lily told Mary, "But thanks for thinking of me."

Mary chewed her lip, "Well, what will you do tonight?"

Lily shrugged, "that depends on how many glares I get at dinner tonight from my own housemates."

"Well," Mary said, putting a hand on Lily's elbow, "if you need a place to sleep, I don't mind sharing and Marlene sleeps with Drocas half the time anyways. We have an extra bed for you."

"Just announce my life to every Slytherin stranger in the hallway." Marlene complained.

Lily shot the brunette a look and Mary laughed when she saw Lily's uncertain gaze.

"Marlene's not as rough and tough as she acts."

"Yes, I am!"

Mary winked at Lily, who finally smiled.

"Thank you for offering." Lily told Mary sincerely, "but I'm a Slytherin and you're all Gryffindor. I don't think it'd be smart for me to join you guys, even for a few nights."

"We won't tell." Mary said warmly, "Just tell us if you ever need a break and I'll convinced James to smuggle you in."

Marlene looked Lily up and down once more before saying, "give me back my clothes in the morning Evans, washed."

"Of course," Lily told the beater, "Thank you again."

"Whatever." Marlene started walking away and called for Mary to join her saying, "you can play negotiator with Slytherins after the quidditch game."

Mary waved happily at Lily before bounding after her friend like a golden retriever might bound after it's spotted its best friend. Lily waved goodbye to the girls and turned back to the fireplace with half a smile on her face. Maybe, she wasn't going to be as alone as she'd originally thought. There were good people here in Hogwarts, there were nice people who wanted to help her get out of the house that no longer felt like home.


	12. King of my Heart

_Chapter 12:_

_Is the end of all the endings?_  
_My broken bones are mending_  
_With all these nights we're spending_  
_Up on the roof with a school girl crush_  
_Drinking beer out of plastic cups_  
_Say you fancy me, not fancy stuff_  
_Baby, all at once, this is enough_

The full moon was strenuous, always pushing the boys to their magical ability. James had a quick turnaround for the quidditch game but he refused to sleep out on a full moon, seeing as he'd never leave Sirius and Peter alone with the young werewolf unless it was life and death. The night went by smoothly, with Moony taking up residence in a snowbank most of the night, playing with Padfoot. When the boys stumbled back into their dorm as the run rose over the horizon, James tasked Sirius with keeping an ear out for rumors about Lily, just in case she did end up speaking to Snape.

He knew she hadn't gotten to Snape, not since Mulciber ruined her plans, still he wasn't sure when she would finally tell her best mate. As far as James could tell, she'd been drifting from him for a while and Snape was trying even harder to keep her at his side. Snape however, underestimated Lily's independent streak. James knew Lily was going to take back her life and become the strong woman he'd known she was.

Meanwhile, James spent the last day before the actual game, drilling his plays into his chasers' heads. The sun was setting beyond the mountains when James finally called practice. Slytherin were showing up for a late practice, something Lily had mentioned previously to James. Her players appeared one-bye-one on the edge of the field when James' players were finishing cleaning up.

Lily found him, wrapping his knee to help aid the pain shooting up his thigh from a nasty fall during practice. The Gryffindor team looked up in surprise, her arrival nothing short of conspicuous to them. Next to James on the bench, Marlene McKinnon spoke up first.

"Fancy seeing you here."

Lily turned her green eyes to Marlene, the kindness in them genuine. Lily pulled her hands out from behind her back and showed Marlene a fresh set of clean clothes. Marlene looked at the clothes then took a look at Lily's sincere face.

"Thank you for letting me borrow them." Lily said to Marlene.

Marlene's mouth remained in a thin line, but she took the clothes from Lily, "No problem." Marlene shot James a look as she walked away, "it's not like I had a choice."

James watched Marlene go whisper to Anna Faith a few feet away before he turned back to find Lily had taken a few more steps closer to him. She was right there, close enough for him to reach out and tuck her red hair behind her ear. Instead, he kept his fingers firmly attached to the towel he was holding and stared adoringly into her green eyes. It really was no fair that he wasn't allowed to kiss her, especially when she was looking so lovely.

"Hi." She offered melodiously, looking up at him through her lashes, "how was Remus last night?"

"He's resting." James replied indifferently, tossing the towel on the bench and then cocking his head at her, "this is awfully bold of you."

Lily watched James motion between them, and the ends of her mouth pulled into a coy smile. Her fingers reached forward, brushing his hand before dropping her hand back to her side. There was humor written in her smile, promising him a clever retort.

"I wanted to tell you that, while I appreciate you having Sirius spy on me," there was sparkle in her clear eyes, "I haven't told Sev yet so you don't need to worry about me."

"You haven't told him yet?" James confirmed, leaned onto his good knee.

"No, I went and visited Juniper."

"When do _I_ get to visit Juniper?" James asked at her.

"Soon." She promised with a slight laugh, "I can't keep talking to you behind her back."

"Outrageous." James agreed, "And Snape?"

She said, "I'm supposed to talk with him after the quidditch game tomorrow."

"Are you going to tell him everything?" James probed suspiciously.

Lily took a deep breath but nodded steadfastly, "Yes."

James reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder. Lily tucked her cheek closer to his hand for a moment before he pulled his hand away. This is what they were now, young and reckless. They were quick stolen looks, and moments of public affection that flickered out faster than a candle in a windstorm. Soon though, they could be everything for each other in front of everyone. There would be no need to hide and no need to pretend they were anything other than completely infatuated with each other.

"The rest of my team will be here soon." Lily took two steps back, away from him, "I'd leave before Rosier and Crabbe get here and try to kill you before the game even happens."

James jeered, "As if you'd let them try."

Lily glanced behind James' shoulder, clearly noting his teammates were watching closely, "I'd let them have a go."

"Would you?"

"Only so I could watch you kick their arse." Lily agreed self-assuredly as she turned back towards the Slytherin side of the stands, "Bye, Gryffindor."

"Later, Slytherin."

James winked when she shot a warning glare over her shoulder at him. She didn't mean it, there was a smile playing on her lips. When James turned back to his team, he wasn't stunned to find them all staring with their mouths gaping open.

Marlene, who'd always been the most outspoken, said audaciously, "what the Hell was _that_?"

James bent down to get his broomstick as he said, "She's had a bad few days."

"Good." Marlene cracked her knuckles, "We've got this game in the bad."

James ignored Marlene and instead called out, "Let's go, Slytherin needs the pitch."

When James made it back to the dorm room, he found Sirius lounging on the bed next to Remus, who looked sallow but better than he had that morning. Remus looked up from his book when James entered and offered a smile when he saw James was covered in grass stains.

"Fall off your broom again?" Remus' voice was always harshest after a full moon and the sound cut through James.

"Have you been drinking water?" James ignored Remus' jest, narrowing his eyes at his friend, "You sound awful."

Remus rolled his eyes but, under James' glare, reached to his bedside and took a gulp of the glass of water. James smirked triumphantly as he tossed his broomstick on his bed and knelt under the bed to grab his broomstick polish. Sirius yawned as he sat up, rubbing his eyes.

"Peter's not back from gobblestones yet?" Sirius noted when he looked around the room.

"Why is Peter at gobblestones?" James asked as he began polishing the oak handle of his broomstick.

Sirius' voice held the impression of annoyance, "I was tasked to watch your girlfriend all day, remember?"

"I asked you to make sure nothing was happening with Snape," James chuckled, "Not _stalk_ her."

Sirius seemed ruffled, "Same thing wasn't it? He was with her all day until quidditch practice and then I left to go get Remus."

"Did I miss something while I was out?" Remus asked, "why did you have Sirius trailing Lily like a guard dog?"

"Lily's a muggleborn." Sirius said indolently, braiding his hair back.

James shot his head up in time to see the book fall from Remus' hands and Remus' mouth slacken. Remus looked between Sirius' cool face to James' aggravated scowl.

"I'm sorry," Remus said, seemingly bewildered, "Lily's a _what_ , now?"

"A muggleborn." Sirius said, speaking as if he was saying the sky were blue, "She's been lying to everyone for years."

Remus looked at James who shrugged his own agreement before offering Sirius a critical look, "Snape's been lying to everyone for years," James corrected, "But that's all about to change."

"Why?" Remus asked, curling his long arms around his legs "Isn't it safer for her to stay hidden?"

"She hates it." James said, "She wants to be herself."

Remus seemed awkward and James figured he knew why. Remus kept his _furry little problem_ hidden from everyone except James, Sirius and Peter. Remus was probably thinking of all the outcomes that would happen if he started telling the truth. Some of which, would be much worse than when Lily finally came clean about her family.

"It's not the same and you know it," James warned Remus from thinking too dark, "none of us think you're a coward for hiding who you are."

"Yeah," Sirius placed a hand on Remus' hand, "We all know it's the others who are cowards for not seeing you for the endearing little wolf you are."

"Little." Remus said in contemptuous tone, "I'm bigger than you."

"Now let's not bring size into it." Sirius waggled his eyebrows at Remus and James snorted, rolling his eyes.

Remus punched Sirius lightly before considering James again, "when is she going to tell people?"

Sirius cut through the silence with his biting tone, "well she hasn't said anything to Snape yet because he looked as miserable as normal today."

"She said she'd tell him after quidditch." James told Sirius, "She stopped me on the field just now."

Remus pulled his book back up, "and why did she tell you first?"

Sirius said, giving Remus a look, "James stayed with her _all_ night, the other night when you were in the Hospital."

Remus sent James a toothy grin, "have a good night then, Prongs?"

"He came back the next morning bright and early to take a long ass shower." Sirius said.

James flushed red and started working on his broomstick again. Sirius and Remus snickered but they couldn't tease James because two seconds later Peter stumbled into the bedroom complaining deafeningly for Sirius.

"Sirius, I'm never going to gobblestones for you again you bloody shitehead. That was so boring!"

"Did you get my money?"

"No, you were wrong! Sarah didn't win!"

James was relieved when Sirius' attention as turned onto Peter. James blatantly ignored Remus who was staring down at James perceptively. Remus' sandy blond hair fell into his eyes as he took another sip of water, seeming smug.

"Why are you looking at me like that Moony?" James grumbled, "Clearly you want to say something."

Remus' grin stretched even father across his face, "I knew it, I knew you fancied her."

Sirius turned away from head locking Peter, sending Remus a glare, "How?"

"All those years of calling each other out?" Remus said, "She'd walk into a room and James' head would start turning, looking for ways to show off in front of her."

James' ears shone bright red, "I did not."

"Merlin, Moony's right." Peter said from Sirius' arms, "All those years you were _flirting_ with her! Not _fighting_ with her!"

Remus saw James' face and chuckled, "we're happy if you're happy, mate." He said, "I just can't believe it took you this long to snog her."

"More than snog her." Sirius derided, waggling his eyebrows again.

"Conversation change!" Peter hollered, covering his ears, "I don't want to hear about it."

James threw a dirty sock at Peter, "I've had to hear every grimy detail about you and Suzie for the last years and a half."

Sirius let out laughter as he unhooked his arms from around Peter, "it's payback, Peter."

The boys settled into Remus' bed, laughing and bickering as was usual. Even though James was happy he was with his mates, his mind couldn't help but wander to the red-haired girl who'd stolen his heart. He hoped she was okay and that she wasn't having too much trouble with her Slytherin teammates.

Match day came, both teams ready, or not. James was jumping at the bit to get his team flying on the pitch. Not to mention, it was the first game of the season, so everyone was jazzed to see who'd win. Slytherin and Gryffindor were evenly matched, even James could admit it, but he hoped he'd be able to score more goals with faster chasers. He needed the edge because with Lily as keeper, instead of seeker, the game could go in any direction.

That morning, he caught her eye in the Great Hall at breakfast. She sent him a quick smile before she resumed speaking with Regulus Black, who looked a little sick to his stomach. Snape caught James staring at Lily and James dropped his gaze quickly. He had to keep his head in the game, not on the girl laughing two tables away.

Nothing could stop James from staring at her when game-time came. He watched her from across the field as she taped up her broomstick. All the yelling in the stands faded to nothing when she looked at him. She smiled warmly at him before her attention was diverted by Regulus Black who was clearly panicking and seeking solace in Lily, the nicest person the on the team. Lily appeared to be soothing Black and James smiled, shaking his head. Even when she felt like shit, she put other feelings above her own.

She was absolutely infuriating in that way.

James worked on his own broomstick, goggles digging into his forehead as his teammates chatted around him. It was Marlene who sidled up next to her Captain, a impressive smile in place of her normally stern character.

"So, when ere you and Evans planning on shagging?" James froze when he heard the devilish tone to Marlene's voice, "or did you already and _that's_ why you needed clothes?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about." James said, slinging his broom over his shoulder.

Marlene whistled, "Sure you don't."

Marlene's derisive laugh followed James all the way to the middle of the field where Madame Hooch was standing with the quaffle. As captain, he stood in front of his team of scarlet and gold. Lily stood across from him in her silver and green quidditch robes. The green brought out the cunning glint in her eyes as she looked him up and down favorably from her broomstick.

"Alright Evans?" he couldn't resist winking her way as he straddled his broom.

She looked more like herself, more than she had in days, when she threw her head back and laughed, "Never better, Potter."

The game started in a blink of an eye. James got hold of the quaffle first but one of the chasers from Slytherin knocked it from his hands to pass it on down towards the Gryffindor goal posts. James spent most of his time barking orders to his teammates as the quaffle shuffled back and forth between Gryffindor and Slytherin. Slytherin scored the first goal and James couldn't resist sneaking a glance at Lily, cheering from her goal posts as her team did a victory lap.

"Aim for Rosier's head." James barked at Marlene who nodded and twirled her bat menacingly.

When James passed by Lily's goal post she gave him a smug grin that he would've loved to wipe off her face, but he could do that later, when they were playing against each other. So instead he shot her the bird and looped back around to steal the quaffle from a Slytherin chaser.

Thirty minutes into the game, Gryffindor and Slytherin were tied twenty for twenty. Up at her goal posts, Lily's hair had fallen from its bun as she snapped at her teammates to get the quaffle from James or die trying. It wasn't that simple. James had his beaters on double time so as he raced down, right to Lily, no one could stop him. He grinned as he started getting closer to Lily. She had her jaw set and her goggles were pushed up on her forehead, making her fringe fly everywhere as she tried to debate which direction James would fly.

James twisted at the last second, trying to throw the quaffle under her legs, but Lily rotated so she was hanging upside down and shot the quaffle down. James' chaser caught it and threw it back to James to go for another toss. James aimed for the far-left hoop and then faked right. Lily wasn't fast enough, and Gryffindor scored another goal. The stands roared as Lily tossed James the look of death.

"I'll get you back for that." She shouted after him.

James winked, "How about tonight?"

Her placated smirk promised him something tonight if they found each other alone in a secluded corner. James was about to turn his broom around when he heard a deafening cheer. Lily perked up and looked around before complaining. James caught what she had, Gryffindor's seeker Anna Faith had spotted the snitch and was racing Regulus Black for it. James cheered for Faith, shouting at her not to make a fool of Gryffindor. Behind him, Lily was swearing Black's name, egging him on.

It was too late for Black, Faith had a head start and caught the snitch twelve seconds later, holding the gold ball in the air for everyone to see. The noise was deafening as James and his teammates flew over to Anna, dogpiling into her in the air. The rest of the Gryffindors flooded onto the field. James wasn't aware of anything to do with Slytherin, all he could see was a bunch of red and gold that chanted ' _Gryffindor_ ' over and over again.

The celebration in the common room started out with James' team-mates singing his praises but soon, it turned into an all-out party. Someone had the wireless turned all the way up and kids were dancing on top of tables and chairs, drinking smuggled-in butterbeer, and someone had started trading cigs near the bookshelves. As Head Boy, James ought to try and calm the party down but Sirius had brought down the firewhiskey from the dorm and now James was trading shots around the table near the fireplace with other seventh years. He turned a blind eye when Marlene passed a shot to young Anna Faith, instead throwing back his fifth shot and laughing as the liquid burned his throat.

Suddenly, a hand was on his shoulder and James looked up to find Mary MacDonald smiling at him.

"Hullo Captain," she grinned, "Enjoying the celebration?"

"Want a shot?" James asked, motioning for Sirius to pour another.

Mary grinned, "No, I need you to come with me."

Everyone around them whistled and catcalled as Mary held out her hand to James. James waved his hands at the on-lookers.

"We're just friends!" he swore as Mary pulled him up off the floor.

"Yeah," Sirius brayed, "James could never land a girl like Mary."

Mary rolled her eyes as she dragged James to the portrait hole, "Stuff it, the lot of you, it's Head boy stuff."

The laughter and talking grew louder as Mary continued tugging James to the portrait hole. James hoped Mary was lying and that it wasn't Head boy stuff because he was intoxicated and not in any place to remotely yell at kids.

"Mary," James complained, "can this wait?"

Mary looked back at James as she pushed the portrait hole open, "No."

And that's when James saw her. Lily was leaning up against the staircase across from the portrait hole. Her smile was wide, red hair tossed over one shoulder. James looked at Mary in question.

"She's been standing out there waiting for someone to get you."

"We have rounds tonight," Lily spoke as James stepped down from the portrait hole, "Remember?"

James was almost positive they didn't have Head rounds, but he didn't mind Lily's random appearance. She was wearing her school skirt and bright green button down, the color bringing out the green in her eyes. James tore his gaze from Lily to look back at Mary, who stood in the doorway with her hand on the portrait to swing it closed.

"Thanks Mary," he said, "Tell Sirius, I forgot I have rounds?"

"Will do." Mary smiled before closing the portrait hole and leaving James and Lily standing in the dark corridor alone.

Lily pushed herself up and off the bannister, "Nice playing, Potter."

"Did you come to kill me on your house's behalf?"

He wasn't drunk but he was close enough, so when she came to stand by him, and he caught the smell of her perfume he didn't stop his hand from brushing against her cheek. She didn't lean away; her hands rested on his hips and kept her chin held high. Anyone could've walked out on them, seen them, but James didn't care.

Her eyes were impressive as her fingers curled into the waistband of his trousers, "fancy a walk?"

And just like when she'd been so confident in the Head office, James was suddenly lost for words. James nodded slowly and she started talking backwards, bringing him with her. Her back hit the staircase bannister and she laughed as James' hands wrapped up into her hair and pulled her forward for a searing kiss. The kick of the firewhiskey was still on his mouth and in his veins as she pulled back and twisted out of his hold.

James glared at Lily as she flashed a sultry grin and started down the staircase.

"Oi!" James called after her, "get back over here."

She laughed mischievously and James started down the staircase after her. He caught her on the next landing, grabbing her wrist before she could run down the dark corridor. James pulled her back into his side and caught her mouth for another kiss. The burning in his stomach was familiar as Lily's fingers tangled up into his curls. They tumbled into the closest wall, James not even bothering to check and make sure the coast was clear.

"You were great today." he said against her hot mouth, "sorry you lost."

"Sorry you won."

Lily didn't seem to mind, as her mouth was grabbing at him, keeping him engrossed on their task at hand. She kissed him like she could taste the firewhiskey on his tongue, barely pausing to breathe as they readjusted their heads. She wasn't playing nice, her hands leaving his hair to travel down his back and onto his chest, fisting the fabric there.

It was maddening, how much he wanted her. He partially blamed the alcohol and partially blamed the way she was overpowering him with her kiss. His hips pushed compulsorily forward, pressing her farther against the wall. She didn't seem to mind one bit and even stood higher on her tiptoes, trying to even the playing field. James' hands trailed from her shoulders, down her back, to her waist. He helped lift her more, using the wall as an anchor. It was better and he ripped his lips from her grasp so he could nip, lick and kiss his way across her curved jaw.

"Fuck." He heard her say and he laughed as he nipped her skin again.

"Ready for payback?" he asked against her skin, more than ready for her.

"No, James, _look_!"

Suddenly, her hands flattened against his chest and she pushed him off. James half expected someone to be standing in the hallway staring at them, mouth agape. Instead, when he turned his vision, he saw what had made Lily's conduct change so quickly. They hadn't noticed them before, they'd been too caught up on kissing. Next to James, Lily's hands went to her hair and he could feel her apprehension mounting.

Lining the hallway, black and red, were flyers and they were all glowing in the dark. James unwound his hands from Lily and walked over to where the flyers began. The hallway, starting at the first classroom, was wall-to-wall paper. James didn't know how they could've missed it. Lily's fingers wrapped around his arm as she came to stand beside them, her green eyes tracing the writing.

JOIN THE REVOLUTION: BURN THE WANDS.

_Rally for Wizardkind!_ _Justice for Purebloods!_

"Burn the wands." Lily comprehension was laced with repulsion, "James, they want to make it so that muggleborns can't have wands."

James glanced down at Lily and placed a quick kiss on her forehead to calm her before pulling back and saying, "We need to go find a teacher, right now."

Lily ripped her eyes from the flyers, lethargic, "Right," she shook herself, "Uhm, I think Professor McGonagall is on duty tonight."

James led the way to the staircase that would take them to the first floor. Lily kept ahold of James' hand and he didn't suggest she let go, even as they made it to the first floor where McGonagall's office was. Lily clearly wanted to hold onto his hand, and he'd let her hold onto it for forever, if that's what she needed to get through the awful things going through her mind.

Secretly, James prayed this sighting wouldn't discourage her from telling Snape she was going to tell everyone else her heritage.

Professor McGonagall was the Professor on duty. Her office door was open, and she looked up in surprise when she heard Lily and James arrive. McGonagall placed down her book and waved her hand so that more candles in her office lit as James and Lily entered her office.

"James," McGonagall looked over to Lily, who was white as a ghost, "You two aren't slated for rounds tonight, why are you out of bed?"

"We found more posters." Lily said, "They're lining the far wall of the sixth floor."

Minerva's lips tightened, "Did you see someone down there?"

"No," James said, "We were a bit preoccupied."

That's when McGonagall's eyes dropped to Lily and James' intertwined hands. Her eyebrows flew up to her hairline as Lily suddenly realized and tore her fingers from James' with a massive blush that brought color back to her face.

"We were talking about the game." Lily lied quickly, "and I asked James to walk me back to Slytherin's common room when we found the, erm, flyers."  
James shot Lily a look, as if to say, ' _nice save'_ and Lily ducked her chin, making her hair form a curtain around her face. McGonagall sighed as she stood up, placing her witches' hat back on her greying hair as she came around her desk.

"Mr. Potter," McGonagall said, "Please take me to these posters."

"Sure." James said, ruffling his hair.

"Miss Evans?" McGonagall's eyes flashed to edgy Lily.

Lily's head shot up, showing off her red cheeks, "Professor?"

"Please return to your common room," McGonagall said, "You can argue about the results of quidditch with my Captain tomorrow, when it's no longer past curfew."

"Yes Professor." Lily said meekly, shooting James a soory glance before racing out of the door.

James wished they'd had more time together but there were more pressing matters at hand than their relationship. James understood when it was time to play and when it was time to work. He had to help Professor McGonagall but he wished he could've asked Lily to stay so she wouldn't have to go back to the Slytherin common room.

"Let me grab my wand, Mr. Potter." McGonagall said, "And then you can take me to the sixth floor—"

Lily voice, echoing guardedly from down the hall, called for Professor McGonagall. James and McGonagall shared a look before James turned on his heel and raced into the corridor. Lily was several doors down, near the entrance to the dungeons. She was staring down the staircase, seemingly immobile. James jogged down to Lily and came to halt beside her, staring down into the gloomy staircase.

The glowing flyers were there too.

James didn't know what to say as Professor McGonagall joined them, so he only pointed down the corridor. Before any of them were able to say anything, Argus Filch came stalking down the corridor from the main staircase. His cat, Miss Norris, was prancing at his side.

"Minerva!" he cracked in his raspy voice, "you'll want to come to the second floor and see this—"

When he pulled himself to a stop with the group already in the hallway his beady eyes caught the glowing flyers. Beside James, Lily pushed her fingers into her hair and looked close to crying again. James wrapped an arm around her shoulders, reminding her that everything was going to be okay. She leaned into his touch as Filch snarled angrily.

"They've covered the dungeons too?"

"And the sixth floor." James stated, realizing that if they'd stopped on each floor corridor, they'd probably find similar flyers.

"Agrippa help us." McGonagall murmured, "they've covered the school."

"I'll get Dumbledore." Filch said gruffly, "He'll be wantin' to see this."

"Please do," McGonagall said to Filch before turning to the Head boy and girl respectively, "I'm sorry, but I need you two up. Go find the other prefects. I want every corridor patrolled for these flyers."

James glanced down at Lily before he looked at Professor McGonagall, "Kip Gansley and Annabeth Clark should be on rounds tonight. We'll go find them and split up."

McGonagall turned to the flyers, "I'll try to start tearing these down."

James led Lily away from the adults, "Do you have any idea how Gansley patrols?"

Lily nodded and glanced at the wrist watch she wore, "it's almost half past, so he's probably made it to the seventh floor."

"We were just there." James said, "Let's see if we can grab him and Annabeth before they move on."

Lily nodded in agreement and James led the way. They jogged partway, James taking them through shortcuts. Lily admired how well he knew the castle as he showed her a passage that led from third floor to the seventh-floor bathrooms.

"How did you know this was here?" she marveled quietly as they felt their way up the pitch-black staircase.

"Remind me one day, to tell you about the map."

"You have a map?"

"Yes." He said, taking her hand and hurrying her along, "well, I did."

The passageway opened up and James pushed through the tapestry covering the entrance into the girls' loo. They raced past the sinks, their reflections looking flushed as they passed the mirrors.

"We're on the opposite end of the corridor," Lily said hurriedly, "So hopefully they'll be really close."

"Gansley won't give us problems do you think?" James asked as they exited the loo and turned to make their way down the hallway.

What they saw, made Lily falter in her tracks and James ran right into her. James looked up and his jaw dropped.

"I think he's going to give us a lot of trouble." Lily murmured to James.

Kip Gansley turned on his heel, dropping the flyers in his arms. James cursed, whipping out his wand at the same time at Gansley pulled out his own wand. Beside Gansley, Annabeth Clark stood with her wand already out, permanently sticking multiple flyers to the wall at a time. Lily was shell-shocked, her expression a mixture of fury and disbelief.

"What are you two doing out of bed?" Gansley shouted.

"What are _you_ doing?" Lily screeched, pulling out her wand to even the field when Annabeth turned her cold blue eyes on Lily and James, "Gansley this is against the rules!"

"Oh it's Evans." Annabeth Clark, a quiet Ravenclaw girl that James had never really spoken too, rolled her eyes, "Rosier told Mulciber you'd gone soft."

"What the Hell are you doing, Clark?" Lily asked.

Clark simpered, "and here I thought you were clever."

Lily exclaimed, "Clark, this will get the both of you expelled!"

"So?" Clark seemed unfazed but James noticed Gansley looked a bit uncomfortable, "we've got better things waiting for us outside these halls, don't we, Kippy?"

"Kippy?" James exhaled, rolling his eyes.

Gansley glanced down at his companion and then back to James, "just let us go and—"

"Let you go?!" Lily cried, "Gansley, you covered the entire school! On prefect rounds!"

"Let us go," Annabeth threatened, "Or we'll tell everyone your secret."

" _Secret_?"

James saw the color leave Lily's cheeks promptly and James felt his heart race. Lily hadn't told anyone yet, so how did Clark have any idea? Clark seemed to realize she had found a weakness so she waved her wand at Lily a bit more aggressively.

"That's right Evans, we saw you."

"Saw me?" Lily blinked rapidly.

Gansley got a little pluckier, "we were at the other end of the hall," his eyes flickered to James, "you two were so caught up sucking each other's faces off, you didn't see us slip up the other staircase."

Lily shot James a quick glance and James shook his head lightly at her. He could see the panic forming in her head, clear as day.

"Imagine what your mate Snape would say if he heard," Clark threatened Lily, "his best friend, fucking around with his least favorite person in the school."

"Gryffindor's captain," Gansley said, following Clarks threats, "I 'spect both your teams don't know. What will they do when they find out their captains are busy snogging in corridors after curfew?"

"Shut up," Lily cracked, sparks flying from her wand, "I don't care if everyone knows about James and I."

James, heart soaring from Lily's proclamation, twirled his wand skillfully as he said, "There you have it, Evans _wants_ everyone to know we snog." James winked at Gansley, "bad luck, _Kippy_."

"Not now, James." Lily snarled at him, not letting her eyes leave Clark.

Clark scoffed, "Kip and I could take you both in a duel with one eye closed."

"You sure about that?" James asked intimidatingly, standing up taller, towering over Clark.

Clark seemed to hear the threat in James' tone, James hoped his reputation as a dueler preceded him. Not to mention, Lily had improved drastically with Rogers as a teacher. Clark seemed to realize she's spoke out of turn, so did Gansley.

Gansley took a step forward, "Take me," he offered, "let Annabeth go."

"I'm not letting either of you go." Lily said crossly, "Do you have any idea what those flyers have done to the muggleborns in the castle?"

"Chased one of them out," Clark said, "Good riddance."

James' brow furrowed, "You two are Ravenclaws."

"And?" Clark asked snottily.

James motioned around at all the flyers, "How did the flyers get into Slytherin house first?"

"We didn't."  
"Someone had too." James said, "Those don't just appear overnight."

Lily gasped beside James, "Oh my god, Clark you mentioned Rosier… _Rosier_ has been putting the flyers up!"

Annabeth's cheeks flamed, "You can't prove that."

"No," Lily said, "But at least I know who to watch closely once you're gone."

"Lily," Kip put one hand out, trying to ease the conversation, "they're just flyers."

"I don't want to hear a word from you!" Lily snarled, turning her fiery gaze on Gansley, "you had the nerve to call me a pureblood snogger, and turns out you like to kiss their arses!"

Clark snorted, "Gansley's smarter than you, Evans. He knows being a halfblood won't save him."

"And you can?" Lily asked Clark musically, "with what? A stupid flyer?"

Clark bristled at Lily's tone, "I'm a _pureblood_."

"So am I," James snarled, stepping in front of Lily so he could aim his wand at Clark, "and can I just say, you're one of the shitty ones Clark."

Clark tried to fire a spell, but James was ready, and he blocked her before aiming a stunner at Clark's feet. The spell hit its mark and Clark fell forward, her face crashing against the stone floor. Lily and James both pointed their wands at Gansley. Gansley's eyes swept back and forth between them, his face bright red.

"Don't be an idiot Gansley." Lily said, "you can't take both of us."

Gansley glowered at Lily, "You're only confident because he's around."

"You know I am an expert dueler," James said offhandedly, "but I won't take all the glory."

Gansley spat at James, "You're a conceited git, Potter."

Lily snapped, "And you're a pathetic conformist, Gansley."

Gansley swung his gaze back to Lily, "I just took a leaf out of your book, Evans."

"My _book_?"

He said smoothly, "I started shagging the purebloods in my house who could protect me."

"I didn't shag any purebloods in my house." Lily hissed through her teeth, "I can protect myself."

"That's not how Mulciber tells it."

James didn't even bother holding Lily back as she stepped forward. Instead, he watched as she flipped her wand up and shot several spells at once. The first missed its mark, but the second and third hit Gansley square in the chest. Gansley dropped his wand as red bumps started riding on his skin. Clearly, she'd gotten him with an itching boil combination as he fell to the floor, writhing as he tried to scratch every inch of his body at once. Lily smirked favorably as she lowered her wand and looked down at Gansley wriggling on the floor.

"I didn't shag Mulciber," Lily stated firmly, "and I would very much like to be excluded from his twisted narrative, one I have never asked to be a part of."

Gansley, unable to talk from the sensation all over his body, spat Lily. James raised is wand but suddenly there were footsteps coming up the hall from the staircases, voices echoing through the corridor.

"I sent them after the prefects, but they didn't come back and— _there they are!_ "

McGonagall had rounded the corner, Professor Dumbledore on her heels. They both took in the scene with wary eyes. Dumbledore examined everything from the flyers scattering the ground to Lily standing over Gansley's squirming body and James' wand arm raised. McGonagall straightened her hat, seemingly positively disconcerted.

"What's happened?" she commanded quickly.

Lily stood up straight and took the itching spell off Gansley with a wave of her wand. Gansley whimpered and grew still under Lily, worn out from all his itching. Lily gestured to the flyers, mumbling something about being out of line. James rolled his eyes, knowing she wasn't out of line at all.

"We caught them putting up the posters." James said as Dumbledore swept forward, "They attacked us."

Dumbledore's beard was tucked into his dressing robe and he smoothed it down as he bent down to pick up one of the flyers. James and Lily stood, stationary, waiting for one of their Professors to speak. Dumbledore looked up from the flyer and then sighed deeply as he saw at least fifty more stuck on the corridor walls.

"Minerva," Dumbledore's voice was calm, "please assist Miss Clark and Mr. Gansley to my office for questioning and then please send an owl to both their parents. I want them sent home."

"Albus," McGonagall seemed hesitant, "They're both first time offenders, you don't honestly think they planned this."

"No," Dumbledore dropped the flyer in his hands to the floor before moving to stand beside Lily and staring down at Gansley who was holding himself up by his hands, trying to breathe normally, "I don't believe they acted alone but at this time, they were caught unaided and the school board wants to see some sort of response from me. Let this be it."

"They're only kids, Albus." McGonagall muttered irately, "it's wrong to wrap them up into politics."

Dumbledore turned and scowled at McGonagall, "I will not continue to allow the school board to try and overturn me, perhaps sending these two home, will remind them I'm not afraid of fighting back."

McGonagall looked uncertain but she nodded her head before waving her wand at Gansley. Magically, Gansley was forced to stand up, he looked a bit green, like he might be sick as McGonagall stared him down.

"Er," Lily spoke up softly as Gansley complained, "I might've jinxed him, so he'll be a bit...off"

"Very well," McGonagall said curtly, "please walk quietly, Mr. Gansley and by Merlins sake, if you need to be sick please aim away from the middle of the corridor."

James snickered and McGonagall sent James a warning look, "Manners, Potter."

Dumbledore was leaning over Clark, "Who stunned Miss Clark?"

James raised his hand slowly, "Er, I did?" he tried to reason, "But she attacked first!"

Dumbledore looked up from his examination, "well done."

James shared a stunned look with Lily. In all his days, James never imagined Albus Dumbledore would ever complement him for stunning another student. James then watched as McGonagall set Gansley on his feet and them she waved her wand at Clark. Clark floated into the air, still stunned. McGonagall walked back down the hall, Gansley wobbling after her and Clark's hair brushing the floor as she floated across the air magically.

"Well then," Dumbledore drew James' attention in, "I know the both of you were probably planning on getting some rest, but I'd like to ask you what happened?"

James opened his mouth to explain but Lily beat him too it. Her face was flushed, but she appeared composed as she told Dumbledore exactly what happened, leaving out a few finer details, like snogging on the sixth floor. James added his two sickles when necessary, but Lily seemed confident enough to talk.

When Lily was finished her story, Dumbledore's face had fallen greatly, "And you're sure Miss Clark mentioned Mr. Rosier?"

"Yeah," James said, "I heard her too."

Dumbledore played with his beard before he said, "Well, Rosier's father is on the school board."

"Sir?" Lily furrowed her brow, "Why are you so worried about the school board? Aren't you Headmaster?"

Dumbledore chuckled as he nodded, "Yes, Lily, but the school board has been against my policies the last few years."

"What policies?"

Dumbledore just stared at Lily meaningfully. James thought about all the posters and the push to get muggleborns out of Hogwarts. The light bulb went off in James' head almost immediately.

"Professor," James spoke, "Do you think Rosier's father is instigating all of the flyers?"

Dumbledore crossed his arms, "That's one of my theories, yes."

"But why?" Lily questioned.

James looked at Lily, "Don't you see?" she shook her head and James explained, "the board is trying to get Professor Dumbledore fired so they can replace him with someone else!"

"But why would they do that?" Lily wrinkled her nose cutely, "what do the muggleborns have to do with this?"

"Because Dumbledore _protects_ muggleborns," James explained, "Hogwarts has always been a safe place for everyone."

"What Mr. Potter means," Dumbledore said, staring at James with appreciation, "is that there are members of the board who wish to make me look bad, so that my removal will prompt a vote for a new Headmaster."

"The posters are to make you look bad?" Lily blinked rapidly, "not to scare the muggleborns away?"

"Oh," Dumbledore hummed, "I am sure the posts are doing both."

"It won't matter anyways," James said, "As soon as Dumbledore leaves, Rosier Sr. will replace him with someone much worse."

Lily was pulling on her hair fretfully, "But that won't happen right?" her green eyes turned to Professor Dumbledore apprehensively, "we can take the posters down and we can expel Rosier and everything will be fine!"

Dumbledore didn't say anything, he had his back to Lily and James, examining one of the posters. Lily pouted when Dumbledore didn't praise her idea to expel Rosier and end the flyers for good.

"He won't expel Rosier," James grasped, "He can't."

"But Annabeth said Rosier's name," Lily said animatedly, "We _both_ heard her."

Dumbledore turned away from the poster, his eyes falling on Lily, who looked ready to start her own war, "I'm afraid Mr. Rosier is protected from expulsion without solid proof, his father would be able to convince the board of governors to call me a liar and—once again—call for my removal."

Lily shook her head, "Surly if we get Clark to admit it, then they can't fight it!"

"Clark wouldn't do that," James said to Lily, "you heard her."

Lily stomped her foot, "This is so unfair!" she threw her hands up in the air, "either way, we lose!"

"Miss Evans while I appreciate your enthusiasm for saving my position," Dumbledore said with a small smile, "we haven't lost yet."

"But what else can we do?" Lily kicked at the flyers under her feet, "I've been trying to get Slytherin to stop with this anti-muggleborn nonsense since before I can remember! These stupid flyers and posters are only getting worse!"

James adjusted his glasses and glanced down at the floor. He had to agree with Lily's frustration, after all, tonight every floor was covered in flyers promoting muggleborn expulsion. There was no telling how the school board would turn that shit into their favor. Rosier's family must've been planning the flyers since last year and were determined to have Dumbledore removed from office.

James' right hand lifted to his hair and he ruffled his agitatedly as he looked around at the flyers lining the walls. It would take them all night, and probably the next day to remove them.

"What do we do about the flyers?" James asked Dumbledore, "They're stuck on with a permanent sticking charm."

" _Viscosum_ a." Dumbledore said.

"Gesundheit."

Dumbledore laughed at Lily, who had her arms crossed and was glaring daggers at the flyers, "No, Miss Evans. It's a spell. When preformed correctly it can undo a permanent sticking charm. The only downside is that we'll have to do one at a time."

Lily moved to start but Dumbledore placed a hand on her shoulder, shaking his head lightly, "we can start in a few hours. You two go get some sleep and meet Professor McGonagall in the Great Hall at three." Dumbledore glanced at his watch, "That gives the both of you a few hours of sleep."

"Are you sure?" Lily asked, "It's going to take a long time and people will see—"

"Miss Evans," Dumbledore's mustache wiggled when he spoke, "I want students to see these posters, so when I speak to them at breakfast, there won't be any confusion."

"But the board—"

"Can't vote me out quite yet." Dumbledore assured her, "Now, back to your common rooms."

James took Lily's hand, tugging her slightly. Lily turned her face to his and James saw a fire in her eyes he'd grown to love. She was so ready to fight, so ready to stand up for what she believed in. James knew he'd follow her to the war lines if he had too.

"Thank you, Professor." James said to Dumbledore, "We'll see you in a few hours."

Dumbledore nodded warmly at James before he turned back to the flyers and started picking up the ones on the ground with a wave of his long wand. James kept his hands tight in Lily's as they left Dumbledore alone amongst all the flyers. When James glanced over at her once they'd started down the hall to Gryffindor tower, he noted she looked worried.

"You okay?" he asked, squeezing her hand.

Lily shook her head, "I don't want Dumbledore to have to leave."

"I don't either," James said, "But Rosier's father isn't the only one on the board, I'm sure some of them still want Dumbledore in control."

"If Rosier Sr. is anything like his son," Lily muttered darkly, "he's not above manipulating people to get what he wants."

James thought of Rosier, who'd once convinced one of his younger teammates to spy on Gryffindor's quidditch team and somehow convinced two Ravenclaw Prefects to work for him. Anger flared in James' chest as he realized he wouldn't be able to face Rosier at all without wanting to punch the idiot in his stupid face. Rosier, Crabbe, Mulciber…all of them were pricks. All the posters, all Lily's anxiety, was stemming from the blokes like them in Slytherin.

And that's when James realized she'd have to go back to them tonight.

James pulled them to a sudden stop, feet away from the Gryffindor portrait hole. Lily looked up at him, perplexed, clearly wondering why they'd stopped away from the portrait hole. The torches on the wall made orange light flicker across her face, painting her golden.

"Stay with me?" he asked, "don't go back there."

Lily's face broke, "James," she understood, "I can't go in there."

"Sure, you can," James urged her, taking both her hands in his and walking backwards so that he was pulling her along to the Gryffindor common room, "no one will be awake, not now. We can sneak up and out before anyone's wiser."

Lily debated him, "Your roommates?"

James scoffed, "They can sleep through anything, trust me."

Lily glanced back over her shoulder and then turned her eyes back to them, "I don't want to go back to Slytherin."

"Perfect," James smiled, "then it's settled."

James turned and tucked Lily behind him, hiding her a bit. James looked at the portrait of the fat lady, who was snoring in her frame. All he had to do was get Lily past the portrait, an easy feat if the fat lady was half asleep.

" _Jinkens Jason_!" James shouted and the fat lady awake suddenly, peering at James suspiciously.

"It's past curfew." The fat lady glanced behind James, blinking sleepily.

"Head business," James lied, "Can we go to bed now?"

"Fine."

James held back a grin as the portrait popped open. He climbed through the hole and guided Lily behind him with one hand. The portrait closed behind Lily and she jumped a bit. The common room was still brightly lit, and James spotted Marlene McKinnon, passed out with Anna Faith on the sofa. There were plastic cups littering the floor and one of James' chasers was passed out by the window, holding a pillow from the sofas. Lily looked around at all the plump sofas and tapestry's in wonder.

"Welcome to Gryffindor common room." He whispered into her ear as he led her through the main common area, "ignore the mess, we were throwing a party."

"Got any of that firewhiskey left?" Lily whispered back as she nodded to the empty bottle on the table they passed, "I could use a decent shot. Or ten."

James chortled, "I'll remember that for later."

He led her up the boy's staircase, loving watching her take everything in with wide eyes. In her green shirt, she looked out of place, but James couldn't help but feel like she was finally where she belonged. Her fingers touched the tapestries they passed on the staircase and she marveled at the warm glow of the torches.

"Here," James motioned to a door labeled for the seventh-year boys.

They entered the dorm and found all the four posters filled except for James' over by the window. Using the moonlight, James guided Lily to the bed, motioning her to get in first. Lily bit her lip and glanced down at her clothes before she kicked off her shoes and climbed under the covers of his bed. James pulled his shirt off and then climbed under the covers with her. He was originally planning on keeping his hands to his sides, but Lily wasted no time, snuggling into his side and tucking her face into the crook of his neck.

"They'll sleep through anything?" she asked James as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

James nodded, his chin colliding with her hair, "just about."

"Good." She pulled her hand between them and James bristled, wondering what on earth she was up too until he saw her fiddling with the watch on her hand. Little beeps filled his ears as she played with the watch.

"What are you doing?" he inquired with amusement.

"Setting an alarm so we make it to the Great Hall in time." She said before dropping her hand to his side and snuggling back into him, "hopefully it doesn't wake your mates up."

"They won't."

He'd never tried to sleep with anyone in his bed, at least not on purpose. He hadn't slept much when he'd stayed with her in the Head office, mostly because there hadn't been room for him to sleep well. Now though, his feet were stretched out and his head was supported by his pillow. James played with the hair curling on Lily's shoulders and listened to her breathing grow soft, loving the feel of her hot breath against his neck. James much preferred sleeping beside her when they were in an actual bed.

James reached up and pulled his glasses off, setting them on his bedside table before reaching up and pushing the curtains to his fourposter curtains closed. When he settled back down Lily tossed one arm over his chest and her fingers tickled him lightheartedly.

"I have to talk to Sev tomorrow and tell him everything." She said, "I can't put it off anymore."

"Do you want me to be there?" James kept his voice low, "I can be."

Lily shook her head, her nose sliding back and forth across his neck, "that would only make him less open to listening." She giggled, "He _really_ can't stand you."

"He's not going to be happy when he hears about us." James couldn't resist feeling a bit smug, even when Lily pinched him.

"He'll have to get over it." She kissed his shoulder, eliciting goosebumps on his skin, "I don't expect the two of you to ever be friends, but I do expect you to tolerate each other."

James rolled onto his side, so he was facing her, he squinted at her through the darkness, "I won't ever be able to tolerate him, Lily."

She pouted her lower lip, "not even for me?"

James leaned in and caught her lower lip with his mouth and tugged lightly before letting go and whispering back, "not even for you, babe."

Lily scoffed as he fell back into his pillows, "You're so lucky I fancy the hell out of you."

"I fancy you too," he mused, "now let's sleep."

"Hey, James?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you, for letting me stay with you."

James reached up his hand, cupping her cheek, "anytime, baby, whatever you need."

Lily leaned her face into his touch lovingly, "you keep calling me, baby."

"Is that okay?" he asked uncertainly, now wondering if he'd overstepped.

She scooted closer, laying her head on his chest, her hair fanning out as she curved her arm around him, "more than okay." she murmured, "you're everything I've ever wanted, I'm sorry being with me has been filled with so much drama."

"This is enough." he promised her, "And I'd wait for you, no matter how long you wanted me to wait."

"I don't want to wait anymore."

She kissed him in the darkness before settling back into him and all at once, it was enough. He loved her for her mind, body and soul. James used one of his hands to drag his fingers through her hair, lulling her to sleep with his ministrations. When he was certain that she'd fallen asleep, he closed his eyes and let himself drift off to her quiet breathing.

 


	13. I Did Something Bad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the CLEAN version of chapter six, for the real smut you gotta go to my fanfiction page (under the same pen name). Thanks to all of you who appreciated my clean version as much as Team Sin was all over the smut!

_Chapter 13:_

_'Cause for every lie I tell them, they tell me three_  
_This is how the world works_  
_Now all he thinks about is me_  
_I can feel the flames on my skin_  
_Crimson red paint on my lips_

Lily woke up to the alarm on her watch beeping through the darkness. For a minute she didn't move, alarmed by the chest she was laying on, until she remembered that James had brought her back to his dorm to keep her safe. She remembered falling asleep to his fingers in her hair, the feeling of his deep breathing lulling her to sleep. She felt warm and loved all at once, he was everything she ever wanted and more.

Lily switched her watch off and peered through the darkness at James' face. He was like his mates, a heavy sleeper. He hadn't even flinched from her alarm going off. He was breathing lightly, his head turned so that his hair splayed out across his pillow. Lily's fingers traced along his chest, trying to wake him up gently. She admired his eyelashes and how long they were, a part of her jealous. If they ever had kids she hoped their kids would get his eyelashes. His everything, really.

"James." She whispered, shifting so she could lean over him, her fingers maintaining their light pattern on his pec.

Nothing.

Clearly, James slept hard when he did fall asleep. Lily bit back a smile as she put her face directly over his, her hair swinging like a curtain over them. She leaned down and pressed her lips against his jaw, kissing him gently. Her hands dug into the mattress on either side of his broad shoulders as she planted incisive kisses along his jaw until she reached his ear.

" _James_."

His arm moved suddenly, looping over her, tugging her back down into his side. Lily's shoulders shook as she laughed softly into his neck. James' other hand looped into her hair, pressing her mouth back to his skin. She got the hint and continued stroking him awake by slowly sliding her mouth all the way to his lips. His eyes were still closed as she kissed him tenderly, tugging on his lower lip with a tiny possessive pull. When she leaned back, he tried to follow but she put enough space between her mouth and his sleepy grin.

"We've got to go meet McGonagall in the Great Hall." She reminded him.

James' groan was loud as Lily rolled away from him, straightening her shirt the best she could. Even though the darkness she could tell that her shirt was wrinkled beyond repair, but she still attempted to not look frumpy. James sat up, leaned around Lily, pulled back the curtains, and grabbed his glasses. Lily kicked her legs over the side of the bed and felt along the floor for the shoes she'd discarded. As she slipped her feet into the soles, James' lips suddenly attached to her neck, sucking gently before letting go.

"I want to wake up like that for the rest of my life."

Lily turned her cheek and grinned at him before standing up and offering him a hand. James sighed deeply but followed her lead. They both checked each other over to make sure they looked semi-presentable before they snuck back out into the common room. At some point, while they'd been asleep, the house elves had come and cleaned up the rubbish from the party. Lily spotted Marlene McKinnon, still passed out on the sofa by the fireplace. She was snoring into the hair of a curly fair-haired witch who Lily recognized as the Gryffindor seeker.

James led the way into the dark corridors and down the secret passage that led to the third floor. He held Lily's hand the entire time, refusing to drop it for anything. Lily didn't mind one bit because it was like an anchor, keeping her brain grounded to the task at hand and not drifting off into fantasyland.

In a few hours, she had to tell Severus about her plan. To say she was nervous was a bit of an understatement, Lily was positively terrified. Lily had known Severus since she was ten years old and she always trusted him like a brother. He'd been the one to tell her about witches and wizards from the very start and Lily knew Sev did care about her. After all, how could he not after everything they'd been through together?

Still, she couldn't help but fear that her coming clean about James and her muggleborn status in the same day…would be the breaking point in a relationship that had been chipped away bit by bit the last few weeks. Severus was obsessed with staying in the good favor of the other Slytherins, Lily knew that. Something about the other Slytherins drew Sev to them, like a moth to flame. It was dangerous and Lily only hoped Sev wouldn't go down a path that would end up with him in Azkaban, or worse. Mulciber was a creep, Rosier was a bastard and there was no telling what Sev had been conditioned to believe after all these years of playing the game.

"You okay?" James asked her as they made their way to the meeting place, "You're pretty quiet."

"Thinking about Severus."

James had enough tact not to say anything, but Lily could see the distaste written all over James' face when the torchlight hit him. James, it seemed, believed the very worst of her best friend. She knew why, their relationship was rocky to say the least…and yet Lily half wished James would assure her that everything would be fine…

The problem was that James would never lie to her, and that was a good problem. He didn't baby Lily at all, in fact, he trusted her and let her work through her own problems. He always offered to help but he wasn't quick to jump in and try and control her actions.

James just let Lily be Lily.

When McGonagall met James and Lily in front of the entrance hall, she wasn't alone. A few other Professors had arrived. Professor Slughorn perked up when he spotted Lily and she waved at the potions Professor kindly. Lily's eyes fell onto Professor Rogers next and the Irish Professor had someone else with her that Lily was excited to see. A very fat, black cat was trying desperately to break free from Rogers' grasp, clawing her way up Rogers' shoulders desperately.

" _Juniper_!"

Lily squealed with excitement when she recognized the cat in Professor Roger's arms. Lily ripped her hand from James' and raced over to Rogers. Lily practically snatched Juniper from Rogers' tight cradle and pulled the obese cat to her chest, cooing into Juniper's black fur.

"Hello sweet, girl." Lily rocked the cat back and forth hazardously as Juniper struggled to escape Lily's death-tight hold, "Have you gotten thinner, my sweet cinnamon bun? I've _missed_ you! Was Professor Rogers taking good care of you? Was she?"

"Your cat needs to go on a diet." Rogers said, brushing Juniper's long black hairs from her plum colored robes, "She kept stealing my teatime ham."

Lily looked up from Juniper to grin ruefully, "Juniper eats her feelings."

"Eats her feelings," Rogers commented cruelly, "Eats my lunch, more like it. I've lost three pounds in the few days this blasted cat had been following me around."

"My mum tried putting her on a diet and it didn't go well." Lily told the Professor with a sigh, "So Juniper gets what Juniper wants."

"So, _this_ is the infamous Juniper." James voice rang, amused, from behind Lily.

Lily turned on her heel, holding the cat up for James to see like she was christening it, "James, Juniper. Juniper, this is James." Lily leaned close to the wigging cat's ear, "We like him."

Everyone watching snickered, entertained as James took one of Juniper's paws and shook his haphazardly, "pleasure, Juniper."

Lily hitched Juniper up higher, her hands hardly reaching around Juniper's girth, "She's great, isn't she?"

"A little rotund." James said as he poked Juniper's belly, "But adorable."

"Are you really fat shaming my cat?"

"Not at all. I like my cats with a few curves." James quipped back with a wink.

"Miss Evans and Mr. Potter, please," Professor McGonagall cleared her throat, "perhaps we can do a cat introduction later?"

Lily flushed red and pulled Juniper away from James' outstretched hand, tucking the cat back to her chest, "Sorry Professor."

"It's my fault," Rogers said, "I brought Evans the cat, Minerva."

McGonagall said tersely, "Well, we can save reunions for later."

"Nonsense, Professor McGonagall," Professors Dumbledore appeared through the darkness, now wearing his favorite purple robes, "in times like this, we must encourage joy, not suppress it."

Professor McGonagall nodded curtly, "of course."

James grabbed the cat from Lily and swung the cat up into his chest gleefully, cooing and making faces that had Lily beaming like it was Christmas. He treated the cat more like a dog, something Juniper was not used too, as James scratched her back haphazardly, but Lily was just happy James was so enthusiastic about Juniper. James handed Juniper back a moment later, the front of his robes covered in Juniper's fur. Lily clutched that cat to her chest, staring at James adoringly.

Professor McGonagall got right into the reason they were all gathered in the entrance hall so early, "As all of you are aware, we need to take all these posters down. Mr. Potter, Miss Evans you have the dungeons."

James nodded but his eyes were trapped on Lily, who was still clutching Juniper tightly, rocking the cat back and forth while breathing in Juniper's unique smelling fur. James seemed charmed, pleased even, by Lily's behavior around her cat.

Once Professor McGonagall was done tossing out jobs for everyone, James turned to Lily with his arms outstretched. Lily eyes James wonderingly.

"What?" she asked.

"Give me Juniper," he said, "I'll take her to Gryffindor tower before we start, so you don't have to send her back to Rogers."

"That would be wonderful, Potter." Rogers said, "that cat is trouble."

"She doesn't mean that," Lily cooed to Juniper as James lifted the large black feline from Lily's arms, "Juniper's perfect."

"And she'll be perfectly fine up in the dorms." James told Lily with a smile, "Plus, if I keep her, that's leverage to keep you too."

"You already _have_ me."

"Just getting some insurance, Evans."

"Is that right, Potter?"

"Stop dawdling about with the cat and get to work!" McGonagall snapped at Lily and James.

With sheepish smiles, they went their separate ways. James met her back down in the dungeons and they began pulling down the posters one at a time. Once they pulled them off, Lily and James burned them right there. The smoky haze in the hallway kept them awake as they worked away. James' shoulders brushed with hers as they worked.

"I gave the cat a spot next to Marlene McKinnon on the sofa." James told Lily, "she's got a soft spot for cats."

"What about you?" Lily asked as she ripped one of the flyers in half, "do you have a soft spot for cats?"

"I'm more of a dog person," James laughed when she hip-checked him for that comment, "But," he added reasonably, "Juniper is about the size of a small dog so it's all the same to me."

" _Size of a small dog_." Lily scoffed but she was giggling, because James was right.

"She definitely not sleeping with us tonight."

Lily arched her eyebrow at James, "Who said I was sleeping with you tonight?"

James dropped his wand and sent her a spirited scowl, "you aren't planning on sleeping in the Slytherin common room, are you?"

Lily shrugged, "I can't just sleep in your room every night until graduation."

"And why not?" James protested as he tore down another flyer, "the boys wouldn't mind."

"I have to face my demons sometime." Lily commented, "that means going back and sleeping in my house once all this blows over."

James stopped working and instead, leaned up against the wall. Lily ignored him, the way he was scanning her up and down. James ruffled his hair casually as she worked hard on one flyer, keeping her face passive.

"You really think it'll all blow over?" he asked softly.

Lily clenched her jaw and let go of the edges of the flyer she was peeling from the wall. Beside her, James shifted to lean onto his other foot, keeping his gaze directed at her. Lily turned her head so she could look into his eyes, hoping he couldn't read the worry and anxiety she was trying to hide.

"You think it won't?"

James pushed his glasses up his nose, "I don't think Severus Snape is going to be very understanding, Lily."

Lily's lower lip wobbled as she faced James and her fears head on, "he's been there for me since I was ten years old, James."

James took in a deep breath before saying, "I want to believe that he'll be on your side, Lily, but I've told you before…Snape's as anti-muggleborn as anyone else in Slytherin."

"No," Lily shook her head, "I know what you think, James. I know why you think that, but why would he stab me in the back while shaking my hand?"

James' hazel eyes were dark and unreadable, "I don't know, because that sounds pretty fucked up to me."

"I think he's just worried I'll stop being his friend." Lily said, "He's never been really good at making friends."

"Mulciber?" James commented moodily, "Rosier?"

Lily closed her mouth and began ripping down posters again. They worked until the number of students passing them for breakfast increased. The Slytherins were vile as they walked past, pointing and laughing at the posters. A few of Lily's teammates shared looks as they passed in the hallway. Marissa Bell, one of Lily's chasers, even stopped.

"What happened?" she asked, pointing to the posters, "Who did this?"

"Two students," Lily told Marissa, glancing back to see James ripping down a flyer with a bit more gusto as Rosier and Crabbe walked past sneering, "they got sent home."

"Good." Marissa said firmly, astounding Lily.

Marissa was a pureblood fourth year Slytherin. Lily knew her only from the quidditch pitch, but she seemed to be a little more accepting than others. Marissa smiled at Lily once more before continuing on to catch up to Regulus Black. A little bit of hope flared in Lily's chest by Marissa's kindness. Marissa was proof that not all Slytherin's supported muggleborn hatred. Lily's stomach growled loudly and James shot her a grin. James stopped ripping down a flyer and took Lily's hand before she could start back up on her paper ripping.

"Let's go get some breakfast."

Lily nodded softly, allowing James to start leading her up the hall.

"Lily?"

Lily turned in James' grasp, her eyes falling on Severus. He was wearing his school robes and his hair was brushed back but his eyes were trapped on the way James' hand was wrapped inside Lily's. Lily felt James tug lightly on her hand only to drop it. Lily glanced at James, only to find him staring at her with raised brows.

"I'll leave the two of you alone." James said, backing away slowly, sensing he was not needed.

"Save me some toast?" Lily asked him.

James saluted her, his hazel eyes trapped on Severus, "it'll be in the Head Office when you're done."

"Thank you!" she called after his retreating back.

"Anything for you, babe."

She flushed and when she turned back to Severus, she could see his brain was going a mile a minute.

_Fuck_.

It was time to come clean.

Lily fidgeted with the edge of her shirt as she leaned up against the wall next to Severus, pushing her hair back distractedly. A few straggling Slytherins passed Lily and Severus but they were too busy staring at the flyers to give anything else much attention.

"This is taking forever," she complained, breaking the tension between her and Sev, "Clark used a permanent sticking charm on all of them."

Severus stared at the ashes on the ground from the flyers that Lily and James had already removed, "Was Clark expelled?"

"Clark and Gansley." Lily nodded, lips thinning, "I'm the one who found them."

"What?" Sev's black eyes glinted at Lily, "How?"

Lily shrugged, "it's a long story."

"Is that where you were last night?" he prodded her, "You went to the library but never came back."

"I ran into James and we talked for a bit," Lily said, watching Sev's face for a reaction to James' name.

As if on cue, Sev's face grew shadowy, "Potter." He spat, "Why would you want to talk to him?"

"Because he's _kind_." Lily said meaningfully.

Sev looked at her like she'd growth three heads, "Are you mad?" he sputtered, "Potter's _kind_?

"Yes." Lily took a deep breath, "And there's something else I need to tell you."

Sev's face whitened and his black eyes were warily searching her face for the answers. Lily looked over Sev's shoulder to make sure the corridor had cleared out before she turned back to talk to him. She recognized the nervous look in his eyes and the way his shoulders seemed to shrink in as she met his gaze. It was like he was dreading whatever she was about to say.

"I'm going to start telling people that I'm muggleborn."

Saying it out loud didn't necessarily calm the butterflies in her stomach, but it still felt good saying it. She'd been holding it in so long around Sev, she felt a kind of relief now. Severus looked as if she'd suggested she was going to learn mermish and live in the great lake. He was shaking his head slowly, disbelief radiating from his every orifice.

"You're going to _what_?" he seethed.

Lily shrugged, stepping away from the wall and spinning so that she now faced Severus, "I'm going to start telling people here that I'm muggleborn."

"You-you-you _can't_!" Sev sputtered, "Lily that's suicide! Why would you—"

All of a sudden, Sev's demeanor froze, he looked as if he'd been hit by a stunning spell. His voice dropped when he spoke again, and his dark eyes were glowing dangerously.

"Potter," he snarled, "What did he say to you?"

Affronted, Lily took a step back, "James didn't do anything except support me."

Now, Sev looked affronted, "You told _him_?" Sev's hand reached out to grasp Lily's wrist, tugging her closer to him, "Lily! How could you?!"

Lily tried to calm him down, "James isn't that bad, if you'd just give him a chance—"

"Him?" Sev coughed, "Potter? A chance? He's bullied me since I was eleven!"

Anger flared through Lily, "Well you haven't exactly been innocent, Sev."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sev asked scathingly.

"It means, I know that in second year you didn't just hit him with any old spell," she ripped her hand from his grasp as he gaped at her, "James told me you hit him... _with dark magic_."

"What?"

"I know that only Dumbledore let you stay because he doesn't like to send students home, unless he has too!"

"Dark magic." Snape scoffed, "that wasn't dark magic. He hasn't _seen_ dark magic."

"Either way," Lily said, waving her hand, "Sev, James is a good guy. You've misjudged each other."

"He wants you to tell everyone that you're muggleborn!" Sev hissed, voice back up a few octaves, "That's hardly _good_ of him!"

"He wants me to be myself!"

"He's bad for you!"

"I think I know what's best for me!"

Lily's hand swept through her hair and she glared at Sev, fuming at how inconsiderate he was being. It was so different from James, who seemed to listen to her and accept her, for what she was worth. Sev always said he'd do anything for Lily, take a killing curse for Lily, and yet here he was not willing to let her do the one thing that would help her.

As if he had a choice.

As if Lily didn't have a choice.

"He wants you to tell everyone so that he can act like a bloody hero!" Sev's voice only kept getting louder, "he'll act like he's protecting you, like he cares about you, but he only cares about himself! He doesn't understand you like I do!"

"He understands plenty!" Lily shouted, "He's been way more supportive than you've been the last few weeks!"

"What?" Snape said, "The last few weeks all I've done is try to clean up _your_ messes!"

"Hanging out with Mulciber and Rosier—"

"I hang out with all of them, for you!" Sev threw his hands up, grabbing at the hair on his forhead, "I do it all for you! So that you won't get picked on! But you're making it harder and harder for me to keep them from teasing you! I have half a mind of letting them, so that you'll wake up from whatever stupid fairytale you're living in!"

Lily faltered back. It was always the same excuse with him. Lily was giving Sev a chance to escape, a chance to be better. She knew he could be better if he just chose the right direction. They were on a forked road and he wanted to go one way, while she wanted to go the other. He'd built his walls so high that she was having to climb to the sky just to please him.

Everything was conditional with Severus, it always had been.

Lily was finally starting to see the truth.

"I'm not giving in, Sev." Lily said finally, "I'm going to tell everyone the truth."

"You can't!" Severus asserted, "I won't let you!"

"Let me?" she wailed in skepticism, "Let me? Sev, you don't have a choice!"

Sev pointed to the flyers, Lily's gaze followed his pointer finger. She took in the flyers that ripped her to shreds on the inside everytime she looked at them. Still, the more she looked at the words, the less they managed to hurt her. She'd been locked in her own little prison cell long enough, and it was there, amongst the words that formed the bars to her cell, that she found herself.

"Why don't you see how awful your idea is?" Sev pleaded, "For the both of us?"

"It's not just muggleborns anymore Sev," Lily stood firm as she turned her gaze back to Sev, "they do all of this to intimidate anyone who stands up for muggleborns, and it's just for fun!"

Sev pulled at his hair again and turned away from her in frustration before turning back around to exclaim, "So, don't give them any more reasons!"

"They've already got their reasons!" Lily said, motioning to her entire self, "My family is a reason! My blood is a reason! My magic is a reason!"

"Exactly, your blood is a spark in this war, Lily," Sev exclaimed, "and if the spark catches, because you're dumb enough to light it, I won't be able to stop the flames."

"I don't need you too stop anything from happening to me," Lily urged, "I don't care anymore, don't you see?"

"Lily don't throw away a good thing," Sev pleaded, bending his knees and staring her in the eyes, "Don't do this."

"Sev, this was a long time coming," Lily cautioned, "You had to know I wouldn't be happy pretending to be someone I'm not, forever."

Sev stood up straight again, face turning passive as his hands fell back to his sides. Lily felt like she was standing on a fault line, waiting for the earthquake to come. James' voice was echoing over and over again in her mind. He'd known Severus wouldn't ever come around. Lily still had hope that she could get Severus to join her side.

"Sev," Lily started.

Sev cut her off, "You do this and there's no coming back from it."

He wasn't going to budge, no matter what she said. He really thought it was a bad idea for her to live life on her own terms. He really was scared that she'd wreck everything.

Lily wasn't the coward, she'd never been.

It had always been Severus.

Lily stood up straighter too, fire burning in her eyes, "It's too late."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Sirius Black knows too."

"What?" Sev's eyebrows flushed together.

"Black knows." Lily said, "And I plan on telling Mary MacDonald too."

"Lily what the Hell?" Severus exclaimed, "They'll tell everyone!"

"They wouldn't! And even if they did, what's the big deal?" Lily asked coldly, "all these years I've been hiding who I am to these people, Severus. I've been living a lie."

"A lie that's kept you safe!"

"A lie that's made me bitter and angry!" Lily felt tears spilling down her face, "Do you have any idea how _good_ it felt when I told James the truth? The relief I felt when I was accepted, finally, as myself?"

" _James_ , now, is it?" Severus noted coldly, "I bet he just loves that.

"Loves what?"

"You, telling him all your secrets."

Lily's nostrils flared, "He's a better man than you're being right now."

"He wants to you tell everyone you're a muggleborn!" Sev exclaimed, "That's not better, Lily, it's bad!'

"It's not bad!" Lily screeched, stomping her foot against the floors.

"Look at these posters!" Sev pointed to the flyers on the wall again, "They want to _burn_ witches like you!"

Lily knew he was trying to scare her into submission again but it just wasn't going to work.

Not anymore.

"They can go ahead and light me up."

Lily tried to turn and walk away, having had enough of Sev for a few hours, but Sev grabbed her wrist. Lily tried to rip her hand away, but he kept a firm hold and dug his heels into the flagstone. Lily shot a contemptuous look over her shoulder at him.

"Let me _go_."

"I won't let you ruin this for the both of us."

"I'm done arguing with you." Lily said, using her other hand to claw his fingers from her wrist, "This is my choice and you can either choose to support me or not."

"Lily!"

Sev tried to grab her hand but she took multiple steps back, shaking her head. Lily turned and jogged away, her feet hitting the stone floor as she ran. The tears streaking down her face were like liquid fire, burning her face as they fell. She felt like Sev hadn't even listened to her. The last few years she'd compromised with Sev and he couldn't even budge a little bit for her happiness.

It was wrong.

She went on a search for James. No one else in all of Hogwarts would understand, but James would. She made her way up the staircase, ignoring the looks she got from other students who saw her tear-streaked face. Lily went right to the Head office, relieved when she saw the door open.

James was inside, bent over the office desk. She saw the rounds schedule under his hands and the toast she asked for, right next to his hand. James turned when he heard her footsteps and his face lit up only to fall when he saw the expression on her face as she entered the office and slammed the door closed behind her.

"I'm guessing it didn't go well?" he asked warily.

"He said he won't _let me!_ " Lily exclaimed, leaning against the door in despair, her heels digging into the floor, "Let me! Can you _believe_ the audacity?"

"Er," James stuck his quill behind his ear as he eyed Lily, "Want me to go kick his arse?"

Lily glared at James as if he were Severus, "I told him I wanted to tell everyone my secret and he said he wouldn't _let_ me. As if I didn't have the choice!"

James sat down on the desk, his long legs reaching to the floor. Lily was fuming, not really able to do anything but replay her conversation with Severus over and over again in her mind. James waited for her to speak again, clearly knowing better than to push her when she was so mad. Lily started pacing back and forth across the small office.

"I mean, I barely even got to tell him anything." She fretted, "he was under the distinct belief that I was doing something bad by telling everyone the truth."

"Bad for who?"

"Me." she stated, "him? You."

James placed a hand to his chest, eyes raising, "I'm bad?"

"I'm bad for apparently trusting you." Lily huffed, stopping just in front of James to take in his expression, "You don't look surprised."

"I didn't really think he'd listen to you." James shrugged.

"Yeah well, he was a bit peeved because apparently you only want me to be myself, because you're selfish." Lily shook her head, "What kind of backwards reasoning is that?"

"I'm definitely a selfish git." James chuckled, "but not for the reasons he's probably listing."

Lily shot him a degraded look before resuming her pacing, "I mean, as soon as I suggested telling everyone, Sev tried using those stupid flyers as an excuse, saying that Rosier and Mulciber and all those prats wanted to _burn_ me."

"And what did you say?" James asked.

Lily pulled herself short and proudly squared her shoulders, "I told Sev they could go ahead and light me up."

James ran his fingers through his hair as he eyed her furious expression, "I bet he didn't like that."

"Of course not." Lily leaned against the door and crossed her arms bitterly, "He's being a fucking prick."

James whistled, " _Ouch_."

Lily stared at James, "You don't sound upset at all."

"I'm actually really proud." James replied, "I have half a mind of snogging you against that door."

Lily managed a half a smile, watching his tongue flick against the corner of his mouth suggestively, "Not yet."

"But there's a chance?"

"A high one."

James shifted on his desk, a suggestive smirk on his face, "Have I ever told you that you're incredibly hot when you're so headstrong?"

"James."

"I mean it, babe." James said, "why do you think I had to leave for a long shower after dueling you in class a few weeks ago?"

Lily shot James a forewarning look, "don't start this now, James, or I won't let us leave."

James leaned back farther on the desk, throwing out a laugh, "is that supposed to turn me _off_?"

Lily snickered, "is that supposed to turn me _on_?"

James use his finger to push his glasses up his nose, "I'm just saying that there's a more productive way to channel that energy besides burning the castle down with your rage."

"Snogging you?"

"That's the idea, yeah."

Lily stopped pacing once more, coming to a stop in front of him. She watched the way the sunlight from the window fell across his features. He looked amused by her frustration, as if she were adorable, even when she was ranting about Severus being a prick. James had a stupid smirk on his face, one that told Lily something about her was making him incredibly happy. She couldn't help but relax under his gaze and he noticed her shoulders drop.

"Feeling a bit reckless?" he asked casually, "because I am."

She did feel reckless and it was all because of him. No matter what, James always knew what to say and how to act. Sure, sometimes he was a bit stupid or a bit brazen, but she wouldn't take him any other way because she was just like him, all passion and words. Lily considered for a moment, as they sat there in the Heads office staring at each other, that he was made for her to fall in love with. No other guy she'd ever met challenged her, understood her, or kept her grounded—James was the only one who'd managed all three.

"You're my best friend." The words tumbled from her mouth without warning, passionately, with the same energy but now directed at James.

James' grin was so wide, he looked rather dazed, "I love you."

Her thumb traced his lip, "that's a bold statement."

"You don't have to say it back, I figured I'd just let you know."

Lily managed a short laugh and a nod before leaning forward and kissing him. James' hands drew her lips more firmly against his before they dropped to her waist, tugging her between his legs. Lily let her fingers wrap into the strands of hair at the base of his neck, sinking into his touch. The quill in his hair fell away as she kissed him tenderly. She felt better, as always, wrapped up in James' arms. Kissing him had become second nature and she reveled as he deepened each kiss.

She remembered, in the back of her mind, where they were. Lily pulled her mouth from his and tried to step out of his arms.

"The door," she exhaled, throwing a look back to the office door, "I didn't lock it."

"If someone even comes looking for us here." He muttered, but he didn't actually seem concerned.

"It's probably a good thing we're both supposed to be someplace else than."

James leaned forward to put both arms around her, pulling her back into him. Lily's lips caught his for another kiss, her tongue tracing along his mouth delicately. James' teeth nipped her in response to her teasing, playfully drawing her lip. His hands were tracing the length of her spine, eliciting goosebumps to rise on her skin as she leaned into her tiptoes.

James stepped into her and turned them quickly so that Lily was now pressed against the desk. The tug-of-war between them ended when Lily's arse hit the desk and she giggled into his mouth. Lily looked down and took a moment to sit on the desk properly before hooking her legs around James and tugging him closer. James clearly liked the setup better, his lips traveled down her neck where he sucked at the skin tenderly.

Lily sighed contentedly and pressed her hand into the back of his head, encouraging him to keep going. James bit her playfully before his mouth traveled back up to hers. Their hot-open mouthed kisses were intoxicating, and Lily found her arse inching closer to the edge of the desk as James' mouth turned her into putty in his hands. James' hands were tangled in her hair, guiding her through his kissing.

Lily's spare hand drifted to his belt, her fingers wrapping around the waistband and tugging his hips into hers. He was growing hard under his trousers, she could feel him pressed up against her, almost insistently. James always liked to prove a point. Lily pulled away, her mouth curved up in a smirk when she saw how flushed he was. James stared at her, absolutely flustered.

"I love you too."

James looked wholeheartedly dazzled by her and his hands ran up and down her arms as they stared at each other. In that moment, none of it mattered. Lily didn't care that Severus didn't trust her because _James did_. James looked up at her with his gorgeous eyes, looking positively love-sick. Lily had to agree, she was love-struck by him too. He was fit and funny, with eyes only for her. He loved her like she was old and new, all at once. Lily's fingers brushed his hair from his face, and she couldn't help but smile at him gratefully as her legs tightened around his waist. Her ankles hooked together as she caught his mouth for another slew of slow and sultry kisses.

James glasses were lopsided on his face as he stepped away from the desk, his hands slipping under her ass to bring her with him. She squealed and wrapped her arms around his neck laughing as he pressed her against the closest wall. They kissed and kissed until they were both grasping at each other's clothes treacherously.

If James was bad, Lily didn't ever want to be good. One of her legs unwrapped from his waist and her toes touched the floor as she rubbed her body against his heatedly. He moaned into her mouth and his hands gripped her arse tighter.

"Don't stop that." He hissed as she arched against him just right, shooting a buzzing feeling right up into her throat.

Lily broke away from his mouth and placed them near his ear, "Can we try?"

"What?" he murmured distractedly as she lovingly ran her fingers through his hair.

"I _want_ you," she rubbed up against him again and she eyes half closed, "right now."

James didn't answer with words, instead he began kissing her slowly again. She fell into him and they didn't stop, the passion and emotions driving her to end with her back pressed up against the wall and his hands all over her. 

"Imagine if someone caught us." 

"We really are the worst Head Boy and Girl ever." She said, with a laugh.

James leaned forward, both of them feeling that shift and digging their nails into each other a bit more, "we'll give ourselves detention later."

Lily kissed his neck, her hands tracing down to chest. She couldn't help but wish they were in his dorm where they could be louder, where _she_ could be louder because with his fingers exploring her, she felt like she was going to scream. Lily swept her free hand through his hair again lovingly as her other hand dipped between them.

"Easy." He laughed, replacing her hand with his own, "You're so _impatient_."

Of course she was, it was his driving her up the wall, literally. It was their first time and it was sloppy but Lily didn't mind. She loved feeling him, aching for him, hearten her name like a whisper on his lips. He finished quickly, pulling away from her almost just as quickly to lean up against the wall for support. James' eyes were closed dreamily as she stared at him.

"Please tell me that was as good for you as it was for me." he said, eyes still closed.

He looked euphoric, absolutely like she'd done all the work, when in all actuality he'd been the one working hard. She laughed as she pulled her hand away and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in for a hug.

"We should practice a bit more on timing."

"I'm sorry," he murmured, "was it that bad?"

"It was fine," She said into his ear, "I loved watching you."

She nipped her way across his jaw once before letting go of him. He stared as she sashayed away from his arms to grab her skirt.

"If you sleep in my dorm tonight, we're going to have a major problem."

"I thought you _wanted_ me to sleep in your dorm tonight." She said coyly as she lifted her skirt over her hips and buttoned it.

"I do," James cleared his throat, "I really, _really_ do."

Lily wanted too sleep in his arms too. She was still aching for a satisfying finish, but they'd already wasted enough time playing teenagers and there were flyers to be taken down. Lily eyed his bum as he hopped into his trousers, smiling tenderly. She definitely wanted another go with him, but they'd be tired by tonight. She wished they didn't have another place to be or she'd ask him to finish the job on the desk. James turned halfway to catch Lily staring at him getting dressed.

Lily suggestively winked, "Kick the mates out for a few hours tonight, Gryffindor?"

James shook his head at her, cheeks flushed, "I might just have too if you keep looking at me like that, Slytherin."

Lily turned and leaned against the desk, surveying the way his eyes scraped up and down her body lustfully. Lily sent James a coy smile as she finished getting dressed, loving how dazed and pleased he seemed. 

"That was amazing."

"You know I'd never had sex." She said, voice steady, "but have you? I remember you mentioned something."

James waved his hand, "I had fooled around with this girl back home."

Lily couldn't help the frown, "A girl back home?"

James smirked, recognizing her frown, "Jealous Evans?"

"I dunno, do the girls back home touch you like I do?"

James looked like Christmas had come early, "you _are_ jealous."

Lily crossed her arms emotionally and glared at James' shoulder, "A little."

James chuckled favorably and leaned forward on the chair he'd sat in, putting his elbows on his knees as he stared at her lovingly, "it was more of an exploration than anything else." He said, "You were much better to me."

"I didn't do anything." Lily said doubtfully.

"You did though." he promised, "trust me. The last girl, she just lay there, didn't try to help me at all."

"Is that why you didn't keep her around?"

"No." James was amused by her jealousy, "She went on some youth mission trip."

"Wait, she was a muggle?!"

James grinned sheepishly, "Yes?"

Lily grinned back, "she had sex with a wizard and doesn't even know."

"I don't think she enjoyed it." James said, as if that made it better.

Lily tilted her head at James, "is that why you were so nervous with me? You think she didn't like it?" Lily shook her head, "You're not a sex god James, but you aren't awful. I more than enjoyed what you just did."

"I just want to make you happy." James admitted, "Because you make me unbelievably happy."

"Back 'atcha Gryffindor." Lily smirked at him as she brushed out her red hair.

"You intimidate me," James said, "even knowing you weren't having sex before...you seem so confident."

"I'm not nervous around you."

"You aren't?" he wrinkled his brow, "at all?"

Lily shook her head, "No," she confessed, "You just—calm me down."

James looked thwarted and Lily felt bad because it's clear he'd wanted her to say that she could barely keep her clothes on around him. While she definitely had trouble keeping her mind out of the gutter around him, it wasn't the same way as he was about her. She walked back over to him and put a hand on his cheek, guiding him up from the chair. Lily wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him tightly, pressing her lips to his collar bone playfully. James' hands ran through her hair.

"I don't fluster you at all?"

"Maybe sometimes but when I'm around you all I feel is...is that same feeling that you get when you come home after a long vacation." she smiled at him, "You feel like coming home."

James arms tightened around her, "you feel like coming home too."

Lily and James stayed there, hugging each other, before she heard James chuckling. She pulled back from him, glaring up at him with distrust.

"What are you laughing about, _now_?"

"Your toast is probably cold by now," James nodded to the desk where Lily's breakfast had stayed, forgotten.

Lily beamed and let go of James to walk over to the desk. She grabbed the buttered toast and bit into it.

"A little cold," she said with a full mouth, "but I got your love to keep me warm."

'Ha. Ha." James rolled his eyes and met her halfway, placing both his hands on her waist, "you're so funny."

"Aren't I?" she said as she took another bite of toast, "I wish everyone else would admit it."

James' expression faltered, "speaking of admitting things…" he said, "what are you going to do about your little secret?"

Lily swallowed before answering surly, "I'm going to tell Mary MacDonald because I know she won't judge me and…we'll go from there."

"So, you're still going to tell people?" James asked.

"Yes." Lily stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek, leaving buttery crumbs on his cheek, "I am."

James smiled as she brushed the crumbs from his cheek with a little giggle. They waited until she was done eating and then they walked out together, hand in hand. Despite having sex for the first time, Lily didn't feel anything different shift between them. He was still magic as he leaned down to press a loving kiss to her temple as they walked down the staircases. They passed by Professor McGonagall who ordered them to get back to work, making both of them laugh and flush as they raced away from her piercing eyes.

Her fight with Sev was pushed far back in her mind, her brain currently running wild with possibilities of ways she could show James just how much she treasured him. She wished they had more time alone, she felt like they'd always been good about finding themselves alone, but she was already wondering when that next time would be.

Lily buried herself into the task in the dungeons, working on getting all the flyers down. James whistled happily as he ripped the papers, his eyes occasionally dragging up and down her form happily as she worked. Once they'd finally finished pulling down the last flyer it was well past lunch. James' stomach as growling and he looked exhausted. Lily rubbed his back as they both made their way up the corridor.

When Slughorn came out of his office as they turned the corner to the stairs, he stopped Lily with a wave. Lily paused, her hand leaving James' back as she came to stand in front of her favorite Professor. Lily saw James' face fall, realizing she was going to leave him alone for a late lunch.

"I'll see you later." James grumbled, stuffing his hands into his pockets and walking up the staircase alone.

"Potter okay?" Slughorn asked her.

"He's just tired and hungry." Lily said, waving James' grumpy demeanor away, "How can I help you Professor?"

Slughorn placed his hands on his round belly, smiling at her, "I wanted to ask how your job applications were coming. I have a few friends looking forward to interviewing you."

"Oh."

In all honesty, with everything going on, Lily had totally forgotten about the stack of papers in her dorm. It was clear by Slughorn's facade that she'd been taking too long filling them out and handing them in. Slughorn didn't seem encouraged by her deer-in-the-headlights look.

"If you didn't want to work potions," Slughorn said slowly, "That's okay, Lily."

"It's not that." Lily said honestly, "Really, Horace, I appreciate you thinking of me."

"You're one of my brightest students Lily," Slughorn said, "I just want to see you succeed."

"I know," Lily promised, "I know you do, and I've always appreciated your kindness but there's a—well I had a reason for not applying that I wasn't sure you'd understand."

Slughorn's mustache twitched, "what wouldn't I understand?"

Lily felt the usual bubble of fear as she opened her mouth to tell the truth, "they wanted to know my blood status, Professor."

Slughorn didn't seem to understand, "But you're half-blood."

"No," Lily shook her head, "No, I'm a muggleborn."

"Oh my," Slughorn gasped and placed a hand on her shoulder, staring at her wildly, "you're a muggleborn?"

"I know," Lily started blurting out her words, "It wasn't my idea to lie to everyone, Sev convinced me to do it. We were worried how everyone in Slytherin would react and then I was worried that what happened to Olivia Swift would happen to me…or what happened with Mary MacDonald. I was a coward but I'm not going to be that girl anymore. I won't let someone else dictate—"

"Lily." Slughorn cut across her monologue.

Lily shut her mouth as Slughorn drew her in for a hug. She found herself relaxing as his arms tightened around her. He smelled like the crystal pineapple he liked to eat, and the scent drew her back to long office days with Sev where they'd brew with Slughorn. He was like a second father to her and she couldn't believe she'd been worried that he'd judge her. It didn't seem to be in his old nature.

"I just want you to know that I'll always be proud of you." He said, "you have always been and will always be one of the kindest and most beautiful souls to be sorted into my house."

Lily pulled away from her Professor, feeling tears prick at her eyes, "you don't care that I'm a muggleborn?"

Slughorn glared at her, "Don't be silly, Lily. I've known you since you were eleven. It's in your nature to help everyone and I hope your friends appreciate your kindness. I certainly bless the heavens for sorting you into my house in first year. I'm so proud to have you in my house."

Lily's smile faltered and her hand pulled at her red hair, "thank you."

Slughorn sensed the remorse in her voice, "you feel guilty."

Lily peered through her lashes, "don't you think I should?"

"Your blood status doesn't make you who you are," he said steadfastly, "you know that right?"

"Yes," she squeaked, "I know, I was just afraid what you'd think of me for lying."

Slughorn shook his head and glared at her sternly, "I could never think poorly of you, Lily, you've got a warm heart and a gentle mind." He said, "I do not judge my students on their blood, only on their behavior and skill."

Lily smiled a watery smile, relief settling into her bones, "you're the best head of house I could've ever asked for."

"I know," Slughorn patted her cheek, "I always knew I got a good one when the hat sorted you."

"Thank you," Lily said to her teacher, "I'm so proud to be one of your students."

Slughorn's smile was wide, "you're going to do great things when you leave this school, my dear, great things."

Lily felt loads better when she made her way to the Great Hall for a late lunch. Her eyes swept the crowded room, searching for James' tell-tale raffled hair and wide-eyed gaze when instead she saw Mary MacDonald waving from over at the Hufflepuff table. She sat next to a red-haired bloke, gangly, with freckled skin. Lily waved back and made her way over to the sea of yellow, ignoring the weird looks she got from classmates on the way.

"You look exhausted," Mary commented as Lily walked up.

Lily managed a half a smile, "I've been up since three this morning, trying to get all those flyers down."

Not to mentioned she'd argued with Sev, had sex with James, and told Slughorn the truth about her blood all in that span of time. Lily felt like she was so tired that if her head hit a pillow, she might not wake back up. Relief had settled into her bones like a sedative.

The boy next to Mary furrowed his brow apprehensively, "have they found the people who did it? The flyers?"

Lily glanced at the red-haired boy, "it was two Ravenclaws, Clark and Gansley."

"Gansley?" Mary sounded devastated, "Oh no!"

Beside Mary, the red-haired male rolled his eyes, "Clark makes sense, she probably made Gansley do it."

Lily looked at Mary's companion with interest, "Did you know Annabeth Clark?"

"We're cousins." The boy enlightened, "And her side of the family is known for being a little crazy."

Mary suddenly realized Lily didn't know the boy and she motioned between them, "Sorry Lily, this is my boyfriend Reg…Reg this is Lily Evans."

Reg stuck out his hand to her and Lily shook it graciously before dropping her hand back to her side and considering Mary, "how're you holding up? With all the posters?"

Mary waved her hand in front of her face inattentively, "I've been called a mudblood enough that it doesn't really bother me anymore."

Where Mary said the word out loud, Lily flinched at bit, the words still triggering her intense wrath. Reg didn't notice Lily's uneasiness but Mary did.

"You really don't like it, do you?" she asked.

Lily had to unclench her teeth to answer, "not a fan, no."

Mary explained quickly to Reg, "Lily's not like the other Slytherins, she's actually really chill."

Reg opened his mouth to say something, but his words were cut short by an arm slipping around Lily's shoulders and drawing her attention away from the Hufflepuffs. It was Sirius Black, of all people, offering her a smile. Lily pushed her hair back and considered Sirius with hesitant eyes. She didn't still quite trust his smiles, not sure if he was her friend or her rival. Still, James trusted him so she made herself do the same.

"Your boyfriend wanted me to tell you he's sorry," Sirius said conversationally, "But he hasn't slept in about 48 hours and skipped dinner in favor of a nap after _exerting_ himself this afternoon."

Based on the way Sirius said _exerting_ , Lily knew James had spilled the news. Sirius seemed entertained by Lily as she flushed bright red. Remus appeared on Sirius' other side, amusement clear as day in his blue eyes.

"We were instructed to eat with you, if you looked miserable." Remus shoved his hands into the pockets of his robes, "You don't look too miserable."

"Probably all that time with James." Peter appeared sniggering as Lily got a brighter shade of red, "endorphins, you know?"

"Yeah James already taken care of her feelings."

Lily was glaring at Sirius and Peter, "Are you both done?"

"I dunno," Sirius said, "I'll let you know later tonight when you join us for bed."

"You're sleeping in the boys' dorm?" Mary looked at Lily with raised brows, "Why?"

Lily swallowed, "Uh, I don't want back to Slytherin's common room."

"Well you don't want to sleep with James' friends staring at your tits all night." Mary said, "Marlene and I told you, you can stay with us girls."

"First of all," Sirius said, "I don't stare at anyone's tits."

"Second of all," Peter added, "James had already laid claim to her tits."

Remus shoved Peter and Sirius before considering Lily politely, "James will be awfully disappointed, he was going to make us play board games tonight with you."

Lily had never had anyone fight for her company before. It was confusing but also nice to feel wanted as a friend. Lily glanced between James' mates and then to Mary, who was giving Lily puppy dog eyes.

"Come on," Mary egged, "Sleepover with me and the girls! It'll be fun!"

Remus chuckled when he saw Lily's torn expression, "I'll tell James you've got plans with your friends. He won't mind. We were just kidding, he wants you to get to know the other girls."

Sirius gave Remus a look, "You're definitely the one telling him though, he'll be disappointed."

"Fine." Remus threw an arm around Sirius' neck and started pulling him away, "Let's go grab some food, I'm starving."

Lily beamed, taking her place next to Mary at the Hufflepuff table, "Thank you."

"No problem," Mary said kindly, "I figured you'd had enough of them."

"I hardly know them." Lily admitted, "Just James."

"Well they're just broodier extensions of James." Mary said, "Especially Sirius."

"I still can't tell if they like me."

"If they didn't, they wouldn't talk to you." Mary convinced her, "Trust me."

Mary and Reg both do their best to keep Lily entertained. Neither of them seemed to notice all the stares being sent their way. It while standing outside the Great Hall waiting for Mary to go to Transfiguration that Severus found Lily. He was looking a bit more nervous than he had that morning.

"Can we speak?" he asked her politely, "Alone?"

He was considerably less angry and Lily wondered if he'd come to apologize.

"Fine." Lily smiled at Mary, who seemed hesitant to leave Lily with Sev's arrival, "I'll meet you up by the classroom?"

Mary nodded, "I'll save you a seat at my table."

Mary left and Sev watched Mary go with dark, dark eyes, "A muggleborn?"

Lily crossed her arms as she nodded, "Gryffindor's are quite nice, you know."

"I know what house she's in."

Lily sighed and considered Severus sourly, "we were wrong about Gryffindor, Sev."

"They're all arrogant bastards." Sev snapped, "what's gotten into you?"

"What's gotten into you?" Lily shot back, "every day you act more and more like Mulciber."

"What do you want from me?"

"I just want you to _support_ me." Lily beseeched, "I'm not going to scream it from the rooftops, but I'm going to tell people I trust."

"People talk."

"Let them talk!" Lily exclaimed and people passing by glanced their way with wide eyes, so Lily lowered her voice, "let them talk."

"Lily," Sev said, "I'm sorry you've been miserable, but telling everyone you're a muggleborn is bound to make you even more miserable."

"So far it's only brought me happiness and new friends." Lily said, "Real friends, who I can trust."

"Like who?"

"Like James!" Lily cried, pulling at her hair and Severus stumbled back, "Severus, he loves me for me! He knows everything about me and he still loves every bit of it!"

"Love?" Snape laughed bitterly, "He doesn't—he can't!"

"He does." Lily stood up straighter, narrowing her eyes, "And I love him back."

"Well that's just—that's just—"

"It's more than _just_." Lily said coldly, "And if you care about me at all, Sev, you'll stop acting like the idiots in our house and start acting more like James."

Lily pushed past, him brushing shoulders with him pointedly. She was done with his prejudice, over his blatant disregard for her feelings. There was once a time she would've believed Sev would do anything to make her happy. This was proof that his words…they were just words. No amount of smooth talking and fumbling could save him now.

Snape stood there, mouth agape. Lily shook her head at him, knowing that he was probably remembering everything they'd been through together. He was probably finding a hundred reasons why she was wrong. Lily didn't care anymore, not about him, because he didn't care about her in the way that he should as a friend. He only cared about himself and how the rest of the school would see him.

"The minute you tell everyone, he'll drop you." Sev said threateningly.

"He's not you." Lily said coolly, "He'll never be like you."

Lily walked away, feeling as if she was burning up from her own words. It felt good, to tell Severus off for all his inconsistences and all his faults. He'd loved telling her all of hers through the years. It was about time he'd understood what he'd done to her.

Lily didn't want to go to class, but she knew if McGonagall caught her skipping, she'd get a detention. Lily refused to go to the Slytherin common room where Severus was no doubt, sulking. Lily saw her salvation in two curly haired girls chatting up the hall just a bit. Marlene McKinnon looked over when Lily called her name, a brow lifted into her hairline.

"Your cat is a gem, Evans." Marlene said warmly as Lily came in front of her and Anna Faith, "Potter made sure to tell me that I couldn't have her."

Lily smiled, "Thanks for watching Juniper, is she still in your house?"

Marlene nodded, "She's in the common room, actually. Potter passed out with her, last I saw."

Lily nodded, the thought of James and her cat cuddled on a sofa an image she saved for a rainy day, "Mind taking me to her?"

Marlene glanced at a watch on her wrist, "Well, I skipped every other class today, guess Transfiguration is going to Hell too."

"McGonagall's going to murder you." Anna Faith piped up, pinching Marlene's arm, "you promised you wouldn't skip."

"It's charity." Marlene nodded to Lily, "she'll be more pissed that our dear old Captain stayed in."

Anna rolled her eyes but leaned up on her tiptoes to press a hasty kiss to Marlene's cheek. Anna waved politely to Lily before heading in the direction of the charm's classroom. Marlene stared after Anna for a moment, seemingly entranced, before she turned to Lily perceptively.

"Ready?"

"More than."

Marlene led the way up the staircases, her long legs making her faster than Lily. Marlene didn't speak to Lily again until after she'd gotten them into the portrait hole of Gryffindor tower. Lily had a feeling that Marlene still wasn't completely sure about Lily, but she seemed to be making an effort. Her effort was appreciated when they walked through the portrait hole together and into the warm Gryffindor common room.

The common room wasn't empty, some student were leaving for class. Greta Catchlove spotted Lily, thanks to Lily's Slytherin shirt, and looked affronted.

"What is _she_ doing in here?" Greta screeched.

"Shove off Catchlove," Marlene said, grabbing Lily's shoulder protectively as she shoved them through a crowd of Gryffindors, "She's here on Head business."

Catchlove didn't look convinced but she allowed Lily to continue inside. Marlene waited until Catchlove was out of earshot before mumbling grumpily about the seventh year. Lily smiled at Marlene's few choice words as they walked over to a sofa near the fireplace where…low and behold…James was curled up with Juniper.

"I wish I had a camera." Lily said out loud, in love.

James' face was buried into the cat's fur and he had one arm hanging off the couch as he breathed deeply. The light from the windows reflected across his whole body, giving him a natural glow that made him seem almost angelic. Marlene, who didn't seem to find the scene endearing at all, glanced at her watch.

"I reckon I have time to make it to class before McGonagall closes the doors."

Lily grabbed Marlene before she could go, "Thank you."

Finally, Marlene offered Lily a friendly smile, "take care of my Captain, Evans. We've got to beat Hufflepuff in a few weeks."

Marlene stalked off and Lily walked around to the other side of the sofa. She knelt down next to James' head and looked around, making sure no one was staring her down. Luckily, the entire common room had emptied, classes pulling students back to their studies. Lily scratched her nails across his scalp, pressing her lips to his.

This time, James woke up almost instantly. He grinned against her mouth and moved, effectively knocking the poor cat off the sofa. Juniper yowled and scratched at the sofa when she woke up mid fall. Lily laughed and called out, reaching out to grab Juniper round the middle and set her gently on the ground. Juniper glared at them both, seemingly pissed, then stalked off across the common room.

"Sorry June!" James shouted, bolting up, glasses lopsided on his face.

Lily laughed as she reached up to straighten his glasses on his face, "She's fine. Cats always land on their feet."

"But we were becoming friends."

"Give her some ham tonight from dinner and she'll love you again." Lily said, standing up onto to fall on the sofa next to him, kicking her legs onto the coffee table.

James slung an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his side, "How was the chat with Slughorn?"

"That was fine." Lily said, "It's Snape that I want to murder."

Lily had never called Severus other than his first name. Even James looked a little startled by her sudden distaste. James brushed her hair back and stared at her.

"You talked to him again?"

"Yes." Lily turned her face to look at him, feeling the same angry spark through her body, "to say he's mad is an understatement."

"Bastard." James muttered, "He can't be that mad, can he?"

Lily slumped, defeated, "it only went south when I mentioned you."

"Yeah," James chuckled darkly, "I'm sure he loved hearing me—wait—did you tell him? About us?"

"Yes." Lily said, "and he hates me."

James pressed a kiss to her temple before saying softly, "how could he not want to see you happy?"

Lily shrugged, "I have a feeling it's all because of me…because I wouldn't keep the secret to save face."

James shook his head, "I'm sorry, Lil."

Lily sighed and turned to face James, pouting her lip a bit, "I haven't busted into tears yet, so I'd say today was a success."

James smiled, his teeth glimmering white, "plus, you know, we had some fun too."

Lily gave him an astute smile, "you certainly had lots of fun." she said, "Told your mates and everything."

James winked and leaned in to press his lips to hers for a chaste kiss, "want to go upstairs and try again before dinner?"

Lily laughed as he didn't even wait for an answer. Instead, James grabbed her hand and yanked her up from the sofa, his energy suddenly returning. Lily tugged him back softly.

"I'm really tired James," she said when he glanced back at her disappointedly, "maybe we could finish that nap you started?"

James sighed but slowed down, casting her a nod, "that's better than nothing, I suppose."

Lily patted his chest as they made their way up to the dorm. She fell asleep in his chest, her fingers buried in his shirt. She dreamed, a lot, but when she woke up, she couldn't remember anything of her dream. Instead, she woke to a scathing laugh as a door slammed.

"Merlin they couldn't have just one go!"

"Sirius, they're fully clothed."

"Oi!" Lily popped open an eye to find Sirius sweeping across the room towards them, "Lovebirds! It's dinnertime!"

Lily grumpily removed her head from the crook of James' neck and James shifted underneath her, mumbling about wanting to sleep for five more minutes. Lily was taken aback when Sirius piled into bed with her and James, coming in between them to shake James insistently.

"Wake up Prongs! I'm starving!"

Peter spoke up from the end of the bed, "He's been complaining since Transfiguration."

"That's right after lunch?" Lily questioned.

Peter grinned, "He's got the stomach of a dog."

"It's true," Sirius said, patting his belly worriedly, "if I don't eat, I'll die."

Lily laughed when James pushed Sirius off, "I'm getting up!"

They boys joked and roughhoused all the way to the Great Hall. She'd gotten so caught up in the boys and their clownish behavior that she didn't notice all the staring. It wasn't until they'd made it into the Great Hall that Lily noticed the talking got noticeably lower. Lily looked away from James and realized there were people pointing at her. Lily took a step back, bringing James' attention to her.

"What?" he asked.

Lily didn't know and that's what scared her the most. It was like being in a horror film, goosebumps growing on her skin. James nudged her forward, keeping his arm at her waist. Sirius led the way, but he'd stopped joking, his nose was in the air as if he smelled something was off. Remus also looked vaguely uncomfortable.

They passed the Slytherin table on the way to the Gryffindor table. Slytherins put their bags on empty chairs at the sight of her and a few sent her a rude hand gesture.

"No mudbloods at this table." Amelia said as she kicked her legs up over the free spot next to her.

Startled Lily asked, "What?"

"Is this true Lily?" one of Lily's chasers, Marissa, held up a piece of parchment.

James snatched the parchment from the girl. It was like everyone was holding their breath as Lily leaned over James' arm to see what everyone was looking at. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw her name in the upper left-hand corner. The word muggleborn was highlighted and bolded in red right underneath her name.

It was a copy of her student file.

"I—" Lily looked at James, "James? Did you tell someone?"

James shook his head quickly, "No, I didn't!" he said, "I swear!"

Lily rounded on her chaser, "Where did you get this?"

"Wait," the chaser looked surprised, "It's true?"

Lily opened her mouth, unable to answer as someone else at the Slytherin table shouted at the top of their lungs that it was true.

_"Lily Evans is a muggleborn!"_

_"A mudblood in Slytherin?!"_

_"Who the Hell let a muggleborn be Slytherin's quidditch captain?"_

A kind of panic took over Lily and she ripped away from James. She almost stumbled into Peter, who caught her just in time. Lily barely took in another breath before she ran from the Great Hall. She didn't even notice his dark stare following her, she didn't even realize he was there, until he called her name as she raced for the doors.

Behind Sev, everyone in the Great Hall was watching. Professor McGonagall and Professor Slughorn were making their way from the podium as people watched with anticipation. No one knew what was about to happen. Not even Lily.

Severus pointed to the rest of the school, "I told you, _look_ , I told you people would act like shits!"

And that's when she knew, that's when her world came crashing down around her as she realized that Severus Snape had outted her. He'd done it, after everything he'd said, he'd done it. All because he wanted to have control over her, over the situation. Lily reached into her skirt, pulling her wand and aiming it at him. Snape took a step back, putting his hands up in defense.

"You did this?"

"I wanted to show you how awful people are." Snape said, black eyes glinting, "I had to show you! But now that you know, we can still—"

"It wasn't your secret to tell!"

"Lily, you made me do this!"

"No!" Lily screamed at him, making a few students close by jump, as sparks flew from her wand.

Snape stammered, clearly realizing she was beyond angry. A thousand different spells raced through her mind, each of them not strong enough for the anger, betrayal and disgust she felt towards Severus Snape. Snape took another careful step, reaching out to grab Lily's wrist, as if to lower her wand.

"Get the fuck away from my girlfriend, Snape." James appeared and tucked Lily into his arms proudly, glaring down at Snape.

James wasn't alone. Sirius, Remus, Mary, and Peter all positioned themselves behind Snape, ready to jump to Lily's defense. Snape sneered at James, looking like he'd love nothing more than to shove James off the astronomy tower.

"She doesn't need you to swoop in and save her, Potter." Snape said cynically.

"No, because that's your job isn't it Snape?" James snarled, pulling Lily closer, "Since day one, you've manipulated Lily into believing that only you knew what was best. You were scared she'd outgrow you!"

Snape pulled out his own wand just as Professor McGonagall pushed her way past Sirius, "You don't know anything Potter!"

"That is enough!" Professor McGonagall cried, pulling out her wand, "Everyone needs to go back to their seats."

"No!" James said brashly, letting go of Lily to point his wand at Snape's chest, "I'm not done!"

"Fuck you, Potter." Snape shoved off McGonagall's firm grasp on his shoulder, "she's going to die because you convinced her to tell everyone!"

"She didn't tell everyone, you bastard!" Sirius snapped defensively, "Looks like you did!"

James added sourly, "the only reason that Lily stayed your friend _after all this time_ is because she trusted you and guess what? You just lost all of her trust!"

"We're friends." Snape demanded, "You can't just—I didn't—"

"I want all of you back in your seats in five seconds or you'll all get detention." McGonagall demanded, "Now!"

Lily took James' hand and they walked past Snape, both of them glaring at him. She knew Severus wasn't worth it. Karma would get him back in the end.

"You—" Snape gasped, "you have no idea!" he turned his gaze onto Lily desperately, "I am the only one here who knows you! I made you who you are!"

When Lily didn't answer he shouted desperately, "You _owe_ me!"

Lily examined him ominously with a curve of her head, "I owe you nothing."

Snape's shoulders fell and he stared at her, eyes burning dramatically. Lily ought to have been scared by him, but she wasn't.

She saw Severus Snape for what he really was, a coward.

"Tough luck Snivellus." Sirius said twirling his wand and smirking happily as he passed by Snape, "sounds like Evans just told you to go fuck yourself."

"You're a fucking bastard, Black." Snape snarled.

"Hey!" Lily rounded, taking everyone by surprise as she took Sirius' hand and defended him furiously, "Don't you dare call him a bastard in front of me again!"

"Why? You love him too?" Snape bit back as his eyes dropped bitterly to her hands entwinned in theirs.

"More than you ever loved me." Lily said, attitude sharp.

Snape, who was overcome with anger, sneered, "You think I'd ever love a mudblood like you?"

Lily jumped forward, aimed to hurt Snape like he'd hurt her, but James was the one to hold her back. It was Mary MacDonald, sweet Mary, who came to Lily's rescue. Mary raised her wand from behind McGonagall and hit Severus square in the chest with a stunner. Snape dropped to the floor, his nose hitting the tile. McGonagall spun to find Mary staring defiantly at Snape.

"Miss MacDonald!"

"Sorry Professor," Mary said, her voice remaining in its pleasant tone despite the fury on her angelic face, "but he had it coming."


	14. Un(dress)ed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're looking for the prefects bathroom scene in it's entirety, that can be found on my fanfiction page under the same pen name. Remember to thank GryffindorMischief who saved the scene from the cutting edge floor.

_Chapter 14:_

_I'm spilling wine in the bathtub, you kiss my face and we're both drunk_   
_Everyone thinks that they know us, but they know nothing about_

_All of this silence and patience, pining in anticipation_   
_My hands are shaking from holding back from you_

_Say my name and everything just stops…_

James should've known something was wrong the second he walked into the Great Hall. He'd been feeling on top of the world, what with Lily on one arm and his boys all around him. He had everything he ever wanted, but he should've known that nothing could keep him on top of the world with Severus Snape playing his game. The tremendous high he'd been feeling was swooped from his stomach immediately as they passed the Slytherin table. Lily's house-mates had never been nice to the Gryffindors to begin with thanks to the Quidditch rivalry but the way they were looking at Lily was akin with murder.

Finally, they passed one of Lily's old mates called Amelia Greengrass and she was the one who spoke, bringing an end to the confusion. Amelia's cold eyes were drawn on Lily as if Lily were carrying some deadly disease.

"No mudbloods sit at this table." Amelia said as she kicked her legs up over the free spot next to her.

"What?" Lily was obviously startled, drawing a bit back on James' grasp, making his hand fall from her shoulder.

Another girl stood up, a pretty brunette with Carmel colored eyes. James recognized her from the pitch, but he couldn't remember her name, only that she was a chaser on Lily's quidditch team.

"Is this true, Lily?"

The girl held up a parchment that Lily just stared blankly at. Frustrated, not knowing what was happening, James yanked the paper from the chaser's hand. His eyes fell onto a student file, he'd seen plenty to know what they looked like. It took a few seconds for his brain to register that it was Lily's student file. The word muggleborn was highlighted and bolded in red right underneath her name.

Lily had peered over James' shoulder and her voice was strangled as she asked, "James, did you tell someone?"

James didn't waste a second and shook his head cursorily, "No, I didn't! I swear!"

Lily rounded on her brunette chaser, worry flooding her face, "Where did you get this?"

"Wait," the chaser looked alarmed, "It's true?"

Lily opened her mouth, unable to answer, as someone else at the Slytherin table shouted at the top of their lungs that it was true. An all-out riot broke out and people started standing on their seats to try and get a good view of the drama unfolding by the Slytherin table.

_"Lily Evans is a muggleborn!"_

_"A mudblood in Slytherin?!"_

_"Who the Hell let a muggleborn be Slytherin's quidditch captain?"_

James couldn't hold Lily in place, he wasn't quick enough. He'd gotten distracted by the shouting. That left Lily enough time to get away. She almost stumbled into Peter, who caught her just in time. Lily ran from the Slytherin table as soon as Peter righted her. James saw Snape move quickly from the end of the table and he stood up taller, realizing something bad was about to happen. Lily didn't even make it to the doorway, she didn't even realize Snape was there, until Snape called her name as she placed one foot in the Entrance Hall.

"What's going on?" Mary MacDonald had appeared among the mass confusion, grabbing Sirius' shoulder, "Why is everyone calling her a muggleborn?"

"Because she is." James answered before racing up the row after Lily, who was about to be cornered by Snape.

Professor McGonagall and Professor Slughorn were making their way from the podium as people watched the drama unfold with anticipation. Snape was saying something to Lily but James couldn't hear him with his back turned. James could tell by Lily's expression when she rounded on Snape that she was horrified by whatever he'd said. Lily reached into her skirt, pulling her wand and aiming it at her old friend. Snape took a step back, putting his hands up in defense.

"You did this?"

Lily's deceived tone was unmistakable. James was close enough to hear Snape now.

"I had to show you! But now that you know, we can still—"

"It wasn't your secret to tell!"

"Lily, you made me do this!"

"No!"

Lily screamed at Snape, making a few students in the entrance hall jump, as sparks flew from her wand. Snape faltered, clearly realizing she was beyond livid. Snape took another careful step, reaching out to grab Lily's wrist, as if to lower her wand. James wouldn't ever let him touch her again if he had anything to do with it.

"Get the fuck away from my girlfriend, Snape."

James pushed into the Entrance Hall past Snape, tucked Lily into his arms proudly, and glowered down at Snape. James wasn't alone. Sirius, Remus, Mary, and Peter all positioned themselves behind Snape, ready to jump to Lily's defense. Snape sneered at James, looking like he'd love nothing more than to shove James off the astronomy tower. James wished Snape would try, if only to give James the proper excuse to do the same.

He'd been right about Snape all along. A part of him felt bad that Lily was having to face this now, what with everything else going on, but the other part of James was relieved he could finally say every nasty thing about Severus Snape that had been running through his head since he started catching on to Snape's control. Snape sized James up, as if aware of all the things running through James' head in that particular moment.

"She doesn't need you to swoop in and save her, Potter." Snape said mockingly.

"No, because that's your job isn't it Snape?" James snarled, pulling Lily closer to his side, "Since day one, you've manipulated Lily into believing that only you knew what was best. You were scared she'd outgrow you!"

Snape pulled out his own wand just as Professor McGonagall pushed her way past Sirius, "You don't know anything Potter!"

"That is enough!" Professor McGonagall cried, pulling out her wand, "Everyone needs to go back to their seats."

"No!" James said brashly, letting go of Lily to point his wand at Snape's chest, "I'm not done!"

"Fuck you, Potter." Snape heaved off McGonagall's firm grasp on his shoulder, "she's going to die because you convinced her to tell everyone!"

"She didn't tell everyone, you bastard!" Sirius snapped defensively, "Looks like you did!"

James added sourly, "the only reason that Lily stayed your friend after all this time is because she trusted you and guess what? You just lost all of her trust!"

"We're friends." Snape demanded, "You can't just—I didn't—"

"I want all of you back in your seats in five seconds or you'll all get detention." McGonagall demanded, "Now!"

James lunged forward but Lily suddenly took James' hand. He looked down at her and saw her expression was cold and impassive. It was clear she didn't want to start a fight, not right now. They walked past Snape, both of them glaring at him. James knew that she was stronger than Snape or anyone gave her credit for. She'd get through this and Snape would regret it every day for the rest of his bloody life.

"You—" Snape gasped after Lily's cold shoulder, "you have no idea! I am the only one here who knows you! I made you who you are!" Lily pointedly stared ahead. When Lily didn't answer Snape that only infuriated him more. He shouted desperately, "You _owe_ me!"

Snape's shoulders fell and he stared at Lily, eyes burning vividly. James braced himself, prepared to return to a dueling stance if Snape tried anything stupid. In front of him and Lily, James saw Remus and Sirius had the same ideas, both of their wands were still pointed at Snape's back. All the boys had been in enough fights to know never to turn your back on a snake.

Lily stopped short, curved her head to Snape, and said threateningly, "I owe you nothing."

James looked over at the red-haired girl smugly, his mouth growing into a small, but proud smile. Snape seemed absolutely startled by her shrewd retort. Remus looked as if he were about to start a fan club in Lily's name just for making Snape's face contort so eccentrically.

"Tough luck Snivellus." Sirius said twirling his wand and smirking favorably as he tossed Snape a sneer, "sounds like Evans just told you to go fuck yourself."

"You're a fucking bastard, Black." Snape snarled.

"Hey!" Lily rounded, taking everyone by surprise as she took Sirius' hand and defended him furiously, "Don't you dare call him a bastard in front of me again!"

"Why? You love him too?" Snape bit back as his eyes dropped bitterly to her hands entwinned in James' and Sirius'.

"More than you ever loved me." Lily said, attitude sharp.

Snape, who was overcome with anger, scoffed, "You think I'd ever love a mudblood like you?"

Lily jumped forward, aimed to hurt Snape like he'd hurt her, but this time James was the one to hold her back. It was Mary MacDonald, the girl who'd been dragged to Hell and back by wizards like Snape, who came to Lily's rescue. Mary raised her wand from behind McGonagall and hit Severus square in the chest with what appeared to be a stunner. Snape dropped to the floor, his large hooked nose hitting the tile first. McGonagall spun to find Mary staring defiantly at Snape.

"Miss MacDonald!"

"Sorry Professor," Mary said, her voice remaining in its pleasant tone despite the fury on her angelic face, "but he had it coming."

James had half a mind of naming his future kid after Mary MacDonald after watching her stun Snape without any reservations. In fact, he was about to walk over to her and offer her a high five. Of course, McGonagall didn't seem as impressed with Mary as James was as she rounded on the blond-haired witch. Mary refused to back down or admit she'd done anything wrong, instead, she twirled her wand before tucking it back into her robes. Professor McGonagall looked around at her students, realizing that everyone was watching with bated, breath, waiting for her ultimatum.

"I want all of you in my office, immediately." McGonagall looked at the Gryffindors and Lily respectively.

Sirius, who always liked to join in on the fun queried, "how immediately is _immediately_? I was hoping to get some mashed pot—"

" _Now_ , Black!" McGonagall pressed her fingers to her temples as she knelt over Snape's immobile body with Slughorn.

Beside James, Lily shifted against his hold, her green eyes trained on Snape, stunned on the floor. No doubt, she was wishing she'd thrown the first strike, but James had held her back. James didn't regret doing it, she was overwhelmed and filled with a lot of emotions. It was better to let her simmer down than kill Severus Snape in front of everyone in the school.

As much as he'd normally encourage anything that involved Severus Snape getting what he deserved, he didn't want Lily to get into trouble.

Remus guided the way to Professor McGonagall's office, motioning for everyone else to follow. Sirius let go of Lily's hand, settling in between Peter and Remus ahead. Mary took Sirius' abandoned spot and Lily looked at her new friend apprehensively.

"I'm sorry," Lily told Mary hastily, "I was going to tell you, I swear it!"

Mary, Merlin bless her, simply took Lily's hand as they all walked together, "you don't have to apologize or explain."

Lily blew her fringe from her eyes, "but I lied to you."

Mary shook her head gently at Lily, "It's fine Lily. I understand why you'd want to hide your blood."

"I didn't want too." Lily told Mary, "Sev started the lie in first year, and I never corrected anyone, because he said it was best for me."

"Yeah, cause he's a git."

James had to hold in a _'I-told-you-so'_ in Lily's general direction. Lily squeezed his hand, as if knowing what he was thinking as they walked to McGonagall's office. Sirius was about to open the door when, from behind, Lily's hand was ripped from James' hand. James turned to find Severus Snape, eyes wild and reanimated, trying to drag her away from the Gryffindors. It was clear McGonagall had woken him up from the stunner and Snape's first thought was to beg and plead for Lily to come back to him.

Lily wasn't having any of it, "Let me go."

"Lily!"

"Save your breath," Lily muttered, yanking herself from Snape's grasp and into James' awaiting arms.

"It just slipped out!" Snape pleaded, "I didn't mean it!"

"You call every one of our birth a mudblood, Snape." Mary snarled, "Why should Lily be any different?"

"Shut up, MacDonald."

"I swear to Merlin," Sirius said suddenly, grey eyes affixed to Snape like a dog to prey, "You open your arse trap of a mouth, Snape, and I'll personally see to it that you never can again."

"Enough!" McGonagall demanded, "or I'll personally let Mr. Filch know he has help to clean out the lavatories for the rest of the year!"

McGonagall and Slughorn turned the corner, noticeably, both of them were exasperated. McGonagall pushed through the students for her door, unlocking it with a wave of her wand and motioning for everyone to enter. James retook Lily's hand and shot Snape a glare, daring him to react. Lily yanked James forward, forcing him to follow her into the office instead of punching Snape's nose into pieces.

McGonagall's office seemed small with all the Gryffindors and two Slytherins piling inside. McGonagall sat down at her desk as one hand reached into her robes. She pulled out one of the copies of Lily's student files, slamming it on the desk in front of them. Behind James, Slughorn closed the office door and sidled along the wall to a place where he could watch.

"Who leaked Miss Evans' student files?" McGonagall looked around at the students but didn't wait for any of them to point fingers, "this goes against about fifteen school rules, I am absolutely disgusted. With everything that's going on this was the last thing this school needed."

"It was Snape, McGonagall." James spoke up passionately, "he did it!"

Snape looked at James with very bit of repugnance, "I didn't do that, Potter's lying!"

"Fucking Hell," James complained out loud, hoping Professor McGonagall wasn't falling for Snape's deceptions.

Sirius sneered apathetically at Snape, "you're a pathological liar, Snivellus."

"Why would I leak student files?" Snape was lying through his teeth, like he always did, "I'm her best friend."

Lily's jaw dropped open and she lashed out, "we are not best friends!"

"You can't just throw away everything because of one stupid word that slipped out!"

"It's more than what you said! It's what you did!" Lily's green eyes were fiery, "We're done, Severus!"

"No!" Snape rounded on Lily, seeming to forget he was surrounded by people, "We're not done until I say we're done!"

"If I kick his arse, will I get double detention?" James asked Professor McGonagall, letting go of Lily's hand to crack his knuckles.

"Do you hear that?" Snape indicated to James, "He's always picking on me! If anything, he should be the one in trouble!"

"No fighting!" McGonagall slapped her hand on the desk, "this is a school and I except my students, especially my Gryffindors, to remain professional! Not fighting like muggle schoolboys!"

James settled for sending Snape a threatening glare, but it wasn't as satisfying as much as punching him would've been. Lily turned completely away from Snape and crisscrossed her arms. McGonagall's nails clicked against her desk as she surveyed the students.

"Who did it?"

"I told you." James muttered, "It was Snape."

"Well, if no one wants to own up to this incredible breech of privacy," she said, "I'll just—"

"It was Snape." Lily interrupted definitively from beside James, "He gave my student files to everyone, I know it."

McGonagall's eyes narrowed and she looked at Snape who seemed to slink towards the shadows under her gaze. James enjoyed seeing Snape, finally, look guilty. He'd expected Lily to forgive him. He was dead wrong. McGonagall shared a look with Professor Slughorn before looking at Mary.

"Miss MacDonald, you will be serving detention with me, next Friday. Bring your quill and leave your wand in your dorm. Understand?"

Mary mumbled something of an acknowledgment, her heel scuffing the floor. James still kept an eye on Snape, not trusting the Slytherin for anything. McGonagall noted James was still glaring at Snape.

"Potter." McGonagall snapped, dragging James' attention back to her beady eyes, "do not do anything stupid and make me have to ban you from the quidditch field for a week."

"Yes ma'am." James said, clenching his jaw, dropping his gaze to the floor.

McGonagall motioned to Lily's student file on the desk, "Professor Slughorn and I want to speak with Miss Evans alone, the rest of you are dismissed."

Beside James, Lily shifted anxiously. James wished he could stay standing at her side, but he knew by Professor McGonagall's look that there was no way he'd be allowed to stay. James shuffled out of the office, but he didn't go far. Instead, he set up camp across from the office door, much like he had when Lily had gotten called into Rogers' office. That night seemed like years ago when in all reality it had only been about a month.

Sirius, Remus, Peter and Mary all waited with James. Snape was smart enough to not wait around, outnumbered, and he stalked his way down the corridor. Mary watched Snape go, his black robes billowing like wings behind him.

"I should've jinxed him into next year." She grumbled, "lying arse."

"I think stunning him was brilliant." Peter said from Sirius' side, "although, I was hoping he broke his nose with that fall."

"I was hoping his broke his neck." Remus said, sniffing, "no such luck."

All the boys and Mary stood staring at the office door. The hallways were getting darker as the windows dimmed. James fiddled with his frayed shirtsleeve as they waited, worried for Lily and agitated about Snape's reactions. Mary seemed nervous too, she kept playing with her hair fretfully.

"What do you think they're asking her?" Mary asked, "do you think, they think that she did this?"

"No," James said, "I think they're just trying to get Lily's side of the story."

"Snape is such a prick." Remus said unkindly, "he couldn't just let Lily tell everyone herself."

"He doesn't want to let her do anything that would hurt him in the long run." James muttered.

"It doesn't sound like that nice of a friendship." Mary wrapped her arms around herself, "A muggleborn, sorted into Slytherin, and directed to believe she was better off hiding by one of Mulciber's little shadows."

Peter looked over heads to consider Mary, "I just can't believe Snape outed her."

"I can," James said gloomily, "He was losing control of her, he knew it, so he tried to make her go running back into his arms for support."

"Had she done that before?"

James nodded, "Before she had us."

Mary squared her shoulders, "Well she does have us now, and that means she doesn't need to go back to Slytherin ever again."

Peter's lips thinned, "do you think the Slytherins will try to hurt Lily?"

No one spoke and then Sirius said, "I wouldn't put it past Rosier to do something aggressive, he's grown up in Mulciber's shadow his whole life."

Mary suddenly shivered beside James and her voice was levelheaded when she said, "Lily absolutely cannot go back to Slytherin house."

James agreed but relayed to the group what Lily had said to him before in the Head office, "She thinks she's got to go back."

"Why?" Mary asked, appalled, "she doesn't have to do anythingshe doesn't want to do."

"Something about facing her demons?" Jams rolled his eyes, "Bullocks, of course, but she's hardheaded."

"Bullshite," Sirius crossed his legs casually, "She goes back to that dorm and she won't make it out alive, I swear to Merlin."

"You think someone would actually try and _kill_ her?" Peter asked Sirius, alarm inscribed on his pointed face.

"Maybe not kill her," Mary said softly, "but they certainly wouldn't be scared of trying to lay a hand on her."

James side glanced at the witch at his side. Everyone knew that Mary MacDonald had been assaulted by Mason Mulciber in their fourth year. Mary had come a long way, mentally, since then. She had a strong group of women in Gryffindor who helped her through some pretty dark times, but James knew it still bothered her. He could tell just by the way she hung her head low in conversations that included mentions of Mulciber.

James didn't ever want to see Lily have to go down the same dark and twisted path as Mary. Mary seemed to have the same thoughts and feelings as James.

"She's going to be fine," James said it out loud, but it was more to himself, "if anyone can come back from the face of prejudice, it's her."

"If she's anything like me," Mary said, "she'll thank her stars for today, because it'll make her stronger."

"She's already strong." James said, "now she just gets the chance to show the everyone how strong she really is."

The office door opened, and Lily walked out, flanked by Professor McGonagall and Professor Slughorn. Everyone leaning up against the wall sat up swiftly. James hesitated to run to Lily when he saw that she still had tears running down her cheeks. When her head lifted and her eyes met his, James could tell she trying to put on a brave face. Professor McGonagall's eyes fell on the Gryffindors, all waiting for someone who had once been their rival.

McGonagall's gaze softened and she tightened her comforting grip on Lily's shoulder, "I assume all of you have been waiting for Miss Evans?"

"Where's Severus?" Slughorn asked, noting one dark and brooding absence.

"He stalked off." Mary said, "in the direction of the Slytherin common rooms."

Slughorn nodded before looking down at Lily assuredly, "you have nothing to worry about, I'll take care of everything."

Lily nodded wretchedly, dropping her eyes to the ground again, "Thank you, Professor."

"You did the right thing," Slughorn said to Lily, "I'm only sorry it had to end this way."

Slughorn withdrew his hand from Lily's shoulder and bowed his head at Professor McGonagall, "I'll meet you at Dumbledore's office with the boy."

James and Sirius both perked up and glanced at each other with Slughorn's promise to McGonagall. Did that mean what James thought it meant? Could Snape be getting expelled or suspended? When Slughorn was out of earshot, McGonagall turned back to her students, her eyes falling on Mary.

"Miss MacDonald, please go to the kitchens and find Meredith the house elf," McGonagall ordered, "tell her that Gryffindor's seventh year tower will need an added fourposter and that Miss Evans' things are to be removed from Slytherins dorms and put into Gryffindor's dorms instead."

James felt jubilant as he realized what was happening, "You resorted Lily."

Professor McGonagall angled an eyebrow at James, "Don't be ridiculous Potter, we don't re-sort. I've simply moved Miss Evans for her safety."

Lily lifted her eyes to James, "they don't think I'll be safe if I go back to Slytherin."

"We could've told you that." Sirius said smartly.

"I did tell her that." James muttered to Sirius who snickered, nudging James' side.

"She's already tuning you out and it's only been like two months."

Mary raised her hand halfway to draw attention back to her, "can Peter come with me, so I don't have to walk alone?"

Professor McGonagall nodded and Peter fell into step beside Mary. The two Gryffindors waved at everyone else before walking in the direction of the kitchens to find the house elf. James watched them go before checking on Lily. She was still staring at her shoes; seemingly still upset despite the news that she wouldn't have to go back to Slytherin's house.

"What's wrong?" James asked, "Lily?"

Lily looked up, her green eyes were swimming with tears as she assumed, "they're going to expel him for this."

Snape.

They were going to go expel Snape.

McGonagall's lips were pursed, "Not now, Miss Evans. We must go to Professor Dumbledore and tell him the story you told me."

James watched as Professor McGonagall led Lily away from them. James' back hit the wall again as the weight of Lily's words radiated through him. Remus looked just as stunned. Sirius looked like it was the day of his biological mother's funeral.

"Good fucking riddance." Sirius said, "I've been waiting for that arse to slip up in front of teachers for years."

James ruffled his hair as he said in wonder, "Expelled."

"It only took seven years for that git to get what he deserved." Sirius looked like he was about to parade down the halls with balloons and fireworks.

"Now if we could just get Rosier and Crabbe expelled." Remus said, of the other Slytherin boys.

"Dumbledore can't expel Rosier." James said.

"Why not?" Both Remus and Sirius looked outraged at the suggestion that Dumbledore didn't have the power to get rid of whatever student he wanted.

"Dumbledore's been fighting with the board." James conveyed, "he told Lily and I so."

"What's what got to do with Rosier?" Sirius asked.

"Rosier's dad is on the board." James said.

"Voldemort's got his spies everywhere." Sirius sounded as disgusted as James felt.

"And Snape's gonna be one of them, probably."

"No doubt if Lily had stayed friends with him," Remus said darkly, "She would've been dragged into the wrong side."

All three boys shared serious looks, as if agreeing to never let Snape get his greasy hands on Lily ever again, not even for a second. It was like the pact they'd made as kids promising to protect Remus until it killed them. This was a similar, silent promise, one that was built on the same idea of prejudice and aversion.

"Come on," Sirius said, motioning to the boys, "We can wait for everyone else in the common room."

James nodded and leaned up off the wall. The boys silently followed Sirius back to the common room, lost in their own thoughts. James wished he had been allowed to go with Lily to Dumbledore's office. He wished he'd managed to watch Snape get expelled from Hogwarts. Still, James couldn't help but worry about what expelling another student would do to Dumbledore's reputation among the board.

James knew that without Dumbledore, Hogwarts would become a hellscape for people like Lily. No doubt all student files would be leaked, and everyone would find out about Remus too. James glanced sideways at his best mate, the kindest and gentlest man he'd ever met. Remus might've been a werewolf, but his personality was less wolfish than Labrador retriever. No one would understand though, if Remus was outted like Lily.

At least Lily had people like her.

Remus was one of a kind.

Until James was sure Dumbledore was actually going to be overthrown from his Headmaster status, he wasn't going to tell Remus the whole story about the posters and Rosier. Remus didn't need that kind of stress in his life, he was already sick enough half the time.

"What do you think Snivellus will do?" Sirius asked suddenly as they walked through the Gryffindor portrait hole, "Do you think he has a job awaiting him in Voldemort's inner circle?"

"I wouldn't be surprised." James said sourly, "prat."

Remus itched himself through his bulky jumper, "I don't fancy going out into a world where Snape is no longer held back from studying darker magic."

James agreed, "Snape'll be deadlier than ever."

"He'll go for Lily first." Remus said, "and come for James or me next thanks to the willow prank."

"Let him come for any of you," Sirius said valiantly, falling into the sofa in front of the fireplace, "I'll put that snake in his place."

"You'd have to get in line." James said, sitting next to his brother, "I have a feeling Lily won't be very inexpressive surrounding the blood-feud after this. She's a fighter, she won't sit back now and let people try and shut her up. Not anymore."

"And what about you?" Sirius cocked a brow at James as Remus sat on the coffee table across from them, "are you going to follow Evans into her battle?"

"I reckon I'll follow Lily wherever she wants to go." James said, "and I want to fight in the war anyways."

"I'm with you mate." Sirius said, saluting James with two fingers, "I'd walk right into Hell with you, you know that."

"Yeah?"

"If there's a war you want to go fight," Sirius leaned over to ruffle James' hair, "I need to be there to make sure you don't get yourself killed, or mum will kill _me_."

Remus shifted next to James, nodding his head energetically, "you both know I'm all about helping misunderstood witches and wizards."

James tossed an arm over Remus' shoulder, "I love you, Moony."

"Thanks Prongs. Love you too, mate."

"What am I? Chop liver?" Sirius jested.

James then looked at Sirius, "You're okay, I guess."

Sirius rolled his eyes and shot James the bird, "I take it back, I'll let Snape take a piece of you just for that."

"You don't mean that."

"When have I ever lied to you?"

"When we were fourteen you told me that the Swift Broomsticks were breaking up." James reminded Sirius, "you said the lead singer was going solo."

Sirius grinned wickedly at the memory, "You cried, I remember."

"A lie." James reiterated, "considering they're still together."

"It was a little white lie." Sirius waved his hand, "Other than that I've been honest our whole life."

Remus and James shared a look but before they could team up to tease Sirius together, the portrait hole opened. Mary and Peter were the ones stumbling through, followed by a house elf with a half-bent ear that was pierced with a hoop. James recognized the branding style and his swallowed hoarsely, knowing this elf had once been at the service of the Rosier family. Only the Rosier family branded their house elves like cattle. James' mum had once gone on a lecture for three hours at tea time after she saw one of the elves at her job in the Ministry.

Another surge of dislike for Rosier flooded through James and he wished that Rosier wasn't protected by his dad. Blood purity was a curse and James wished that Salazar Slytherin had never based his entire house around the thought that some wizards were better than others just based on who their family was. James' own family, despite being pureblood, was never considered 'pure' simply because Potter was a common name. James' Great Grandfather Harry also led a pro-muggleborn political stance, making the Potter family increasingly unpopular among blood purists.

James, clearly, took after his Great Grandfather.

Mary went up the girl's staircase with the elf, talking in a low voice. Mary waved once at the boys on the sofa, but she seemed distracted. Peter made his way over to his mates. Peter sat next to Sirius on the coffee table, kicking his feet out from under him.

"What'd I miss?" Peter asked, always nosy.

"Snape's getting expelled."

Peter perked up, "Finally!"

"And we all just pledged to follow James into the warzone after Hogwarts." Sirius said coolly, "Should you wish to join the rebel cause."

"We're fighting in the war?" Peter's sand bond hair flopped into his eyes, "right out of Hogwarts?"

"Apparently." Remus said.

Peter seemed unconvinced, "And what's the plan? We're going to track down Death Eaters, alone and arrest them ourselves?"

"Something like that." James grinned when he saw Peter's skepticism, "want to do something else with your life, Peter?"

"Yeah," Peter muttered, rolling his eyes to the ceiling, "I'd like to live a little, maybe have a family, before we go chasing down Death."

"Death Eaters." Sirius corrected Peter.

Peter glared at Sirius, "no, I meant what I said." He said as Remus snickered, "I don't fancy dying at the hand of a crazed lunatic like Snape…or You-Know-Who…before I turn twenty-one."

"What's the point of living if we don't have something to die for?" James asked Peter, holding up a fake sword and brandishing it at his friend, "We're all being chased by Death anyways. That's what dad always says."

"Oh, dad's lectures…" Sirius leaned back onto his palms and imitated Fleamont Potter's voice, " _Sirius, James! Do not be afraid of Death! The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death! As long as we pass down our morals, Death cannot win and we will instead greet him like an old friend, blah, blah, blah!_ "

James kicked out casually at his brother, "you almost recited that lecture perfectly, Padfoot."

Sirius' grey eyes narrowed amusedly at James, "I have been privy to Fleamont Potter lectures since I was fourteen."

James was about to retort that he didn't know Sirius was capable of remembering much besides his hair care routine when a black cat suddenly jumped into his lap. The cat was fat and recognizable instantly. James' hands reached to scratch Juniper on the head favorably.

"Hello, June." James cooed to Lily's cat, pleased that the cat had recognized James, "How ya doing?"

It was Sirius' appalled tone that made James lift his head, "What. Is. That?"

Sirius' eyes were trapped on the cat, looking more like his Animagus than ever. In fact, James was half prepared to witness Sirius let out a bark. Instead, Sirius' lip curved over his top teeth, almost like a snarl. Juniper ignored Sirius and instead started kneading James' leg contentedly.

"This is Lily's cat Juniper." James said, "the fattest cat you will ever meet."

"I think she might be Peter's spirit animal." Remus said, poking the cat's rotund belly.

"I found the real love of my life." Peter laughed, patting his own round belly.

"Lily's a cat witch?" Sirius' grey eyes looked deceived, "you fell in love with a cat _lady_?"

James flushed pink but he laughed, "it's just one cat, Sirius!"

"It's a demon summoned from Hell, James." Sirius disagreed, backing away from Juniper like she had fleas, "why are you petting it?"

Remus sighed and placed a hand on his forehead, muttering something like 'stupid, dog' under his breath. Sirius hated cats and they'd always joked it was an attribute to his Animagus, a giant black dog, but James couldn't help and wonder if Sirius only hated cats because his biological mother had loved them. She had, at last count, four cats.

"I'm gonna laugh if he ends up loving that cat one day," Peter mocked as Sirius made the sign of the cross at the cat.

"Juniper is more the size of a small dog anyways," James said, "so does she really count as a cat?"

"Look at her beady eyes, glaring at me!" Sirius exclaimed, pointing to Juniper's face, "Yes, she really counts as a cat! Wait until you try to sleep with one of those demons! They'll come and sit on your face! Smother you in your sleep!"

Remus interrupted quickly, "if I have to hear that story about that cat who smothered you at six, one more time, I'm going to wipe your memory."

"Moony." Sirius said, quite earnestly, "I almost _died_ because of one of those furry monsters!"

"You're going to die by an entirely different furry monster if you don't shut up." Remus threatened and Sirius clamped his mouth shut.

James and Peter snickered into their hands. Gloomily, Sirius crossed his arms and glared at the cat in James' lap. James laughed as the cat got up, seemingly pacified by James' attention, and jumped to the floor. They all watched as Juniper strutted right in front of the flames of the fire to warm up.

"James."

James winced, looking to his left, to the side of the sofa. Greta Catchlove was smiling widely at him. Sirens went off in his head and miraculously, all his mates started grinning as if James had said something funny.

Luckily, Greta wasn't able to get out anymore words.

Professor McGonagall walked through the door, Lily at her side. McGonagall spoke to Lily for a moment before leaving. Lily stepped farther into the common room. James noted that her robes were no longer Slytherin colored but they weren't Gryffindor robes either. Instead, she wore plain robes with the Hogwarts crest. Greta had noticed where James' attention had been drawn.

"What's _she_ doing here?"

James ingoted Greta and stood up, waking right over to Lily. She looked overwhelmed and when she spotted him coming right for her, she let out the breath she'd been holding. She raced forward to meet him for an embrace in the middle of the common room. Everyone watching grew silent, James ignored their stares. He tucked his chin on the top of her head, rocking her back and forth consolingly in his arms. Her face pressed into his robes and her arms remained wrapped around his neck.

"I'm so sorry, Lily." He murmured softly, "I'm so, _so_ sorry baby."

Her shoulders relaxed in his arms, but she didn't seem to be sobbing. When he pulled away to get a look at her face, she was biting her lip. James pushed her hair away from her face, trying to read the emotions written there. Her arms unwound from around his neck and her hands came to rest on his arms.

"He's gone." She said, "Sev—Snape—he's gone."

"Are you going to be okay?" James asked carefully, not wanting to upset her any more than she'd already been hurt.

Lily rubbed a tear off her cheek as she said, "I don't know."

"Want to talk?"

"Anywhere but here."

James led her out the portrait hole and down the staircase just enough that they were separated from everyone else. They'd see anyone before they heard anything Lily was saying as James leaned up against the bannister to listen to her talk. Lily crossed her arms over her stomach and rocked in place.

"I'm scared."

"Why?" he furrowed his brow, "did Snape threaten you?"

"I thought he'd shout," she muttered, "I thought he'd yell, at least, when Dumbledore told him the news but James…he didn't even _flinch_. It was scary."

James could see why Snape's silence scared her. Sometimes, it was better when someone acted the way you expected too and when they didn't, it tended to be a bit unnerving. Lily sighed deeply and reached up to push her fingers through her hair.

"I'm worried." She stated, looking up at him, "he already has made so many bad choices and now this is happening and I know his family won't support him…"

"Hey," James stepped forward, placing a hand on her shoulder and forcing her to take a breath, "it's not your job to make him chose the right path, he has to do that on his own."

Lily's lip wobbled as she nodded in agreement, "I know James, but I just wish he could see that he doesn't need to—he didn't have to prove anything to anyone."

James lifted his hand off her shoulder to cup her face and she rested her cheek into his touch, "Lily," he said earnestly, "you'd given him so many chances and every time he let you down, even when you didn't realize it."

Lily sighed, staring into James' eyes with a forlorn look, "he's never going to change, is he?"

James wished he could tell her Snape would change, that he wasn't heartless, but James couldn't promise anything that wasn't genuine. Lily knew by the look on his face he wouldn't tell her that Snape would come around. She took in a labored breath and nodded bitterly.

"I know," she said, "I know he's going to join the Death Eaters."

James pulled her in, hugging her to his chest. Lily' arms snaked around his waist as he placed a kiss on the top of her head lovingly. Lily pressed her forehead into him, using him like a lifeline.

"I love you."

James pressed a hand into her hair and smoothing it down her back, "I love you too."

She nodded softly before muttering into his chest, "I'm going to go to bed, is that okay?"

James nodded, "Yeah," he said, "the girls have been working on a bed for you."

James led her back to the Gryffindor common room. All the talking died down when he entered holding Lily's hand.

"Girl's staircase is over there." James pointed to the proper staircase, "goodnight, love."

Lily dragged his hand to her mouth and kissed the inside of his wrist before letting go of his grip. James watched, his hands ruffling his hair, as she slowly dragged her feet over to the staircase. He wished he could peek inside her mind, just for a minute, just so he was sure she was okay.

Juniper suddenly appeared, meowing and racing for her mum. Lily spotted the fat black cat and knelt down, picking it up. She seemed unaware that every Gryffindor in the common room was watching her. One by one, her feet took her up the girl's dorm staircase until she disappeared. Once Lily was out of earshot, about five different people confronted James. The first and loudest being Great Catchlove. James immediately backed up, feeling cornered like a wild animal.

"What is she doing here?" Greta exclaimed, "And why is she going up the girls' staircase?"

"Because Greta," Sirius said from the table by the fireplace, "she's been placed in Gryffindor, obviously."

" _Placed_ in Slytherin?" Eric Mathers looked snubbed, "What the fuck does that mean?"

"It means she's staying here." James said moodily, "Got a problem with that?"

"She's a Slytherin." Greta cried, "our—James'—quidditch rival!"

_Fuck_.

Greta's words reminded James that Lily was Slytherin's quidditch captain. He wondered, if any of her teammates would stick up for her and allow her to keep captaining. With Crabbe and Rosier on the team though, James didn't fancy Lily flying fifty feet above or below them. It was Remus who calmed a few of the other Gryffindors down.

"Lily's been through a lot." Remus called out in his prefect voice, "respect her and don't give James or I a reason to take points. Understood?"

Anna Faith spoke up from the bookshelves, "is it true what everyone's saying?"

"About what?" James asked Anna.

Anna hesitated, "Is she a muggleborn?"

James adjusted his glasses on his nose as he nodded, "Yes."

More whispers flooded through Gryffindor's common room. Greta looked as if someone had shot her. Anna looked like she was about to cry. Third years were gossiping into their hands, eyes drawn on James. It was Sirius who made everything go back to normal.

"Stop gossiping like old hens!" Sirius shouted out, "and if any of you make Evans feel unwelcome, forget having to answer to James or Remus, you'll have me to answer too!"

No one ever betted against Sirius Black. James sent Sirius a grateful glance, happy that the conversation had shifted quickly. Sirius' warnings did nothing to ward off stares though. The rest of the night, James could feel stares in his back no matter where he was.

The stares didn't stop that morning. Mary met James by the boy's staircase, her eyes dark. She had purple coloring under her eyes too, suggesting she'd gotten little sleep. Lily was nowhere to be seen.

"We stayed up most of the night," Mary told James, "the elves brought her trunk up and some of her things were stolen, her robes. Her books were burned too…I managed to calm her down, but she didn't sleep much."

James clenched his jaw tightly before unclenching and asking, "Who did it?"

"It could've been anyone." Mary said flippantly, "But my guess is her old roommate, Greengrass."

"Mine too." James said bleakly, "Where is Lily now?"

"She finally fell asleep." Mary illuminated, "I didn't have the heart to wake her."

James nodded shortly before looking Mary up and down thankfully, "you're amazing, MacDonald."

Mary played with her braid, "Well," she said, "if anyone understands Lily, it's me."

Lily didn't show up to any classes. James looked for her all day, on alert so he could be there for her like a good boyfriend. When he still hadn't seen her by dinner, he confronted the other Gryffindor girls. They were all sitting at the end of the Gryffindor table exchanging a nail polish bottle.

"Where's Lily?" he asked.

Marlene turned in her seat, giving James a look, "why?"

"I want to make sure she's okay." James said, obviously, "Do you know where she is?"

Mary looked up from her potatoes, nudging Marlene in the side, "just tell him."

Marlene muttered something to Mary before saying offhandedly to James, "I gave her my firewhiskey stash and she went to the prefects bath."

"Wait, Firewhiskey?" Mary's eyes widened at Marlene, "What the Hell, Marlene?!"

"She had a pretty shitty week Mary," Marlene defended her actions, "I think she deserved a good drunk cry!"

Mary looked at Marlene in disbelief before looking at James, "do you want me to go check on her?"

"No," James shook his head, "I'll go, it's fine."

"She'll be in the bath." Mary said, blinking confusedly at James, "Are you sure you don't want me to go check on her? You can't get in."

James shook his head as he grabbed a plate for some food, "a few enchanted doors have never stopped me before."

Mary's mouth dropped open and Marlene laughed out loud.

Marlene took a swing of her pumpkin juice, "I knew the two of you were shagging."

"Shove off, McKinnon."

The prefect's bath was on the fifth floor, but James could get there in no time if he took the hidden staircase behind the cupboard filled with animal skulls on the second floor. James gave Marlene a shove of the shoulder before grabbing food from every corner of the table. Marlene was first to comment on the amount of food.

"Feeding an army there, Potter?"

"I'm assuming she hasn't eaten since yesterday." James responded as he added another chicken leg to the platter.

Mary, recovered from her shock, agreed, "she said she wasn't hungry."

"Bullocks." James replied, "she's just had a shit week, everyone wants good food after a shit week."

"No, they want alcohol." Marlene disagreed.

"Well, she's already got that thanks to you."

"You can thank me later."

Once he had three different meals on one plate, James raced from the Great Hall. If any of the Professors or other prefects noticed James slip out with a plate, they said nothing. James had a feeling that if McGonagall knew he was bringing the food to the Head Girl and wouldn't have stopped him anyways.

James knew the prefects bath door was designed specifically to keep people from entering the bathroom at the same time if a person was using it for privacy. He'd have to knock and hope that Lily would let him in. Once he passed the statue that marked the secret corridor, James went to the fourth door on the right. Balancing his tray of food in one hand and using the other, James pounded on the bathroom door. Lily didn't answer and James cursed. He saw through the crack under the door frame that a light was on inside the loo.

While he was deciding how to get in, a click came from the other side and Lily peered around the edge. When she spotted James, her eyes enlarged.

"How'd you know I was here?"

James said conversationally, "Your friends mentioned that you had alcohol, and as Head Boy, I can't condone that behavior."

There was a familiar curve to her lips, and she opened the door more to reveal she was wet and wearing a tied bathrobe. Fog swirled around her, suggesting she'd had the bathwater running, but it gave her a ghostlike presence. Her eyes dropped down to the food James was holding out and her eyes lit up. Her fingers reached through the doorway and she grabbed a small meat pie.

"I love you."

James couldn't help but chuckle when she stuffed the entire thing in her mouth. She quirked a brow at him before turning and sauntering away from the door.

James slid into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him and locking. James saw Lily had the large in ground tub, more the size of a small swimming pool, filled with pink and blue bubbles. The bath smelled like lavender and something sweet. Steam came off the tub, suggesting the water was hot. Based on Lily's hair, hanging wet and lose on her back, she'd been enjoying it before he'd interrupted.

James set the food on one of the stools by the sinks and mirrors. He turned and ahead of him, in the haze of the precipitation, Lily was untying her robe. She turned to catch him staring and let her eyes do the talking as the robe fell to the tile floor. James chortled, his eyes tracing her naked form before her body disappeared back into the bubbles of the bath. James was incomprehensible, taking in a deep breath of steam and lavender, already finding his mind joining her in her private bath. Only Lily's head and red hair was visible as she rested her chin on the edge of the bath, watching his expression shift from charmed to roused. Next to her, was a half empty, large bottle of expensive Russian firewhiskey.

Marlene McKinnon hadn't been joking, she'd handed Lily the really good stuff. Lily reached out and took one swing of the bottle, her eyes not leaving James. For someone who'd just been through a lot, she was currently the definition of relaxed. He realized he was still standing by the door, so he started for her, sweat starting to appear on his skin under his clothes as he got deeper into the cloud of bath steam.

"Having fun?" James asked conversationally, "maybe I should come back?"

Lily mocked his indicative tone, "maybe you should come in." she stood up a bit, letting him get a better view, "the waters great."

James shook his head, whistling as he traced her curves, "you've got no right to be so enticing."

"And you've got no right to come here fully clothed."

James couldn't help his grin, she was being so feisty, "you're as impatient as ever."

She huffed, "well, if you don't want to be here, feel free to leave."

James winced, "that went south fast."

Her face fell and she pulled her arms out of the water, resting her head on them, "I'm sorry," she apologized, "I just…"

She swirled her finger around the top of her bottle. James knew she was upset, he knew she wanted to forget everything that happened. He also knew, from years of experience with Remus' mood swings, that the best way for her to come out of her mood was for her talk.

"I know." He soothed, walking over to the edge of the bath and sitting cross legged across from her and the bottle of firewhiskey, "Let's play a game."

"What kind of game?"

"For each shot, we say something we're afraid of saying out loud."

Lily eyed James carefully, "That could get dangerous."

James started without hesitating, taking a swing and letting the sharp drink burn down his throat before saying, "I wish I could go back to first year when we met and make myself be your friend sooner."

"Why are you afraid of saying that out loud?" her head tilted, "I wish that too."

"I'm always scared of saying how much I care about you, even back then, when I didn't realize it." James said.

More and more, James wished he'd known her earlier. He wished they'd both managed to break Snape before he'd dug his fangs into Lily, filling her with his venomous thoughts and exploitations. Now, she was left to recover from all his lies and manipulations. James was determined to make sure she never had to go through it alone.

"Do you remember when we met?" she whispered suddenly, her stare turning daydream-ish.

James looked at her peculiarly, "Why?"

Lily pointed to his hair, "your hair was shorter then, and you called me a _Slytherin_ , a lot."

"Your hair was short too." James reached for the bottle of firewhiskey, taking a swing and letting the liquid pour down his throat, "and I hated that you were mates with Snape."

"Even back before we were friends," Lily said when he lowered the bottle, "You knew Snape was no good for me."

"I mean, my father raised me to always hate Slytherins and he seemed like the worst kind."

"You didn't hate me." she said, tilting her head, "Did you?"

"No," James chuckled warmly, "I thought I did, Merlin, but you always knew how to light up any room you entered with your laugh, and it caught my ear like a daydream. I just never understood how you could be friends with a nightmare like Snape."

Lily chewed her bottom lip lightly before answering, "I'm sorry I didn't wake up from _that_ nightmare sooner."

James took another shot of firewhiskey, feeling the burn all the way to his toes.

"I wanted to be wrong about him," James said, "I just want you to be happy."

Lily snatched the bottle from him, taking her own turn, "I thought we'd be best friends forever. Guess I was wrong." She paused and then, "I still don't want anything bad to happen to him, despite all the bad things he did to me."

"You're so kind." he said, "you're amazing."

"Maybe I'm too kind." Lily said, staring at her nails unhappily, "since I let him boss me around all these years."

"It was different." James said, "You grew up together."

"I guess." she sighed deeply before considering James carefully, "but I care about you a Hell of a lot more than I ever cared about him."

James grabbed the bottle back from her and took a swing before blurting out, "I'm scared that one day, that you'll think we fell in love too hard and too fast."

Lily's eyes traced his serious expression before she reached across to seize the bottle and take another swing of the drink. James hand reached between them as she drank, tracing her face. When she lowered the bottle, a little of the red drink slipped down her chin as she beamed into his touch.

"My mum always said that fools rush into love," Lily said, "But I fall more in love with you each day."

James realized just then, that he was going to always be eternally grateful he'd met Lily. She was so kindhearted, even when someone had treated her so outrageously. She loved so fearlessly and only wanted the best for her friends. She was a Gryffindor to her very core, and she couldn't see it. They were quiet and Lily sighed softly, placing her chin back on top of her arms as she watched James take his own drink of the firewhiskey. When he put the bottle down, she took another swing herself.

"I want you to get in the bath with me." she said honestly, "not just because I want to feel something, but because I want to feel _you_."

Even in the opaque bath fumes, her green eyes glowed all for him. The water had turned her hair from its dark auburn to almost brown in the lighting. James' glasses had fogged up from the mist of the bath and he discarded them, squinting effectively at her enough to make her laugh.

"I much prefer when you aren't squinting at me."

"It's the fog." James told her, motioning around the humid air, "baths and glasses don't go together."

"Hmmm," she hummed, her smile soft and only for him, "I suppose you know that clothes and baths don't go together either?"

James had seen pictures of muggle mermaids in books, beautiful sirens who could lull sailors to sleep under the waves. In real life, mermaids weren't attractive, and they screamed like banshees above the water. With her hair wet and flipped to one side of her head, her green eyes glinting, and her shoulders occasionally appearing from under the bubbles…Lily looked more and more like James' favorite muggle myth. Luckily, Lily neither cried like a banshee nor looked anything like the seaweed monsters of the deep. He reached out and played with a strand of her wet hair, struck by her beauty.

Lily grabbed the bottle of firewhiskey, the last bit of it swirling at the bottom. She spun it at James perceptively. His attention was diverted from the curve of her neck for only a moment. James was aware Lily was asking if he wanted the last of it. James ignored the burn of the alcohol and settled for the burn of her touch instead.

"You need it more than I do."

"You're everything I need tonight." She whispered as he drew closer.

James caught her mouth with his and it was as if that's all she'd been waiting for because Lily dropped the bottle, letting the last of the contents spill into the bath as he moved to press his lips onto her face. They were both drunk, the firewhiskey starting to overcome James, but that didn't stop her hands from raking through his hair and him from tasting every curve of her mouth. She tasted like the alcohol and he was drunk off her kiss alone, as she lifted herself from the tub a bit more to press her tongue to the roof of his mouth with inspired dexterity.

Laying on the ground, snogging her, wasn't very efficient. Slowly, he pulled his mouth from hers, aiming to play by her previous request. Lily's green eyes were glinting with the familiar sultry look he'd grown used too, the same one she'd sent him yesterday after they'd had sex for the first time. They'd both been so distracted by everything that happened that they'd forgotten their promises to each other until they were under the hot steam of the bath.

This time, the door was locked, and time wasn't against them. Nothing was stopping James from showing Lily Evans how much he loved her. Lily seemed to have the same idea before her fingers reached out to grab at his arm as he sat up. Her fingers were hot from the water dripping off them, soaking through his robe sleeve.

"Don't go," she pleaded, "please, don't leave me."

James shook his head, starting to undo his robes, "I'm not leaving you."

Lily relaxed and even smiled, the rosiness to her cheeks glowing. Lily's eyes watched his fingers work on his clothes through the mist of bubbles and humid air. James let all his clothes fall off, removing his shoes last, kicking them away from the bath edge. Lily waited eagerly at the side of the bath and reached out a hand to him, offering to him help into the warm bubble bath. Somehow, the bath always magically was at the perfect temperature and James' muscles relaxed as he sunk into the water. It smelled more like lavender and candy floss as the bubbles flew into the air with his entrance to the bath. She said nothing to him, but her actions screamed louder than any words.

Her mouth smothered his as his hands dragged over her body under the hot water. His fingers slipped easily over her curves as she gave him some of her finest kisses yet. She'd been quick to learn that he loved when her teeth skimmed his lower lip and added that with each touch of her tongue.

Steam rose around them as they kissed, just enjoying each other's company. James' hair was dry until Lily's hands started tugging through the curls, making water drip down his face and onto his shoulders. James had never kissed someone in a bath, but he was suddenly apt to do it much more often as her body pressed into his hungrily. Suddenly, Lily slowed the kisses until they were both just leaving little touches here and there.

Lily dragged James over to the seats on the one side, sitting him down and sitting down next to him. The ledge was perfect, and they sat together, looking across the bath at fogged-up mirrors. The tile was warm against his back and James could see their shadows in the mirrors as Lily leaned her head against his shoulder.

Lily spoke suddenly, drawing James back to reality, "Can we still tell each other some more truths?"

"I'll give you a kiss for every single sentence you manage." James encouraged, "I don't want anything kept between us."

Lily turned slightly, eyeing James suspiciously, "You sure? Even if it might ruin the mood?"

"I could care less about the mood if there's something you want to say." James scoffed.

Lily tucked her hair behind her ear nervously before she finally muttered, "I wish Sev would've chosen me, and my friendship, instead of the dark arts."

James glanced down, seeing that her eyes were also drawn on their reflections in the mirrors. She was still thinking about Snape, her guilt and anger and betrayal sinking her into her own ocean filled with waves. James wrapped one arm around her bare shoulders, tugging her closer into his side. His thumb traced circles on her skin soothingly.

Lily seemed relieved as he kissed her temple, keeping to his promise. Her hands wrapped round his middle under the water, her fingers skimming effortlessly across his torso. She buried her face into his shoulder, seemingly shamed.

She sounded a thousand years older than she was, "why do people we care about, make bad choices?"

"I am sorry," James said softly, kissing her temple again, "I wish I knew what else to say."

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Lily aid, looking up at James with a passion, "You—out of all the people in this school, tried to warn me about him and I let my childhood nostalgia get in the way of that. I'm sorry. I should have listened to you."

James used one of his hands to lift her chin and turn it slightly so he could look at her, "I really wish I had been wrong about him, if only because then you wouldn't be so sad."

One of her hands lifted out of the water to cup his cheek and she smiled sensitively, "I wish I'd been wrong too." She said, "but if there's anything I learned from all of this it's that we can't change people."

James furrowed his brow, "did they take his wand?"

Lily shook her head, "No, because they didn't take Clark or Gansley's wands either."

"I hope this doesn't wreck Dumbledore's reputation with the board." James said.

"I know."

Lily's hand dropped from his face and she started playing with the bubbles. She'd lift some up to her face and blow them into the air, like a child. It was so soft and wholesome, that James felt another rush of affection for her. He pressed a kiss to her cheek before pulling back.

"You see the best in everyone," James told her, "It's not a bad thing. Snape just took it for granted. I don't. I won't ever take you for granted. Every day when I wake up by your side, I'll be thankful."

Lily twisted in her seat and let her hand fall back to rest on top of the water. Her knees collided against his under the water as she stared him down intensely.

"I think about all the mistakes I made, how you never judged me for keeping secrets or choosing to be sorted into Slytherin," she swallowed thickly, tears pricking her eyes, "Even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me."

James squeezed her hand three times underwater, "I love you too."

Lily suddenly moved very quickly, standing up and in front of him. She leaned down and kissed him, her teeth skimming his lower lip dangerously slow as she kneeled on the ledge over top of him. James tried not to focus too much on the way she was straddling him and what she could do if he moved a bit further away from the wall. Instead, he tried his best to kiss her back with as much eagerness and yearning as she was throwing in. James didn't know if it was the mist of the air or the smoke in his brain from the firewhiskey, but he felt like he was in heaven.

She was just like the water they bathed in, pressing into him with a heavy and heated desire. His hands shook a bit as he gripped her waist, his tongue licking the water droplets from her skin like she was made of fine wine. Lily's fingers traced across his jaw before dropping to carve their way against his chest as James' lips rerouted to his favorite spot on her neck. She hummed contentedly as he licked her pulse point and nosed her affectionately. 

"James."

She sighed his name so enviably, it made every thought in his head just stop. He opened his eyes to find her face even more flushed and her that's when her hands covered his own. Her left hand started dragging James' hand to where she wanted. James treated her like a queen, eliciting whatever sounds he could from her sweet mouth. By the time she was satisfied, they were both breathing deeply, and Lily's hands were tangled in her hair as she stared at James in complete and utter bliss. Her lips were chapped as she pressed kiss after kiss to his face, thanking him. 

James didn't recall how long they spent in the prefect's bath together, only that by the time they made it back to the common room, he was well versed in every bit of Lily's mind, body and soul. She'd made her own mark on him too, her indulgent words and silky body putting his resolve to everleave the bath to the test. They snuck back to the common room, well after curfew, and James took her over to the sofa by the dying fire. Lily didn't mind, curling up into his side, her head on his chest. They talked until she fell asleep in his arms with a smile that matched her happy golden glow.

They woke up the next morning to first years talking loudly as they went to the Great Hall for breakfast. Lily left him only to go change her robes and brush her tangled bath hair. James met his mates, grateful that none of them mentioned his mysterious absence all night. Instead they asked how Lily was and seemed relieved when James said she was doing okay.

"Was Snape expelled?" Remus asked.

James nodded, "but I have a feeling it's not the last we'll be seeing of him."

Sirius looked around, "Where is Lily?"

Peter spotted her first, "Coming down the girls' staircase."

James had been expecting her to come down in her robes, so when Lily appeared at the base of the girl's staircase wearing a matching set of trousers and flowered blouse with Mary MacDonald James had to do a double take. Lily was always pretty, but in jeans, she was gorgeous. The clothing hugged her curves, the ones he'd memorized all night, just right. She smiled shyly when she spotted James staring at her. Sirius was leaning up against the banister with a callus smirk.

"Close your mouth Prongs," Sirius teased, "or a dragon might fly in."

"Morning," Lily offered the boys before turning her smile all for James to appreciate, "Hello, love."

James ignored Sirius' snicker and instead reached out for Lily as she got closer, "You look amazing."

He twirled her like an dancer, so he could see the full effect of muggle clothes. He'd only seen her dressed like this once before and he hadn't gotten to appreciate it because she'd worn a cloak. Now she was completely muggle and it suited her as much as anything she'd ever worn.

"What's with the wardrobe change?" Sirius asked Lily.

Lily smiled at Sirius, "I figured if I'm going to Hell for being muggleborn, I'd better do it properly."

Sirius held up a hand and Lily high-fived him. James beamed, happy to see his brother and girlfriend getting along so well.

"She looks great, doesn't she?" Mary asked the boys as she made her way over to the group, "I told her that shirt brought out her eyes."

James tucked his arm around Lily's waist as they headed for the Great Hall, in shock at how lucky he was to not only have the prettiest girl in school, but a strong and confident muggleborn witch who wasn't going to apologize for who she was. James loved how she initiated a conversation with Remus, both of them talking about the functionality of muggle clothes.

He almost forgot most of the school was still reeling with the news of Lily's blood status until they entered the Great Hall. The Slytherin table turned quiet and James felt Lily shift beside him, but she didn't lower her head. She matched all their stares, daring them to say something. Of course, Rosier was the one to stand directly in front of the Gryffindors, making it impossible to move.

"You got Severus expelled." Rosier pointed at Lily, "you traitor."

"He got himself expelled." Lily said, her eyes unwavering, "get out of my face."

"You're a freak, mudblood bitch."

James lunged but he wasn't as fast as Remus, who had pushed Lily back, while simultaneously throwing a punch into Rosier's sizable jaw. James heard the sickening crack of Remus' hand as it connected with Rosier's face. Sirius, always protective of Remus, quickly grabbed Remus' robes from the back and yanked the werewolf away from Rosier before the Slytherin could retaliate. Rosier's eyes flashed dangerously as he rubbed his jaw and eyed Remus, who was cradling his hand.

"You'll regret that," Rosier snarled, "I'll have you expelled."

James noted the fear on Remus' face and he quickly intervened. Tossing an apologetic look at Lily, James let go of her and raised his fist, throwing a punch into Rosier's jaw. This time, Rosier took a hit and he doubled over, gripping the side of his face. Crabbe stood up from the Slytherin table, his wand out. It was too late; a Professor had caught on to the fight.

"Mr. Potter! Mr. Lupin!" Professor Rogers had made it down from the teaches table, "What on earth is going on?"

"They punched me!' Rosier pointed at James and Remus respectively, "I want them expelled!"

"We've had enough expulsions in this school for this week Mr. Rosier," Rogers said, pulling Rosier from the group of Gryffindors with a glower, "I want you in the Hospital Wing, get some ice for that jaw."

Rosier and James stared each other down as Rosier made it way in the direction of the Hospital Wing under Rogers' orders. Rogers saw Remus cradling his wrist and sighed.

"You too, Lupin. Hospital Wing."

Sirius went with Remus, muttering frantically in Remus' ear. Lily stared after Remus restlessly, clearly feeling bad he'd hurt himself. Still, she stayed by James' side to defend him once Rogers turned her glare onto James.

"Professor Rogers, please, it's not James' fault."

Rogers simply remained angry with them, "Pick the right battles to fight, Potter." She narrowed her eyes at James, "words can't hurt someone, and fists only make it worse."

Rogers turned back to the teachers table, James grew puzzled.

"You aren't going to give me a detention?"

Rogers threw a look over her shoulder, "Just because it wasn't the right battle to fight, doesn't mean I don't agree with your actions."

James glanced down and met Lily's flabbergasted stare.

It seemed they had an ally in Professor Rogers.


	15. Call It What You Want

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No update next week guys, I have a friend flying in and we're traveling upstate so I'll only have time for schoolwork and not hashing out and editing 10,000 words.
> 
> I love y'all so much for the support! A few of you have asked about chapters and where this story ends. Sadly, it's almost over. This chapter and the next chapter are the filler chapters, leading up to the finale chapters. After that, I have a time-jump epilogue typed out that I may or may not keep :)

_Chapter 15:_

_All the drama queens taking swings; all the jokers dressin' up as kings_   
_They fade to nothing when I look at him_   
_And I know I make the same mistakes every time_   
_Bridges burn, I never learn, at least I did one thing right_   
_I'm laughing with my lover, making forts under covers_   
_Trust him like a brother, yeah, you know I did one thing right_   
_Starry eyes sparkin' up my darkest night_

Remus punching Rosier in the face hadn't exactly gone as planned. Lily still couldn't believe Remus had done that for her and she was absolutely beside herself that he'd gotten hurt. Peter told her he was always a bit frail, thanks to his body constantly changing, but James said Remus was stronger than he looked. Still, when Lily slipped into the Hospital Wing she found the healer finishing wrapping up Remus' wrist.

"Oh no, Remus." Lily bemoaned, "You broke it?"

James was trailing behind her, "Remus, she's beside herself."

"She practically sprinted up here." Peter added from behind James.

"Glad to know she cares." Remus replied with a wolfish smile.

Lily didn't care that they were making fun of her for worrying like a mother hen. She felt awful that Remus had broken his wrist just because of Rosier. She knew that Remus was her friend, all of the Gryffindors were thanks to James, but still she couldn't help but feel bad that Remus had hurt himself. For her.

"Lily." Remus smiled from the bed, "I'm fine."

"Is it broken?" Lily asked as she came to stand still at the end of the hospital cot.

Sirius spoke up from the chair beside Remus' cot sarcastically, finding Lily's worry hysterical, "Madame says she might have to amputate."

"Mr. Black," The healer glared at Sirius pointedly and Sirius grinned guiltily under her glare.

Remus rolled his eyes at Sirius before assuring Lily, "It's fine, I just fractured a few bones in my wrist."

"I'm sorry Remus," Lily said, "It's all my fault."

"Rosier's the one who called you—" Remus dropped his sentence angrily, not wanting to repeat.

"Rosier has a nice shiner from James," Sirius guffawed loudly, "That's all that matters."

Lily looked around the wing for Rosier, who had called her a traitor after confronting her in the Great Hall about Severus' expulsion from Hogwarts. The Hospital Wing was empty save for the Gryffindor boys and for that Lily was grateful. She didn't fancy having another row with Rosier in the Hospital Wing. Especially since James already managed to escape detention once. Sirius noticed Lily's examination of her surroundings.

"Rosier went back to his common room, he only had a bruise from James' punch."

James scoffed from behind Lily, "I wanted to strangle him." He said, "I hate him almost as much as Snape."

"Well they were mates." Sirius said, crossing his legs casually in his chair, "doesn't surprise me one bit."

Lily winced as Madame Promfrey handed Remus a potion that looked suspiciously like Skele-gro. The potion was disgusting, she could tell by Remus' face when he drank it. Still, he drank it better than Lily could've done. She supposed he had lots of experience with regrowing bones, being a werewolf. He grew and lost and regrew bones every full moon. Turning into an animal sounded painful the more Lily thought about it. Madame Promfrey dropped Remus' wrist into the sling she'd made before shaking her finger at the young werewolf.

"You can't overexert yourself."

"I know, I know." Remus said faintly, handing her the finished potion, "my emotions got the better of me."

"I'm so sorry Remus," Lily gushed when the healer walked back to her station, "Rosier was being a—"

"It's fine, I'm fine." Remus disputed.

"You _broke_ yourself." Lily deadpanned, "You're the literal opposite of fine."

"I've had worse." Remus tried easing her worry again, "About once a month."

Lily pouted, "That doesn't make me feel any better."

"Lily if you coddle him it only makes him angry." Sirius warned, "Trust me."

"But it's my fault," Lily repeated, "this is all my fault."

"If we're going to be pointing fingers," James pronounced, slinging a comforting arm around Lily's shoulders, "Let's start with Snape, alright?"

Lily grumbled, giving James her best stare, "I hate him for doing this."

"And?" he said, as if her statement were obvious.

"I don't want you lot to get caught up in this!" Lily motioned around to James and the rest of the marauders, "this wasn't supposed to be a big deal! He ruined everything!"

"He ruins all." Sirius said, "Son of a bitch."

"What Sirius means, is that we're your friends," James said, "so we're going to try and help you, even when you don't ask for it."

"I just won't be punching anyone else for you anytime soon." Remus joked from the bed, "I'll stick to taking points from Slytherin instead."

"Probably for the best." James jested, "I'll do the physical confrontations."

"I call feeding Crabbe to the giant squid." Sirius announced.

"If we're picking Slytherins to fight, can I take Knott?" Peter piped up.

"No," Lily said shaking her head hastily, "No more fighting. Rogers is right, it only makes things worse."

"Okay," James sounded amused by her declaration, "But prewarning, if anyone says anything to me about you that I don't like, I might accidently drop them in an acidic potion."

"I hear Hagrid has some flesh-eating slugs." Sirius added, "if we're open to other options."

Lily crossed her arms and pulled herself from James' grasp as he and Sirius high fived each other. They were all absolutely, one hundred percent, ridiculous.

"I don't want you lot to get in trouble all the time!"

"I don't know if you missed the last seven years of our lives, Evans," Peter said from Remus' other side, "But trouble is our middle name."

"Peter's got a point." Sirius said.

James chuckled deeply when he saw Lily's irate facade and he sauntered over to where she'd positioned herself, forcing her into his arms, "Baby, just _breathe_. We don't give a damn. Let us help you."

Lily looked up at James, her forehead wrinkly, "I don't want you to get _hurt_ , James."

"I won't get hurt." James scoffed.

Lily pointed emphatically at Remus in bed with his sling.

"That was Remus." James said, "not me."

"You could get hurt next!"

James rolled his eyes, "the only thing that hurts right now, is the fact that you haven't thanked me or Remus yet for decking Rosier."

"Thank you." Lily said through clenched teeth.

"Pardon?" Remus asked impishly, despite knowing very well what she had said.

James was poking her in the side, trying to get her to smile.

"James stop."

Lily wiggled in his arms, triyng to escape. It was no use, Sirius and Peter had joined in on James' task to get her to smile.

"No!" she squealed, trying to jump away but now James had his arm around her, holding her in place, "boys!"

They all ticked her sides, cornering her into Remus' beside. Finally, her smile broke and she laughed as they tickled her sides good-humoredly.

"Stop!"

"Say thank you!" Sirius sang as she kicked out, narrowly missing Peter's knee.

"Never!"

James pressed her into the mattress and now Remus was helping, she was being attacked from all sides and her laughter was high pitched as she tried to escape. It was no use, four against one.

"Thank you!" she managed a gasp, "Thank you!"

Almost immediately, the tickling stopped. Lily's sides ached from laughing and she wiped tears from her eyes as the boys let her stand up straight. James leaned down and kissed her wickedly, waiting until she kissed him back before he let her go.

Remus was let go from the hospital, only after promising Madame he wouldn't do anything stupid. Lily wondered if she made the boys promise that anytime they visited. It was clear she knew all of them really well. Lily went back to the Gryffindor common room, Sirius piggy backing her as they raced James up the staircase. It was funny how the boys, as frustrating as they could be, had a way of making her feel as if they'd all been friends since year one.

James kissed her again and again, once they fell into one of the overstuffed Gryffindor common room armchairs. Sirius turned on the closest radio and they listened to music while talking about anything and everything. Peter snuck in food to the dorms so they could eat away from prying eyes.

Later that afternoon Lily spent the day lounging in James' bed with Sirius. He had a large collection of boke magazines and was asking her all about them. Lily knew very little about motorbikes but she gave Sirius all the information she could. She fell asleep huddled up in James' blankets, watching the boys trade wizard cards. When she woke up James had curled up next to her and was snoring lightly. She kept him under the covers with her until dinnertime, at which time it was only Sirius who got them out of bed.

The second day of making her debut as 'muggleborn Lily Evans' was definitely worse than the first.

Despite trying to drown out the commotions of her fellow students, she could still hear her name in every hushed conversation. At breakfast she passed a group of third year Ravenclaws and they pointed at her borrowed muggle clothes, a statement of her assimilation back into herself. One of the girls looked at Lily's tight-fitting jeans in disgust.

"That's Evans…"

Voices alleged as Lily made her way to the Gryffindor table with Mary MacDonald.

"…lying to hide her blood status…"

Some younger first years gossiped.

"…Severus Snape…"

Severus' name haunted her like an unwelcome ghost.

"…Slytherin muggleborn…"

It was like something was wrong with her.

"…Mulciber shagged her…"

It was like somehow her past followed her, even the untrue parts.

"…Rejected Slytherin…"

Despite all the false allegations spreading through school about her, Lily kept her head high. She managed to hold herself together thanks to the unwavering support of James, Mary, and Marlene. In fact, Marlene was the most helpful, seeing as she was so intimidating that whenever Lily was around the beater, everyone as afraid to talk. Its why Lily chose to stay attached to the girls while James and the boys went out by themselves for a bit.

Marlene, Lily and Mary decided to go to the Library. On a Saturday they had nothing better to do than to go find something to distract them. Lily wanted a distraction from the stares of their fellow schoolmates, and she'd grabbed the trashiest book in Mary's private collection before they left the common room. Marlene didn't feel like reading but she still joined them, seemingly protective of Lily now that the truth had been revealed.

Marlene's death glares were keeping people from approaching Lily even when they looked like they wanted too. If Lily ever had a reputation of being intimidating, Marlene took the cake for most intimidating person in all of Hogwarts. Big, burly, and broad shouldered…she was built to be a beater. Her reputation on the quidditch field for being ruthless passed on to her reputation in the hallways.

Mary had been right though, Marlene was a big softy. The first night she'd seen Lily cry, she immediately offered to braid Lily's hair and give Lily some of her stashed away firewhiskey. When Greta Catchlove had made a snarky remark about Lily adding another person to share the loo with in Gryffindor tower, Marlene threatened to lock Greta out of the tower all night. Lily was thankful that for some reason, she'd gotten on Marlene's good side.

Even now, walking through the library, Marlene glared at people who were talking about Lily under the breath. Of course, Marlene couldn't do anything about the voices behind the bookshelves where people talked as if they couldn't be overheard.

"She lied for _six years_ ," another voice flowed over to Lily's ear from behind the stacks of one of the charms sections.

" _Seven_." Another voice corrected, "She's a seventh year, remember?"

"Oh right, I heard she's _dating_ James Potter."

"How'd that happen?"

"Maybe she's lying about that too."

Mary glanced to the side and perceived Lily had heard the conversation. Mary touched Lily's arm and Lily tore her eyes from the floor to glance at her friend. Lily was so thankful James had introduced them.

"It stops eventually." Mary promised Lily, "people will get bored with your drama and move on to someone else's."

Lily knew Mary knew best out of anyone. She'd spent the forefront of her fourth year in the public eye for the Mulciber incident. Mary told Lily that people said she asked for it, that she'd been flirting with Mulciber. Mary had awful words hurled her way for weeks after the rumors got out. Lily knew that if Mary could get through all her drama with her armor unscathed then Lily could too.

It still didn't make any of the poignant words hurt less.

"Evans is responsible for Snape getting suspended _."_

Lily couldn't help but shoot a desolate look over to a table where her old housemates were gathers. They all looked up when someone nudged the talker and Lily didn't shy away from their accusatory glares. It was true, she had gotten Severus expelled, everyone knew it. The only problem was that the rumors made it seem like she'd done some sketchy things to get him expelled. That was entirely untrue, Severus had been the sketchy one in their relationship but now, all the Slytherins acted like Lily was a traitor to her own house.

"Awh, she looks a little angry." Amelia Greengrass reveled in Lily's aversion, her eyes flashing dangerously in Lily's direction.

"Careful Amelia," Knott said to his girlfriend, "She holds a lot of grudges, she'll try to get you expelled next."

Marlene shot the table of green robes a look before grabbing Lily and turning her away from the judgmental tones, "come on Lily, or I'll end up fighting all of them with my bare hands."

Marlene and Mary led Lily to the back of the library but that didn't stop the voices from following Lily.

_"There she is."_

_"I can see her."_

Lily felt her cheeks heat up, she hated being ogled at like some pariah.

_"I think Evans is learning a few lessons about life."_

_"All this drama is exhausting."_

_"I heard she and Snape were sleeping together."_

_"I heard Slytherin kicked her out for being muggleborn."_

_"Talk about bad blood."_

Finally, the girls made it to the back sections. Lily held onto her pride as she settled into a seat next to Mary. They'd gone into the very back of the library, someplace where the voices couldn't reach her. Someplace where her reputation wasn't being burned at the stake. Someplace where she could really count on her real friends to help her forget about all the rumors circulating her reputation.

Marlene, in particular, had a way of making Mary and Lily focus on something other than school drama. While Mary and Lily had both brought books to read, Marlene had brought a stack of exploding snap cards. Lily and Mary watched, giggling into their books, as Marlene sped to stack the cards into a castle shape _before_ they exploded on her.

"You're going to get into so much trouble when Pince hears those go off." Mary told Marlene.

"Shove it and help me get these cards stacked."

Without needing to be told twice, Lily stuffed her book under her leg and leaned over the desk to help Marlene with the cards. Mary, who had already served her detention with McGonagall. was hesitant to help.

"If I get another detention because of you two," Mary threatened, "I'm going to find new friends."

"You've been threatening that for years," Marlene quipped, "We both know that not even _you_ have enough patience to become best friends with Greta Catchlove."

Lily crumpled her nose at the mention of her least favorite Gryffindor tower resident. Of all the Gryffindor girls, Greta had been the least welcoming to Lily the last two days. Marlene said it was because Greta was absolutely in love with James, but Lily and Greta had never gotten along, even before Greta knew that Lily was seeing James.

Greta was in Slug Club and a great potioneer, but she still fell behind Lily in marks and as such, wasn't Slughorns favorite. Lily was sure Greta's dislike for her stemmed from Slug Club and only grew worse from there. Especially if what Marlene said was true, James just added fuel to Greta's fire. Lily didn't care, she knew she couldn't be friends with everyone, and she didn't like Greta much anyways.

Marlene had her tongue between her teeth as they built their castle. The cards still hadn't exploded, and Lily and Marlene raced to put the last few cards on top of their elaborate tower. Marlene was reaching up with the last card when, all of a sudden, Lily heard a pop at the bottom. Without any other warning, the entire card pile exploded. Lily laughed, blowing smoke from her face. There was an angry screech from somewhere at the front of the library and Lily knew it had to be the librarian.

"Quick!" Marlene hissed as Mary fanned her book at the small sparks and ashes, "Hide the evidence!"

Marlene pulled a bag out from under the desk out of nowhere. Lily was watching, laughing loudly as Marlene stuffed the ashes into the bag and then stuffed the bag under her chair. There was still a scorch mark on the table, both girls saw it. Lily could hear a set of footsteps descending on them but Lily slammed her book down on top of the burn mark just as Madame Pince rounded the corner. The tall pointed hat was lopsided on Pince's head as she looked between all three girls suspiciously. Mary's nose was stuffed into her book. Marlene had grabbed Lily's outstretched hand at last second, pretending to arm wrestle.

Playing it cool, Marlene shot Madame Pince her tackiest grin, "E'lo Pince."

Pince eyed Marlene anxiously, "I heard something explode."

Lily gave her signature Head Girl certified-innocent smile, "Oh, we heard that too, we thought that came from outside?"

Pince mumbled something about going crazy but left, leaving the girls in a fit of giggles.

"Nice one Evans."

"I can't believe she bought that load of rubbish." Mary quipped, "Outside my arse."

"Everyone believes the Head Girl would _never_ break the rules." Lily fluffed her hair and Mary laughed.

Marlene let go of Lily's hand and they leaned back in their chairs as Marlene grabbed her wand and erased the rest of the evidence. They had just finished cleaning up their mess when someone else rounded the corner. It wasn't Pince, it wasn't even anyone else Lily would've been expecting, like James. Instead, it was one of the Slytherin quidditch players, eyes drawn wide.

"No Slytherins allowed." Marlene said to the intruder, looking the girl up and down with a threatening glare.

Lily, however was surprised by the chasers apperance, "Marissa?"

Marissa was one of the quieter Slytherins, but she'd never given Lily a reason to distrust her. During the poster incident she'd seem to be supportive of muggleborns. Marissa was wearing her quidditch robes and had her brown hair in braids twisted into a crown on the top of her head. She looked nervous and even took a half a step back when she saw Marlene. No doubt, Marissa knew Marlene from the quidditch pitch.

"Do we like her?" Marlene asked Lily pointedly.

" _Marlene_." Mary sighed shaking her head in her hand, "Tact."

"She's fine," Lily promised Marlene before considering Marissa, "what's up Marissa?"

"I wanted to know if you're coming to Quidditch practice tonight." Marissa queried, her eyes not leaving Marlene for longer than few seconds, "you, er, well…you missed last practice on Thursday, and it was awful."

Lily's shoulders fell, "You must've heard what happened."

Marissa pouted, "I know but Lily, we all miss you!"

Lily curved a brow at Marissa is denial, " _all_ of you?"

Marissa looked remorseful, "okay, well _I_ miss you."

"That's sweet Marissa," Lily said, "But you might be the only one."

"Reg! And Cody! Knott only pretends to hate you, I'm sure of it!"

"Marissa."

"Rosier and Crabbe were _awful_." Marissa bemoaned, stepping closer to the table, "Crabbe was telling at Reg for missing the snitch, telling him it was _his_ fault we lost to Gryffindor."

"I mean that's not entirely untrue." Marlene hummed and Lily kicked the Gryffindor beater under the table.

"Ow!" Marlene complained before kicking Lily back.

Lily flinched, Marlene's kick was well aimed. Lily actually rubbed her knee, wondering if she'd bruise.

"We miss you Lily," Marissa said again, "you make Quidditch fun, Rosier just makes it stressful."

"What's quidditch practice if it's not stressful?" Marlene asked, "James doesn't consider it successful until at least one of us cries."

"I thought that was how you judged a successful practice?" Mary asked Marlene with a grin.

"Shove it Mary," Marlene said, "I'm a peach on the pitch."

" _Sure_ , you are." Mary shared a look with Lily who grinned before turning back to Marissa.

"I know you heard about me Marissa." Lily said, "You know why I can't go back."

"The Lily I know wouldn't care about any of that shit." Marissa said boldly, "The Lily I know wouldn't let Rosier get his way."

Lily pushed her hair over one shoulder and stared at Marissa in shock. She wasn't shocked because Marissa had said anything untrue, it was more because Marissa had pointed out that Lily wasn't being true to herself by staying away from the quidditch pitch. Lily loved to tell people what she thought, even gits like Rosier. How many times had she told all of them that she didn't give a fuck what they thought? How many times had she always done whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted?

"Come back Lily," Marissa pleaded, seeing Lily's waver fade, "Please?"

Lily smiled at Marissa, "don't be surprised when they throw me out tonight."

"Really?" Marissa looked so ecstatic and she clasped her hands together, "You'll come back?!"

"Someone needs to put Rosier in his place."

Marissa looked like she might cry, "Thank you!"

"No problem," Lily said, before saying fairly "I'm happy not everyone in Slytherin hates me."

Marissa played with her bookbag strap, "they're all just caught up in the drama because they've got nothing better to do."

"That's what I told her," Mary said, nudging Lily deliberately.

"Great minds think alike." Marissa smiled at Mary before considering Lily again, "I'll see you tonight at practice, Captain?"

Lily's wave was weak as Marissa walked away and then she turned back to the Gryffindor girls, "if I die tonight, tell James I love him."

"I don't know why Slytherin is so worried about Quidditch," Marlene said condescendingly, "it's not like they stand a chance anyway. Hufflepuff would have to beat Gryffindor by sixty-six points and that's just not going to happen."

"You have so much faith in my team." Lily said doubtfully, frowning at Marlene.

Marlene tossed her pretty hair, "if only you'd officially gotten sorted Evans, and then you wouldn't care about your team either."

"Fuck you."

"Woah, Evans, you kiss your mum with that mouth?"

Lily turned and spotted James rounding the corner, a wide smile on his face. Despite the warm fluttering in her stomach at the sight of him, Lily forced a frown onto her face.

"I kiss you with this mouth, don't I?"

"Touché." He leaned down, pressing a swift kiss to Lily's cheek before considering the other two girls.

"Mind if I steal Evans for a date?"

"Go ahead," Marlene waved, "she's spouting nonsense anyways."

" _Nonsense_." Lily sneered as she took James' hand and led him lead her into a standing position, "You're the one talking nonsense."

"Gryffindor beating Slytherin for the quidditch cup is inevitable, Evans."

One of James' arms wrapped around Lily's waist and he kissed the side of her head affectionately as he laughed, "careful McKinnon, or Lily might ask to pair up to duel you in Defense Against the Dark Arts next week."

Marlene waved James' threat away, "She'd rather jinx a Slytherin than me, she _loves_ me."

"Only for your alcohol stash, McKinnon." Lily sang humorously.

"I quite like that alcohol stash as well." James observed slyly, sharing a wink with Lily.

Lily bit her lip, looking at him, star struck. She looked at him with pride, like she'd done every moment since she'd fallen in love with him. Even when they were arguing or teasing each other, she was so proud to be the one he wanted to hold late at night. His hand came up and he brushed her hair behind her ear before cupping her cheek and kissing her gently, knowing exactly where her mind had wandered.

"Alright lovebirds," Marlene cut through their moment, "Get out of here before I get sick."

James laughed and tugged Lily away as she quickly hitched her bookbag onto her shoulder. Lily waved at Mary and Marlene before she settled into James' comfortable grasp. They walked along the row of library stacks. People turned to stare just like they'd done when Lily entered with Mary and Marlene. She noticed their glances and whispers, but James didn't. Instead, his head was angled down, watching her, making sure she was okay. The action warmed her heart, and she leaned into him more.

"I love you."

"I love you more."

Once they were free from the library it got easier. Since it was a weekend, most everyone was dispersed throughout the castle. The most crowded spot being the library that they'd fled from. Once they made their way back down the main staircase they were relatively alone.

"Where are we going?" Lily asked James.

He led her down the staircase with an enchanting smile, "we have lunch planned with our favorite people."

"You are my favorite people."

"Thanks," he chortled, "But I was talking about Sirius, Remus, and Peter."

"Oh, _those_ favorite people." She managed with a smile, "and where is this lunch date happening?"

"One of the spare classrooms." He said nonchalantly, "McGonagall leaves the first-floor transfiguration spare open for us to practice magic."

"She does?" Lily asked surprised, "I didn't know she did that."

"Well she did it for Sirius, Peter, and I." James amended, "in our third year we asked her for a place she could practice transfiguration for fun, and she offered up the classroom. We've had access ever since."

"Studying in your free time." Lily goaded, placing one hand on his bicep, "is _that_ how you managed to beat everyone's OWLs scores in Transfiguration?"

"Nah," James winked sideways at her, "I got that with pure talent."

Lily pinched him, "Arrogant git."

"But I'm _your_ arrogant git."

He swooped down to kiss her again and Lily laughed into his kiss just as they reached the main landing. James laughed too when he pulled away from the kiss, clearly pleased by her teasing. Lily loved James' laugh and she stopped herself from joining him, just so she could hear his laugh taper off as they made their way to the classroom corridor. She'd stared at James plenty, but she never got tired of seeing the way his eyes lit up over the smallest satisfying things. She could stare at the curve of his jaw, admire his fresh shave, any day of the week. If she went a whole month without seeing him ruffle his hair, she might go mad.

Lily bit back another _'I love you'_ not wanting to over-do it for one day, despite feeling as if she could say it until her mouth ran dry.

Sirius, Remus and Peter were already in the class classroom off the end of the corridor. Someone had laid out a picnic blanket (Lily recognized the furry quilt from the Gryffindor common room sofa) and placed plates of food all over it. Sirius, Remus and Peter all had open bottles of butterbeer and there were two spare bottles awaiting Lily and James. Remus, who was still awkward with one hand, waved his bottle at Lily in hello. Sirius raised his bottle in toast as Lily sat down between him and Peter while James closed the door.

"We didn't want to start eating without you." Peter told Lily when she noted the empty plates.

"That's so sweet of you, Peter." Lily mused.

"Don't be too impressed," Sirius revealed, "It was Remus who suggested we starve until you got here."

"By all means," Lily pointed to the food, "Don't ever feel inclined to wait on us again."

Peter and Sirius cheered, digging into the food like ravenous animals. Remus shared a exasperated look with Lily.

"Their manners are impeccable, no?"

Lily agreed, "It's funny that the werewolf is the least animalistic out of all you."

"You haven't seen Remus play chess yet, he turns feral if he starts losing." James took a seat directly behind Lily, letting her lean back into his chest as she opened her bottle with a twist of the bottle cap.

"So, what did you do on this fine day, Lily?" Sirius asked like they were at high tea.

Lily curved a brow at Sirius, "is it a fine day?"

"You're in my presence, so it's as fine as it'll ever get."

"Are you implying your fit?"

"Are you implying I'm not?" Sirius asked.

"I much prefer James."

"Me too."

James snorted into his bottle, knocking Lily's shoulders as she glowered at Sirius, "you're a piece of work, Sirius Black."

Sirius fake bowed, "I'm aware."

Lily leaned forward to grab a chicken bone at Sirius. The black-haired boy dodged out of the way, laughing, as the chicken bone hit a chair behind him.

"Just ignore him Lily," Peter said, "We all do."

" _We all do."_ Sirius mimicked Peter's tone before grabbing another piece of chicken leg and biting into it.

They ate in silence for a while, just enjoying the company and good food. Once the plates had been all cleared of food and all that was left were a few sandwiches and one last slice of chocolate pie, Remus got out a set of cards. Lily didn't remember the last time she had so much fun as she played poker with the boys. Sirius was ruthless but he was nothing compared to Remus, who let out a string of curses anytime he was thwarted by Peter's dealings. James seemed to find his friends' antics comical, he kept chuckling into Lily's ear as he held up the cards for his own plays. Once Peter had won two rounds and Remus had won the last round, they cleaned up, stacking plates on top of each other and folding the blanket up.

Lily picked up the plates to take them to the kitchen and the boys immediately protested.

"We can do it!" Remus said.

"I'm not going all the way back to the common room anyways," Lily promised, "I have quidditch practice soon and need to go."

"Quidditch practice?" James asked, " _What_?"

Lily explained, "Marissa, one of my chasers, begged me to come back. I guess last practice was a shite show with Rosier and Crabbe leading."

Lily saw a shadow pass over James' expression, "Lily," he said carefully, "not that I don't want you to keep playing quidditch, but don't you think walking onto the field with everything that's happened is a bad idea?"

"I'm with James on this one," Sirius said, onyx eyes flashing with warning, "they've been giving you Hell the last forty-eight hours Lily, going there will only provoke them more."

"I'm not going to let Crabbe or any of those idiots terrorize the younger players." Lily said fiercely, "Reg is getting bullied and Marissa looked about ready to quit!"

"My brother?" Sirius screwed up his face, "Bullied?"

"It's because he didn't catch the snitch last game against Gryffindor." Lily told Sirius, "And Crabbe is using him as a scapegoat for losing."

"That's unfair," James said, and Lily was surprised he was agreeing with her considering it was Slytherin and then he said, "Slytherin didn't stand a chance with or without Regulus playing."

" _Excuse me_?"

James winced as he realized what he said and Lily crossed her arms at her boyfriend as Sirius, Remus and Peter watched on with grins, "Slytherin could've kicked Gryffindor's arse, had Reg had a bit more practice."

James, never one to back down when it came to quidditch, said, "Says the keeper who let me get goals in."

"Oh, I'm definitely going to practice now." Lily buzzed as she stepped towards the door, "if only so I can make sure Regulus Black catches the snitch next game and kicks Gryffindor out of the lead."

James sneered, "We'd have to lose to Hufflepuff next week and that's never gonna happen."

"We'll see." Lily sang as she opened the door, balancing the plates on one arm, "Bye Gryffindor."

James screwed up his face, "wait."

Lily paused, tilting her head at her boyfriend, "yes?"

"You aren't _really_ going to that practice, are you?"

"Yes." Lily said, as if it were obvious, "I'm still a Slytherin and they're still my team."

She walked out and behind her, Lily heard James' loud groan accompanied with several curses strung along with her name. She thought she was alone until there was a pattern of footsteps behind her. She turned to see Peter racing up the hallway after her. She slowed down, allowing him to catch up. Peter took half the plates from her, his face ruddy as he did so.

"What are you doing?" Lily asked, distracted.

"Helping you with the plates." Peter replied.

"I see that," Lily chuckled, "but why?"

"James doesn't want you walking the hallways near the dungeons alone."

"Ah," Lily should've known, "And if he's so worried, where is he?"

"Cursing your name." Peter said with a smirk, "And all your future children."

Lily chuckled and a rush of affection for her boyfriend came back as she imagined him pacing the floor with his hands in his hair. James was just worried about her, she knew it, but that didn't mean he was going to tell her she couldn't go play Quidditch. He knew better than to do that. Beside her, Peter picked up the pace.

"Hey Lily?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," Lily said as they walked down the main hallway.

Peter wrinkled his barbed nose, "what do you want to do when you get out of Hogwarts?"

Lily let out a half sigh, half laugh, "That's a very good question. Why?"

"Do you want to fight in the war?"

Lily glanced down at Peter in surprise. Of all the boys, he was always the least confrontational but right now, he seemed genuinely interested in her plans outside of Hogwarts. She wondered what brought his question on, but she didn't pry.

"I really meant it when I said I didn't know," Lily said, "I thought I wanted to work in the potions department at the Ministry back when I thought muggleborns couldn't be Aurors but now that I know we can—" she trailed off, thinking of Professor Rogers.

Peter stared at the plates in his hands as they began the decent to the kitchens, "so you _do_ want to fight in the war?"

"I guess for me," Lily said softly, thinking of everything that happened, "Fighting in the war will be inescapable."

"Yeah." He agreed softly but didn't look up from his plates.

"What about you?" she asked kindly, "Do you want to be a hero and lock up Death Eaters?"

"I don't think so," he said, "Not that I don't want to be a hero…I do…I just would really like if I could have a family first, live a normal life."

Lily looked at Peter in revelation, "Do you have a girlfriend?"

Peter nodded, "yeah, she's a Ravenclaw."

Lily asked with a soft smile, "do you love her?"

Peter flushed an even deeper red, "Yeah, I guess."

Lily could tell he was embarrassed, so she switched the attention from peter to his mates.

"So, you're seeing a girl." Lily mused, "James is seeing me. What about Sirius and Remus? Do they have any special ladies in their lives?"

Peter seemed relieved at the change of subject, "Well Sirius might get all the looks, but he doesn't do anything about it. Remus is too afraid to get into a relationship 'cause of his furry little problem so he's sworn off any relationships."

" _Furry little problem_?" Lily remarked.

"That's what James calls it." Peter explained, "Remus thinks it's funny."

"Merlin, I love him." She snickered as they made it to the kitchens, "I never thought I would ever fall for him, funny how life works."

Peter glanced at her with a tiny smile, "He's happier you know," he told her as he opened the portrait with his foot, "We all think so. I haven't heard him sing in the shower in years, but now he does it all the time."

Lily felt her heart swell, "Yeah?"

"You're good for him, Evans."

Peter nodded as he led the way into the kitchen with the dirty dishes. The house elves were quick to take their dirty dishes and offer them more food. Peter and Lily both politely turned down taking an entire tray of cookies back to the common room. One of the elves tried to give Lily an entire pudding dish. Peter was a favorite of the house elves because a lot of them asked him to visit again soon. He had to thank all of them before they left and Lily thought it was really sweet, even if Peter did look overwhelmed by the prodding elf fingers.

Lily led the way up the stairs to the main hallway. Peter followed Lily back up the staircase but didn't leave her as she headed in the direction of the quidditch field. Instead, he followed, his hands stuffed in his pockets. Lily didn't question it, in fact, she rather liked Peter. He wasn't as brash as Sirius and he had more of an acquitted personality than James or Remus.

"What was it like," Peter suddenly asked as they exited the double doors and out into the wintry November air, "being a muggleborn in Slytherin."

"Weird."

"Did you feel safe?"

Lily glanced at Peter, running her fingers through her hair, "I did for a while," she admitted, "Severus really made sure I had no reason to be disliked by anyone in our year. I used to think that was because—" she faltered, "Well, he really wanted to make sure we were both protected from the purebloods."

Peter shrugged, kicking at the ground as they walked, "why did you want to tell everyone, if you were safe?"

Lily crossed her arms, "I didn't really feel true to myself."

Peter eyed her closely, "you're really brave for being yourself, Evans."

"You know you can call me Lily."

"I spent so many years hearing James curse your last name, I don't think there'll ever be a time where I won't call you Evans," Peter chuckled, "But I promise to try and remember, Lily."

They were early to the pitch, most of the team probably wouldn't be there yet. Lily waved goodbye to Peter (who seemed to know he shouldn't go to Slytherin's quidditch practice for his own prosperity) and made her way to the locker room. Marissa was already there getting dressed in her warm quidditch gear. She perked up at the sight of Lily.

"Oh, thank Merlin," she exhaled, standing up from tying her laces and racing over to throw her arms around Lily's shoulders, "I was worried you'd chicken out."

Lily hugged her chaser back in surprise, "I had no idea you liked me that much, honestly."

Marissa pulled back with a half a smile, "Sorry," she apologized, "I know I never talked much before but it's just because I never really felt like I had to say anything before. You took care of it on your own."

Lily shook her head, "are you saying you're pro-muggleborn?"

Marissa smiled, her lips stretching to reveal shiny white teeth, "I certainly don't hate muggleborns by any means."

"Well, that's a relief."

"No, what's a relief is you coming to practice. I don't know if I could've taken another drill set run by Crabbe."

Marissa walked away to grab her cleats, putting them on next as Lily dug through her locker to pull out her uniform. The silver and green fabric looked strange against her skin as she pulled it on, seeing as she'd been living in Mary and Marlene's clothes. Lily put her earmuffs on and her gloves on. When she looked in a mirror, she noted that she once again looked like her old self, the one Severus dressed her up to be.

She blinked twice and tried to block out the feeling that Severus had primed her and groomed her into a Slytherin. She wondered what she would've become had she let the hat chose which house she went into. She was proud to be a Slytherin, after all Slughorn was her head of house, but now that she knew about Severus the silver and green felt a little out of place on her body.

Marissa caught Lily looking at her refection and asked, "alright, Lily?"

'Fine." Lily said, "Let's go get our brooms and do a quick flight before everyone else arrives."

Marissa perked up at the thought of a secluded flight and the girls went out into the cold brisk air together. The broom shed was attached to the back of the stadium and should've been unlocked so Lily didn't question it when they found the door cracked. It looked like someone had been there recently because there was mud on the ground from boots. Marissa picked up her broom from where it was leaning against the wall. Lily looked around for her broom, confused when she didn't find it on the stand where she'd left it last.

"Holy Agrippa."

Lily spun when she heard Marissa gasp from behind near a long table where there was broomstick polish and paints. Marissa was staring at something on the table and Lily's heart skipped when she recognized the familiar bristled end of a broomstick. When Lily made it over to the desk her fingers fell onto the broomstick in shock. Someone had taken Lily's broomstick and broken it into four splintered pieces. On each piece, they'd taken some of the black touch up paint, and written _'go home mudblood'_ in messy scribbling.

Marissa dropped her broomstick on the ground as Lily felt tears slip from her eyes. The tears hit the pieces of broomstick as Lily pulled them together, collecting them in her arms. Marissa's eyes were wide as Lily stared at the pieces of her broomstick sadly.

"This is my fault," Marissa assumed, "Oh Merlin, Lily, I know this is all my fault!"

Lily looked at Marissa in perplexity, "What do you mean?"

Marissa pressed her fingernails into her cheeks and she spewed out rapidly, "I told Regulus at lunch that you were coming back to practice and Knott said you _weren't_ and I got mad, so I told him that the only thing that would stop you was if your broom was wrecked."

Lily's mouth opened and then she closed it again, unable to talk. It was a low blow, especially for Knott, who had known Lily. Lily knew that she and Knott were no longer friends, but his blatant betrayal sent her into a gloomy spiral. She wanted to go run into the castle and demand to be sorted into Gryffindor so she could play against Slytherin and beat them all into the mud with James.

Why did people have to be so cruel?

She wanted to scream.

She wanted to sob.

But all of those things were exactly what Knott, Rosier, and Crabbe wanted her to do.

Lily straightened, inhaled, tossed her broomstick pieces back onto the table, and looked down at Marissa seriously. Marissa looked as if she'd just killed Lily's cat. Thankfully, Lily knew Juniper was safe up in James' dorm room where she'd permanently taken up residence under James' demand. Lily soothed Marissa, knowing he third year was blaming herself.

"It's not your fault that they're absolutely awful human beings Marissa." Lily said, wiping the residual tears from her cheeks, "and this isn't going to stop me. I'm going to take back this team. Will you help me?"

Marissa replied tearfully, "I'd push Knott off the astronomy tower if you asked."

Lily managed a small smile, remembering James offering to do something similar once to Mulciber.

"I'll just use one of the school brooms." Lily said, "If they say anything about the broomstick, ignore it. They want a reaction."

Marissa stared at Lily wonderingly, "how are you staying so cool about all this?"

"I'm done playing their games." She said, "and if they think they can send me running, they've got another thing coming to them."

Indeed, once practice started, Knott and Crabbe both looked angry when they saw Lily standing with Marissa in the middle of the field with a borrowed broomstick. Lily knew by both their obnoxious looks that they'd been the one to break her broomstick. She couldn't wait to get them back for destroying one of her most prized possessions. She stood poised, ready to strike.

Like a snake, she'd been stepped on one too many times and she was going to bite this time.

"What are you doing here Evans?" Rosier was not too far behind the other boys and he looked disgusted, "this pitch is reserved for Slytherins _only_."

"In case you've forgotten," Lily said shortly as the three seventh years got closer, "I _am_ a Slytherin."

"Really?" Knott asked snottily, "Because I heard you got kicked out of the Slytherin dorms, mudblood."

Lily bristled but didn't back down, "If you missed seeing me that much Knott, you could've just said something."

"Amelia said your stuff was moved from the dorm Evans."

"Lily was staying in my dorms last night." Marissa spoke up, lying, for Lily, "she stayed with me."

Knott turned his eyes on third year Marissa, "No one asked you, third year."

"Addie Philinger was in the Hospital Wing last night for a stomach ache." Marissa didn't flinch away from Knott's scowl, "Lily stayed in her bed."

"I'm sure Addie will want to know that," Rosier sneered, "so she can burn her sheets."

"Do you have a problem, Rosier?" Lily turned away from Knott to glare at Rosier, the one she hated the most out of all of them.

"Only that they allow your kind into Hogwarts in the first place."

"The only reason you're still around is because daddy's protecting you." Lily wasn't going to let Rosier win, if he wanted to fight she was ready to go.

Rosier narrowed his eyes at Lily, "And Snape may have protected you, Evans, but he's not here anymore."

"Yeah," Lily said dispassionately, "Good riddance. Now, unless you want to join him, I suggest you go get your broom and start doing laps, Rosier."

"You're not the Captain of this team."

"Like Hell I'm not." Lily spat and stepped forward, coming eye to eye with Rosier aggressively, "Slughorn made _me_ Slytherins captain."

"You don't deserve the title!" Rosier snarled, "I deserved that spot and you know it Evans."

"Rosier's dad was quidditch captain," Crabbe added, "It was Rosier's birthright and you stole it from him."

"I didn't steal anything." Lily said firmly, "And if you lot think that I'm going to give my _earned_ position up because of a few whiny purebloods, you're delusional."

"Hooch won't let you keep running practices." Marissa spoke up, "I looked at the rules and unless Lily is voted out by the whole team, she's Captain."

"I don't want her here." Crabbe said.

"Note how Marissa said the _whole_ team, Crabbe." Lily snapped at the thick boy unpleasantly.

"No one wants you here, Evans."

"I want her here." Marissa said proudly, being a better Slytherin than half of the people Lily used to call her friends, "and I'm not the only Slytherin on this team who prefers Evans to you, Rosier."

Rosier and Lily stared each other down. Lily refused to move away first, refused to ever bow down and let Rosier have his way again. She was tired of letting the purebloods get to her. She was brave, strong, and way more fit to run the quidditch team than they were. Just because Lily picked to be in Slytherin, didn't make her any less of one.

"You've gotten too cocky, hanging around all those Gryffindors." Rosier sneered at her.

"Broomstick." She repeated lethally, " _Now_ , Rosier."

"Or what?"

"Or I go to Slughorn and ask him to suspend you from this team."

"My dad's head of the school board," Rosier threatened, "Slughorn would never."

"Fine," she said, "I'll go to Dumbledore instead then."

"Dumbledore knows who my father is."

"Dumbledore doesn't give a shit who your father is Rosier," Lily said, "And neither do I."

Lily didn't consider that maybe she spoke out of turn. She didn't even think that she'd basically told Rosier that Dumbledore was onto his father's games. All she could think about was the wavering expression on Rosier's face as she realized he couldn't intimidate Lily into submission. Rosier looked down at her for a moment longer. Suddenly, from down the field, there was a cheer.

"Lily's back!"

"Evans!"

A mollified smirk curved onto Lily's face as Rosier grew angrier.

"Hear that, Rosier?" she chirped, "sounds like I'm wanted."

Rosier stalked away from her, "just wait, Evans." He shouted, "one day you won't have any friends around to make you so brave!"

Crabbe and Knott glared at Lily as they followed their leader to the broom shed. Lily stared after them, her eyes deadly. If looks could kill, all three boys would be on the cold hard ground. As the rest of her team filed in she shouted at all of them to get their brooms.

"We're doing drills today!" she announced, "no back talk, or you're running five laps around this field!"

Marissa came to stand next to Lily in support of Lily's proclamation, "it's good to have you back, Captain."

"Thanks for backing me up." Lily told the third year kindly, "And for lying, I know you know that I've been staying with the Gryffindors."

"Well," Marissa smirked, "We can't all be perfect, I won't tell anyone you've been wearing a bit of red and gold."

"I'm going to have to show up to the Slytherin common room just to keep them from pestering you."

"It's fine," Marissa said cheerfully, "you can hang out with me and we can play chess or something."

Reg Black clapped Lily on the back when he spotted her, "I asked Slughorn if you were coming to practice and he said he didn't know."

"I heard last practice was bad." She smiled at Sirius' brother sympathetically, "Go get your broom and we'll work on some runs for the snitch, alright?"

"Great Evans, thanks!"

All in all, it was a semi-normal Slytherin quidditch practice. A lot of glares were sent Lily's way, but most of them were from the same three gits. Lily made sure that Rosier and Knott had to run the most. By the time practice was over, Lily was feeling a bit more like the Captain again. Some of her teammates, especially Marissa, thanked her continually for not ditching them.

James showed up about five minutes after practice, wrapped up in a cloak against the cold. He knocked shoulders with Crabbe as he made his way over to where Lily was telling Regulus that his dives were getting better. When Lily turned to see James standing there waiting for her attention, felt butterflies in her stomach.

Lily jumped into his arms, tucking her head into the crook of his neck before pulling back to beam at him. His hair blended into the dark hood he wore over his head and his glasses were sliding down his nose as he stared at her devotedly.

"Hey baby," he kissed her cheek as members of Lily's team watched with wide eyes.

Lily realized that for some of them, this was the first time they'd ever seen James and Lily together as a couple. Marissa's jaw was almost dropped to the floor and Reg Black looked perplexed. Lily ignored all their stares, focused instead on her boyfriend who had clearly walked down to the pitch just so he could walk her back to the castle.

She asked anyways, "what are you doing here?"

"Wanted to make sure your team didn't kill you."

Lily grew sour, thinking of her broomstick. James saw her euphoric expression slip and his fingers tightened around her. Hazel eyes were piercing into Lily, demanding an explanation. Lily glanced down at the broom resting at her feet, the student one she'd borrowed, before looking back up at him.

"Someone trashed my broom."

"What?" James yelped, "Who?"

"We don't know exactly who, but we have a few guesses."

I'm sure." He said with a furrowed brow, "Fucking hell, did you tell Hooch?"

"No," Lily said, "They wanted a reaction out of me James, I'm not going to give it to them."

"I'll give them a damn reaction," James turned, his eyes glaring after the people leaving the pitch.

"You will not," Lily said, touching his cheek and James looked at her with fire in his eyes, "don't give those gits the time of day James Potter. You understand?"

Gruff, he muttered, "Fine."

Lily smiled at his clear displeasure for her order. She leaned up on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. His face was warm from all the pent-up frustration. It was clear the fighter in his was ready to go to war for her, if only she asked. As much as she appreciated James' willingness to fight anyone who even breathed wrong in her direction, she didn't want that.

"You don't need to save me." she reminded him.

James couldn't resist giving her a perceptive smile, "you're _sure_ you don't want me to go pummel them within an inch of their lives?"

Lily pinched him lightheartedly and leaned up to whisper in his ear, "just beat Hufflepuff next week, that ought to be punishment enough."

The way James kissed Lily after those words was a little inappropriate in front of a bunch of her teammates. She could hear them whispering behind their hands. They could call Lily whatever they wanted, she didn't care, not with James as fit as a daydream in her arms.

The next week was filled with Lily struggling to get back her life after Severus Snape was expelled. Lily managed to make her way into the Slytherin common room without dying, only because Marissa had collected a small group of fellow Slytherins who still treated Lily like she was worth time and energy. Marissa was Lily's saving grace, always there to help Lily in practice when Rosier, Knott, and Crabbe made snarky comments. Regulus Black was a wiz when it came to repairing malfunction brooms, but he was unable to fix Lily's broomstick. He handed it back to Lily apologetically at dinner one night. Lily ignored Rosier's smirk in her direction when Reg told her it was unfixable.

Despite the rumors circulating her, and the trouble with her fellow Slytherins, Lily had honestly never been better-off. She spent her time split between Gryffindor and Slytherin, falling more and more into her own sense of self with each passing day. Without Severus, she realized how much she'd been held back. Instead of spending nights sneaking around with James or brewing with Sev in the potion's classroom, Lily was laughing with lots of new friends over games of exploding snap.

Mary was right and most people eventually got over the drama surrounding Lily's blood status. People got bored with Lily's life story and got used to seeing her split time between two houses. Lily was back in Slytherin robes that Professor Slughorn had ordered her out of the kindness of his heart.

Lily felt better than she ever had, mostly, because of James.

The night before his game against Hufflepuff, they both sat in the Head's Office going over the round schedule for December. James' fingers were tracing across her back, feeling the length of Lily's spine as he made sure they'd gotten all the hallways covered. They had a meeting with the prefects after the game. It was the first meeting since Gansley, Snape, and Clark were expelled so Lily was nervous. James was certain there wouldn't be any trouble, but Lily still wanted to go over everything to make sure. James did whatever he could to help keep her anxiety low.

"Can you get the Hogsmede schedule?" she asked James once they were done with the rounds chart, "I want to make sure all the muggleborns are paired up."

"Are you paired up with someone?" James asked as he leaned over to grab the Hogsmede list from the cabinet closest to him, "I don't want you wandering Hogsmede alone."

Lily glanced sideways at him and saw James was serious. Lily leaned into his shoulder, placing her head on his shoulder. Her hand rubbed his arm, her eyes tracing the lines on his face.

"What's wrong, James?"

James lowered the paper onto the desk, "Aren't you worried about Snape?"

Lily bristled and she thought of her ex-best friend. He'd been expelled, but that only meant that he wasn't allowed back at Hogwarts. There were no rules about Hogsmede. Sirius had mentioned something about Snape showing up to Hogsmede too and Lily wondered if James had talked about Snape to his mates. It was clear they were all worried Snape wasn't done, not yet.

Lily immediately tried to talk herself, and James, out of fearing the worst.

"He wouldn't be that stupid." Lily said firmly, "He wouldn't."

"I don't trust him."

"I don't either James," Lily said, grabbing his hand and squeezing it, "but if he does show up, I'm not letting him get one word out and I'm not afraid to get any of the patrolling Aurors involved."

"I'm more worried about when you're _alone_." James emphasized, leaning his forehead into hers, "Snape's not dumb, he knows you'll try to stay with a group. He'll wait until you're alone, baby, and I don't want him to hurt you."

"Then I won't be alone." She closed her eyes and kissed him slowly before pulling back to say, "I'll be with you or the girls."

"I don't think I could take it if anything ever happened to you."

James leaned into kiss her again, his hands lifted to hold her cheeks in place as Lily melted into his touch. She'd kissed James plenty of times, but this was much sweeter, much more calculated than his normal kisses. She broke away and surveyed his expression, trying to read him.

"I love you." She told him, her hand lifting to caress his, "so much."

He was quiet and then softly he said, "I got you a gift."

"I hope it's new broomstick." She joked as he pulled away and leaned down to grab his bag.

"Not quite."

She watched as he fumbled through lose papers and books before he pulled out two stubs and waved them in front of her face with a soft smile. Lily eyed him warily as he took the pieces of parchment from his hand and turned them over so she could read the small type-print. When her brain registered the words written down and the dates her head shot back up and a wide smile overtook her face.

"You got me Swift Broomsticks tickets?" she asked animatedly.

James chuckled warmly at her overjoyed expression and nodded, "Mum sent them, told me I ought to take you on a proper date over the break."

Lily's hands dropped, the tickets falling into her lap as she stared at James in wonder, "You told you parents about me?"

James adjusted his glasses awkwardly, "yeah, is that okay?"

Lily blinked at him, totally flabbergasted, "yes?" she breathed, "but this probably means I should tell my parents about you, huh?"

James' smile got wider, "I'd like that."

He kissed her again, and she broke it off quickly to look down at the tickets again merrily. Two front row tickets to the Swift Broomsticks. It wasn't a new broomstick, but Lily didn't mind, she could keep using the school brooms until school was over. A chance to see her favorite band with her favorite person was more than enough. Lily bit her lip, trying to keep her smile under control as she threw her arms around James' shoulders for a large hug.

James' arms snaked around her waist, tugging at her. Lily slid from her chair to his lap easily, her lips quickly finding residence on his neck. James' fingers traced up and down her spine as she kissed her way across his skin. She had her fingers wrapped up in his curls and she smiled when she heard his soft sigh as she tugged on the strands to angle his head up more. By the time they were done snogging, they'd had to pick up the gifted tickets from the floor along with Lily's headband and James' long sleeved quidditch jumper.

Lily stole the jumper before James could get it. Lily tossed the scarlet wool over her head, contentedly breathing in the scent that enveloped her. She wished she knew the cologne James used because she'd happily buy it to cover her clothes and blankets in his crisp scent. James leaned against the Head office door, his eyes tracing the way the jumper hugged her curves as she fit herself into it more snugly. Lily fluffed her hair and winked at him as she walked forward to take his hand.

"Wearing that to the game tomorrow?" he asked hopefully as they walked out into the hall.

"Can I?"

James twisted her, making Lily laugh as he pressed her up against the closest wall. One of his hands stayed in her grasp but his other hand lifted to trace the letters across her chest. He traced each letter of his last name slowly, his eyes occasionally lifting her hers. Goosebumps rose on her skin from his soft touches and smoldering eyes.

"You can wear my name anytime you like."


	16. This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things (Part 1)

_Chapter 16:_

_And here's to you,_

_'Cause forgiveness is a nice thing to do_

_(_ I can't even say that with a straight face _)_

_This is why we can't have nice things._

James woke up early the morning of the game against Hufflepuff, as per his game-day routine. Lily hadn't left the dorm that night, instead she was still curled up at the edge of the bed, her head in her hands as she slept soundly under his covers. Juniper, her extremely fat and extremely fluffy cat, was on the pillow above her head. Lily talked in her sleep, he didn't know if she knew it. Even now, she was mumbling under her breath. James wasn't able to understand her, but he thought it was adorable that even in her sleep, she had something to say. The morning sun drifted through the cracks in the fourposter hangings and it lit her hair on fire. James' fingers reached out attentively, and he ran them through her tangled auburn strands.

She had abandoned his jumper in the night and James was rather sad to note that. He'd loved seeing her proudly wear his name and wished she'd wear his name for the rest of her life. When he was young and had no actual knowledge about what real love was, James would've thought it insane that someone in a bulky knit could ever be sexy. Then, last night, he saw Lily prancing about the castle in his jumper and all of a sudden it was the cutest thing in the world. He saved the memory for a rainy day, a memory of her, twirling around the dorm to a Swift Broomsticks song and singing into a hairbrush.

James scooted closer to Lily on the edge of the bed, leaning up to press a kiss to her temple. She shifted, one green eye fluttering open for a moment before it closed again sleepily. James gracelessly shifted over her, letting her sleep as he got ready to grab an early breakfast. He was trying to sneak through the curtains of his four-poster when her fingers closed around his wrist.

"Where are you going?" her voice was heavy with sleep.

James chuckled as he glanced back to find her green eyes blinking groggily at him, "it's game day, Evans."

Lily woke a bit more, "you do realize the game isn't until this afternoon, right?"

"Yes, I realize." He laughed as he put on his trainers, "but I need to practice, I always do."

Lily pouted her lip, "but I'm cold."

"I've got the perfect remedy."

"You, back under the covers?" she asked impishly.

"No."

James arched a brow at her, reached down to the floor where he knew his discarded jumper was and tossed it at Lily's face. She screeched and then laughed as it hit her face. She pulled it down from her rosy cheeks, biting her lip at him as her laughter faded out. James couldn't resist leaning down and pressing a quick kiss to her cheek before drawing back the curtains for real. The sunlight from the window was blinding and Lily grumbled audibly, rolling her face into the pillow.

James changed into his uniform, Lily watching from out of the corner of her eye.

"What are you going to do if Hufflepuff wins?" she asked, her voice partially muffled by the pillow.

"They can't."

"They _could_."

"Get out of my bed and back to Slytherin if you're going to talk like that, snake."

She laughed naughtily as she lounged back in his bed, crossing her legs under the covers, "Wanna make a bet?"

James walked over to her, leaning over her with a devilish glare, "A bet?"

"If Gryffindor wins," she said offhandedly, "I owe you a drink in Hogsmede this weekend."

"And if Hufflepuff wins?" he inhaled, his nose touching hers, "what do you want?"

"You owe me a drink in Hogsmede,"

"That's _all_ you want?" he waggled his eyebrows expressively.

"I could think of a few other things," she established before adding, "but I'll let you use your imagination."

She winked and Merlin help him, he almost got back into bed with her had it not been for Peter's sleepy voice one bed over.

"Would you two just shut up!"

James muffled his laughter into the crook of Lily's neck and her fingers wound in his hair, pulling his mouth to her skin. James got the hint and sucked carefully along her pulse point before dragging his lips up to hers for a quick kiss. When James pulled back, she was dreamily smirking, her eyes squinting up at him. She ran her fingers through his hair adoringly, her smile golden.

"I love you."

She sat up to kiss him one more time, "I love you more."

"Debatable." He said as he pulled away and grabbed his jumper, tossing it over his head.

"You look good in that jumper." Lily called to James as he left the dorm.

"Not as good as you."

James shot her a wink before leaving the room. Before the door closed, he saw her collapse back into the pillows, stretching like the cat resting above her head. James knew, as he descended the staircase, that he would be blessed to see that view every day, for the rest of his life. He was skipping three steps when he found out that two people were waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs.

"What are you two doing up early?"

"Like we don't know your game-day routines."

Marlene McKinnon said from beside Anna Faith, James' skilled seeker. The girls were leaning up against the wall, making it appear that they'd been waiting a while for him.

"Lily with you?" Marlene asked casually.

"Why?" James asked as he jumped the last step and shot Marlene a wink, "Jealous, McKinnon?"

Marlene's mouth corners lifted, "she's pretty hot."

Anna punched Marlene in the gut, "really?" she asked, "in front of me?"

"Why'd you ask?" James grinned at Marlene.

"Well normally on a game day you're downstairs by six and it's currently…" Marlene glanced at her wrist watch, "six fifteen."

James purposefully pushed Anna playfully when he saw her grimace, "yes," he said with a roll of his eyes, "Lily slept here last night."

Marlene stuck out a hand to Anna, "Pay up, Faith."

"You bet on it!" James laughed as Anna begrudgingly pulled a sickle from her pocket and handed it to Marlene.

Marlene pocketed her win while saying indifferently, "of course I bet on it."

The three Gryffindors started for the portrait hole. Anna and Marlene were two of James' favorite players, both of them as quidditch crazy as he was. He was happy that his team had such strong players on it. Marlene was destined to go pro, her skills as a beater undeniable. James had lucked out with her on his team.

They Gryffindor's made their way to breakfast quickly, all of them itching to get on their broomsticks for one last lap before the game that afternoon.

"Why did Evans stay in Gryffindor tower last night?" Anna asked as they grabbed toast from the Great Hall platters without stopping on their way out to the pitch, "I heard she was back in Slytherin."

"She doesn't like sleeping in Slytherin," James replied, "she only goes there so that she can stay in control of the quidditch team."

Marlene tilted her head at James, "why haven't they just sorted her into Gryffindor already?"

"Lily likes being a Slytherin, she chose it." James shrugged, "And as long as she's happy, I'm happy."

"But she's got to be miserable surrounded by all those pureblood Slytherins." Marlene grumbled, "I mean Rosier? He's absolutely disgusting, and Crabbe is just as repulsive."

"She's just doing quidditch stuff." James said, "and she has a few friends in Slytherin, the younger kids look up to her a lot."

"Being a muggleborn in Slytherin and still putting the purebloods in their place?" Anna said from beside Marlene, "Evans deserves Head Girl of the year."

Marlene nodded, "yeah, no I get that's she's handling it all well but if she's too worried to sleep someplace then shouldn't she just permanently move?"

"McGonagall said they don't resort students." James explained the situation for Marlene, "and Lily said she doesn't want to be resorted."

"I think she should just start wearing Gryffindor robes and call it a day."

"If she starts doing that," James reasoned, "her team won't let her play quidditch."

"So, she can play on our team." Marlene glanced at James weirdly, "why are you so against it? It's like you _want_ her to be a Slytherin."

James shoved one of his hands into his pocket, "it's a part of who she is Marlene, I'm not going to ask her to change just because of a stupid quidditch rivalry."

Marlene pouted, "I guess you're right."

"I'm always right."

"Oh Merlin, shut up."

Marlene pushed him and he cackled as he stumbled forward. They worked hard that morning, were late to their classes, and then were right back out on the pitch. Quidditch was James' lifeblood and he put it over everything else—even his girlfriend. Lily didn't seem to mind, in fact she understood completely. They waved at each other in passing and she sat next to him in class but other than those brief moments together, James' mind was only on quidditch plays.

The weather was prime, clear skies and the rare Scottish sun for ample snitch spotting light. James knew Gryffindor had the game in the bag, and he wasn't the only one. Hufflepuff dragged themselves onto the field, eyes wary as they stared across at the Gryffindor side.

"Alright Team," James said loudly as they stretched, "we can't let Hufflepuff score more than six hundred points."

"Yeah, or Slytherin will be close enough in points to take us for the cup." Marlene added, hostile, "and no one wants them to win."

"Isn't James' new girlfriend Slytherin's quidditch captain?" Thomas McCarthy snickered into his hand.

James shot the young Gryffindor a glare, "That's right McCarthy, and there's no way in hell I'm letting her ruddy team win so she can lord it over my head for the rest of my life…so you'd better catch all your passes."

That shut McCarthy up right away and all his mates sniggered.

The game started relatively slow, in James' sense of time anyways. Five minutes in, and no one had managed to score a goal. Hufflepuff started with the quaffle but James' chasers were always right behind, stealing the scarlet ball out from under Hufflepuff's noses. Hufflepuff's Captain to a bludger to the head twenty minutes in and hurtled into the stands on Gryffindor side. Of course, Hufflepuff tried to call a foul on Marlene but they swiftly gave up when Marlene (true to her nature) started screaming like a bloody banshee when Hooch tried to bench her. James had to step in and tell Marlene to go for a lap before Hooch kicked her off the field.

All in all, even with the drama surrounding Hufflepuff's captain, it was a dull game. Even James had to admit that there was nothing exciting really happening out on the field in the game. No one was scoring, so it was just one giant game of keep-away. James would have to settle for a boring game though, he wasn't about to give Slytherin anymore of an edge.

James' eyes scanned the nearby stands for Lily. He knew that she was seated with some of her new friends, but James was moving too fast to spot her amongst the Gryffindors in the stands. He did another lap, ordering Anna to catch the snitch quickly or die trying, before taking the quaffle from Hufflepuff and scoring the first goal.

Gryffindor side roared excitedly when James scored. James could hear sighs of relief coming from both ends of the pitch, people had been getting restless with no goals. Someone began to start a chant of James' name as he and the other Gryffindor chasers preformed a lap in celebration of the first score. From then on, James encouraged his team to make goals. James grew antsy waiting for the call from the commentator that Anna had spotted the snitch.

Finally, while resetting their plays after Hufflepuff finally scored, that the Quidditch commentator spoke up excitedly over the loudspeaker.

"I do believe that's Faith, number 43, making her way up field! She's followed closely behind by Barons! Looks like the snitch has finally been spotted!"

James swiveled his broomstick around and caught sight of Anna, leaning into her broom at top speed. She'd spotted the snitch floating above the heads of the people standing in the western box. Hufflepuff's seeker was hot on her trail but Anna only pushed harder, rocketing towards the win. James watched with bated breath as Anna leaned forward and stretched out her hand. The entire pitch watched as Anna simultaneously caught the snitch and ended up barreling into the stands. The broomstick kept going without Anna when she fell into the stands. At first all James could see was a tangled of bodies, Anna wrapped up in the mess. He started zooming over as Anna suddenly stood up admits the bodies and held up a brightly golden snitch.

"Yes, Anna, way to go!" James punched the air, pulling his broomstick to a stop as the entire crowd erupted into cheers.

Anna waved the snitch around madly, grinning in the laps of the people she'd launched herself into. James was laughing, relief flooding through his body as he did the math in his head. Slytherin would have to beat Ravenclaw by over 400 points to even catch up. They had basically won the quidditch cup. As the Quidditch commentator announced Gryffindors win, James felt on top of the world. He was alone in the middle of the airspace for only ten more seconds and then his team started dogpiling midair.

"We won!" Marlene hurtled into James midair, almost knocking him off his broomstick.

James' chasers also piled in, hooting loudly like a batch of mad wizards. The broomsticks lowered as the team celebrated. When James' feet touched the pitch, the entire Gryffindor team was gathered there. Anna made it down last, seeing as she had to grab her broomstick from the back of the stands. When she arrived holding the snitch aloft, James rocketed her onto his shoulders with Marlene's help.

The party in the Gryffindor common room was thrown in Anna's honor. James toasted to her three separate times, feeling as if his own child had caught the snitch. Anna was basking in the glow of the win, her smile wide and angelic as she accepted congratulations. The party was loud and took up the whole common room, base beats blasting off the walls as students danced and sang together in celebration.

James was laughing at something Marlene was saying about Anna when a small hand slipped into his from behind. James looked down at his side and his smile grew even more as his laughter died on his lips. Lily stood staring up at him with stars in her eyes, she was wearing his favorite slacks and Gryffindor colors in the form of someone's stolen jumper. The maroon and gold brought out her rosy complexion.

"When did you sneak in?" he asked her.

Lily said nothing as she started pulling him away from the burning fireplace and crowds. She guided him, walking backwards through the crowd of partying Gryffindors. One step at a time, he followed her, his eyes tracing the way she looked at him like she was taking his clothes off already. Her green eyes were glinting wickedly as she squeezed his hand three times before she led him up the boy's staircase.

If anyone noticed them slip away from the party, they said nothing.

James' eyes were trapped on her, feeling like she was a siren, dragging him to his own death. He could care less about the party as they fell into each other recklessly against the dormitory door. His arms were around her neck, keeping her in place.

"You played well today."

He tried to sound casual, but his heart was picking up pace, "I vaguely remember a bet we made?"

Her fingers traced his jaw, "do you?"

"Skip the drink?" he asked, "my imagination's running wild."

"I'm sure." She said, "Which is why I told your mates to stay downstairs and not come up here for another hour, if not longer."

James didn't waste another second and he started kissing her, using his tongue to open her mouth against his own. Lily's fingers seemed to instinctively sink into his hair, hooking in his curls and tugging lightly. Her mouth was searing against his, meeting him for every stroke of the tongue with a clever response of her own. Eagerly, James nudged her backwards with his hips until there was not a breath of air between them.

It was almost like flying to James. He felt high above the rest of the world whenever Lily broke away to take a breath only to come crashing back in each time with more fervor. Her tongue was grazing against the roof of his mouth, her teeth were tugging his lower lip sensually, and her fingers seemed permanently locked in his hair. James felt her lean up on her tiptoes, changing the angle of the kiss before she pulled away completely to stare at him indulgently.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked her, one of his hands sweeping through her auburn hair.

Her reply was profound, "the prefect's bath."

James grinned roguishly, "what about the prefect's bath?"

Instead of telling him, Lily slowly lowered her hands from his hair. Her fingertips traced along the bridge of his nose and down his neck. The result was a shiver shooting down his spine as her hands dragged down his chest until she reached the elastic of his quidditch gear. Lily leaned onto her tiptoes eagerly, her eyes cunning, as she kept her fingers wrapped in his waistband and started kissing his neck thirstily. Her tongue swept against his skin, tasting him like he was sweeter than Christmas pudding and he leaned into her mouth as his own hands reached under her jumper, pushing fabric aside until he had his fingers tracing every familiar arc on her body.

There was something about her kiss that always made him feel so good, so alive. She acted like she couldn't give him up, that he might disappear from her arms at any moment. Her teeth marked his skin like she was banding him. Her fingers pulled at his waist hastily like she couldn't get enough. One of her legs tried hooking at his waist and slipped so James let his hand fall out from under her jumper to lift her thigh higher.

 

"Who gave you the Gryffindor jumper?" James asked her.

"Marlene."

He'd have to thank his favorite beater later.

 

The jumper was loose at her shoulders, sliding so he could see the small spattering of freckles along her shoulder. He loved the way she bit her lip as she leaned forward so her hair created a curtain around their faces. Her green eyes were vivid and commanding as she spoke, making James' body hot to the touch.

"I was happy when you won," she whispered, "I'm so proud of you."

 

It was a god damned good thing there was a party going on downstairs because they didn't get anything but louder as they stumbled through the dormitory door together. It was way better than any wank, way better than their first go in the head office and James felt like he was in a whole other world. When she moved he moved and when she laughed, he laughed. They were just two people, falling in love with each other more and more with each passing moment together. She knew him better than anyone now, even Sirius. He knew her better than anyone too, knew how to elicit her private smiles and sacred whispers. James felt like he was seeing stars as he lay in bed with Lily, so in love.

What felt like years later, Lily glanced at the clock on James' bedside as he brushed her hair down her back with his fingers.

"We have to go to that prefects meeting."

James groaned as she rolled out of the bed without him to grab her discarded clothes. Leave it to Lily to go right back into real life after amazing sex. Begrudgingly, he sat up stretching. He watched cheerfully as she made herself presentable for public again. He was sad to see her skirt go back on. If he got anything for Christmas, he wanted Lily wrapped up in nothing but bows.

"I want you to meet my parents." He said suddenly, "over Christmas break."

Lily looked up from zipping up her skirt, "you want me to meet your parents?"

James nodded as he got out of bed to get dressed in his robes, "I can only describe you in so many letters before my mum wants to know when you'll be dropping by for tea."

Lily's smile was precious, "she invited me for tea?"

James didn't know how to tell Lily that she'd been invited over for tea the minute James had mentioned her in his letters at the start of the year. Instead, he grabbed a pair of clean robes to throw over his head casually. His head boy pin was nowhere to be found so James decided to forgo wearing it to the meeting.

"If I meet your parents," Lily said as he cleaned his glasses, "Then I want you to meet mine."

"I'd love to meet your family." James said, his brain already imagining what her family could possibly be like, "I've always wanted to know the muggle world better."

Suddenly, Lily froze, her eyes wide. James tilted his head at her in confusion, he didn't think he said anything particularly offensive. Lily bit her lip, her hands gripping at her borrowed jumper. She looked fretful, like someone had just walked in on them.

"What?" he asked of her deer-in-the-wandlight expression.

"If you meet my parents," she started hesitantly, "that means you have to meet my sister too."

James almost choked, "You have a sister?!"

Lily's shoulders dropped as she admitted, "Yes, her name is Petunia."

"Petunia." James arched a brow at his girlfriend, "does your family have a thing for flowers?"

"All the girls in my family are named after flowers." Lily waved his question away as if it weren't of any importance.

"Okay," James tilted his head at his girlfriend, "names aside, why do you look so nervous about me meeting your sister?"  
Lily braided her wavy hair to one side, tying it off with a rubber band, "My sister's hated magic and anything to do with it ever since Severus dropped a branch on her head when we were kids."

James' jaw dropped open, "he did _what_ to your sister?"

Lily walked over to where Juniper was sleeping. James watched as she picked her cat up and snuggled it like a stuffed animal. Juniper protested immediately and tried to crawl back onto Sirius' pillow as Lily explained her sister troubles.

"Petunia was jealous that I got a letter to Hogwarts and she didn't." Lily's voice sounded like she was worlds away, "Tuney and Severus never liked each other, in fact, they _hated_ each other. Petunia was spying on Sev and I once, and we caught her. Severus got upset and his accidental magic dropped a tree branch on her when she offended him."

"I like her already." James joked.

"She won't like you," Lily said, pushing her face into Juniper's fur, "the last six years she's pretended magic doesn't exist."

"What about you?"

Lily gave a simper of a smile, "if anyone asks about me my parents tell them I'm in an private program in Scotland. My sister tells all her friends I got knocked up and sent to a nunnery."

James snorted, "How pleasant."

"She lives to make me miserable." Lily confided, "and if you meet her I'm scared she'll run you off."

"It's gonna take more than a brattish sister to run me off." James assured her, "and I promise I won't drop a branch on her head."

"You'll want to after meeting her."

James arched a brow at her, "so you aren't mad that Snape attacked your sister?"

"We were _ten_ , James." Lily shot James a glare, "I did my own share of accidental magic back then too."

"Yeah, but you didn't try and drop a tree on your sister," he muttered sourly, thinking of how much he hated Snape.

"I'm not saying it was right," Lily said, "Especially knowing what I do now, but he wasn't lethal back then…just socially awkward."

James finished tying his shoes as he stated, "I don't think he's ever been totally sane, Lil. The bloke knew more dark magic than half the sixth years when we started out."

Lily, clearly not in the mood to argue about Severus Snape, looked at the clock again. Getting the hint, James sighed and grabbed his wand. They walked hand in hand, Lily still holding Juniper on her other arm. James laughed when he saw Juniper was still fighting Lily's hold.

"Why are you bringing the poor cat with us?" James asked as they made their way down the staircase, "She was perfectly content on Sirius' bed."

"Exactly," Lily laughed, "She was in Sirius' bed and I don't want him to maim or injure poor Juniper."

"I think he's started to grow on her," James reasoned, "I saw him give her a bit of his chicken sandwich the other day."

"I'll believe it when I see it." Lily sang as they made their way into the crowded common room together.

The party was still in full swing, only now there were third years dancing on a tabletop by the windows. James shouted at them to get down as he and Lily passed. The teenagers did as they were told, but not before shooting dejected looks at James. Remus spotted Lily and James from near the fireplace and waved, a knowing smile on his face. Sirius elbowed Peter and Peter raised a glass at the couple.

"Have a good shag?" Sirius asked as the couple walked up arm in arm.

James glared at his best mate, "You couldn't just let it go."

"Of course not," Sirius grinned, "The Head boy and girl shagging in the boy's dorms is definitely breaking about ten school rules."

"We've shagged in worse places."

Lily's voice was so casual, so witty, James couldn't help but roar with laughter. Lily grinned sideways at James before considering Sirius again. Sirius looked like Lily had told him that his favorite quidditch player had died.

"I don't want to know." Sirius said before looking at James, "Don't you two have some perfect prefect meeting to go too?" he glared at Juniper, "Or are you taking the demon from Hell for a walk?"

"Demon from Hell?" Lily looked accosted, "You take that back, Sirius Black."

Sirius winked at Lily, "there's a reason why dogs are man's best friend."

"Shove it Sirius," Remus intercepted before a war broke out, "I saw you give Juniper chicken last night from your pocket."

Sirius flushed red in protest as everyone around them laughed.

Remus stepped forward, clapping a hand on James' back, "let's go get this meeting over with."

James glanced down at Lily, who was still clutching Juniper, "is the cat coming?"

"Of course." Lily looked snubbed that James would even ask, "she could use some fresh air."

Juniper was too busy swatting at Lily's hair, irritated, to even notice she was being carried out of the Gryffindor common room. Remus and Lily were talking about some charms assignment they'd been given while they walked to the prefect's office. The halls were relatively quiet for a Friday night, but James preferred it that way. He kept his arm around Lily's shoulders as they walked, occasionally helping her to keep Juniper on her shoulder.

The prefects meeting room was next to the Head office and already filled with prefects by the time Lily, James, and Remus walked through the door. The Hufflepuffs offered small hellos to the Gryffindors, obviously still bitter about the game. A Ravenclaw named Sophie jumped up at the sight of Lily's cat. Lily passed Juniper to Sophie who because coddling the fat cat like they were old friends. James noted that Rosier and the other Slytherin prefects pointedly ignored Lily. She didn't seem bothered by their cold shoulders, instead she sat at the head of the table and pulled her notes from the cabinet to her right. James and Remus sat on each side of Lily, James throwing his feet onto the table casually. Juniper had started to get passed around by the prefects, everyone worshiping her like an Egyptian goddess.

"Nice playing in the game Potter," a Ravenclaw prefect told James, fluttering her eyelashes.

James saluted the girl, whose name he couldn't remember, "Thanks."

Lily looked up from her notes, glaring at the Ravenclaw before glancing back down at her notes. James knew that look, she'd gotten jealous, despite herself. He couldn't help but smirk as she passed over the rounds schedule. James passed the schedule to the side after his wink sent a slight flush across Lily's face.

Finally, the last few prefects walked in and Lily began the meeting.

"Thank you, guys, for coming." She announced loudly, killing the chatter, "I know it's Hogsmede tomorrow but that's why we're here, to go over safety initiatives."

"Can you make this fast, Evans?" Rosier called from down the table grumpily, "I've got places to be."

"Maybe you shouldn't interrupt her and waste everyone's time by making pointless comments." James shouted down to Rosier.

Rosier's nostrils flared, "I believe I owe you a shiner, Potter. Want one right now?"

"I dare you to try."

James and Rosier sat up in their chairs, eyeing each other up. A few prefects backed their chairs away from the table in fear that they'd get hit with crossfire if a fight broke out. Juniper roamed over to James, sitting in front of him like a protector. James pet the cat moodily, his eyes never leaving Rosier. Lily slammed her fist on the table, calling order.

"Don't make me give you both detentions." Lily sounded exhausted by the mere thought, "we just have to get through this rounds schedule so as long as no one interrupts me again, we should be done soon."

A knock at the prefect office door made every head turn. James blinked back his astonishment when Albus Dumbledore, the school's Headmaster, entered with a flourish of his purple robes. A few of the younger students offered Dumbledore greetings but the older students knew it was uncommon for the Headmaster to join in on prefect meetings. Dumbledore walked down the table until he made it behind James' chair.

"Don't stop on my account." Dumbledore said when silence reigned, "I can wait."

Lily and James shared a look, but Lily quickly returned to her agenda, "Right," she said tensely, "so the rounds are split up just like last time, if you check your sheets you'll notice we have spots in the castle and out in Hogsmede."

"I've got an extra fifteen minutes!" Amanda Fernley of Hufflepuff complained instantly when she got the schedule.

James spoke up in defense of the new times, "we did just lose two prefects, Fernley, round times had to be altered to be fair to everyone."

"Be thankful it's only fifteen minutes." Lily added, "James and I have an extra hour each."

Fernley still looked disappointed, but she crossed her arms and lowered herself in her seat, pouting. Lily explained where rounds would take place in Hogsmede and James explained the castle sections that would need to be covered. By the time they were done a half hour had passed and Dumbledore still stood waiting to speak.

When Lily managed to convey to the old Headmaster that they were done, Dumbledore took a moment to gather his thoughts. All the students around the table watched the silver-bearded man examine the faces of his student leadership. James didn't know if it was because he knew Rosier was trying to have Dumbledore fired, but Rosier looked at Dumbledore like he was a giant flobberworm digging through his garden.

"Thank you, James and Lily," Dumbledore spoke unexpectedly, his eyes lowering to Lily in particular, "for working so hard to smoothly transition the school in the midst of losing three students due to inappropriate acts of political propaganda."

James' eyes shot back down the table and watched Rosier shift uneasily in his seat. James couldn't help but wish Dumbledore could just expel Rosier and end the fight with the bloody git. Behind James, Dumbledore had grabbed ahold of the back of James' chair, casually leaning against it. Beside James, Remus was nervously chewing his cheek, eyes trained on the Headmaster.

"I'm here tonight," Dumbledore continued, "to remind you all, that when it comes to dealing with dark magic of any sort, I do not expect you to fight it head on. We have aurors patrolling the streets to keep you children safe, there is no reason to put yourself in harms way no matter what you may hear or see."

"Headmaster," Sophie raised her hand from across the table, "if it's going to be unsafe, why haven't you cancelled Hogsmede?"

"There is nowhere that is completely safe anymore, Miss Turner," Dumbledore told Sophie kindly, "if a Death Eater wished, I'm sure he could even find his way into this very castle."

A few of the younger prefects whispered in fear to each other. James saw Lily shifted uncomfortably at the head of the table, clearly thinking of some of her old pals from Slytherin. James wouldn't ever let them touch her, of course, but her concerns were still valid. Sophie tucked her golden hair behind her ear and leaned back in her seat, seemingly uncontent with Dumbledore's unflinching reply.

"I do not wish to cancel Hogsmede," Dumbledore continued, "Because in times like these there is a sense of hope in normalcy. If I cancel your trips, it only gives wizards like Voldemort more power because we are letting them control our lives."

James didn't often hear people refer to the dark wizard currently plaguing Britain by his name. Of course, Dumbledore had probably taught the wizard himself once, or at the very least knew him. James wondered if one day, anyone at the prefects table would elicit a similar reaction as the name Voldemort did when spoken out loud.

"We have teachers who will go through great lengths to see that all our students feel comfortable within reason." Dumbledore motioned to James and Lily, "Not to mention a wonderful team of leaders to help make our Hogsmede trips as safe as possible."

James could see that the prefects were confused, questions forming on the edges of their tongues. Even James had his own questions, even though he knew more than the average student. Dumbledore walked away from James' chair and to the other end of the table, positioning himself near Rosier.

"If any of you," Dumbledore's blue eyes dropped to Rosier, "should come into contact with any wizards or witches who seem dangerous, I ask that you go I the opposite direction and find an auror to report whatever you saw."

A Ravenclaw named Bertrum raised his hand, "Headmaster, are you saying we might see Death Eaters?"

Dumbledore stroked his beard, "while there have been no reports of Death Eaters in Hogsmede, that doesn't mean they aren't there."

Again, Dumbledore's eyes flickered to Rosier. A few prefects murmured to each other, clearly troubled. James knew why Dumbledore was warning the students, but he couldn't help but wonder if it might be too much for their newest prefects. Some of them were only thirteen years old after all and they currently looked too alarmed to even want to step outside the castle gates.

James stood up, capturing everyone's attention, "if you don't want to go on rounds alone," he said, "Or you don't want to go to Hogsmede at all, let me know privately. I'll take your shift."

Dumbledore smiled kindly at James, "Thank you, Mr. Potter."

Lily reached across the table to squeeze James' hand as he sat back down. James glanced her way and saw she was glowing with pride for him. He nodded at her before they listen to Dumbledore explain how to tell the Aurors apart from other witches and wizards. He also went over the expulsion of Clark and Gansley, something all the other prefects had been dying to hear about first hand.

When Dumbledore was done his lecture, he turned his cool blue eyes on James, "are you and Lily finished?"

"Yes." James glanced at Lily who nodded her agreement.

"Very well," Dumbledore clapped his hands together and then motioned to the prefects, "Everyone back to your dorms."

James and Lily stood up, waiting for everyone to exit. Remus, who sensed Dumbledore was hanging back to speak to James or Lily, made for the door without looking back but once. Eventually, the last prefect left the room and when the door closed, Professor Dumbledore turned his attention to James and Lily. Dumbledore motioned to Lily's borrowed Gryffindor jumper.

"Sporting Gryffindor colors now, Ms. Evans?" he asked conversationally, "Professor Slughorn was adamant to tell me you'd gone back to Slytherin colors."

"I was just supporting James' game today." Lily flushed slightly pulling at her borrowed jumper, "I do have new Slytherin robes that Slughorn kindly ordered for me."

Dumbledore walked over to a chair, dropping into it swiftly and motioned for Lily and James to join him. James settled into his abandoned seat and Lily sat in Remus' old seat, her brow furrowed. Dumbledore looked between the couple, the wheels in his head clearly turning. James could tell he had a lot on his mind.

"I'm sorry for interrupting your meeting." Dumbledore apologized, "I intended to show up once it ended."

"We were running a bit late because of the game today." Lily said, her hand reaching under the table to grab James' fingers as she spoke, "but I'm happy you told them why Clark and Gansley were expelled."

Dumbledore bobbed his head heavily, "Yes," he murmured, "of course, it's a shame the real perpetrator is still in my school."

James eagerly leaned forward, "You still think it's Rosier, don't you sir?"

Dumbledore patted down his beard, "his father did come into my office demanding to know how many more students I intended to expel before the term was over."

Lily's nose wrinkled with distaste, "First you aren't doing enough, and now you're doing too much?" she leaned back against her chair angrily, "What a hypocrite."

Dumbledore smiled at Lily, "you see my dilemma." He clasped his hands together, "but I'm not here to talk about my fight with the school board, I'm here to speak to the both of you about what you'd like to do after school."

The tone implied that Dumbledore was genuinely interested. Lily let go of James' hand under the table and brushed lose strands of her hair back into her messy side braid. James put an elbow on the table and tried to think about what he'd like to do after Hogwarts besides fight in the war. Lily seemed to be having the same predicament. Dumbledore chuckled at their puzzled expressions.

"I take it neither of you have made a choice career?" he asked.

James swallowed thickly, sending Lily a apprehensive glance before he admitted to Dumbledore, "I just want to fight in the war."

Something sparked behind Dumbledore blue eyes, "an Auror?"

James shook his head back and forth, "I don't know, I just want to kick some Death Eater arse."

"You certainly have your father's thirst to fight bullies." Dumbledore chuckled at James' response, "Fleamont must have severe déjà vu when he looks at you."

"My mum's a fighter too," James said, puffing his chest out smugly, "she used to be a curse breaker."

"I remember." Dumbledore said, clearly remembering James' parents fondly, "what about you Miss Evans? Any plans?"

James felt Lily shift next to him in her chair. He knew that Slughorn had been trying to talk Lily into some ministry internships but James didn't think she was particularly set on becoming a Ministry girl.

"Professor Rogers said that muggleborns can be Aurors." Lily said, earning James' undivided attention, "I'd like to make a difference and I think I could help a lot of people like me if I became an Auror."

"Professor Rogers would be a great contact." Dumbledore reminded Lily before addressing both of them, "and I, of course, would love to be a mentor to the both of you, as the year continues, and we get closer to graduation you both will be faced with a lot of difficult choices. I'd be happy to help guide you in the right direction."

"Really?" James enquired with genuine surprise, "You'll help us finds jobs?"

Dumbledore stood up from his chair, seeming happy with the turn of the covnersation, "You'll find Mr. Potter, that the perfect job typically falls right into your lap when you least expect it."

James reached up to ruffle his hair wonderingly, "what do you think we should do after Hogwarts?"

Dumbledore pet Juniper, who was still on the table, as he replied, "I think the both of you will find that working in a private sector might benefit you the most."

"A private sector?" Lily's brow furrowed in question, "are there people outside the Ministry fighting You-Know-Who?"

Dumbledore withdrew his hand from Juniper's head, shooting Lily a pondering smile, "what do you think, Miss Evans?"

Lily brushed her fingers down her braid thoughtfully, "Well," she said, "I'd imagine there are some people who don't agree with all the choices the Ministry makes…"

"There are more than just two sides to a war," Dumbledore said wisely, straightening and walking over to the door, "you'd both do best to remember that."

Dumbledore left them alone in the prefect office without another word. James slumped back in his chair, mind reeling with the information Dumbledore had given them. James wondered if Dumbledore had his own secret sector of wizards and witches, fighting the dark wizards. James knew that back when Grindlewald was murdering innocents that Dumbledore himself fought back with a band of renegade witches and wizards from America. James wondered if the same thing was happening now, only in secret.

Lily looked at James with wonder written on her face, "What do you reckon?" she seemed shocked, "He wants to mentor _both_ of us?"

"I guess he likes us."

Lily grabbed Juniper up into her arms and buried her face it the cat's fur, the wheels in her head turning. James stayed in his seat for another few minutes, trying to think of what Dumbeldore could've meant by wanting to mentor them and then telling them that there were more than two sides to a war.

If there was a third side, what was it?

James and Lily spent the rest of the night in the common room. The party lasted until midnight, upon which Professor McGonagall demanded they all go to sleep. Lily went up to sleep with Marlene and the rest of the Gryffindor girls. James' bed felt empty without her in it.

In the morning, the entire castle was bustling early for the Hogsmede trip. James and Lily worked together most of the morning to direct traffic and prefect rotations. Once the trip was underway and prefects were properly patrolling, James finally got to have a bit of fun. Lily and James met their friends in the Three Broomsticks around noon for lunch. Marlene McKinnon was celebrating her seventeenth birthday, and everyone was doing shots with her in celebration by the bar.

James settled into the side of the bar, one arm slung around Lily. They were all having a good time and laughing together. James almost felt like a normal teenager again, despite the weight of the words Dumbledore had said the night before. James was about to go patrol when the afternoon took a turn that he'd been expecting, but rather hoped wouldn't happen.

"James, look."

Sirius nudged him and James looked over to the corner of the bar. Next to James, Lily was too busy cackling as she and Marlene each took another shot of giggle water. She didn't see what the boys did and for that, James was thankful. Mason Mulciber was by the fireplace in a crowd of about fifteen blokes and girls in thick black winter cloaks. Mason was staring through the crowd, right at Lily.

James bristled, "If he's here, Snape can't be far behind."

"They'll try to get her alone." Sirius confirmed under his breath, "ambush her."

"Like Hell they will." James muttered back, "I'm not letting her go anywhere alone."

"Mulciber won't stop staring at her."

Sirius was right, ten minutes passed and Mulciber was still staring over the rim of his cup at Lily as she danced with Marlene and Mary. James' knuckles had turned white on his flask. Sirius refused to step more than two feet away from Lily. Finally, James had to leave for rounds. He didn't want to go, not with Mulciber looking at Lily like she was something to eat. Sirius seemed to know James was apprehensive.

"Go," Sirius urged, "I won't let anything happen to her."

"Don't let Lily out of your sight, Padfoot." James warned as he pulled on his cloak.

"I'm not even going to let her go into the loo without me." Sirius said, "She'll be okay, James."

Suddenly, Lily grabbed James' hand and shoved a shot into it. Her eyes were aglow as James looked down at the shot in his hand. Lily wrapped an arm around his waist, her red cheeks blending in with her wind tousled hair.

"Have a shot with me." She tried to push the small glass farther into James' hand, "come on, one more for Marlene's birthday!"

"Baby, I can't." James tried to force a smile and fake a laugh, "I have patrols back at the castle gates."

Lily's eyebrows knit together, "patrols already?"

James looked to Sirius for help and Sirius cut in, taking the shot from James and downing it in one go. Then, Sirius distracted Lily, throwing his arm around her shoulder and saying something about a firewhiskey chaser. James stood alone, watching Lily and Sirius get lost in the crowd. James shot a glance back at the fireplace and he caught Mulciber's eye. Mulciber's nostrils were flaring, he was clearly pissed Lily wasn't leaving the bar anytime soon.

James pulled out his wand and started his way up the walkway and out the bar door. The snow was now up to James' ankles and carolers were singing by one of the many heated shops. He stayed vigilant, his eyes scanning every little movement. If James even spotted someone who looked like Snape, he was skipping rounds and staying at Lily's side.

James walked up the high street, alone, only a few people following him back to the castle. It was the last Hogsmede trip before Christmas holidays and so, most students stayed out until curfew. At only one in the afternoon, James had an easy shift at the castle gates ahead of him. That didn't make him any less on edge, not after having seen Mulciber.

James relieved Harper Jordan from Ravenclaw from her position at the front gates with little time to spare. Harper looked bored beyond all reason.

"Nothing too crazy." Harper told James before she headed to join her mates in the village, "but I did hear that a lot of people are in The Three Broomsticks for the happy hour."

James told the young Ravenclaw thank you before she waved and took her leave. James leaned up against the half-closed wrought iron gates that separated a Hogwarts grounds from the long winding drive that led to Hogsmede. James shivered against the cold and wrapped his hands up in his cloak as he looked through the snow for signs of sketchy movement. He was so focused on someone coming from ahead that, when he was knocked down to the snow from behind, James howled in surprise. He hit the snow, shoulder first. James' wand went flying through the air only to land five feet away. James held his shoulder, feeling like he'd been hit by a bus, and looked up to see that he'd made one very fatal mistake.

His mistake was thinking that _Lily_ was the target.

Severus Snape stood over James, his wand pointed down at James forebodingly. James struggled to crawl for his own wand, but Snape shot a wounding spell, slicing James' palm open and spraying the white snow red. James cursed and rolled onto his back to keep Snape in sight. He was at a disadvantage without his wand, especially now that nothing could hold Snape back.

"Nice job, Snape." A voice called from behind James, a haughty voice that James recognized instantly.

James looked over his shoulder to see Rosier coming up the drive and twirling his wand ruthlessly. James gripped his bleeding palm, looking between his two visitors with unease. James didn't stand a chance fighting both of them without his wand. Professor Rogers hadn't exactly covered what to do when fighting wandless against opponents with wands.

"What the fuck do you want?" James spat at Rosier and Snape, the snow around him turning scarlet from his blood.

"I owe you that shiner, remember?"

"Go ahead and give it then," James said, "bastard."

"We knew we'd never get to Evans." Rosier twirled his wand as he came to stand over James mockingly, "she's got too many people watching her now, we can't hurt her physically."

"You already hurt her enough."

"No," Rosier said, "Not enough, that bitch deserves to burn like the rest of her kind."

"All she did was be herself." James snarled.

"She's not good enough." Rosier stated, "Nor _worthy_ enough to wear Slytherin colors or play on the Slytherin quidditch team. Salazar Slytherin was clear when he said he only wanted the purest of blood in our house."

James roared and tried standing back up but Snape forced him back down to his knees with a flick of his wand. James was held in one spot as Rosier kicked out ruthlessly and broke James' nose. James felt tears prick his eyes and blood fish down his face. Rosier grinned, admiring his handy work.

"Yeah," Rosier sounded high on life, "Snape and I knew we'd never be able to touch Evans, not physically, not with all her little bodyguards."

James struggled to stand up against Snape's magical hold and when he couldn't, James spat in Rosier's face. Rosier wiped the spit from his face and glared down at James menacingly. Rosier placed one hand on James' shoulder, holding him steady for another blow.

"We tried breaking her broom. We tried burning her things. Each time she came back fighting. We needed a weakness and we figured out her weakness was _you_."

"Do what you want." James snarled, "She's stronger than anything you throw at her."

"Shut up, Potter."

James felt the tip of Snape's wand press into his back. James regretted splitting the boys up to protect Lily. They should've all stayed together, or not at all. Snape, of all people, knew James and Lily the best. Snape would know that James wouldn't leave Lily willingly unless he had all the right people under surveillance.

"I bet you're real proud of yourself right now Snivellus." James hissed, "you can't face her, can you? You know you fucked up."

Snape's black eyes were irrational as he leaned down to stare James in the eyes, "I lost her because of you."

"She was never yours to lose."

Snape lashed out and James fell onto his back into the snow. James felt like his breath was knocked out of his lungs as he landed on the cold hard ground. Snape stepped on James' non-bleeding hand to keep him from fighting back, to keep him from crawling for his wand. Snape was looking at James like he wanted nothing more than to smash James' skull in.

"Go on," James keened into the snow, egging Snape on, "hurt me, do what you want and watch what happens. You won't break her, you'll only make her stronger."

"Maybe if he dies," Rosier said from behind Snape, "Dumbledore will be fired."

"I want them all gone." Snape's voice was barely above a whisper in James' direction.

"You're just bitter because Lily saw you for who you truly are, Snape." James was fighting back, fuck fighting with wands, he could tell he was getting to Snape with his words alone.

"I've only ever tried to show Lily what a conceited prick you've always been." Snape said, pressing James' hand farther into the snow, "from the moment you tried to trip me on the train in first year."

"If you're looking for an apology, I won't give one."

Snape smacked James across the face using his wand, making a gash cut James' jaw. James whistled and closed his eyes only briefly, the pain only adding to his other injuries. James stared back at Snape when he reopened his eyes, daring Snape to finally do what he'd been threatening to do since they were twelve.

"Evans won't be happy when we're through with you." Rosier seemed to not care that Snape was shaking, holding a wand to James' chest like a muggle gun, "she'll never stay in Slytherin or Hogwarts when my father's done with Dumbledore after they find your body."

James whipped his head around to glare at Rosier, spitting more blood as he said defiantly, "you and your father won't ever be able to run Dumbledore out of this school, not while there're still others loyal to him."

Something shone behind Rosier's eyes, "and are you loyal to Albus Dumbledore?" Rosier taunted, "do you want to take down dark wizards like him? Be an Auror?"

"I'll do whatever it takes to get you locked up in Azkaban for being the world's biggest prick, Rosier."

Snape hit James again, this time across the chest. James cried out and fell back into the snow, feeling as if he were whipped.

"Go on Snape," Rosier beseeched, "finish him off, I want to watch the light leave his eyes."

Snape stood steady, holding his wand down at James' face. James could tell there was a lot of internal turmoil happening through Snape's jet-black eyes. James knew Snape had probably never killed anyone before, only wished too. If Snape killed James now, there would be no going back.

"You deserve this." Snape seemed to be talking more to himself than James, "for turning her against me."

"You don't even care about her." James didn't even care that he was about to be killed or tortured right outside the Hogwarts gates, "you clearly think you do, but love isn't tricking someone and twisting their mind. You changed her, Snape. Not me. And when she finds out what you've done, she'll never forgive you."

"You think you saved her." Snape snarled, sparks flying from his wand, "But she's got a target on her back now."

"See there's your problem," James chuckled bleakly, holding his shoulder with his free hand and glaring up at Snape, "you always just assumed she needed saving."

"She's going to die in this war."

"No thanks to you."

"I tried to _help_ her."

"Help her?!" James scoffed, "You didn't think she wouldn't hear all those things you said about her, and her family?"

"Everything I did was for her!" Snape shouted, spit flying from his mouth, "I kept her safe despite her family's reputation! Despite her blood status!"

"You did nothing for her!"

"You'll never know her like I did!" Snape's wand immitted sparks, hitting James' face.

James was cool, calm and collected when he answered, "And you'll never love her like I do."

"Just end this, Snape." Rosier said, "we've already been out in the open too long."

Snape lowered his wand to James' heart, opening his mouth to issue a final blow when suddenly, the world became a wall of white swirling snow. James considered that if it was death coming for him, at least he was dying with a purpose.

James was thankful that, even if not forever, he'd been able to stand by Lily's side and find a love that was really something, and not just the idea of something. Snape would never know a love like theirs and James felt sorry for him, but James wouldn't ever forgive Snape for ripping him and Lily apart so soon.

The world grew still, and James' eyes closed against the blinding wall of white snow.


	17. This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things P2

_Chapter 17:_

_This is why we can't have nice things, darling_

_(And here's to my real friends)_

_Because you break them, I had to take them away_

_(And here's to my baby)_

_This is why we can't have nice things, honey_

_(they didn't care about that he-said, she-said)_

Hogsmede in December was one of Lily's favorite trips each year, simply because it was so fun to get out of the castle and see the Christmas decorations covered in fluffy white snow. So close to Christmas, it also allowed her to shop for gifts for her family and friends too. Where before, Hogsmede usually meant she was with Severus all day, now she was surrounded by friends who loved her for who she really was and not just an idea of who she was. Lily hadn't even made it to the shops, she was too busy with her friends.

It was weird sometimes to think of how far she'd come from the start of Hogwarts.

Now, she could truly say she was doing better than she ever was.

She had a mind-blowing boyfriend who stood broad shouldered next to her, one arm thrown about her shoulders as they all took shots for Marlene and Sirius' seventeenth birthday. She had lots of new friends who had, more than once, proven they'd stand by Lily no matter what the gossip was saying about her. She had a stitch in her side from laughing so hard as Marlene danced with her around the bar, singing a Swift Broomsticks song about turning seventeen at the top of her lungs.

The December trip proved to be a great escape from the spectacle inside the Hogwarts halls the last few months. Lily wasn't thinking too hard, she was just having a great time drinking with Marlene and Sirius for their birthdays. The bartender was having trouble keeping up, allowing underage kids to sneak quick shots as friends cheered on.

The atmosphere was hot and sweaty. So many bodies were packed into the bar, not just Lily's friends, but most Hogwarts students were taking advantage of the cheap butterbeer and warm fires. Lily was focused on the girls around her, all of them laughing and teasing each other. The boys surrounded them, forming a wall. Lily noticed James was holding back, not joining in on the fun and watching instead. She tried to offer him a drink, but he turned it away with a smile, reminding her he had rounds first.

James left the bar pretty early on, promising to meet up with Lily on her rounds later. He'd seemed distracted but Lily thought maybe he was worried about Snape. Lily hadn't seen even a glimpse of her ex-best mate. James had nothing to worry about, Lily was sure Snape wouldn't show his face around Lily again unless he was stupider than she thought.

Lily was sad James was too concentrated to have fun, but she focused on laughing with her own friends. Marissa had just stopped by.

"How are you?" she asked Lily enthusiastically once they finished hugging.

"Good," Lily told her mate, "I'm going to look at broomsticks over break! You should come!"

Marissa glowed, "I'd love that! I heard there's a new broom on the market!"

"I want to go!" Marlene yelled, quite loudly, from beside Lily, "I need a new broom!"

Anna sniggered, "You have a new broom, Marlene."

"But I need 'nother one!"

Everyone laughed at Marlene, who clearly had too much to drink. Anna started handing her girlfriend cups of water. Sophie Turner made her way over for a bit while Lily had her arms around Mary MacDonald's waist, her grin wide and uninhibited.

There was nothing to fear as they all celebrated freedom from the castle walls, not with Sirius Black acting like an over protective guard dog at Lily's side. It was almost annoying, the way she would step, and he would follow. At one point, Lily snapped at him and he backed away, but only partially.

"What's wrong?" Lily hissed at Sirius, "You're acting strange."

Sirius took her arm and shoved her in the opposite direction of the bar, pointing through the bodies of people.

Finally, she realized why Sirius was standing so eerily close to her.

Ten paces away, dressed in a black cloak and drinking beer out of a plastic cup, Mulciber stood. Lily quickly glanced to make sure Mary hadn't noticed Mulciber's arrival. Luckily, the pretty blond was too busy talking to Sophie. Lily stepped in front of Mary, who would likely go into shock seeing him. Lily recognized him immediately, despite his new buzz cut.

She kept her eyes on Mulciber, threatening him with her gaze alone. If he even looked at Mary, she was going to kill him with her bare hands if she had too. Mulciber raised his cup in Lily's direction when he caught her looking. Lily shot him the finger and turned back to her friends, desperate to keep Mary from looking over her shoulder.

Sirius, noting what Lily was doing, placed a calming hand on her shoulder and encouraged everyone to take another shot. Mary wasn't drinking, but the antics of others kept her eyes away from the fireplaces.

When Lily glanced back out of the corner of her eye, Mulciber was gone.

"Mary will be fine." Sirius muttered when he saw Lily biting her lip, "Mulciber was only looking at you."

"That doesn't make me feel in better." Lily muttered back.

"I won't let him touch you." Sirius promised, "he saw me, he knows I'm onto him."

Lily looked back over to the groups by the fireplace. The handful of Slytherin ignored her, not caring what she was doing because they'd grown accustomed to Lily spending time with Gryffindors. Maybe Mulciber had been staring because he'd never seen Lily with her friends before, only with Snape. Still, Lily still couldn't shake the feeling she was being watched and this time, she voluntarily slid closer to the boys at the bar.

The hour passed on without James and soon, Peter was reminding Lily that she had rounds on the high street for the next two hours. Lily asked to wait five minutes for James, but he never showed.

"Where is he?" she wondered out loud, over the buzzing voices of the bar.

Sirius looked unconcerned, "maybe he stopped at zonkos?"

"I'll go with you to rounds Lily," Peter offered, placing his drink on the bar, "until James gets back."

"Thanks Peter," Lily whispered, looking over the heads of everyone in the bar, hoping that James would walk through the door with a smile only for her, "Sirius? Will you tell James where I am."

"I'm not letting you out of my sight." Sirius said, also following as Peter and Lily made their way to the door.

"But James?"

"He's probably just Christmas shopping," Sirius soothed her, "He doesn't like to do it around everyone else because he likes to surprise people."

Remus had spotted them leaving through the crowd and pushed through to catch up, almost stumbling into Peter.

"Where are we going?"

"Lily has rounds." Sirius said gruffly to Remus, "And I don't trust Mulciber to keep his hands to himself."

"Fuck," Remus cursed, falling into step, "Mulciber's here?"

"I'd rather Snape." Peter said gloomily.

"Me too." Lily agreed as she wrapped her cloak tighter around her shoulders.

The boys surrounded her like a protection detail and Lily felt a rush of affection for all of them as they exited the bar into the snowy backdrop that was Hogsmede. They really were like the older brothers she'd never had. Lily was grateful they'd accepted her so readily into their lives, despite past differences.

Lily had to patrol the high street, which was the main route to all the shops. It was busy. Full of bustling bodies that were laughing and shopping, enjoying the Christmas-like atmosphere. Lily found the prefect she was replacing before she started her trek up the high street towards the Hogs Head bar. The prefect assured Lily it had been quiet, with nothing reported, and that eased some of Lily's worries.

Remus popped into the candy shop when they passed it and bought everyone hot pepper imps to munch on as Lily patrolled. They all kept an eye out for James, but he must've had to deal with students because no matter what shop they passed, there was no sign of Lily's boyfriend. They even checked the quidditch shop, where they found no one of importance.

"What could be holding him?" Sirius asked Lily as they leaned up against one of the many shop windows to scan the crowds for any signs of trouble.

Lily dug out some candy from the bottom of the candy bag as she responded, "if he had to give out detentions or anything, he would've had to go back to the castle to fill out reports."

"It shouldn't take him that long though," Remus reasoned from beside Peter, "reports take less than fifteen minutes to record. At most."

Lily finished chewing her candy, contemplating what else could keep James from joining her and the boys on high street. She knew that there were a lot of students in Hogsmede, but she also knew that if anything really serious happened, teachers or aurors would take over. Besides, James was patrolling the castle gates which were way out of the range of any real danger. Most of the students were in Hogsmede, not attempting to leave the castle for Hogsmede. The gates were considered an easy shift, if not totally boring.

They decided, once Lily's rounds were over, to head back towards the castle to check on James. He was well past his round times and there was no reason they shouldn't have spotted him while traversing Hogsmede. Peter was running ahead, kicking snow as Sirius, Remus and Lily watched on. Remus and Sirius were talking about some band Lily had never heard of. It felt like another average day and Lily enjoyed the peace as they walked down the long snow-covered road that led to the Hogwarts gates.

Peter saw it first, the crowd of students gathered by the castle gates. He faltered in his steps and Lily almost ran into him. She tried peering over the heads to see what was going on but the only thing she could tell was that the castle gates were closed. Against the snowy backdrop, the bodies of students looked like black dots. As they all slowly descended the path and into the crowd, Lily looked around for some answers, but nothing was obvious. All the students seemed to be wondering the same thing.

"What's going on?"

"I don't know," Sirius was trying to look over heads as well, "looks like they're routing everyone through the east entrance."

"Why though?" Lily furrowed her brow and stood on her tiptoes, trying to see over everyone, "why can't we go through the gates?"

A Ravenclaw two people ahead heard Lily's question and spun, "there was a fight, Mickey Smith said someone got hurt."

"A fight?"

Lily turned her gaze to Sirius, and he looked pale in comparison to the trampled snow in the ground. Sirius looked to Lily, grey eyes wide. She didn't like the way his lips seemed to thin. Lily ran her fingers through her hair uncertainly.

"What?"

"Wasn't _James_ patrolling the castle gates?"

 _James_.

Lily didn't even wait for Sirius to say anything else. Her heart rate swelled, and blood rushed to her head, as she began blindly shoving her way through the crowd to get to the castle gates. The boys followed behind her, all of their senses heightened. Lily's brain was trying to calm her nerves.

_It's not him._

_It's too late in the afternoon for it to be James._

_He was done rounds three hours ago._

_It was someone else._

"it was probably just two idiots fighting over leftover honeydukes." Sirius reasoned behind Lily, but even he didn't sound convinced.

Lily finally pushed her way through a couple Ravenclaws to the front of the crowd. Her green eyes scanned the situation in front of her, only to find Professor McGonagall and an Auror dressed in black rerouting students to the left. Lily looked that way and saw everyone being sent to the lake edge a little way up from the main gates.

"The boats are taking you in!" McGonagall's thick Scottish accent echoed over the rumble of student protest, "get to the boats, no pushing please!"

Lily wasn't focused on McGonagall or the closed gates, she was only focused on the blood stains in the snow below McGonagall's feet. The auror at McGonagall's side looked tense as he motioned student's way with his wand. He had blood on him, and his glasses were lopsided on his face as he barked orders alongside McGonagall. Lily didn't see anyone around her hurt or bleeding.

She pondered where the blood came from.

"Professor McGonagall!" Lily shouted for McGonagall's consideration.

Professor McGonagall looked relived to see Lily at the front of the crowd, "Oh Miss Evans, thank Merlin, please start helping escort the younger kids back to the castle. We've opened the boat launch."

"What happened?" Lily demanded, her fingers twisting in front of her chest uneasily, "why are the castle gates barred?"  
"Miss Evans," Professor McGonagall sounded maddened, "please, attend to your duties as Head Girl, you will be directed further once we're sure all the students are back in the castle, unscathed."

"Please," Lily beseeched, "I need to know, is James Potter okay?"

"Miss Evans," Lily jumped back in surprise from McGonagall's short-tempered response, "just do what I ask immediately, _please_."

The fact that Professor McGonagall, James' mentor through years of school wouldn't answer her, only made Lily worry more.

Sirius came behind Lily, putting a hand on her shoulder, "I'll go back to the castle and find him Lily, stay here like McGaongall asked and help the kids."

Lily turned to face Sirius, her face twisted up with uneasiness, "send one of the others back to me when you find him, Sirius."

"I will," Sirius nodded, turning to his mates, "Peter, you come with me. Remus, stay with Lily."

Remus nodded and stood firm beside Lily as Sirius and Peter disappeared through the crowd, heading in the opposite direction as everyone else.

"Where are they going?" Lily asked Remus immediately, "Hogwarts is the other way."

"They can get onto grounds faster through the Shrieking Shack." Remus enlightened into her ear, "There's a passage that leads right to the whomping willow from the house."

Lily shot Remus a looked, "The shrieking shack? Isn't it haunted?"

Remus gave her a wolfish smile, "Ever wondered where I go each full moon?"

Lily's mouth dropped open, but she couldn't ask any more questions because Professor McGonagall called her name and ordered her to start loading kids onto the boats with Hagrid at the lakeside point. Remus was told to stay behind and direct traffic so the two were forced to separate, much to Lily's despair. She tried not to think about whatever happened at the gates and instead, made her way down to the lake edge where she found Hagrid pulling self-propelling boats to the shore. Lily could see students pushing each other to get onto boats first, aggravated and tired after a long day in Hogsmede.

When Lily spotted a few seventh years pushing third years out of the way she walked over, fire in her eyes. Lily whipped out her wand and pointed it at her throat, using the sonorous charm to extend her voice.

"Younger students get on the boats first!" she ordered in her most superior voice, "Third years, get to the front! Seventh years, step back!"

Everyone turned to look at her, including Hagrid, who regarded Lily with relief.

"Miss Evans," Hagrid, the groundskeeper smiled favorably, "so nice ter get some help!"

Lily looked kindly at the half-giant before turning her attention to her fellow students again. They were doing as she asked, allowing the younger students onto the boats first. As the boats filled up, they magically began the trek across the great lake to the castle. A lot of the kids hadn't gotten on the boats since their first year and some of them looked excited at the thought. Lily was certain most of them had no idea why there was a change of plans but there were still whispers of a fight.

Lily only wished she knew why they were really rerouting everyone from the main entrance. Besides the blood, there seemed to be so evidence of anything else. She didn't know why that worried her more. As the fourth years started piling into boats, Lily made sure to sidle up alongside Hagrid. Hagrid, despite his large size, was tender and kindhearted. He considered Lily when she made her way over to him and his eyes crinkled to match his bearded smile.

"Have a good time out in Hogsmede?" he asked her gruffly.

"It was fine," Lily said, brushing the question aside for her own, "Do you know what happened at the gates?"

Hagrid shook his head no, "I was mindin' my own business when Professor Dumbledore asked me to get the boats ready. He said we had ter close the main gates to get a student back to the castle unseen. Guess there was a fight of some sort."

"Do you know who the student was?"

Hagrid shook his head again, "Afraid not, but I imagine whoever it was, they were pretty beaten up if they got carried back ter the castle."

Lily's didn't feel any better knowing that the student had to get carried back to the castle. She was itching to get back to Hogwarts, to find James. Something inside of her just knew that it was him, he was the one who'd been hurt.

_What if Mulciber had left her to find him?_

She tried not to burst into tears as she got seventh years and sixth years onto the next fleet on ships.

Sirius, Peter, and Remus didn't make a reappearance.

Lily asked a seventh year Ravenclaw for the time and they told it was half past five. Lily hadn't seen James since one that afternoon. Five hours in-between seeing him and now, not knowing what had happened to him on his rounds. How could they have been so stupid to let James be alone too? He'd been a part of everything from the start and Mulciber had been in the bar with Lily. He'd been there and seen her with James which meant he watched James leave alone. Lily couldn't help but worry that Mulciber, instead of attacking her or Mary, had gone for James instead.

A stupid thing to do, really, since James was a great dueler…but if Mulciber wasn't alone…James didn't stand a chance.

Finally, they got the last of the kids on the boats. Lily and Hagrid both got into one of the last boats. It was like déjà vu, the boat floating Lily towards Hogwarts castle as the sunset behind it. The orange, gold, and purples set the castle into magical tones that only reminded Lily how incredible her school was. She tried to paint the image to memory as the boat trailed into the boat house behind the other boats. Lily didn't wait for Hagrid to tie the boat to the dock before she was leaping up and running up the long staircase that led to an open door.

Students jumped out of her way as she ran, her robes catching around her heels. Lily's hair was in a tangled mess on her back as she pushed through the shoulders of two Slytherins who recognized her and shot her glares as she made her way into the familiar castle hallways. She barely made it three more strides when Peter found her. He had apparently been waiting for her, knowing exactly where she'd come from. Peter's sandy hair was pushed to one side and his lower lip was pouted out when he spotted her amongst the crowd of Hogsmede students.

Lily halted in front of him, breathing forcefully from running up the staircase, "James?" she inquired anxiously.

Peter nodded once, confirming her fears. Lily felt like time around her stopped and she took a shattering, loud gasp of air in. Her chest was rising and falling, as she comprehended Peter's nod and what it meant in shock. Peter's left hand reached out for her hand. Feeling like she was experiencing the shock all out-of-body, Lily took his hand and let Peter led her down the hallway.

Lily's fingers were in her hair, ironically mimicking James' nervous habit to play with the strands. Her heart was still pounding as Peter took her to the entrance of the Hospital Wing where Professor Rogers was leaning up against the double doors, covered in blood. Lily's hands clasped over her mouth, covering her cry as she realized Professor Rogers must've been covered in James' blood. Professor Rogers looked up from her feet when she heard Lily's strangled gasp. Rogers' crystal-clear eyes were dark and dejected.

"He's okay," Rogers said softly as if she knew exactly what Lily was worried about, "He's going to be fine."

Lily managed a nod to show Rogers that she understood, but she didn't stop to chat as Peter pushed open one of the doors, letting Lily enter. Lily saw, at the farthest end of the wing, Professor Dumbledore and Sirius, both standing over a bed where a boy was resting.

A boy with tousled Black hair and olive skin.

Lily ripped her hand from Peter and raced down the rows, stumbling into the bedside. James was awake and his eye widened at the sight of her, a calm settling over his face. Lily couldn't stop the tears from running down her cheeks as she looked him over once.

Lily grabbed one of James' wrapped hands, as she took in his appearance. He had a large white plaster on his right cheek, his left hand was wrapped up in cloth, and his skin smelled vaguely like rubbing alcohol. His hair was sticky with his own blood but otherwise looked okay. He appeared to be hurting because he cringed when he moved. Lily put her other hand on his bare cheek as he smiled weakly at her.

"Hi babe," he said, voice raspy, "How are you?"

"Better now that I know you're okay," she admitted through a sob, "What happened?"

Sirius answered for James, "It was Snape and Rosier."

"Snape?" Lily looked up from kissing James' hurt wrist to looked between Dumbledore and Sirius, "He was _there_?"

"They _both_ were." Sirius said sullenly, "They must've asked Mulciber to distract us at the Three Broomsticks. He wasn't after you Lily, he was just making us think he was."

Lily felt sick to her stomach as she realized they'd been played, all of them. Mulciber knew he gave Lily the creeps and that she didn't trust him. He'd used his reputation against Lily, to trick her and everyone else who'd been watching for trouble, while Snape and Rosier were lurking in the shadows.

James moved under Lily's hold, wincing as he spoke with the same raspy voice, "They wanted to make a point."

Lily felt fury flicker through her blood like a firestorm, "If I ever see them again…" she swore, losing her ability to speak.

She was so cross about it all. She was considering all the thing she'd do if Severus Snape ever showed his face around her again. Mulciber would regret ever thinking he was untouchable…and Rosier…Lily was going to go after him first. All of them would pay for trying to hurt her through James.

Sirius was flexing his fingers, looking as if he approved of Lily's fury, "Those assholes better stay hidden, they don't want to meet the other end of _my_ wand."

Lily huffed, "Where did they even go? How did James escape?"

"Professor Rogers happened upon the attack when she was coming back to the castle." Dumbledore said delicately, "she seemed to have arrived just in time."

James nodded noiselessly under Lily, agreeing with Dumbledore. Lily hated to think about what James must've gone through, especially at the hands of Rosier. She didn't know Snape like she thought she did, but she was sure he was just as bad. Especially, when it concerned James.

"They got away?" Lily grimaced, her shoulders dropping, "how? Rogers is an Auror."

Dumbledore lowered his voice, "She feels awful, but even Aurors can't win every time."

Lily recalled Rogers' defeated look outside the Hospital Wing doors. She'd looked that way because she felt like shite for not catching Snape or Rosier. Lily immediately felt bad for judging the retired Auror.

At least James was safe, that was all that really mattered.

"In order to separate Snape from me," James spoke sensitively, voice barely above a whisper, "Rogers had to blind everyone there with snow. They both dissaperated on the spot when they realized that I wasn't alone anymore."

"Cowards." Lily spat ruthlessly, sitting on the edge of James' mattress so she could run her fingers through his hair tenderly, "what's wrong with your voice?"

James cocked his eyebrow at her, "are you making fun of the way I talk again?"

Lily touched his shoulder, "No," she said, "at least not right now."

James rolled his eyes but assured her, "I think it's just the shock, honestly."

Dumbledore nodded from the foot of the bed, "you've been through a lot today, Mr. Potter." He said, "But I'm relived you're okay, your mother in particular would have never forgiven me if anything happened to you on my watch."

"Honestly Headmaster," James said, "it's probably best if we don't mention this to her at all."

"You're probably right." Dumbledore agreed, "in fact, I'll be sure to remind Minerva."

"Thanks sir," James grimaced at the Headmaster, "And next time, I promise I'll be more aware of who's behind me, sir, so I can kick some Death Eater arse."

Dumbledore smiled at James enthusiastically, "I have no doubt, Mr. Potter."

"Next time he won't be alone," Lily said wrathfully, "I can't _believe_ we didn't realize that Mulciber was a diversion. I should've known better."

"You couldn't have guessed they'd go for James instead of you." Sirius eased Lily carefully, "No one could've guessed it."

Dumbledore smoothed his beard, looking at Sirius, "You lot knew this would happen?"

Lily shrugged and responded, "We had an idea that Rosier or Snape might try."

Dumbledore hummed softly, "well, you lot have certainly made an impression."

Sirius examined his nails lazily as he asked Dumbledore offhandedly, "Will I get expelled if I put up posters labeling every Death Eater in this school by name and birthdate?"

"No more posters." Dumbledore was chuckling at Sirius' sassy inquiry, "as intriguing as that sounds."

"How else are we supposed to fight the Death Eaters in school?" Sirius asked, "I want Rosier, Mulciber and Snape in Azkaban."

"Soon," Dumbledore placed a hand on Sirius' shoulder to quiet him, "you will be given a chance to see that people like Mr. Rosier always get what they deserve."

Sirius crossed his arms, "How soon?"

"Focus on graduating first," Dumbledore looked around at all of them, "I want you to learn as much as you can from your Professors and then when the time comes, all of you will find your place in the world."

Dumbledore leaned down to touch James' leg through his blankets, "Steady recovery, Mr. Potter. I'll make sure Minerva doesn't write your mum tonight."

"Thanks Professor." James said as Dumbledore swept out of the Hospital Wing, "Make sure she doesn't write Dad either! He tells mum everything!"

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled as he turned back to wink at James, "I wouldn't dream of giving Euphamia Potter a reason to storm into the castle a week before term ends."

"I can't wait to see the look on mums face when I tell her." Sirius said gleefully.

"Do you want to give mum a heart attack?" James laughed halfheartedly before he turned his gaze to Lily, who was still running her fingers through his hair, "I don't know if it's the pain potion they gave me or what, but you look super pretty right now."

Lily managed a laugh, leaning down to kiss him all over his face until his deep laugh was filling the room. Sirius had enough tact to back out slowly, giving the couple time to themselves. They sat in silence, Lily just focused on memorizing the planes of his face as she tried to settle her heart back to a regular heartbeat. James noticed her troubled expression and he drew her hand to his lips, kissing her fingers frivolously.

"I'm fine." He crooned.

Lily frowned more and leaned forward, putting her forehead to his, "I was so worried about you."

"Imagine how worried I was, when I thought Snape was about to kill me." he joked, and she opened her eyes to glare at him.

"That's not funny."

"I'm sorry." He exhaled, reaching up with his unwrapped hand to brush her hair back, "but honestly, I'm just happy I'm not dead."

She cracked a smile at that, "me too."

James' nose nuzzled hers, "next time, I won't make it so easy to knock me down."

"You _aren't_ easy to knock down." Lily debated, "They took you by surprise. They tricked all of us just to win."

"Cunning snakes." James commented sourly.

"Hey now," Lily leaned back to glare playfully and pinch him, "I'm a snake too."

"Which is why I should've asked _you_ for a plan, so you'd outthink those Slytherin gits." James chuckled, winking at her and then wincing when his cheek plaster wrinkled.

Lily ran her hands along his battle wounds, "Do they hurt?"

"Not as much." He admitted, "Professor Dumbledore let them give me some pretty potent potions for the pain. I think he's trying to soothe me, so my mum doesn't hunt him down when she inevitably finds out. Her and Professor McGonagall are old friends."

Lily bit back a smile, "Mrs. Potter is well known, huh?"

"If mum isn't happy," James sang, like he was repeating a mantra, "Nobody's happy."

Lily giggled and leaned down to kiss James contentedly, "I can't wait to meet her."

"You both will get along great," James decided when Lily pulled away from his mouth, "You're both in love with me, so there's already a common subject to talk about."

Lily laughed louder and James laughed too, but his laugh was softer. He clearly still ached, and she felt bad that it was him, who ended up taking the fall for everything that happened between her and her fellow Slytherins. Still, if the situations were reversed, Lily would stop time for James.

Peter, Remus, and Sirius appeared later on with stacks of food and sweets for everyone to eat together. Lily and Sirius sat on the edge of James' bed while Remus and Peter took up residence on the bed next door. The Hospital Wing was filled with happiness and nonsensical chatter as they settled into dinner together. As Lily sat there eating chicken off her plate, her heart filled with warmth because she knew she'd found her family.

A week later, right before term ended, the castle had settled, and excitement beyond the normal everyday drama seemed to be nonexistent. Lily was able to stay full time in Slytherin common rooms again, thanks to Marissa and Slughorn making a new dorm for her to live in alone with Juniper. James had almost fully recovered from his attack outside the castle gates and was busy running his quidditch team into the ground before term ended. Lily's friends had become so used to each other enough that Slytherins and Gryffindors could sit near each other in public places and not cause a scene.

Rosier never came back to Hogwarts and Lily was thankful that the posters against muggleborns had stopped appearing even in the Slytherin common room. Everyone seemed to be more accepting, although there were the special few (like Amelia and Knott) who would never change. Lily made a point to avoid anyone who lived in such a negative light.

She didn't have time for their pettiness.

Instead, she focused on doing exactly as Dumbledore told them to do, learn from their Professors. Lily and James went to Rogers' office hours to thank her for saving James' life, something the retired Auror seemed to appreciate. She was sitting at her desk when they entered but now, she was hugging both of them warmly.

"I only wish I'd caught them," Rogers told James, "Gits like that deserve some time in Azkaban with the dementors."

"Don't worry," James assured her, adjusting his glasses when Rogers pulled back from her hug, "I don't plan on letting them get away with it."

Rogers patted James shoulder surely, "You've got guts for trying even when you were wandless, Mr. Potter."

"I wasn't about to give them an easy fight."

"I could tell you were fighting with every part of your being."

"I wanted to get back to Lily."

Lily smiled proudly at James and stepped forward so she could squeeze his hand gratefully, "he's pretty amazing, isn't he?" she asked Professor Rogers.

James flushed at the recognition and leaned down, pressing a kiss to her temple, "I couldn't let them win, not when I knew you were counting on me."

Rogers hugged herself as she looked between the couple, "you remind me of my husband, James."

Lily perked up, "You're married?"

She motioned to her desk, where the still photograph of Rogers and a bearded man still stood from the last time Lily had been in Rogers' office. It seemed like so long ago, when Lily had told Rogers about all her secrets. Rogers walked over to the photo and picked up the frame carefully. She passed it over to James, pointing at the man with adoration in her eyes.

"His name was Joe Rogers."

"Horses?" Lily questioned in the picture.

Rogers smiled, "I grew up on a farm," she explained, "Muggleborn, remember?"

"What's your maiden name?"

"Karyn Mansby."

"So, your husband Rogers was the pureblood." James determined.

"He was always a fighter," she laughed softly, "a Gryffindor like you."

Lily leaned over James' arm to stare at the photograph as Rogers spoke as if she were back in another life.

"We met in fourth year when we both got detention." She laughed, "we hit it right off, but he was a Gryffindor and I was a Slytherin. Back then, the houses were just as segregated, so we met each other in secret."

"Sounds familiar." Lily said sympathetically.

Rogers considered Lily gently, "I told you Lily, I knew exactly how you felt."

"You loved him." James said, pointedly.

"Very much," Rogers nodded, "Not everyone agreed with our relationship though."

"Why?"

"I was a loner, and only muggleborn Slytherin. Dating the pureblood, Gryffindor Head Boy? Everyone thought Joe could do so much better than me."

"Wow." James chuckled, "this sounds like Lily and I."

"More than you know." Rogers smiled, "the other students used to tell Joe, _'Karyn's nothing but trouble, don't trust her'_ and he got loads of detentions for beating up anyone who ever had anything bad to say."

Lily hummed as she stared at the picture of the couple on horseback, "How sweet."

"He was my best friend."

Lily glanced at James and saw he was looking at her, likely feeling the same rush of affection she felt. He squeezed her hand three times, his smile widening. Lily side stepped closer and placed her head on his shoulder as Professor Rogers ran her fingers across the frame.

"We both became aurors." She whispered, "we got into a raid two years ago and he died saving my life."

Lily's head shot up, along with James', both of them in disbelief. They watched as a single tear rolled down Rogers' face. Rogers was always so strong and hard pressed; it shocked Lily to see the woman show emotion. Lily swallowed and reached out, touching Rogers' shoulder serenely. Rogers' eyes lifted with Lily and the Professor gave a watery smile.

"The world wasn't very good to us," Rogers said, her voice wobbly, "but I hope that it will turn out better for the two of you."

Lily couldn't help it. She stepped out of James' grasp to reach out and hug the short Professor tightly. Rogers hugged Lily back, clearly receiving Lily's consideration. Lily bit her lip and drew back to look the teacher in the eyes.

"When I graduate," Lily said sincerely, "I hope to be half the Auror you were."

"No," Rogers brushed her tears away and got the same stubborn look in her eyes, "You'll be better."

"I don't know about that." Lily laughed as she let go of her Professor and fell back into James' grasp, "You did kick my arse in dueling the first day of term."

Rogers smiled, remembering the duel perfectly, "I remember."

"You're an amazing Professor." James told Rogers, "Hogwarts is lucky to have you."

"Thank you, Mr. Potter," Rogers looked between the pair tenderly, "And I hope you'll both allow me to be your mentor when the term restarts after holidays. There are so many things I could teach you both about magical defense."

"Really?" Lily and James instantly jumped at the offer, "yes!"

Rogers laughed at their exuberance and clasped her hands together, "maybe we'll extend it out to everyone. A Dueling Club of sorts. Would you two help me run it?"

"We'd be honored too," Lily said, "All of us need to be prepared for what's out there."

"Lily's right." James said, "had I known a bit more, I might've been able to give Snape and Rosier a run for their money."

"It's settled then," Professor Rogers said, "I'll speak to Dumbledore to get official permission, but I'm sure he'd be interested in teaching a few classes himself."

Professor Rogers ended up inviting them to stay for tea. She accommodated them with stories of her Auror days, mostly exultant and outrageous ones. Lily's favorite was when Roger's told them about the time that she singlehandedly fought a dragon on the Thames. Each story got wilder and wilder as tea continued, sometimes making Lily and James both snigger rowdily over their tea.

When they were done with Professor Rogers' tea, James and Lily made their way to the library where they were supposed to meet Sirius for a gobstones championship game. James was outwardly happy beside Lily, twirling her down the hall they walked together.

"What's got you smiling so big?" she asked after the second twirl, that landed her into his arms.

"You."

"Care to elaborate?"

James used his hips to push Lily back until she was flesh up against the nearest tapestry. She beamed up at him, feeling his bliss take root in her own soul. James reached up with his hand, the one that was still scarred from his encounter with Snape, and pushed Lily's hair from her eyes compassionately.

"I'm excited for break."

"Why?"

"No school," he kissed her once, "I can snog you whenever I like."

"You already get to do that." Lily reminded him.

He hummed, leaning down to kiss her with a smile. Lily leaned into his kiss, relishing the taste and feel of him in her mouth. Her hands looped through the hair at the base of his neck as she leaned up on her tiptoes as the kiss broke off into a million little pecks all over her face. She laughed from his show of adoration, feeling loved and cherished while wrapped up in his strong arms.

"I love you." She purred as his fingers danced across her skin, "so much."

James' hazel eyes were smoldering as he leaned his forehead into hers, "want to skip gobstones?"

"Sirius will murder us and you've had enough brushings with Death this month."

"It'd be worth it." James said and Lily laughed but shook her head, "We promised him."

"You're a better friend than I am." James leaned up and off her before he offered Lily his hand.

Lily smirked, taking his hand and swinging it at their sides as they continued on to the library. She and James waved excitedly when they spotted Sirius among the onlookers as the gobstone competition was starting. Lily settled into James' lap on his chair as they watched Sarah from Hufflepuff completely slaughter Melina from Gryffindor in the gobstones tournament. James was hardly watching the game, too focused on placing various kisses on every inch of her skin that he could reach. Sirius just rolled his eyes at their antics when he noticed their attention had diverted.

That night, after successfully sneaking into the Gryffindor common room past curfew, Lily slowly fell asleep in James' arms. James was humming along to a Swift Broomsticks song as he and Sirius did their end-of-term essays for Transfiguration. Remus and Peter weren't too far away, playing chess. Marlene and Anna were cuddling by the fireplace after having made fun of Lily and James for doing the same exact thing.

Tomorrow, the train would take the students back to the real world for school holidays. Lily didn't know what the break would bring, but she was excited to get out of the castle and home to her family. She couldn't wait to introduce her parents to James. Plus, Marlene, Marissa, and Anna were all planning on visiting Lily with Mary. It would certainly be a Christmas break to remember, and far different from anything Lily had ever imagined.

"What are you thinking about?" James murmured into her ear as her eyes opened and closed sluggishly against his chest, "You've been awfully quiet."

"How happy I am," she said snuggling into his hold, "I'm happy you're safe and with me."

James nuzzled his face into her neck, she could feel his smile on his lips against her skin, "do you know what I thought about when I thought I was…dying?"

Lily turned her cheek, "No?"

"I was sad we didn't have more time together." He kissed her neck languidly, "I wished for more time and now, we have all the time in the world to make up for it."

Lily felt tingles all the way down to her toes, "Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had been sorted into Gryffindor with you in first year."

"I would've kissed you a lot earlier," James nipped at her playfully and she laughed, twisting in his arms so that she was facing him, her legs straddling his waist.

She pressed her nose to his ardently, "How much sooner?"

"Certainly, before seventh year." He scoffed, "Fifth year at best."

"Fifth year, eh?" Lily teased him, "Did you have a crush on me in fifth year?"

James flushed under her gaze, "I mean, probably did, hard for me to tell the difference between lust and loathing though."

"You _did_ hate me for being in Slytherin." Lily mused, "you wanted me to fall fifty feet off my broomstick all to win the quidditch cup."

"Like you didn't want me to fall off _my_ broom in the middle of a game."

"You're right, I totally wished you would." She disclosed, kissing him slowly before saying, "but I think you just hated me because I was a Slytherin, not because I had a decent reputation on the quidditch field."

"Yeah," James considered, "I definitely didn't like you because you were a Slytherin, but that was before I knew..."

"Knew what?" Lily probed, poking his arm.

"It's not all about your reputation or what house your sorted into."

He was right, of course. When they'd first met, they'd both been guilty of trying to fit each other into molds that were pre-determined but some magical hat. James had only seen her for the green and silver on her robes, not the colors in her heart. As for Lily, she'd only seen the version of James that he'd chosen to show her. They'd both allowed judgment to cloud their relationship and make them build walls. Despite their past, they'd torn down those walls to find happiness, together. Despite everyone telling them to stay away from each other because of their differences, they still fell in love.

"I guess it doesn't matter then in the end," she supposed, "what house I was sorted into."

"I would've loved you either way, Lily Evans."

"Is that so?"

"Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff or Slytherin. I would've picked you out of the crowd each time." James pressed a kiss to her lips, and she smiled against his mouth before he pulled back to whisper, "you are so distinctive, generous, and clever. No matter the reputation of your house, good or bad, no magical sorting hat can generalize _you_ into one category."

"Are you saying that you don't believe in the house system?" Lily asked, quirking her eyebrow at James, "you, James Potter? The boy who lived, ate, and breathed for Gryffindor when we first met?"

"I'm just saying that in the end, it doesn't matter what house you're in, as long as you're a good person," James retorted, "Slytherins can be cunning and sneaky but they can also be kind and loyal."

"Gryffindors," Lily said with a smile, flicking his chin, "Can be brave and overassertive, but they can also be determined and intelligent."

"Exactly." James said, nodding resolutely, "the house does not define the person."

Lily nodded firmly, agreeing with him as she sunk back into his arms. There would always be stereotypes, Lily knew that, but a part of her desired for a promise that one day, there wouldn't be a stigma between houses. She prayed that there would no longer be a standing that if someone was in Slytherin, they were cruel, and if someone was in Gryffindor, they were noble.

Lily hoped that one day, it would all be okay.

Lily's own reputation had been destroyed, cut to pieces by her own faults and heartbreaks. She was happier now and better now because of it so she didn't regret anything that had happened. In fact, Lily was thankful that any of it did happen. She was relieved that James became her friend and saw what abuse she was enduring, brave enough to speak out. Without any of the pain of the last few months, Lily never would have ended up in the arms of someone who truly felt like coming home. Lily was grateful that Rogers found out that she was muggleborn and even more grateful that her friends had her back, even when they knew she'd been lying.

Lily wasn't the person everyone had thought she was but, that was okay. Lily didn't want to be that person, she never did. She was happy just being herself, whoever she wanted to be.

And, in the death of her reputation, she truly felt alive.


	18. New Years Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! It's so crazy to be giving you guys this last chapter (or, well, epilogue I should say)! I wrote this peice just as a fun extra little tidbit and from here, you can imagine their story ending however you like. Maybe, the prophecy doesn't come true in this universe.
> 
> Thank you, thank you for coming on this journey with me. It's been an absolute pleasure to read all your reviews and theories on tumblr, as well as on A03 and FanFic. I can truly say, I'm sad for you to read the last page because that means no more Reputation Era. Writing this fic let me extend the Reputation era past the end of tour and for that I'm so grateful. I do have deleted scenes and stuff I might publish later on and if I do, they'll be under something called "Reputation Secret Sessions".
> 
> I have had the time of my life, writing this story with you.

_Chapter 17:_

_You squeeze my hand three times in the back of the taxi_

_I can tell that it's going to be a long road_ _  
I'll be there if you're the toast of the town babe, or if you strike out and you're crawling home_

_Don't read the last page, but I stay._

"Come on James!" Lily hollered piercingly from beside Sirius as James did a lap around the snowy field on his broom, trying to catch up to Marlene as she tried to get the quaffle to the other side of the pitch, "Knock McKinnon into the snow!"

They were at a New Year's Day match of street quidditch, with James and Marlene both leading opposite teams. Lily and Sirius weren't the only ones screaming James' name in the crowd. James' parents were there wrapped in blankets and sitting on foldout chairs, cheering loudly for their son. Mrs. Potter had her hand in Lily's hand, squeezing it every time James scored a goal.

At first, Lily had been nervous to meet James' parents, but they had welcomed her into their house with open arms from the very first day. Mr. Potter loved making fun of James for falling in love with a Slytherin but Mrs. Potter always stuck up for Lily during those playful arguments. Lily loved his parents, and, despite the shock, Lily's own family had been quite receptive of James when he'd shown up the day after school let out to snog Lily against the glare of the Christmas tree lights. Lily's father as still warming up to James, but Lily's mum was such a fan, that she always asked Lily when they were going to see James again.

Neither Lily's mother, or father, even asked once about Snape. Only Lily's sister brought up Snape. It was one late night when she was brushing her teeth as Lily got out of the shower. Lily and her sister had never really gotten along, but Petunia squared her bare shoulders and asked Lily bitterly that night, probably with the intention to start a fight.

"Where's that creep boy from down the road been?"

"We don't talk anymore." Lily had replied coolly, dropping the subject immediately.

It was the first time in years that Petunia actually seemed to be proud of Lily.

Luckily, besides that one altercation, Lily hadn't had to think about her ex best mate at all. He was nothing more than a bad memory. Mary had dutifully stepped in as Lily's best friend, often stopping by to watch their favorite television shows together at night. They'd both been through hard times and were better people because of it. Lily couldn't ask for a more understanding person to be her best friend.

When Mary or the other girls weren't around, Lily had been adopted by James' mates. Remus, Sirius, and Peter all considered her a permanent part of their lives now. Sirius especially, had taken quite a liking to Lily and now the pair were almost as inseparable as James and Sirius. It had been Sirius' idea that they all go to James' street quidditch match as a family since James and Lily were going to the concert the next night.

Lily and Sirius both started screaming their bloody heads off for James when he scored another goal. They high-fived as James did a victory and they laughed when they heard Marlene cursing James' future children from the other side of the pitch. Street quidditch had less rules than real quidditch and was more hands on, which is why Lily was sitting out. She didn't fancy going up against James and breaking a broom on the same day, especially since she just gotten a new broomstick to replace her broken one for Christmas. Lily didn't want to have to buy another if anything happened. Two players had already been escorted off the field by fouls that had them broken and crying on the sidelines.

Lily preferred the sidelines for once.

In the end, Marlene's team won, if only because Marlene had a ruthless side that even James couldn't compete with. James sauntered over to his family, broomstick slung over his shoulder. He was covered in fresh bruises and cuts from playing. Lily raced forward to lean up and press a hearty kiss against his cheek as James' parents stood up to clap their son on his back proudly.

"Nice playing James."

The Potters, always so friendly and kind, invited everyone back to their house for hot chocolate and shortbread. Everyone was talking about new year's resolutions, but Lily didn't care about any of it. She just wanted to snog James, something she told him when his mouth wasn't full of shortbread. James and Lily snuck away from the party going on in the sitting room so she could snog him probably, away from prying eyes.

Mrs. Potter watched them go and her eyes shone brightly. They'd learned pretty quickly not to snog in front of Euphamia, who always looked close to tears when it happened. Apparently, Mrs. Potter had been worried James would never fall in love because he was too busy causing trouble. Mr. Potter warned Lily and James that if they weren't careful, Euphamia Potter would start taking pictures just as proof of her son having a girlfriend to show her bridge ladies on Thursdays.

Lily and James took his warnings to heart, making sure to only get handsy when they weren't anywhere near James' mother, who seemed to have a camera ready at any moment.

"How long before mum comes looking?" he joked with lily as they fell back against his locked bedroom door.

"Fifteen minutes."

"I hope not." He chortled, "although, she adores you, she'd interrupt us just to ask you your opinion on diner tonight."

"My dad still isn't sold on you," she confessed as he started unbuttoning the sweater she wore.

"Well that's shite."

"He just doesn't like how handsy you are."

"Also shite." He said as he undid her bra.

Lily laughed into his mouth, "but my mum told me she'd marry you, if I didn't."

James chuckled, pressing kisses to her jawline, "will you marry me?"

Lily's hands wound up in his hair as he kissed her lazily, "tomorrow, if you asked."

James was pulling off his sweater as he replied casually, "this _is_ me asking."

She grinned at him, feeling her cheeks warm up at the thought, "you're serious?"

"Yes," he said honestly, "I want to marry you."

"That's not the same as asking?"

"Will you marry me?"

"Well," Lily pretended to consider, James pinched her sides and then she said humorously, "will the color scheme be red and gold for Gryffindor? Or green and silver for Slytherin?"

James picked her up and she laughed even louder as he carried her to his bed, "I don't care about a bloody color scheme, Lily, I just want a yes or no."

He pressed his kisses along her throat, bringing her back to the night before. She recalled the clock when it struck midnight and the way he'd dragged her away from the fireworks and the glittering orbs, kissing her until she was moaning his name.

Lily knew it was going to be a long road ahead, after all the war was only getting started. Still, as long as she had James, Lily felt like she could face any obstacle the world threw at her. She wanted to stay by his side no matter what, just like he'd done for her since the moment they'd become friends.

"Marry me."

" _Yes_."

He rested over top of her, kissing her, lavishing her, making her see stars as she sunk deeper into his comforter. They could hear people downstairs cheering about something, much like the night before, but they couldn't be bothered to care. Not with her hands in his hair and his fingers on her skin as they let the remainder of their clothes litter the floor like confetti.

"You and me," he breathed against her skin, "forevermore."


End file.
